When God's Plans are Way Better than Ours

In 1986, we moved to Canada on a ministry mission. It was a 100% faith-venture for all of us, including my mom. We had no idea what the future would hold, but we knew Who held our future. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I’ll limit the adventures of the next seven years to this one story that helps explain that scripture in our lives and, perhaps, in yours. Our daughter had a huge Oklahoma basketball career ahead of her and was chosen for the Junior Olympics BB team. In Canada, women's basketball was not quite there yet, so good-bye basketball. (FYI - the girl's still got game!) 😉🏀

We realized this girl needed grooming after having been a basketball “jock” for many years. On the bench, she would sit with her legs spread apart. I would hand-signal her: "Close those legs!" We put her into modeling school to help with poise and stage presence. Someone noticed this bubbly, outgoing, singing-machine girl and recommended that she try out for the local Miss Teen Winnipeg Pageant. She did and went "all-in"! Within days of the pageant, the directors deemed she would be the sure winner so they disqualified her from the competition. The reason? Her southern drawl just didn't epitimoze a girl from "the Great North". Though she was a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada because of her dad’s Canadian citizenship, the ball dropped on her aspirations...again.

Her daddy (her coach and number one promoter) was steamed at the bias and prejudice against his girl. He was on his way to getting legal counsel when God reminded him of that scripture above. It was heart-wrenching at the time, but “oh the plans God had for her”. Not long after, an aunt called us and recommended that she try out for the David Foster Coca Cola World Chorus that would represent many countries at the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics. Staci was one of 8,500 Canadians chosen by David Foster to represent Canada. She went on to be a soloist at the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. The next year, at age 18, after training her voice to be less “southern”, she won the Miss Winnipeg Manitoba Pageant and won the talent portion of the Miss Canada Pageant,

I could go on and on about the doors that opened to our girl. Who knew that a huge step of faith would open so many doors? God did. It’s been years since those seven years of “Canadian plenty”, but I often find myself thinking about those years when my plans don’t unfold as I’d hoped. When I’m praying for open doors, yet they remain closed; when I’m pleading for a “yes,” but the answer is “no”; when I’m asking for change, but everything seems to stay the same. I remind myself of the truth that my daughter once learned: A frustrating “no” may be setting the stage for a forthcoming “yes.”

We have a loving Father who knows things we don’t. And sometimes, He needs to “wreck” our agenda in order to render His. It takes faith to believe that promise when life isn’t going as we’d expected. But I’m learning that we don’t need to know all of God’s ways to accept His will. We simply need to trust His heart. God is for us, not against us When we remember who God is, we can better embrace what He’s doing, even if He says “no.” Someday, when we look back at our lives through eternity’s lens, we’ll want to throw our arms around our faithful Father and say, “Thanks for spoiling my plans, Dad. Yours were even better!”

The "In His Image" Pageant

A couple of months ago, I posted a blog about a young lady from my church who was working on her Senior Year Project – an “In His Image” Pageant. What an absolute joy to see a young woman with her head and heart in the right place – desiring to influence her generation with helping others see the true meaning of beauty – inside and out. Her “In His Image” Pageant was to promote girls' inner beauty. Her explanation was “In today's society, with so much promoting women's outer beauty, girls need to know that they are special and beautiful just the way they are.”

Yesterday, Megan’s hard work paid off in royal fashion. Last week she met with the girls to work on the talent portion of her pageant. They decorated the letter “B” which stands for BEAUTIFUL. That’s who they are. Megan continued to impress upon them how beautiful they are. She held the main event at Burgundy Place, a Senior Citizen Apartment Complex, so what a delight for the residents to enjoy seeing those adorable girls. The message rang loud and clear. The girls were made to know THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.

From the moment I walked in, I could see, and only imagine, the untold hours Megan and her team put in to making this such a special event – not only for the young girls, ages 5 to 10, but to those of us who witnessed the completion of her huge undertaking. The decorations, the signage that conveyed her message in an outstanding way, and the theme “BEAUTIFUL” and we knew that she meant far more than outer beauty. One of the signs read “It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from inside you – the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear, and it is worth very much to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4. How’s that for a description of beauty that far surpasses what we hear about beauty in magazines and media?

Megan’s brother was her emcee and I might add, he did a great job – especially with the understanding that these young girls probably had never been before such a large crowd and the mere fact that they were front and center with all eyes on them, he helped them ease into their performance and do a great job.

The pageant's first category was dress wear and those cuties came out with their escorts – either their dads or brothers – some brothers weren’t exactly enthused about their role and you can tell it in some of these photos – LOL! Then, if that weren’t frightening enough, the girls answered questions like: “What is your favorite school subject? What do you want to be when you grow up? What animal do you like the best? What does the word “love” mean to you?” They were so sweet in their innocence and I’m quite sure they’ll never forget what “the stage” is like. Now they’ll have a reference – and it’s not near as bad as they might have thought it would be.

The next category was casual wear and out they came in their cute outfits and this time, on the screen were words that their parents used to describe them. Affirming and loving words that certainly described their daughter’s beauty and character from the inside out.

And finally, it was the sleepwear category and because each girl was a winner, they each received their “BEAUTIFUL” sash and crown.

I like to think that this effort, on Megan’s part, was all about instilling in these precious girls a real truth….that they are beautiful and as long as they know that they were made in the “image of God”, they’ll never, ever doubt it. I pray this seed that Megan planted into their lives over the course of this planning, practicing and debuting will blossom one day into confident, compassionate and caring young women. As a matter of fact, I think we all got that message – we are God’s masterpieces and we are ALL beautiful!

God's Timing is Perfect

Day 77 of Photo Inspirations -- #TBT -- God's Timing is Perfect
In 1998, my daughter, Staci, was a guest on a TV Show and so was 1996 Miss America, Shawntel Smith.  Staci's monthly newsletter, that month, included an interview with her.  Staci said, "This month, we met with an extraordinary lady whose winning attitude will inspire you to reach for your dreams:  SHAWNTEL SMITH,  Miss America 1996

STACI:  Did you have an ordinary upbringing?

SHAWNTEL:  I see my upbringing as pretty typical.  I grew up in a very small town, and was blessed with a family that went to church, and was strengthened throughout the years by having God as the center of our family.

STACI:  Were you always pretty growing up?

SHAWNTEL:  Well, Staci, I have red hair and freckles, and you are not the most popular person in the class when you have red hair and freckles, and you get teased a lot.  There were times I was very insecure and I felt very awkward.  I still don't consider myself as being pretty, but I think that God is able to show people what's inside of you -- what He has created so that they appear beautiful in other people's eyes, because you are His creation.  I was a typical kid -- awkward at times, and studied hard, worked hard.  I've worked pretty much my whole life.  My Dad had a furniture business, so the whole family pitched in, and helped out.  I did things from cleaning, all the way to selling furniture, marketing and doing the books.  So I grew up with a great work ethic, too!

STACI:  When you were growing up, did you say, "One day I'm going to be Miss America?"

SHAWNTEL:  Oh, no, no!  A lot of people look at Miss America and think that's the end-all, be-all, of a person's life.  They think, if they could become Miss America, then they've pretty much achieved everything.  But there are so many more things I want to achieve.  Of course, being Miss America was a definite stepping stone to get to where I want to be.  I started competing because my father was losing his furniture business.  When you have financial struggles in your family, you have to pull together, and you have to rely on the Lord to get you through it.  But, I wanted to go to college.  I was going to community college at that time, and I had to work for Dad, plus carry the hours at school, and I needed scholarship money.  My grades were great and the ACT was okay, but they weren't good enough to get the scholarship.  I had a girl friend that told me she was going to be in a pageant.  She said, "Shawntel, if you enter this pageant, you'll get $350 right off the bat.  You won't have to place or anything."  So I signed up and competed in the pageant.  I got 2nd runner-up, and got a year's free tuition scholarship.  It served me well.  I kept competing after that.  In fact, I competed for two years, maybe three or four competitions per year, and never won a pageant, but just gained so much scholarshp money and tuition scholarships, that I knew that's where I was supposed to be at that point in my life.  I still hadn't received the vision of becoming Miss Oklahoma or becoming Miss America.

STACI:  What do you say to young people who say, "I don't know what I want to do with my life."

SHAWNTEL:  I say, "Start with the desires of your heart.  You may not know how to get from Point A to Point B.  I told my Mom one night, "Mom, if the Lord would have given me the vision -- given me what I was going to become, and that I would be Miss America, I probably would have just laughed."  It was so far away from what I thought was humanly possible for me to do.  We have to tell kids to start removing the limitations that they've placed on themselves, and what they think they can accomplish, and start listening to God in the little things He tells them to do.  There's a master plan, and one day we will understand it.  But if we don't follow the little things in life that God gives us, we'll never get to that point.

STACI:  So did you face failures?

SHAWNTEL:  Most definitely.  For two years, I didn't win.  I just wanted the scholarship money.  But that third year, I really wanted to do well.  I wanted to win a pageant.  I won a local pageant.  I went to Miss Oklahoma and failed at that.  In fact, I failed three years in a row.  I felt like giving up, not doing it again, and turning my back on the whole thing, but I went on, and in the fourth year, I finally won.

STACI:  Is preparation important in achieving your goals?

SHAWNTEL:  Yes, if you're not willing to put in the work, you're not going to reap the reward.  And the rewards come from hard work.  I tell young people it took me six years to become Miss America.  They're just in awe when I tell them that.  They think success comes instantly.  I share with them, you need three things in life:  1)  FAITH:  you have to believe in yourself.  You must know beyond a shadow of  a doubt you will succed.  Also, you have to have God on your team, and allow Him to work through you, so you can be all you can be.  2)  FOCUS:  Bart Conner told me something valuable when I carried the torch for the Atlanta Games.  He said, "If I had not focused during the time of trying to attain those gold medals for the U.S. Team, I would never have won.  There were times when my body didn't want to go out one more day, and practice and rehearse, and go over the routines.  I did it because I knew my goal.  I knew that if I took my eye off it, it wouldn't be mine."  Same goes for me, if I would have given up, I wouldn't have become Miss America.  3)  FOLLOW THROUGH -- hard work, dedication and perseverence.  You must have all of this to make any dream become reality.

Staci concluded with these words:  "I'm delighted you could hear Shawntel's inspirational story.  Whatever it is you desire in life, whether it's a job promotion, a spouse, a child, financial increase, good health, or to be the next Miss America, it takes never giving up, holding onto your dreams, believing in yourself, and the abilities God placed within you, and believing that "With God, all things are possible!"  Thank you, Shawntel, for giving us such words of inspiration and encouragement!

And I, say, "Thank you, God, for divine set-ups, as the day would come in just a couple of years, that my son, Ryan, saw Shawntel in a Bath & Body Store in Woodland Hills Mall in Tulsa, waiting to check out.  He was in line behind her, and said, "Aren't you Shawntel Smith?  I think you know my sister, Staci Wallace!"  And the rest.....is history.....or better yet.....our present and our future.  Shawntel and Ryan were married in December, 2001.  Indeed, God's timing is PERFECT!  Trust in His perfect plan for your life.  Divine encounters take place every day!  Maybe your "dream come true" might be in one of those encounters!

It's Worth the Investment

Day 51 of Photo Inspirations – It's Worth the Investment!!
TBT – Throw Back Thursday – Like any “Stage” Mom, I was always on the lookout for any and every contest I could get my girl in.  I got “wind” of the Mrs. North Carolina Pageant and thought “Why not, my Girl?”   So, unbeknownst to her, I filled out an application and sent it in. Oops!  I really did mean to tell her….. eventually…..that is if her application was accepted.  LOL!

So, you can imagine her surprise when the call came from the Mrs. North Carolina Organization telling her she was accepted!  Now they wanted to interview her. Staci told them she had no idea what they were talking about. That’s when she realized her Mother must be up to something …….again.

Honestly, this was nothing new to her Daddy OR me.  We cultivated the talents of our little girl since she was two years old.    We knew we had a responsibility to express our thanksgiving for her by how we helped develop her God-given gifts.  We had her singing in every door that opened for her.  No matter what it was, we urged her to go for it.  I look back on those days and am amazed at all the places and achievements God blessed upon her – from winning many talent contests to singing on TV shows, in churches, musical theatre stages, to being asked to sing for the Olympics, regularly singing with a 24-piece orchestra, winning a $6,000 Talent Award at the Miss Canada Pageant (She was Miss Winnipeg, Manitoba) to her singing with presidents, motivational speakers and high profile athletes and entertainers.   This girl was BORN to use her talents on a platform that glorifies God.

When they moved to North Carolina, she was a mom of two little cuties and took a sabbatical from her singing and speaking career.  So… of course it was my duty to light a fire under the girl again.  I figured the Mrs. North Carolina Pageant would be the perfect opportunity – besides there were prizes to be won.

Initially, she didn’t take to the idea very well, but after she and Larry talked and prayed about it, they knew this was an opportunity for her to impact women with the importance of realizing their God-given destiny and purpose.  And, as many of you know….when this girl takes on a project…..she is relentless in her pursuit of reaching her goals.  She worked so hard to get her body toned and ready for the pageant.  I watched her self-discipline in achieving the goal as she lost the 13% body fat from having her babies and became an inspiration in health for us all.  What a blessing it was for us to watch as she was crowned Mrs. North Carolina with family and friends cheering her on.  It was a time to remember – and that’s what I’m doing today.

In the Mrs. America Pageant, she came in 4th Runner Up (I still think the judges were off-their-rockers to not have given her the crown– LOL!)   But when she arrived at the pageant, she said, “I don’t think I’m here to win a crown but to carry HIS crown of righteousness to these other ladies.”   And she did.  The greatest reward that week was that she led the woman who won Mrs. America, and eventually Mrs. World, to accept Jesus Christ as her personal Savior.   Five other women gave their life to the Lord at her prayer breakfast the day of the pageant.

THE THING wasn’t THE THING.  The pageant crown wasn't the prize.  I love how God works – He makes us think we’re on course for the best plan….but all along He has the MASTER PLAN in place.  And, as for those of you who ask “How did you get such motivated, outgoing, over-achieving children?”  We have always believed they were God’s gift to us –  we saw raising them as a role of stewardship.  We never had a  “wait and see” mentality over their talents but we understood that they were our most valuable assets and worthy of our most precious investment of time – a lot in time, support, and belief that they would be ALL God destined them to be.