God Only Knows What You’ve Been Through

I've had many eye-opening moments during the last couple of weeks, trying to analyze all that has happened since the grave injustice that most of us have witnessed on media by now. It’s the middle of the afternoon and I’m just now writing this blog unlike those I typically comprise earlier in the day. Not this day. I am soul-searching. My own soul-searching.

I hear this song by For King and Country during my walk this morning. It kick-offs my soul-search. I think about those over many years who have been mistreated, abused, mocked, and rejected – simply because they are of another race, color, or nationality – and they’ve held it in. This song's words may define those with built-up emotions of pain, fear and anger and they believe no one understands, but God does:

God only knows what you've been through.
God only knows what they say about you.
God only knows how it's killing you.
But there's a kind of love that God only knows.
God only knows what you've been through.
God only knows what they say about you.
God only knows the real you.
There's a kind of love that God only knows.

To a diverse group of women on a Zoom-cast call Tuesday night, I asked for forgiveness for my naivety as to think because there are so many black entertainers, sports figures, pastors, politicians and high-profile leaders that prejudice and racism must be a thing of the past. The past that I knew as a child and teenager when we rode the bus at the front instead of the back where the black folk sat. The past when we whispered “Look, black people are trying to eat here” at Kip’s Big Boy Restaurant. The past when my South Oak Cliff High School was segregated until my 1966 senior year when the Dallas ISD was forced to desegregate its high schools. I remember hearing the “n” word way too many times. The fact is – many of those young people in major cities rioting and looting are the children and grandchildren of generations of suffering and injustice. Tuesday night, I openly repented to God and my sisters for the past and the present. I committed to having more empathy, mercy and love for all my brothers and sisters.

A dear black sister-in-Christ and I have texted and encouraged each other daily for the last two months. Not once did I think of her as having been one who might have been the object of racism. But I asked her: “Has your family suffered prejudice and discrimination?” I was taken back when she shared that her family has been threatened, disrespected, physically abused, and many other instances of mistreatment that she refuses to dwell on. This gentle and kind woman said, “I just say in my heart: ‘I forgive you; you know not what you are doing. I compare with back home (another country), we never treat people this way; we embrace; we wholeheartedly accept other people of other nationalities. Why is it different here? Why can’t people just accept one another? Why can’t genuine love exist between all human beings as God intended it to be? It isn’t fair to hate anyone. The person you hate today, may be the one to save your life tomorrow or be a blessing to you tomorrow as God wills it."

I’ve read posts of many other friends of color who have opened up and described their realities and their children's realities. I believe it’s a time of reckoning; a time of true repentence by all God’s children to ask for forgiveness of passivity, of closing our eyes, of sweeping racism and prejudice under the rug. It is truly time to humble ourselves and pray and ask God to forgive us for carelessness, thoughtlessness and blindness to humanity.

Jesus was anything but racist. He went out of His way to minister to a woman from Samaria (the outcast group of the times). He loved her so completely, that she ran to her town and told everyone about this Man – and the whole town came to believe in Him. Maybe that is what God is placing on our shoulders – to go out of our way to make amends, to love the hurting, take up for anyone who is marginalized and misused in any way AND to humbly pray for each other. Love is the answer. Following the example of Jesus -- to love as He loved and His bold example of being a difference maker.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

When God's Plans are Way Better than Ours

In 1986, we moved to Canada on a ministry mission. It was a 100% faith-venture for all of us, including my mom. We had no idea what the future would hold, but we knew Who held our future. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I’ll limit the adventures of the next seven years to this one story that helps explain that scripture in our lives and, perhaps, in yours. Our daughter had a huge Oklahoma basketball career ahead of her and was chosen for the Junior Olympics BB team. In Canada, women's basketball was not quite there yet, so good-bye basketball. (FYI - the girl's still got game!) 😉🏀

We realized this girl needed grooming after having been a basketball “jock” for many years. On the bench, she would sit with her legs spread apart. I would hand-signal her: "Close those legs!" We put her into modeling school to help with poise and stage presence. Someone noticed this bubbly, outgoing, singing-machine girl and recommended that she try out for the local Miss Teen Winnipeg Pageant. She did and went "all-in"! Within days of the pageant, the directors deemed she would be the sure winner so they disqualified her from the competition. The reason? Her southern drawl just didn't epitimoze a girl from "the Great North". Though she was a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada because of her dad’s Canadian citizenship, the ball dropped on her aspirations...again.

Her daddy (her coach and number one promoter) was steamed at the bias and prejudice against his girl. He was on his way to getting legal counsel when God reminded him of that scripture above. It was heart-wrenching at the time, but “oh the plans God had for her”. Not long after, an aunt called us and recommended that she try out for the David Foster Coca Cola World Chorus that would represent many countries at the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics. Staci was one of 8,500 Canadians chosen by David Foster to represent Canada. She went on to be a soloist at the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. The next year, at age 18, after training her voice to be less “southern”, she won the Miss Winnipeg Manitoba Pageant and won the talent portion of the Miss Canada Pageant,

I could go on and on about the doors that opened to our girl. Who knew that a huge step of faith would open so many doors? God did. It’s been years since those seven years of “Canadian plenty”, but I often find myself thinking about those years when my plans don’t unfold as I’d hoped. When I’m praying for open doors, yet they remain closed; when I’m pleading for a “yes,” but the answer is “no”; when I’m asking for change, but everything seems to stay the same. I remind myself of the truth that my daughter once learned: A frustrating “no” may be setting the stage for a forthcoming “yes.”

We have a loving Father who knows things we don’t. And sometimes, He needs to “wreck” our agenda in order to render His. It takes faith to believe that promise when life isn’t going as we’d expected. But I’m learning that we don’t need to know all of God’s ways to accept His will. We simply need to trust His heart. God is for us, not against us When we remember who God is, we can better embrace what He’s doing, even if He says “no.” Someday, when we look back at our lives through eternity’s lens, we’ll want to throw our arms around our faithful Father and say, “Thanks for spoiling my plans, Dad. Yours were even better!”