Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy

On Sunday night – November 28th – back to Tulsa from a beautiful week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with my son and his family after a whirlwind previous couple of weeks when on Tuesday, November 16th, my Honey graduated to heaven; Wednesday and Thursday, preparations for the funeral; Friday, the funeral; Saturday, Family Thanksgiving at my home and Sunday, the 21st, the Route 66 Marathon where over 35 of us walked/ran in the “Run for Ron” -- Movement of Gratitude. We left that Sunday afternoon for Cabo.

Cabo was just what I needed – to get away – find that place of consolation, peace and serenity. Everything about the previous few weeks – in fact, the last eight months seemed quite surreal. But, I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and, because of this profound place of peace, I literally feared no evil. God was there to comfort me – that was His promise in Psalm 23 – He had kept His promise. I was comforted.

Arriving back at the Tulsa Airport, I thought about the changes that I was about to face – not with fear, but “just pondering”. As I walked through the gate from the jetway, I immediately began to think about how my previous arrivals to the Tulsa Airport had been. I remembered how my Honey would tell me he’d just meet me at baggage claim, but he never did. He would always find a hiding place in the waiting area, where passengers would leave the airline gates, and as I walked through the security door, he’d pop out behind a post or the crowd, and with open arms, grab and kiss me, and let me know how much I’d been missed. He always looked so handsome, dressed so fine, and smelled so good. I’d think “That’s MY man!” In the car, he’d always have a single rose lying on the console, soft music playing, and give me another “welcome home” hug and kiss. Our travel home would be me, non-stop, telling about the adventures of keeping the grandkids or some other very important reason that would take me away for a few days. Then arriving at home, the house would smell so good (he always made sure it was clean from top to bottom), and soft music would be playing. But, I knew.....tonight, would be different.

My eyes welled up in tears as, this time, he didn’t surprise me. He wasn’t waiting or hiding as he had always been before. But, then….what to my wandering and teary eyes would appear….as I walked out to baggage claim, but my two “Tulsa” grandkids --running to me with open arms and screaming, “Nana, Nana! We made you cards and presents! Did you bring us something?” Oh, sweet and great distraction from my previous thoughts! Getting into the car, they excitedly displayed their “Welcome Home” handmade cards and ice cream stick creations – one to hold my pens and pencils, and the other, a drink coaster and ice cream stick crosses. They were little chatter boxes all the way home, and at my home, my kids made sure the lights were brightly burning, soft music was playing…..and the house was so clean and smelled so good. Of course, Nana brought them gifts from Cabo that gave them even more excitement. Oh, how my Heavenly Father gave me exactly what I needed, once again – “good tidings of comfort and joy” that comes from a loving Father in the form of the purity of two little children who love me so much. Once again, I was reminded of God’s blessings to me and how much I have to be grateful for – the most of which is that my Honey is basking in the presence of God, free of pain and living in perpetual celebration. Dear friends and family have e-mailed me, sent me cards or called me to express their best wishes and I continue to respond that I have been and continue to be wrapped in a blanket of peace and I choose to stay there....in that Secret Place of the Most High -- abiding in the shadow of the Almighty. Also, my promise in Isaiah 26:3 that says, "You will keep him (Donna) in perfect peace, whose mind (Donna's mind) is stayed on you: because he (Donna) trusts in you."

Of course, I have waves of emotions -- when I see his pictures, his clothes, the fingerprints of his life all over this home -- most assuredly, I miss him beyond words....but that doesn't say I'm going to allow myself one moment of grief (definition: deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement) or sorrow (definition -- mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair). Both of those words talk about "mental" suffering. I refuse to go there. No, I’m not in denial. I’m in that "secret place” of the Most High – abiding under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91:1). I have a choice – to be in sorrow and grief – or to celebrate each day that God gives me. I choose to open wide the windows – to listen to joyful Christmas music – to shine the Christmas lights brightly -- to laugh with my grandchildren while making gingerbread cookies -- to call a friend and encourage them –- to raise my voice in song, especially singing, “God is so good”. I will finish strong! I will be a conqueror!

Yes, now I know, from first hand experience, what it means to have a loved one in so much pain; I know what it is to have to deal with financial issues; I know what it is to have a loved one "go home"; I know what it is to not know what tomorrow holds. I am living it and walking through it, and, I can tell you....living in that place of peace -- taking one day at a time, and above all, knowing my Father will take good care of me – is the place to be. He promised it and I choose to believe it.

I purpose to live out my faith with joy instead of sorrow, dancing instead of mourning, wearing a garment of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness. It is reality of Christ's redemptive work on Calvary. And here’s the real deal…I can look Death in the face and declare -- "Oh Death, where is your sting? Oh Grave, where is your victory? Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Corinthians 15:55,57.

Yes, at this beautiful time of the year…we can all sing the words “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, let NOTHING you dismay, remember Christ, our Savior, was born on Christmas Day, Oh tidings of comfort and joy!”