Loving our Neighbors as We Love Ourselves

I’ve been here at my Austin family’s home for over two weeks now. Here’s the bonuses of being here:
1) Breathtaking views of Austin’s Hill Country from their back patio – perfect for a morning of holding hands with God and His creation.
2) Hanging out with the critters.
3) Going make-up free and even coiffed-hairdo free.
4) Being on the elliptical equipment to do my 4.5 mile workout each day.
5) Eating out of their pantry and refrigerators.
6) Wearing jeans and a t-shirt or my work-out clothes.

But, if someone were coming over or I was invited over to someone’s home or taken to dinner (I have been several times), I gussy up, coif my hair, put on a little spray cologne and wear an attractive outfit. After all, I want to dress for success. Actually, I’m loving both sides of this girl – the no frills and the dolling up. I love me – both ways. I love who I have become in the process of loving God with all my heart. It’s taken many seasons to get me to this self-assured season. Remember Jesus’ words to the lawyer: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself!” (Mark 12:31).

But there ARE those times when I allow myself to feel “less than” when I see you younger, flawless, smoother complexions, trim figures, silky hair and wearing shorts that show off your legs especially when, these days, the spider veins in my legs remove all desire for shorts or a swimsuit. There’s all kinds of strange “wisdom bumps” (as my dermatologist calls them) appearing in even stranger places. But, here’s the truth of the matter. We need to stop beating ourselves up for the way we look, be it extra weight around our middle that we call “our spare tire” or whatever our imperfection obsession might be and start loving the body God created especially for us. We are the only make and model of us on planet earth! One-of-a-kind!

While I’ve been here, I’ve taken to the elliptical equipment in the fitness room, doing 4.5 miles daily (76.5 miles for the 17 days I’ve been here). It’s great exercise and good for the body, mind, and soul. AND, the most important, is the quiet, alone time with God and me that builds up the inner me which is the most important, for sure.

We can’t love our neighbors as ourselves if we don’t know how to love ourselves. When we focus on feeling imperfect on the outside, we lose focus of how far God has brought us on the inside. Besides -- I have a feeling our outside isn’t as bad as we think. We have a purpose and we have a calling and we can’t walk in any of it if we can’t see beyond the mirror. We’re all on this journey together and seeing beyond ourselves is a wonderful way to travel.

No matter what we’re struggling with, God is bigger. I need to remember that the next time I get another "wisdom" spot. When we feel defeated by our imperfection obsessions, Jesus is right there to help us overcome those woe-is-me feelings. When the enemy tries to sell us a load of lies, let’s don't buy it! I know that’s easier said than done, but there’s nothing sweeter than trusting God in our human frailties and darkest moments. Let’s look at ourselves the way God sees us and say goodbye to our struggle with imperfection. God sees us through the sacrifice of Christ, and that is more perfect than anything we could ever hope for. We truly can surrender all the pieces of our life to the One Who made us and the One Who gave His life for us.

The Perfect Date or BORING!!

Perfect Date -- being entirely without fault or defect : flawless; satisfying all requirements, accurate.

When my daughter and I were posing for this photo, we meant it to be funny, and it is, but I started giving it more thought. Here are two women with two men who don't see us or speak to us. What boring dates! LOL! On the other hand, some might say -- the PERFECT DATE -- we didn't need to dress up or put on make-up, and we could talk and talk without resistance.

I know there are many women AND men out there who live in that existence. Women feel like their husbands could care less about them, how they look and what they say. Those men stay glued to their computer or TV, with little thought for giving their wives or children attention. It's also the case for many men who feel that their wife gives more attention, concern and care to their children and others than to them.

That wasn't the case last Sunday when we arrived back from a 3-1/2 day retreat. Those husbands had been in charge of the family for those days we were away, and after the 11:30 am service, I could see husbands AND their children hugging and kissing Mama! I said to one couple who was holding on to each other for dear life "Okay, you need to get a room!" LOL!
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It’s easy to look back on my past and see all the things I could have done better. My life has been blessed, but it took the death of my sweet husband to realize just how blessed my life really was. That's why I sense such responsibility to pass along wisdom I’ve gained to tell all you husbands and wives to treasure the lives you have together. Treasure them by investing into it.

How many times do you argue with your spouse over the silliest things? The toothpaste lid, who makes dinner, the toilet seat being left up, telling each other how to drive? Trust me when I say, it's not worth it. It's a waste of time to spend time over pointless drama when you can be laughing and smiling at all the joy that surrounds you. Cultivate your relationship by deliberately setting aside time for quality communication, sweet moments of telling each other just how valuable they are to you and the family, and to really listen to each other. Protect your marriage by investing in it with intentional, deliberate times together.

For all the things I regret not knowing or doing before my husband’s death, what I don’t regret is my decision to live a full and passionate life after his death. I’ve promised myself I won't miss an adventure and I will laugh and live life with all the joy and happiness I can find. We can't go back and change the past, but we can all change our present, our future AND the memories we will have with our loved ones. We can learn from our mistakes and we can make sure we LOVE LARGE and we can make sure we live each day in the richest way we can -- in the moments!