Let's Be Pep-Talkers AND Burden-Bearers

Based on my social media newsfeed, I know there are many who are suffering. It's easy to respond to a "sufferer's" FB comment with cliches like: "Praying for you." Or, with scriptures like: "When we are weak, He is strong" or "All things work together for good." Please don't misunderstand me: Those words are true. Pep-talking cliches and scriptures aren't wrong. They're often just not enough.

As someone who has been on the sending AND receiving end of a lot of “let go and let God” and “sometimes God shuts a door and opens a window” pep talks, sometimes it can feel a little lack-luster. Especially if that’s all we’re getting from people. Jesus was great at reading a room. He could spot hurt and doubt and fear and He knew just when someone needed a tangible touch of grace. Jesus offered His presence and comfort, but He also met people’s needs right where they were at. He served them, fed them and healed them.

It’s often easier to promise someone a happy ending than to accompany them on their journey. As our friendships are deepened, new levels of openness can give many opportunities for becoming "soul" brothers and sisters AND being burden-removing friends to them.

Do we bear one another’s burdens well? Or do we spend most of our time trying to convince them that it’s not really that heavy or that they don’t have that much further to carry it? We believe God calls us to a life of dependence on Him, but shouldn't we also believe He calls us to a life of interdependence with each other as the body of Christ?

I've been on the giving and receiving end of burden bearers -- helping take care of children while they recuperate from an illness, helping pack up friends' homes when they're under a crunch to get moved, making meals for funerals, taking food to a caregiver so they don't have to think about cooking on top of all their other responsbilities, taking a friend out to dinner who needs "presence". And, I've been on the receiving end of those who were my burden bearers. I needed to know that God was close. That Jesus wasn’t far removed but instead cared that I couldn’t go grocery shopping without leaving my husband. A God who understood that medical bills and prescriptions are costly and sometimes our bank account didn't stretch far enough. I needed a God who gave me moral and physical support. And God did show up for me through God’s people who lifted us in prayer, who sat with me through the tears, who reached out to say, “How can we help you in this?”

Sometimes we need to do more than just an offer to pray. Not because prayer isn’t powerful or necessary, because it is. But sometimes after we’ve prayed, God is asking us to move. To invest more than our words, to invest our time, our energy, our gifts, and our presence. He’s calling us to get close, not just to Him but to each other. We can be the answer to someone’s prayers. For goodness sake, don't stop being great cheerleaders and pep-talkers, but let's be the tangible touch that shows what Jesus meant when He said: "I'm here with you" and meant it.

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

God Fills the Shoes of the Best Friend EVER

A week ago, I blogged about how important friends are to our well-being. Then, after being in a room of people that I didn’t know and feeling rather lonely amidst those who knew each other and were carrying on conversation and laughing, I gave that blog a second thought. Now I realize there may be those that my blog struck a less-than-harmonious chord. I thought through my blissful expression of friendships and how grateful I was for so many in my life, but I started thinking about those who may be wrought with loneliness, over and over again and may be crying out to God asking, “Where are my deep friendships?” Mother Teresa said, “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” I felt that in that room.

In a perfect world, my idea of a deep friendship is composed of two people who love each other so deeply that it’s a bit overwhelming. If we’re discouraged, our friend is there to listen and encourage us. If we’re excited, she’s the one throwing a party. If we’re frustrated, he’s the one pulling us out of it and helping us change our attitude to joy. They ask all the right questions at all the right times and are 100% invested in the story God is writing through our lives.

Basically, this perfect friend is birthed straight out of 1 Peter 4:8 which says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” Perhaps you read those words and discontent overshadows you. “Where are those friends?” As many friends we have or as few – those multitude-of-sins covering friends, just may be hard to come by – even the "bestest" of best friends may have difficulty with that much love. But here’s what I know with all certainty – there is that kind of friend and He is found here in Psalm 62:1-2. It says: “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Go ahead. Breathe those words in. God’s answer to our prayers comes to you and me saying....“I am the only One Who can love you like that; I am the only One Who can perfectly meet your longings.”

We can’t deny that our Heavenly Father is the friend who exceeds expectations. When we are discouraged, He’s there to comfort us. When we are excited, He rejoices alongside us. When we’re frustrated, He reminds us to choose His great joy. He doesn’t have to ask the right questions at the right times because He knows our heart – He knit us together in our mother’s womb and is 100% invested in who we are. Our Father is the only One Who is fully capable of living out 1 Peter 4:8. He loves us deeply, because His love covers all of our sins.

We learn that our soul truly finds rest in Him alone. And as soon as we get that, the weight will fall off our friendships. Released from the bondage of our expectations, everyone around us becomes beautiful and they have the potential to be our friend without expectations. We don’t have to have deep relationships. Of course we want to love and be loved, but no matter what our friendships look like, our deepest longings will never go unmet; God has already filled those shoes.