When You See Someone’s Reality and It Jolts You

That moment when you offer a picture of your life so that others on social media might be able to grasp your reality? I know there are those who do that because they need prayer support, encouragement, and some motivation to keep on carrying on. No question, we all need encouragers. Oftentimes, when we think no one else has an idea what we're going through, God shows us someone else’s reality that is painstakingly worse than ours. It gives us pause and a reality check that others might also need our encouragement and support.

I saw a post by a precious mom, who really has had her hands and heart full for a very long time in the care of her 10-year old, very sick child who is still in diapers. Her post included an image of a huge stack of diapers. The post read: “Dear Jesus, I’m really tired of changing diapers. Love a very tired Momma."

Then, I saw comments: “I have 5 kiddos and "J" is still in them too. We should be diaper ambassadors.” Another mom said: “I honestly can’t imagine how many I have changed. Andrew is 15 and 2 other boys and now Kinsley, the past 2 years along, with Andrew still.” Then, another mom said: “I feel ya’, momma. When I hear someone complain about diapers, I laugh at them and tell them my oldest is 21 so I have been changing diapers for 21 straight years now. I haven't done the math though. LOL!" Yet, another mom said: “Well – I’ve been changing diapers since 1977. When my children were out of diapers, I was doing day care in my home. I figure there are worse things in the world than diapers. We’ve got this, my friends!”

That last gal showed up with beautiful sentiments -- not to mention such a positive, grateful outlook. The first mom replied to her “You take the award. I haven’t even been alive that long. No words, but I hope I get your positive outlook with time!“
While that post both touched me with empathy for those precious moms, it rang a bell that I hope we can all hear ringing! No matter how tough life is for us right now – there’s reason for gratitude, because, no doubt, there is always someone who is going through even tougher times. Really, in all times and situations, regardless how tough they are, there is Someone Who gets us and knows what we’re going through – whether it’s a hang-nail or loss of a job or a broken heart or caring for a bedridden loved one.

God’s premier self-description is “the compassionate and gracious God”. (Exodus 34:6) That means that both our pain and our prayers affect him, and He has us on his heart. He takes our burden on Himself and remembers us. As we imitate our Father, we should want to feel the burdens of others, too.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

So, we call, e-mail, post, track down the suffering at their home or church. We have them on our heart, and we want them to know it. So, for all of us on the outside looking in at hurting people, it’s up to us to say something. Do something and remember them. That is the basic idea. In the case of those precious women who were encouraging the first woman with their words at the first of this blog, I encourage you to carry on. You are valiant, loving and non-quitting – YOU ARE OUR HEROES.

Shhh! Please Don’t Say That!

I came out of the fitness center yesterday and saw a couple loading up their air mattresses and other swimming gear. They had been enjoying a Sunday afternoon of swimming and playing water volleyball. I commented: “Looks like you had fun in the sun" and the woman replied “Yes! It was such a beautiful day!” And to her comment, I said, “Well, enjoy it while it lasts because before long it will be snowing!” She returned: “Oh, please don’t say that!” And then I thought….for goodness sake, where did that come from? I just brought in a negative image into their otherwise beautiful day. That's just not like me!

I’m the one that is usually wanting to put my finger to people's lips and say "Shhh -- don't say that!" Especially when I hear them say things like “I’m so stupid", "I can just look at a cookie, and I gain weight", "I get a cold this time every year", "I could never win at that", "I’ll never be able to afford that", "I’m too old to do that", etc. And, you know what…..they will continue to get what they are saying and thinking. “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit" (1 Peter 3:10).

I am typically an optimistic thinker and speaker. I wasn’t born that way, but through conscious effort and repetition, it's now my mode of operation….usually, except for that “snow” remark yesterday. Can I blame it on a "senior moment"? In all seriousness, I anticipate happiness, good health and success, and I sincerely believe that I can overcome any obstacle and difficulty with a "can-do" attitude.

Optimistic and positive people really do experience happy feelings; their eyes are bright, they're almost always smiling, they have more energy and their whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even their health is affected in a positive way, and they walk tall, their voices are more powerful and their body language shows the way they feel.

Positive thinking and speaking is contagious, but so is negative thinking and speaking. We really can become optimistic and control and change our thoughts and what comes out of our mouths.. It’s like changing the channel on a TV – we see a program we don’t want to watch, so we change the channel. In the same way, when a negative thought comes to us, rather than continuing to think that negative thought….change the channel to something good and positive.

If we make a conscious effort to speaking positive, writing positive, reading positive, watching positive and take actions that make us feel positive, eventually, it will be second nature for us to shift any negative focus to positive. If we persevere, we will transform the way our mind thinks, as well as the beautiful things that will start coming our way. So, let’s start thinking before we speak. Those positive thoughts might produce the harvest we’ve been believing for!” Right Thinking. Right Words. Blessed Life!

Proverbs 18:4 “A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”

Lord, Please Make Me a Fountain – Not a Drain

I had an “aha” moment as I was adding water to the base of my children’s fountain. In these hot temperatures, the water evaporates quickly so it requires an occasional fill-up. I started thinking about how to be an unstoppable fountain of life and not a drain. Putting it into “people terms” – it’s striving to be a life-giver -- a positive encourager instead of a negative drainer.

I'm sure you can think of a few negative people who can take an intended joyful time and turn it into a draining time. They have difficulty finding the good in anything. We love them, but if we hang around them for very long, we sense our own joy draining. No doubt, they may have had some really negative stuff happen in their lives and it has impacted their heart and soul. We all have a past that tries to bind us, or maybe a present that insists on weighing us down and even a future that shows no glimmer of hope. But, no matter what – there is always the Source of Hope Who dwells within us if we are believers in our God of Hope. And, we want that for them, too!

We can’t always change our circumstances or our past, but we can change how we view our life as it moves forward. If we find ourselves facing life with dread, then I’d like to offer you a few of my personal habits that have served me well and kept my fountain overflowing instead of draining life out of me, as well as those in my sphere of influence.

~ Be positive. It can be a work-out, but when we do, it becomes second nature and it creates a fountain of life to others.

~ Count your blessings. Start right here to find your happy place. We woke up this morning. We were able to get up out of bed on our own. We have a place to live. We have food to eat. We have God Who loves us so much. Keep in mind there is always someone who has a much tougher time than we do!

~ Be hopeful. Hope is a wondrous thing. I’m passionate about this one because “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13.12). We all need to reach down inside for our child-like anticipation for the future. It's possible with God because He provides a hope that makes the heart healthy and filled with joy. God has our best interests at heart. God wants good things for us, plans to prosper us, and not harm us. Sometimes we slip-up or the world throws us a curve-ball, but it doesn’t change who He is. He is always good, and always desires good for us. That is always and forever a reason to have HOPE! Let's blow up that HOPE balloon and let it fly!

~ Surround yourself with positivity. We become those who we hang around if we let them. Sit with an incessant complainer and before long it’s natural to gravitate to their side and we are complaining about this and that, too. Hang out with life-givers and our fountain starts to overflow with life!

~ Encourage others. Who wants to be a drain that depletes others of their God-given inherent joy? Not me! I want to be a fountain-of-life encourager who speaks life. Positive words empower and energize others. Let’s fill up the fountain within us so it has a never-ending spring of Living Water flowing to those around us. God knows they may be going down for the last time in murky waters of unbelief and negativity. God may be sending out a 9-1-1 call for you and I to be His emergency "springs of living water" provider.

John 7:37-38 "Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

Staying Positive in a Negative World

After grocery shopping, I was stopped by a televsion reporter to ask me what I thought about the added traffic in our area -- just immediately North of our subdivision. Initially, I was reluctant to comment, but I could see I needed to speak a positive word in what could be a negative news report. She signaled her camera man and the interview began. (I sure wish I had freshened my lipstick before the camera started -- LOL!)

My subdivision is in West Tulsa, where it's been a relatively quiet area of town, but then, just North of us, two new shopping areas have been built. Now there's a vast array of restaurants, retail stores, large anchor stores, many services, financial and medical facilities, plus a 12-screen theater, so, this little "sleepy hollow" is now hopping.....and so is the traffic. It continues to increase with the popularity of all the many retail establishments that are available here.

This reporter was looking for negativity by the questions she asked, but she chose the wrong gal -- I'm from Dallas and this small amount of traffic pales in comparison. I told her that indeed the traffic had increased, but no problem to us. It's worth having all these amazing amenities so close by. And, for us, it means the property value of our homes has increased and we're close to where our shopping needs are met in a few minutes.

I responded to the reporter's questions for about 5 minutes with only optimism and so when my grandkids and I watched the 10 pm news to see what was aired, they were jumping up and down and laughing so hard to see their Nana on TV (they had seen the whole interview come down as they watched it from our car). And, we weren't surprised to only see a small snippet of what I said. I get that a lot of folks watch the news for controversial stories -- but I sure wish they'd report the positive stuff rather than so much negative.

Negativity breeds negativity. What should we do when we live in that world but want to stay positive? I'm so thankful that I purpose to look for the good in just about everything and here's what I do:

1) I protect myself from negative news. And in this political head bed, we DO need protection. While I want to stay up on current events, sometimes a headline is sufficient to grasp new developments.

2. I control the number of negative people in my life. I often spend time counseling and hearing people's problems. Some days are filled with more uplifting reports than others. However, I can carefully select how much time I spend with those who are intent on being negative. My frame of mind and my attitude is dependent on what I allow into my mind -- good or bad.

3. I love to listen to uplifting Christian music in my car and home. With just a click on an app on my phone, I can be transported to a place of joy, peace, and thanksgiving.

4. I practice gratitude. Appreciating life and its many blessings puts me in a cheery mood that really helps when I'm in traffic or standing in a long line at a store. That gratitude makes me want to encourage others -- calling or emailing them with an encouraging word. Random acts of kindess goes a long way in turning a negative world into a positive one.

5. I pray randomly all day: "Thank you, God, for that green light. Thank you, God for that parking space." And whether it's in traffic or a line at the store -- I use that time as a reminder to have a little conversation with THE ONE who isn't surprised by the delays. No doubt, it's a part of His Master Plan.

There's blessings and beauty everywhere -- it's possible to stay positive in a negative world when we look for it.

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8

Faith Talk

Yesterday I posted "Keep your words soft and sweet....because tomorrow you might have to eat them". That is so true, and to take it a step further.... keeping our words positive and encouraging is equally as important to us and to others. People often ask me "What's the secret to all that energy and enthusiasm you have?" The answer is "Faith Talk". I practice it regularly. Actually, like others, there's always reasons to complain, be discontented, to worry, to feel rejected, misunderstood, or to be sad. But, oh my goodness, there's so many more reasons to turn those negative thoughts and words on their heels, and replace them with those affirmative, positive, life-changing words that have the potential of altering the course of my day, my family and friends' day, too. Our words become thoughts, thoughts become actions AND attitude.

The words we use, whether it’s when speaking with others or the self talk that we say to ourself, impact our thoughts and our thoughts greatly affect our actions. And when we take that one step further, we’re reminded that our actions become our habits. In other words, our habits begin with our self talk and what we say to others.

Choosing "Faith Talk" over "I Can't" talk moves us into a "sweet spot" that draws good things to us. And, it's just not the "talk", it's the walk -- the walk of confidence, joy, energy, enthusiasm and the I CAN attitude. I know in my life, this has been the case. It's the kind of talk that says things like "God is bigger AND I’m bigger than this obstacle.” It's almost like being plugged into an energy machine when we talk this talk. It puts a spring in our step. We see sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, we'll live in the month of May. Hmmm....I'm singing "My Girl" -- LOL!

Seriously, I know from experience how powerful our words can be, and I also know from experience, that our words can determine our world. Let's make a habit of speaking "Faith Words". If our mouth fills our heart with words of faith when we don't need it; then our heart will fill our mouth with words of faith when we do need it!

"For out of the abundance of his heart, a man (or woman) speaks." Luke 6:45

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." Proverbs 18:21

Affirmative & Positive OR Negative & Pessimistic

Last week, a friend's FB post reminded me of how important it is to speak affirming and encouraging words to our children and grandchildren.  And, it shouldn't stop there -- speaking optimistic and uplifting words to everyone around us has the potential to change the course of someone's day, even their life.

Lots of wisdom here from my friend, Dan Lillpop​, in his recent post:
"This morning, as is often the case, I was feeling a bit reflective. I thought about how often we, as parents, "prophesied" to our children when they were growing up. We would say things like: 'You're going to fall!'  'You're gonna' get sick!'  'You'll miss your bus!'  'You're going to get into trouble!'

I am sure you can think of many others, but the point is, we could have, and should have, done so much better. Not that there are not times when we should have made such statements, but we should also have included such statements as: 'You're going to make it!'  'You can do it!'  'I believe in you!' 'You are special!' 'You have what it takes!' 'You're perfect just the way you are.'

My 3 boys are all grown now, and I can't go back and change how I spoke to them, but I can encourage my grandchildren into greatness, by helping them to unpack all of their potential. I want to be a spark that ignites a great passion in their lives.  As a grandpa, I'm still going to "prophesy", but now I want to prophesy success and good things. I want to help my grandchildren to become the best people they can be!  And hey! I want to also speak good things to my sons,  and for that matter, to all with whom I come into contact.  Let's "prophesy" some good stuff today!"

Honestly, Dan spoke my heart in his words. The simplest things we might say and do, which, though seemingly ordinary, carry an immense weight in telling our children they are loved, cared for, and valued.  Do you remember those childhood experiences when you sensed the approval of a parent, a teacher or loved one?  The ultimate Father figure we have is Father God, and it would behoove us to follow His example in affirming our children and others.  Take a look at the example He sets from His Word.  He gives...

An arm over the shoulder or an embrace in a time of disappointment or fear (see Deuteronomy 33:27)

A pat on the back or a firm steadying hand at a crucial moment (see Psalm 139:5)

A whisper in the ear, giving quiet assurance or secret instructions (see Isaiah 30:21)

A snug tucking in bed when surrounded by the darkness of night (see Psalm 127:2-3)

But the most affirming are those blessings that come in our words: words that affirm and approve; words that commend and compliment;  words that specifically speak love and affection; words that invoke hope and self-confidence; and  words that answer pain and disappointment with support and faith.

May our words and actions bring light and life to our family and our world today.

Think Before You Speak

Oh, how I want to put my finger to people's lips and say "Shhhh -- don't say that!" when I hear then say things like “I’m so stupid", "I can just look at a cookie, and I gain weight", "I get a cold this time every year", "I could never win at that", "I’ll never be able to afford that", "I’m too old to do that", etc. And, you know what…..they will continue to get what they are saying and thinking.

I am an optimistic and quite experienced, positive thinker. I wasn’t born that way, but through conscious effort and repetition, it's now, my mode of operation. In all seriousness, I anticipate happiness, good health and success, and I sincerely believe that I can overcome any obstacle and difficulty. Optimistic and positive people really do experience happy feelings; their eyes are bright, they're almost always smiling, they have more energy and their whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even their health is affected in a positive way, and they walk tall, their voices are more powerful and their body language shows the way they feel.

Positive thinking is contagious, but so is negative thinking. And, my heart is to inspire others to stop having stickin’ thinkin’. Thinking positively and speaking positively really works. We really can control and change our thoughts. It’s like changing the channel on a TV – we see a program we don’t want to watch, so we change the channel. In the same way, when a negative thought comes to us, rather than continuing to think that negative thought….change the channel to something good and positive. Those who think themselves a failure or unworthy of success and live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, will encounter stumbling blocks, closed doors, being late to appointments because of losing their keys, and other distractions that will keep them from succeeding.

But, if we make a conscious effort to speaking positive, writing positive, reading positive, watching positive and take actions that make us feel positive, eventually, it will be second nature for us to shift any negative focus to positive. It doesn't matter what our circumstances are at the present moment. If we think positively, expect favorable results, then our situations and circumstances will change. If we persevere, we will transform the way our mind thinks, as well as the beautiful things that will start coming our way. So, let’s start “THINKING BEFORE WE SPEAK”. Who knows? Those positive thoughts just might produce the harvest we’ve been believing for!”