Forgiveness is Unlocking the Door to Freedom

Forgiveness is Unlocking the Door to Freedom
FORGIVENESS: to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek his or her forgiveness for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness isn't granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love, mercy, and grace. "Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free, and realizing you were the prisoner." Max Lucado

I’ll admit FORGIVING is a “tough nut to crack” when we’ve been so rejected, wronged, harmed, heartbroken and betrayed. But, then there is the upside down world of God’s Word which usually tells us to do the opposite of what seems right for us at the time. Colossians 3:13-14 “Bear with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” That scripture doesn’t say anything about the one apologizing and ASKING for forgiveness. It simply says “forgiving each other”. How is it possible when we may have been hurt so deeply?

I've read many incredible stories about people who forgave in the most heart-wrenching situations, especially when forgiving would seem so unnecessary on a human level. Most recently, we all grieved with the families who lost their loved one(s) in the Florida school shooting by a 19-year old man. I can’t imagine the deep sorrow of the parents' and the spouses' and families', but I do know our all-loving God is with them to comfort and strengthen them as they reach out to Him. I was so inspired when I read the story of 11th grade student at the school, Daniela Menescal, who survived the mass shooting. She told a news station “It’s a miracle that I’m alive.” She said she thought it was a drill until the moment bullet fragments slammed into her back and leg. Inside her locked classroom, she said she and other students hid behind a metal cabinet as gunfire sprayed the room. "I saw the blood and then the girl in front of me turned around and I saw her -- she was hit in her face." Two students in her class didn't survive. Despite what happened, Menescal said she still believes in FORGIVENESS. "In the back of his mind (the shooter), God is with him and I know that we all deserve a second chance, and that even for all that he caused, I forgive him," Menescal said.

Another 16-year-old Junior at the school, Shay Makonde, led a time of prayer. He said, “Those who are lost, we shall carry on their lives for them.” Then he went on to say that he cannot hate the shooter — he hopes he changes in prison. Instead, Shay says he wants to focus on the people he still has in his life, and on honoring his lost friends' lives. “Hatred”, he said, “only breeds more hatred and pain. I can’t afford to hate, or lack courage."

On October 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts walked into an Amish school in Pennsylvania and shot ten girls, killing five of them. On the same day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the girls who had died, told other relatives, "We must not think evil of this man." Another member of the community visited the shooter's family that day to comfort them and offer forgiveness. Dozens more attended his funeral and offered to give financial support to his widow. One member of the community later said, "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss, but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts."

The truth about forgiveness is that it is not a natural response and it isn’t for the person we’re forgiving. It’s for us. I heard it quoted: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Unwillingness to forgive eats away at our hearts and souls, while forgiveness frees us. No greater forgiver was Jesus, Who, after the lies, beatings, denials and pain, said "Father, FORGIVE them for they know not what they do."

When we have been hurt, we face the same challenge that those who we've hurt faced. Will we respond with compassion, kindness, and FORGIVENESS? And, will forgiving become a way of life for us? "Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ." Ephesians 4:32. It sure seems like a tall order, but one that comes with sweet rewards. We can move on with our life, have freedom from the pain of the past, enjoy greater happiness in the present and better health and well-being. Love means saying "You're FORGIVEN!" We may not forget, but we are at least free from the burden of unforgiveness. It’s not that we dismiss the pain, but it does mean we recognize that even our greatest wounds and deepest pain will one day be transformed into beauty by our God who wastes nothing. “And FORGIVE us our trespasses as we FORGIVE those who trespassed against us.” From “The Lord’s Prayer” in Matthew 6:12.