Had Any Knee Jerk Reactions Lately?

This weekend's activities weren’t a knee-jerk reaction. It was well planned to go to Tulsa for my two 77-year old friends’ wedding. How could I miss a sweet love story celebration? I knew I just had to make the trip. I know it will be worth it.

On Thursday, I helped a dear friend that's going through a divorce move some of her things. Her movers were coming on Saturday. She’s been taking her time on this move because it included a lot of decisions to be made. After prayer, she had new insight about some complications of moving on the weekend instead of during the week. I overheard her talking to a friend who was questioning her reasons, but she told her friend: “Please don’t question my reasons, God directed me when to move!” She was strategizing with God's wisdom and direction.

These two sets of friends are making some really big decisions and both are seeking God for His direction. There are plenty of times when we all have huge decisions to make. "Should I say “yes” or should I say “no”. Should I stay or should I go?" And there were times when rather than waiting to hear the voice of God, we just can't sit idly still. So, with a knee-jerk reaction, we GO.....only to realize we put the cart before the horse...er..rather, we put our ways before God's ways.

What happened to the instruction from our loving, all-knowing Father? ”Be still and know that I am God!” (Psalm 46:10) But we can't just sit STILL long enough to get the plan from THE MAN. So we head out on our own. A friend told me she really made a mess of a hasty decision and became quite disappointed in herself. She went to see her Mom and her downcast attitude caused her mother to say, “I know that look! So, you had to be in charge again, instead of letting God be charge?"

We can sure get ourselves into some messes. We make those decisions without consulting God and we forward aggressively. Then suddenly we’re overcome with a loss of peace and a troubled heart. Our “knee-jerk” reaction propels us into unknown territory because we made some regretful decisions.

Here’s what I love about this faith journey we are on. Though we may start out our day as independent, self-willed "can-do" people, and we may get ourselves into some crazy situations that may come as a surprise to us, they are not a surprise to God. In spite of our knee-jerk reactions, God is still our loving Father. And, like our kids who repeatedly do something that we’ve told them a hundred times not to do, we lovingly reel them back in with correction and help them through the mess they got themselves into. That's how much God loves us too!

God’s character can be trusted. God delights in answering our prayers, but He doesn’t always answer how we think He should answer. I think I have great ideas about how my life should go. I think I know what is best, but then I remember that He knows better. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows what outcome will bring about His purposes. He wants to bless us with good things: health, wholeness, peace, joy, and rest. When I pray and I feel as though He is silent or not letting me in on the game plan, I have to trust that there is a purpose to what He hasn’t told me. He doesn’t hide things from us to hurt us. He will allow us in on His plans in His perfect timing. His perfect timing is the timing that places us at the right place at the right time with what we need for ultimate blessings.

Thankfully, when we're impulsive and have knee-jerk reactions, our loving Father gently jerks us back on course to help us finish the race we've started.

Being a Self Leader Before Becoming a Leader of Others

Yesterday morning, in our devotions, the subject of self leadership came up. Self leadership is a discipline that causes us to first strive for being a good leader to ourselves, even before considering being a leader to someone else. Self leadership is introspection and awareness of how and what we think and how we react. Self leadership is having a developed sense of who we are, what we can do, where we are going coupled with the ability to influence our communication, emotions and behaviors on the way to getting there.

Here's an example: Someone tells a lie about us and we take in that negativity. As a self leader, we can think I'll get even with them. I'll give them my two cents worth. I'll expose the truth about them. Or, as a self leader, we can have a little visit with ourselves and offer suggestions for a better way to handle the situation. We can say things like I need to confront them with kindness to see what caused their actions. I could speak to myself about patience and tolerance and be quick to forgive them.

I can't begin to tell you how many times the enemy pushed me beyond my strength. In reality, I wanted to throw in the towel and retreat to a place of self-pity. I longed for someone to talk to about it, and I realized the one I needed to talk to was me. I recall the story of David in 1 Samuel 30 where this future king of Israel was learning to lead his troops. He wasn't by any means a highly skilled soldier at that time. Even though God poured His favor on David, one terrible day, he and his troops returned home from fighting another enemy and David and his men discovered their camp sites destroyed and their women and children had been dragged off. That would be defined as a bad day for any leader. His soldiers were tired, angry, and worried sick about their families. They were miffed at God. Some of his men spread word that they'd had it with David's leadership. They figured it's all David's fault, and they decided to stone him to death.

In this crisis David's leadership was severely tested. Eventually, he has to decide who needs leadership the most. His soldiers? The Officers? The enemy? The answer? None of the above.

In that critical moment David realized he had to lead himself first, before he could lead anyone else. Unless he had his mind and spirit together, he had nothing to offer his team. So in 1 Samuel 30:6, we read that "David strengthened himself in the Lord his God".

David understood the importance of self leadership. And although self leadership isn't talked about much, I assure you, it is the leadership that our world seems to be most lacking. How can we expect someone else to fix what's wrong in our world, our churches, our schools, our government-- if we can't fix ourselves? How effectively can any of us lead others if our spirits are sagging, our courage is wavering, and our emotions are always on the edge where we respond with knee jerk reactions instead of weighing what our next words will be, or should be?

Here's what I considered about leading myself. If a problem comes to my attention - - first, take a deep breath and have self control. Rather than having an immediate knee jerk reaction, ponder the ways to correct the problem.

Leadership is an art that I want to master. I desire to be able to remind myself who I am and how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I want to self lead myself to be patient, calm, focused and steady in the midst of my days. I want to self lead myself to be on time, attentive to others, be laser focused on them when we're speaking, and I want my first response to be kindness, gentleness, and love. Yes, I'll probably have to take myself into my mind's conference room to keep striving to get it right, but like David, keep strengthening myself in the Lord my God, until I get it right.

Had Any Knee Jerk Reactions Lately?

Had Any Knee Jerk Reactions Lately?
I had a huge decision to make. "Should I say “yes” or should I say “no”. Should I stay or should I go?" Ever been faced with some tough decisions and rather than waiting to hear the voice of God, we just couldn’t sit idly still….we had to make a move. So, with a knee jerk reaction, we WENT.....only to realize we put the cart before the horse.....er.....rather, we put our ways before God's ways.

What happened to that instruction from our loving, all-knowing Father? ”Be STILL and KNOW that I am God!” (Psalm 46:10) We just couldn’t sit STILL long enough to get the plan from THE MAN. So we head out on our own. Someone came to my office last week and she told me she really made a mess of a situation and became quite disappointed in herself. She went to see her Mom and her downcast attitude caused her mother to say, “I know that look! So, you had to be in charge again, instead of letting God be charge?"

Oh, the messes we get ourselves into. During this season of my life, I am wading my way through options of saying “yes” or “no” and whether to stay or go. So, as any capable, deliberate, strong and able, “can do” gal would do, I just GO. After all, the light is green….. so I begin to move forward….aggressively, and then suddenly I’m overcome with a loss of peace, a troubled heart and thinking “What was I thinking?” I just couldn’t sit still long enough to listen for His voice. I just couldn’t wait for His voice to call me, instead, my “knee jerk” reaction propelled me into unknown territory with making even some regretful decisions.

Does that sound like a story familiar to you, too? But, here’s what I love about this faith journey we are on. Though I may start out my day as an independent, self-willed "can-do" woman, and I may get myself into some crazy circumstances that may come as a surprise to me, they are not a surprise to God. In spite of my knee-jerk reactions, my God is still my loving Father. And, like our kids who repeatedly do something that we’ve told them a hundred times not to do, we lovingly reel them back in with correction and help them through the mess they got themselves into.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11)

God’s character can be trusted. God delights in answering our prayers. Only, He doesn’t always answer how we think He should answer. I think I have great ideas about how my life should go. I think I know what is best, but then I remember that He knows better. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows what outcome will bring about His purposes. He wants to bless us with good things . . . health, wholeness, peace, joy, and rest. When I pray and I feel as though He is silent or not letting me in on the game plan, I have to trust that there is purpose to what He hasn’t told me. He doesn’t hide things from us to hurt us. He will allow me in on His plans in His perfect timing. His perfect timing is the timing that places us at the right place at the right time with what we need for ultimate blessings.

I have a line I use to help people when they have met up with some difficulty or challenge. “Nothing happens to us that doesn’t first go through His sovereign hands. We are no surprise to God.” It all matters to Him. He allows circumstances and consequences to come, especially when we have KNEE-JERK reactions. But thanks be to our loving Father, He gently jerks us back on course to help us finish the race we've started.