When Humbling Myself is the Last Thing I Want to Do

I was dealing with a complicated situation that led to my feelings being very hurt. It didn’t seem so trivial that I could just forgive and forget and it didn't make sense to let them off when they knew what they did was wrong and they didn’t even apologize. I know that it’s up to me to forgive them anyway because I know the saying well “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”

I get amused at how God shows up and speaks to me. My son and I were talking and I was bemoaning my “relationship situation”. I was hoping he would take pity on me and agree that the other person was callous with their actions. But, do you know what that man (my son) said to me – that man that I raised to be a kind, forgiving and loving man said to me? “Mom, read the Prayer of Humility and St. Francis' prayer “Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.” How dare he? How dare my children put into action what I taught them?

I knew God was speaking to me through those words and I tackled praying about how to make the wrong right and I soon received the answer I needed. I typed a long email to this person. With elaborate detail and CAPITAL letters, I punctuated all their wrongs. I signed it, "With love".....AND never sent it. It felt good to get it all off my chest. In a matter of days, simple and casual text messaging between the two of us ensued and a sweet apology came with asking for forgiveness.

I had been given words from my son, straight from Heaven Central, and those words, taken to heart, altered the course of what could have been an extended time of estrangement. I took a step back from all the emotion and frustration to sit quietly with Jesus and He untangled the mess for me. Here are some things that happen while sitting quietly with Jesus: We humble ourselves because of He Who is perfect and is perfectly in love with us, despite how many times we have failed Him. In the heat of a mess, the last thing I want to do is get humble. But, I’ve learned I have to step out of the battle and humbly ask God to speak truth to my heart for things to start to make sense. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand that He may lift you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:6

We can pour our anxious hearts out to Jesus who loves us right where we are, how we are. And because His love comes without judgment, we can feel safe enough to humbly admit we need Jesus to work on us and then truth is revealed. The truth is: We have an enemy, and it’s not each other. Satan’s influence on us and the person offending us is the real culprit. I can’t realize this in the heat of the moment. But in the quiet, I become alert and can gain a strategy for acting in a more self-controlled manner. I can rest assured God will use my conflicts for good. God has a way of making us stronger and more tolerant in our relationships when we humble ourselves enough to receive from Him in the quiet what He wants to teach us through it all.

How Can I Forgive and Forget?

How Can I Forgive and Forget?
A friend emailed me yesterday about “forgiving” and “forgetting”. It blessed me. How often do we get hurt by someone, or even, we’re the someone who hurt someone? We keep beating ourselves up about our mistakes, do our best to forgive ourselves and others, but still those mistakes we made or others made, just continue to linger with us. The past still plays havoc with our minds and we tend to carry the weight of those mistakes for way longer than we need to.

My friend attached this song to her email and I played it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ
I sensed the sweet presence of God as the words filled the room. I knew I needed to make this my post for today.

Our "Life Story" book is being written daily. The words on the pages may be words like: “You failed again. You lied again. You messed up again. You spoke those hateful words again. You’re a failure. You’re hopeless. You’ll never get over those mistakes.” But, then we go to God and admit our failures, we express our sorrow for the times we messed up. We ask for forgiveness. And the next thing we know…..we pick up our "Life Story" book and open the pages……and, incredibly, those pages are all blank. And, we realize God has wiped the slate clean – the pages in our book are blank. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone. The new is here.”

The TV screen in our minds is filled with words like “He hurt you again. She lied about you. He broke your heart. Never speak to her again. They’re no good. He is a loser. She doesn’t deserve your friendship.” But, then we go to God and ask Him to love through us. We ask for His heart to forgive in spite of whether or not they deserve forgiveness. We ask God to heal our minds from the hurt they caused. The next thing we know…..the TV screen is blank. Then we realize God has freed us from the pain that others caused us and we come to know that forgiveness is possible because of the price God’s Son paid on Calvary. He was our example as he prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)

Listen to this song -- and where forgiveness is needed to today -- either for yourself or someone else -- know God's arms are open wide to forgive AND forget. The lyrics go like this:

"The past is playing with my head and failure knocks me down again.
I’m reminded of the wrong, that I have said and done,
And that devil just won't let me forget in this life.
I know what I’ve been, but I'm here in Your arms,
I know what I am -- I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven.
And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been
'Cause I’m forgiven.

My mistakes are running through my mind,
And I’ll relive my days in the middle of the night.
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride.
Sometimes I feel alone and I cry.
And in this life I know what I’ve been.
But here in your arms I know what I am
Well, I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been
'Cause I’m forgiven."