This is what Love and Life Looks Like

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." (Jeremiah 1:5) Oh, yes, my friends – God isn’t surprised by surprises. In fact, He is delicately, intricately, lovingly, and carefully at work in our mama’s womb from the moment of our conception. And these photos are proof of what love, support and life look like when a young person and her family value that precious, God-given life. Is it easy? I'm sure it isn't -- but it will be oh, so worth every minute of choosing life.

Last week, a dear friend sent me a private FB message asking if I could help her with a proclamation she was making to the world. I was surprised by the story, but I was so proud of her for being such a loving, caring and supportive mom to her 16-year-old daughter, but also because she led us all in the value and sanctity of life.

I was able to pray with her a few weeks ago when she came for prayer for several things -- but this one wasn't mentioned. Her hands were already full including the passing on of her beloved father. I love how deeply my friend loves. I asked if I could share my suggestions for her proclamation. Obviously she said "yes".

"Amidst all the concerns and worries about all that’s going in our world, the Torres Family were blessed to welcome a beautiful, brand new life into our home on Sunday, September 6th, 2020 at 8:05 pm. Needless to say, a lot changed for the Torres household when precious baby boy, Elijah, made his debut, making Secily, a mom, Andrew and Seth, uncles, and for Richard and I, grandparents. So, this is our new US – with new life, joy and laughter brimming in our home!

This is Us, today, but just a few months ago, when we heard the shocking news of our teenage daughter embarking on an unplanned journey, our first reaction was tears, fears and concerns. But, after the initial shock, we chose to welcome this precious addition to our home and family. We are so grateful for the unconditional support and prayers from our family and our church family who embraced the journey wholeheartedly with us.

We are so proud of our daughter for choosing life at the young age of 16, and only three weeks after my dad’s passing. So, please join our entire Torres family as we welcome Elijah Candelario, weighing in at 5 pounds, 4 ounces and 18 inches long. Sweet and beautiful Elijah, you have given us reasons for so much joy in a time of grieving from the loss of your great grandpa, Candelario. We love you so much and are so thankful God gave us you!
“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.” Psalm 30:11"

I know this story isn't the same for everyone when making the tough choices for life. Some young women don't have supportive families like the Torres family. Some don't have resources to provide for their prenatal care, the birth of the baby and the ongoing care that follows, but God who delicately and intricately formed that precious baby, is the same God who cares for us all of our lives. He has plans for each life and in partnering with Him, we'll find the support, the resources, the strength and, if for the best, a loving couple, unable to give birth naturally, is waiting and longing to adopt. Living with no regrets is key to loving life. Life is precious. And so are you.

Let's Be Pep-Talkers AND Burden-Bearers

Based on my social media newsfeed, I know there are many who are suffering. It's easy to respond to a "sufferer's" FB comment with cliches like: "Praying for you." Or, with scriptures like: "When we are weak, He is strong" or "All things work together for good." Please don't misunderstand me: Those words are true. Pep-talking cliches and scriptures aren't wrong. They're often just not enough.

As someone who has been on the sending AND receiving end of a lot of “let go and let God” and “sometimes God shuts a door and opens a window” pep talks, sometimes it can feel a little lack-luster. Especially if that’s all we’re getting from people. Jesus was great at reading a room. He could spot hurt and doubt and fear and He knew just when someone needed a tangible touch of grace. Jesus offered His presence and comfort, but He also met people’s needs right where they were at. He served them, fed them and healed them.

It’s often easier to promise someone a happy ending than to accompany them on their journey. As our friendships are deepened, new levels of openness can give many opportunities for becoming "soul" brothers and sisters AND being burden-removing friends to them.

Do we bear one another’s burdens well? Or do we spend most of our time trying to convince them that it’s not really that heavy or that they don’t have that much further to carry it? We believe God calls us to a life of dependence on Him, but shouldn't we also believe He calls us to a life of interdependence with each other as the body of Christ?

I've been on the giving and receiving end of burden bearers -- helping take care of children while they recuperate from an illness, helping pack up friends' homes when they're under a crunch to get moved, making meals for funerals, taking food to a caregiver so they don't have to think about cooking on top of all their other responsbilities, taking a friend out to dinner who needs "presence". And, I've been on the receiving end of those who were my burden bearers. I needed to know that God was close. That Jesus wasn’t far removed but instead cared that I couldn’t go grocery shopping without leaving my husband. A God who understood that medical bills and prescriptions are costly and sometimes our bank account didn't stretch far enough. I needed a God who gave me moral and physical support. And God did show up for me through God’s people who lifted us in prayer, who sat with me through the tears, who reached out to say, “How can we help you in this?”

Sometimes we need to do more than just an offer to pray. Not because prayer isn’t powerful or necessary, because it is. But sometimes after we’ve prayed, God is asking us to move. To invest more than our words, to invest our time, our energy, our gifts, and our presence. He’s calling us to get close, not just to Him but to each other. We can be the answer to someone’s prayers. For goodness sake, don't stop being great cheerleaders and pep-talkers, but let's be the tangible touch that shows what Jesus meant when He said: "I'm here with you" and meant it.

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Amping Up Our “Little” Light Wattage

Here at Children’s Hospital, it’s an early, busy morning for radiology, fractures, and casting. Kids will be kids, and getting fractured and broken bones come with the territory. We see young gymnasts and cheerleaders who take an awkward tumble, athletes who fall the wrong way, and everyday mishaps at home. I love being here and seeing “healing-in-action” by these well-trained and gifted medical team members. I spoke about Ricky, an orthopedic technician, a couple of weeks ago in one of my blogs. Today, he stops by to tell me I was on his mind at 4 a.m. this morning! (Gasp!) “Was it a nightmare?” I asked. He quickly replies: “No, I was thinking about you and your blogs and I want to share some insight I’ve gained."

Ricky goes on to tell me why he purposes to be a light to the children: “As a result of parents talking negatively about their fears and pain from injuries they suffered as children, many of the children I care for have the idea that they, too, should be afraid. I do my best, before I treat them, to take my time to help comfort them before I ever start in with their treatment. I’m also very aware that because of racial divides and prejudices “talk” in families, some children come inbred with preconceived ideas that aren’t true. What parents say, affects children’s thoughts. As a black man, I have to intentionally come across to the patients that I am a kind and caring friend so I take, sometimes, too much time, to deflect their concerns. I just want to be a light that shines brighter than their concerns.” I assure you, he does!

We go into a deeper conversation about the importance of caring, sincerely caring, about everyone we encounter. Instead of people feeling they are only a number, they sense someone cares about them enough to greet them, ask their name and say “How are you doing today?” (and really, really mean it). Mother Teresa said, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." William Shakespeare said, “Eyes are the windows to the soul”, so shouldn’t we look into the eyes of others and desire to reach into their soul (their will, their mind and emotions) to lift them from sadness, defeat, worry and stress and help reverse those emotions to joy, peace, hope and love with some kind words?

I know that I harp a lot on “Letting our little lights shine”, but I wasn’t the original harper. Jesus was. He said, “You are the light of the world, a city on a hill that should not be hidden!” What do lights do? They brighten a room. They cause darkness to flee. Even if it’s a small nightlight, we can still maneuver through an otherwise darkened room with much more freedom.

Maybe you don’t consider yourself to be a spotlight or a fluorescent light (like what is in this area that I work in here at the hospital.) Lord, have mercy! Every wrinkle, freckle, make-up flaw, spots on clothing and hairs on my head -- is magnified! But at the same time, there is no darkness to be found here. I like to think that my bright light is brighter than that bright light. We can start off as a little night light by simply smiling to those we encounter. Before long, we’ll start to amp up the wattage and our light won’t be able to contain itself. It will brighten every corner, every crevice -- every friend or foe -- with God’s bright light.

Practice and Practice Makes Perfect

I thoroughly enjoyed the TV show “Little Big Shots” with Steve Harvey, as the most incredible talents were revealed by the youngest children. Case in point: Four-year old Evan Le who “picked up” the piano only a few months before and played “The Flight of the Bumblebee” masterfully. (I posted the link below if you’d like to see it. It’s hilarious AND amazing!) I can understand how methodical training, coupled with guidance from parents and teachers, and personal determination and drive – the faster and the younger the children are in becoming accomplished musicians or whatever they are given to learn.

On a personal note, I started taking piano lessons when I was 8 years old. The first thing I learned was how to read the notes on a page and associate those notes to the keys on the piano. Then I learned how to look at the music and pay attention to my fingers at the same time. That sounds like a lot of coordination is involved, and, yes, it is -- eyes, fingers, ears, and a good brain. But as I practiced and practiced (for years -- much longer than kids today), something remarkable happened. Not only was I able, by instinct, to play what I was seeing, but before long, I even had music memorized and I was able to play by memory. All those lessons and all that practice served me well over the years as I played the piano and organ for our church and our quartet that itinerated around the U.S. and Canada.

Learning to play the piano (or any instrument) takes time, determination, practice and consistency. And that's the way it is with anything that we want to accomplish in life -- whether it be in learning to cook or a new language, being good at a sport, dance, or even in being a better husband/wife, parent, friend, employee or neighbor.

Let's say we really do want to be caring and giving. Maybe we've been "all about me" for far too long, and now we're ready for change. First we get a plan of action (like I had to with learning to read the notes and keys). Every day we think about how we can be more kind and generous to our spouse or neighbor or work associates. Then we determine to carry out that plan (just as I practiced over and over). We practice by offering to help someone with something they are having to do (i.e., clean out a garage, help an associate with meeting a deadline, take care of a neighbor's kids, tutor a child, offer to help at a local charity, etc.). And we keep on practicing those caring and giving habits. All of a sudden, by instinct -- by second nature -- we are living out what we put into practice. We become the one that raises our hand when someone asks for help -- just instinctively. We can't help it -- it's second nature.

Indeed....practice makes perfect in just about everything we hope to excel in -- in life -- and that holds true to practicing love, harmony, faith, good attitude, consideration for others, and generosity.

Here’s that darling video of Steve Harvey and Evan Le: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnXT8SY4-9Q
#PracticeMakesPerfect

Reach Out and Touch Someone

We all know the power of a caring touch. The doctor who treated us, the teacher that dried our tears, the hand holding ours at a funeral, the hand of our sweetheart reaching out to hold ours, or a handshake of welcome at an event?

Shouldn't we be reaching out touching others also? Many of us do. We use our hands to pray for the sick, or to reach out with a congratulatory high-5 or even to write a letter or make a call or bake a pie for someone who needs us.

My nephew, Mark David Lawrence, a Skilled Nursing Facility Administrator, in the early 90's, opened an 8-bed AIDS unit in his facility. That was still at a time when healthcare workers and the general public were uneducated about the disease, and the rumors ran rampant as to how AIDS was spread. Mark and his medical team, spent hours teaching and training. They opened the unit, and were full within a few weeks. One day, during his daily rounds, he learned a valuable lesson.....the power of a simple touch of his hand as he shook the hand of a new patient, and held it for a moment. Tears welled up in the patient's eyes and he uttered the words, "You are touching me, and you are not wearing gloves". Out of all the classes and seminars he attended, the most valuable lesson Mark learned in caring for people, was simply the touch of his hand on someone who was hurting.

Let's make the difference in someone's world today....by reaching out and touching them. They'll know they are loved, and appreciated when we do! Diana Ross sang it so well: "Reach out and touch somebody's hand -- make this world a better place, if you can!"