Even in Messy, Whiny Days – God is Right Here

I’m here at my office desk typing this blog. My morning ritual is in progress. Wake up (thank God, I woke up), head to my office, look over my blog written yesterday with a fresh perspective, make necessary changes and publish on Facebook, Instagram, and my two blog sites. I look at my desk cluttered with papers, coupons, bills to pay, mail I haven’t opened and garage sale supplies (yes, I’m having a garage sale with my community this weekend – what a work-out that is). Please, God, don’t judge me on messiness or whininess today!

I have a lot on my plate today – some God things, but mostly Me things. I hear a voice in my head telling me what I do doesn’t really matter. It’s small stuff compared to others who are juggling way more than I am. And, not having all the responsibility that comes with raising a family, I still feel a bit overwhelmed today with “to-do’s”, meetings to determine if I should take that new ministry position, this garage sale, my volunteer job, and other commitments. But, does it all matter anyway?

It’s likely the opposing team, the enemy of my heart, that is causing this inner turmoil AND this whininess. He tries to make me feel insignificant and under-qualified. He plays a number on me. I recall a couple of days ago when my granddaughter had to let her brother use her car. She said: “I sure miss my car!” I replied “I sure miss Papa!” It put things in perspective for her and reality to me. I really do miss him when I could use his arm around my shoulder, snuggle me close into him, cheer me on and remind me “I’m here for you!”

A bad movie is playing in my mind: “You should throw in the towel and coast. You’ve earned the rest. You should sit back and let God use others. What you do doesn't really matter anyway. You should stop right now". Then into this space of doubt and anxiety, I hear God’s voice telling me I’m not alone in this “life” thing. He’s right here with me, always, still saying, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). And this too: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

If we are showing up to serve our Maker, if we are seeking to follow Him, and there is someone or some-thing trying to push us away, then we can be sure it is not God. He is not saying we are disqualified. He’s not hollering “shape up or ship out.” His instruction isn’t, “Come back when you’ve got it together.” Instead His invitation is, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

As I take hold of this truth today, my shoulders relax, my breath slows. I settle into my comfy office chair that has become a place of simple, enlightening, beautiful grace. I start typing this blog again – perhaps the words are more for me than you. I push the POST button and trust that there is someone besides me who needs an encouraging word that helps them know, they are not alone either. That whatever happens in this day and whatever we say and do, we will still have God by our side and on our side at the end of the day, telling us "You are enough!"

When You Pass Through the Waters.......

I'm back home after a week of family fun in San Jose del Cabo. The experiences and daily inspirations are still with me, so rather than my sand and beach blogs, now I'm taking it to the open waters and the chills and thrills of some water adventures.

My oldest and youngest grandsons headed out on stand-up paddle boards. That is a feat in itself -- to get yourself upright on the boards. I'm doing good to get in an upright position from the ground -- never mind, on water! (Gasp!) The waters were smooth and the tide was slow coming in. No concern. No life vests needed -- after all, they didn't plan on going out very far from shore. What started out to be a 15-minute joy ride, turned into massive concern for their lives when the wind picked up and the waters started rolling out, and so did the boys. They continued to get taken further out from shore. They'd make a little progress forward, but then the waves would take them even further out. Both guys started to get very concerned when their paddling and leg strength was gone. Braden was about to get Bryson to move over to his paddle board because it would be better than getting separated when all of a sudden, after an hour of struggling, the winds stopped, the waters smoothed out and they were able to easily paddle themselves back into shore. Big Braden admitted to how concerned he was for their lives.

I understand there are benefits to paddle-boarding, besides the fun. You can get a tan, burn more calories in an hour than most sports because of the combination of strength, balance, core, and endurance. So I'm assuming my Braden and Bryson burned a lot of calories. But, there are also detriments.

Brennan and Bryson's adventure is a reminder of the times that our faith journey has highs and lows, scary and, sometimes, painful times. It’s in those times that we don’t take life for granted and we press in for divine intervention. Every day, whether we are aware of it or not, our lives may be spared as we may be in near-death situations, near-devastation circumstances – but God is with us in those stormy, perilous waters times. The reassurance of it all – God NEVER leaves us or forsakes us in ALL of life's adventures. We just need to hang on for dear life and enjoy the ride that, no doubt, will soon come to an end!

The next day, Bryson wanted to snorkel so he put on his equipment and headed out. I kept an eye on him as he seemed to be with a couple of other kids and stayed quite close in when all of a sudden the three of them plus a guy on a paddle board seemed to get further away. I became concerned about their safety and rushed to them along the shore when the guy on the paddle board signaled the "OK" sign and I realized he was one of the water attendants, and so was the third guy in the water. Those two kids were well protected by two trustworthy guys.

Bryson's snorkeling adventure reminds me of when our faith journey is more routine, uneventful, calm and filled with joyful and peaceful times. And, like those smooth-sailing waters times and like those attendants watching over the kids, God is with us and we come to know God's faithfulness to us.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

The Thrills, Chills, and Spills of Kayaking

Our recent trip to Beavers Bend included a leisurely, afternoon, 2-1/2 mile kayak trip down the Mountain Fork River. Right away, Staci and I decided to get a 2-man kayak. We asked which of us should sit at the back or front. The kayak rental guy said, “It depends on brains or brawn”. Evidently, I have the brains, because he recommended Staci take the back seat as it would require more focus on rowing. As it turned out, we both enjoyed casually rowing and occasionally giving it a heave-ho. We meandered off the beaten path…er the water-way and paddled into a grove of trees and just chilled out and then we found a huge flat rock formation and “beached” our kayak on it. We disembarked and cooled off in those chilly river waters. The rest of our kayaking buddies thought that was such a great idea that they joined us. This kayaking ride was a joy ride – just basking in God’s creation and enjoying His peace throughout.

Now let me tell you about a kayaking adventure that was quite different. It included thrills, chills, and spills. This one was with my husband and our two oldest grandsons, then 12 and 14 (11 years ago). Our plan was for a leisurely float trip down the Illinois River. The river was up to 8+ feet because of recent rains so it was mandatory that we all wear life jackets. My husband and younger grandson had the 2-man kayak and the 14-year old and I each had a 1-man kayak. It was impressed upon us to avoid any fallen trees because that is where the more dangerous rapids would be. Being the adventurous team that we were, we opted for the 12-mile, instead of the 6-mile trip.

We were off and rowing. We were having a great time enjoying each other and the Illinois River's beauty and serenity. At 4 miles in, Barrett (Bear), the 12-year old, assured us he was now well trained and ready to have his turn in the 1-man kayak. So he took it on for his solo ride while Ron and I took over the 2-man.

Then our guardian angels went into double duty. Not 5 minutes into Bear’s "solo ride”, rushing water pulled him into the "fallen trees with heavy rapids" waters. He was stuck. Papa and I quickly rowed to assist him, but no sooner than we reached him, he laid back on his kayak, and was freed from the perilous waters and floated on down the river. We weren’t so fortunate. The fierce rapids pulled us into the trees and turned our kayak over. In a matter of seconds, I was stuck under the kayak. I had the momentary thought that I could drown right here. At the same time, my husband was using all the strength he had to pull the kayak off of me. Then, as if an escape hatch was opened, the kayak came off of me and I popped up out of the rushing water. I am convinced, was it not for divine intervention, my husband's strength, and the life jacket, the sharp branches of the tree and the rushing waters would have resulted in someone else sharing this story with you. When we were toppled, we lost our oars and the kayak took off down the river without us. We were free-riding in the rushing river with only our life jackets keeping us bobbing.

Braden, the 14-year old, caught the 2-man kayak, but in the process lost his 1-man into a clump of fallen trees and rushing water. During this whole perilous experience, a family in a raft (the first people we'd seen since we started), witnessed our predicament. They pulled off to shore to see how they could help. They were able to retrieve our oars as they floated down the river. They were expert swimmers with experience in whitewater rapids and insisted on helping us free the kayak that was stuck in trees. As their two young children, our grandsons, my husband and I watched from shore, this precious couple took our 2-man kayak, and with great skill dislodged the 1-man sending it on down the river. We expressed our heartfelt gratitude when we made it to their camp. They were "angels on assignment" for us. Their presence was divine intervention.

TRon, Bear and I boarded the two-man kayak, Braden was on the one-man, and before long, we saw the kayak stuck in another treed area, with oar and cooler still attached to it. This time, my hero, Ron, climbed the treed area, worked his way through poison oak vines, limbs, and branches, enduring lacerations, cuts, and a terrible poison oak rash that last for days, but released the kayak. Thankfully, the kayak floated to a shore up ahead where we were elated to stop and express our thanksgiving to God for safety, protection, and to eat our lunch that, unbelievably, was completely dry. After lunch, we continued on down the river, for an uneventful 5 more miles.

Our most recent kayaking adventure reminds me of the times that our faith journey is more routine, uneventful, calm and often extremely filled with joyful and peaceful times. God is with us in those times of smooth-sailing waters.

The other death-and-harm defying kayaking adventure is a reminder of the times that our faith journey is filled with highs and lows, pitfalls and pretty scary and painful times. It’s in those times that we don’t take life for granted and we call on divine intervention. Every day, whether we are aware of it or not, our lives may be spared as we may be in near-death situations, near-devastation circumstances – but God is with us in those stormy, perilous waters times. The reassurance of it all – God NEVER leaves us or forsakes us in ALL our kayaking experiences of life. We just need to hang on for dear life and enjoy the ride!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6