No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!

No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!
Self-Sufficiency - self-supporting, self-reliant, self-sustaining,

"I’ve watched my dear 95-year-old mother-in-law, who has been quite independent for years, now be willing to let go of that self-sufficiency. Since she uses a walker, I offered to carry her purse and she’d reply “I can carry it myself!” Now, she let’s us carry it, and, recently, has even succumbed to allowing us to push her in a wheel chair when she leaves the house. It came with great difficulty to relinquish her independence, but now she gladly allows us to help her out.

Funny how, in this independent mindset that we hold on to for so long, we become almost TOO GOOD at being self-sufficient. I’m guilty as charged. Fortunately, there have been very few things that I couldn’t do myself, especially in this age of being able to google just about anything to DIY (do it yourself). In fact, I just had to use google to figure out how to put a spray tank together so I could spray some of my bushes for insects. Whoa la! Done!

Because of Dr. Google, I can tell my doctor what my health issue is even before he tells me. With google and other sources, I have become a master problem solver. Whenever I face difficulties that seem insurmountable, I stick with it until I find a solution. I am determined to find a way to manage difficulties without needing much help from others or being a burden to anyone else.

Typically, self-sufficiency would be considered an admirable quality to strive for, but now I'm thinking I need to guard myself against becoming too good at it. I don’t want to bother anyone else to have to help me. I feel like I should be capable and strong enough to make things happen and roll with the results without falling apart. I’ll admit it -- it’s been difficult to humble myself to ask for help or guidance, even when I need the support. But, I do have to call in help to pull down my attic stairs which are heavy, high and, clearly, are a hazard. I sure don't want my family to have to deal with a bruised, broken or lacerated Mom/Nana.

How well I remember the independence of my children and grandchildren when they were toddlers. They wanted to do everything themselves — except for when they didn’t want to do something, like clean up their toys or eat their veggies. I wanted to help them grow and I wanted to fix things and prevent difficulties for them. It's the plan to give them the tools they need to make wise choices so they can grow up to be self-sufficient. Sometimes that means letting them fall down so they can learn and grow from their own mistakes, even though we’d rather protect them from falling. Nevertheless, we are there to protect them even when they fall.

Our Heavenly Father longs to have that close relationship with us. He wants to help. He wants to save us from a lot of the mistakes we'll make without His wisdom. He wants us to be dependent on Him. It’s easy to rely on our own strength, our own ability, and our own wisdom — so much so that we no longer reach out to our Father and let Him in to help us. It’s so easy to start to leave Him out of our daily life, decisions and activities, and only run to Him when there’s a big crisis.

Even in the thick of our daily challenges and struggles, God is right there to lay His gentle hand on our shoulder to say “Let Me help you with that.” He’s hoping we will let Him help. He never stops loving us or wanting that relationship with us, even when we feel like we should have it all together by now. I don’t like calling out for help to anyone, but I’m seeing that there are times when I must. In the same way, God is a mere call away when we call upon Him.

Psalm 91:15 “Call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you.”

By the way, I am delighted that I'm NOT so independent that I can yield to my children's wishes this weekend, when they're giving me my Mother's Day present in the form of power washing my patios, garage, driveways and windows. Yes, I'm still a "smart cookie"....I know when to DIY AND when to submit to the joys and blessings of motherhood -- and relinquish my self-sufficient spirit!

I Can Do It Myself

I remember when my son was just learning to walk. Already, before he was completely steady on his two little feet, he had already gained the "I can do it myself" mentality. He'd try to pull his hand away from our clutches. On one occasion, we were walking down a slight incline and I was holding tight to his little hand to protect and guide him, but he managed to pull out of my grip. In about two or three steps, he lost his balance and footing, fell and rolled down the hill. When he got to the bottom, lying on his back, he looked up at me and asked "Why did you do that?"

Isn't that just the way we are? Do you remember a time when you were doing your best, on your own, to make it? We want to do it "my way", but when we do, and the outcome is less successful than we expected, we look up to God and say, "Why did you do that?" The fact is, God doesn't ever let go of us, but we pull away and say "I can do it myself. I'll lead. You follow Me!" Oh that we would hold on tight to God's plans, wishes and desires for our lives When we hold His hands, we are assured of His provision, His protection, and His peace. "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes before you. He will never leave you or forsake you." Dueteronomy 31:6

If we've prided ourselves on not needing anyone, or have just feared trusting another person because of disappointment or betrayal, God wants to more than make up for our disappointment in someone else by showing us, in His Word, that He's the most reliable One we could ever depend on.

God is the One who protects us and keeps us safe. The Psalmist tells us: "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8.

Whether it's protecting us, providing for us, or helping us to work out our troubles, God can be trusted to care for His own. I never want to be so independent, that I forget Who is my everything. My dependence is on Him. So, let's grab hold tight to his loving hands and arms. He assures us that He'll help to make our rough places smooth and our winding places straight! Back to where I started, my little guy got a little upset because "he let go", but look at what God says to us even when we let go of His grasp: Psalms 121:2,3 assures us "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth He will not let your foot slip -- He who watches over you, will not slumber."