What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

Yesterday, we had another wonderful sing-a-long at the front yard of Tim and LaDonna Gatlin Johnson. Still assembled in our 6-foot rule spacing, we clapped and sang together to some of the best old hymns. Tim, an incredible pianist, gave us a concert in "Liberace" style!

Most beautiful were the testimonies of God’s amazing grace. Tim touched us with his story of surviving cancer in all of his lymph nodes many years ago. Tim and LaDonna became stronger in their faith and trust in God’s faithfulness more than ever before. What didn’t kill Tim, made him stronger.

I can speak a similar story – through the illnesses of my children, myself, and my husband’s illnesses and passing – I became stronger than I ever thought possible.

Pictured again here is the after-shot of the tornado that my father and mother-in-law went through. What didn’t kill them made them stronger and even greater good did God do through them. That property was sold to a young couple. She saw my blog and commented: “Thanks for sharing the pictures. I especially recognized the after-tornado picture. Since then, that property has been home to over 100 foster children in DHS, home to 7 different family groupings needing a safe place for a season, home to International Bible University, Westport Gathering and our home where we have raised our family including two grandchildren now. So appreciate and love the history your family established here. Love all of you.”

The quote: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" dates back over 100 years ago to Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philosopher. He believed that if one can persevere through the difficult times and trials of life, the end result can often be a strengthening of character and endurance.

But I think it goes back even further. The Apostle Paul explained it well after he and his friends had endured horrible events like being whipped 29 times, beaten with rods, and left for dead after being buried under a pile of rocks: "We have this treasure from God, but we are only like clay jars that hold the treasure. This is to show that the amazing power we have is from God, not from us. We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We often don't know what to do, but we don't give up. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9

The people I respect most have not had easy lives. They are the people who faced adversity and didn't give up. They were transformed by grace. It's really not what doesn’t kill us that makes us stronger, but God’s grace in the face of our struggles that makes us stronger. And through that grace, in the most difficult of times, we find endurance. And in that endurance, we find character. And it is that character that gives us hope.

This unparalleled COVID-19 season has been a rough time for so many, but those of us who are resilient in these times will come out stronger than we’ve ever been before. I’m counting on hearing story after story of the determination of those who kept their faith intact and the grace of God that made them stronger, wiser and more grateful than ever before.

Turning our Cocoons into Divine Preparation

In my interactions with friends and family lately, I’ve been referring to this time of isolation as “being in a cocoon”. I sense that we are growing in our gratitude and being made over mentally in ways that are so good for us. I saw this on a friend’s FB page yesterday. It confirmed what I had been thinking:

“TRAFFIC is gone, GAS is affordable, BILLS extended.
KIDS are at home with their FAMILIES.
PARENTS are home taking care of their CHILDREN.
FAST FOOD replaced by HOME COOKED MEALS.
Hectic SCHEDULES replaced by NAPS, REST, and RELAXATION.
The AIR seems CLEANER. The WORLD quieter.
PEOPLE are conscious about HYGIENE and HEALTH.
MONEY doesn't seem to make the world go round any more.
We have TIME, finally, to STOP and SMELL the ROSES.
And lastly, We've become closer to THE MOST HIGH and more praising HIM every day of our LIVES. Yes, I want this to be over but there is some positive in this.”

Eye opening for sure. I’ve been through some painful seasons when it felt like I was in an uncomfortable cocoon. It seemed God had a deaf ear to my heart cries. The seasons of financial concerns, illnesses, disappointments, broken relationships, family deaths – including, my own precious husband’s passing. I was in the cocoon during those times – going through what seemed to be personal death, but, God was using those seasons to instill in me hope, trust and belief that He was in control, and that He was creating a butterfly that could soar further and higher than I could have imagined.

It was in those dark seasons that my faith grew stronger. No question -- the cocoon WAS painful. But were it not for that dark season and the changes made in me, I would have never known the joy, freedom and beauty of flying to such heights today.

Hold on, my beloved children and friends. Soon, we will be breaking out of these cocoons. Count on it -- when we are free again, we will not be ashamed to dance in the rain, to celebrate each new day with the wonderment of a child, to laugh at ourselves, to value each other more than ever before, to look in the mirror and see LIFE being lived to its fullest again.

Soon, this dark cocoon will be in our past. We’ll realize that it was worth the stillness and death and preparation for the wings we were given to fly higher than we’ve ever flown before. We’ll soon break free from this isolation and we’ll never take so much for granted ever again. Before long, we'll be spreading our wings to fly and we'll start flying AND dancing again.

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11

Moms! Let it Go and Let it Grow!

I'm sitting at my desk in Radiology at Children's Hospital and hear playing "Let it Go" on the tv monitors in the waiting room. How many times have I heard that song from "Frozen" and from messages I've heard about letting unnecessary stuff go?

But, this day, I'm thinking about Mother's Day and from what I've learned, "What would I tell my 18-year-old self when I first became a young mom?" I would tell her: "You may be new at this but practice makes perfect so LET IT GROW!"

I wasn't athletically inclined. No sports for me. Though I wanted to be "that" girl who stood out and won awards for her team, I didn't even try to go there. But, athleticism kicked in for me many years later when I started running. I learned that God made our bodies in a way that we can't expect to be an athlete with only an "I wish I could" mentality. Years ago, a group of us walked the 5K in honor of my husband who couldn't walk at all. After that, my son's marathon trainer said: "Your son's long, athletic legs came from you! It's time for you to start running!" At first, I thought she was kidding or crazy, but before long I started training. It started with building endurance. Then I was ready to run a mile. The first day I walked and ran, the next day I walked a little faster, and eventually, I could run a mile. Before long, I was ready to run my first 13.5-mile half-marathon.

I wish someone would have told me about endurance in motherhood! It takes endurance, practice, work, consistency, and exhaustion to grow into mothering with wisdom and maturity and grace and gentleness. I found the more I practiced, the stronger I became, step by step, slow and steady, learning, doing, listening to older moms, staying closely knit with the Lord and relying on His Holy Spirit, the better I got.

There is a reason Scripture talks about older women teaching younger women (Titus 2:4-5) to keep on and that's what this older woman is saying to you today, precious moms! You are NOT failing! It takes time and work and sweat and tears. When I say, it gets better, I don’t just mean it gets easier because your kids sleep and are more self-sufficient (although sleep is awesome). It gets better because you get better. You mature. You grow in grace. You are acting out of what you have been given by God. You have been molded and tested, and if you keep on, you will make it. So get your running shoes, pace yourself (oh my goodness, pace yourself), and keep on. You are NOT failing! I'm not saying "Let it go". I am saying "Let it grow!" You're not alone. God is cheering you on and so am I!

James 1:2-4 confirms what God is telling us: "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So LET IT GROW for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

The Power of Adversity

I’m taking a little “Nana” moment to celebrate my grandson’s winning 1st Place in his Original Oratory Speech at the NCFCA National Championships this weekend. Out of 1000s of students from 45 states, competing in 65 preliminary tournaments, 500 students made it to Nationals. Payton's win is truly a tribute to his diligence, hard work, and relentless attitude. The win comes with scholarships offered and afforded him the opportunity to deliver the speech after the competition to over 1,500 people. I was blessed to be able to watch it LIVE, thanks to technology! I am always a proud Nana of my grandchildren, and this just added another notch on my “pride and joy” belt. Beyond the pride, however, was the speech he gave that truly described his own story of overcoming adversity and helping others to realize that adversity can be a friend to those who recognize God’s way of building our character and our ability to overcome and come out as a conqueror.

“The Power of Adversity” was the topic of this speech. In it, Payton talked about the tension and adversity that we encounter and the more we experience, the better the trajectory of the potential of success in our future. He used the analogy of his Toys R Us bow and suction-cup arrow, as a child, which did well to kill his “refrigerator bad guy”, but it paled in comparison to the real bow and arrow that his dad bought him, set the tension to Payton’s ability and he soon learned this arrow could fly three times further because of that tension.

He went on to point out world changers and history makers like Thomas Edison whose teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything. And, Abraham Lincoln who failed in business, marriage, politics and suffered the loss of his two sons before becoming the President of the United States. Every adversity these leaders experienced increased their patience, their knowledge and their ability to create history. Payton quoted Walt Disney “All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

Payton went into his own story of adversity. In the same year: his Papa died from cancer, his dog died, and he was being bullied at school. He said, as he pointed out his thin body, “I’m not the most athletic kid but I sure wanted to play football and fit in with the other guys.” Instead of helping him, they bullied him and the abuse only got worse and the verbal hatred got louder. The words spoken over him replayed like a broken record in his mind – “too skinny, you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never be good at anything”. With many hilarious, self-deprecating moments throughout his speech, his message was clear: "When adversity comes, like the storm that came up while Jesus was asleep in the back of the boat, let it be that storm that takes you to the other side”.

Payton’s speech resonated with me too. We all have defining moments that either make or break us. Whatever those moments are, God will use them for our good. Our destiny and purpose are wrapped up in each and every adversity that comes our way. It's that "stuff" that causes the aha moments -- those moments that seemed like the worst of worst times but were actually the turbo boost to propel us to where we were meant to be. The times of adversity either make us stronger and cause us to have the "warrior mentality" or we succumb to the pressure and throw in the towel and have the "pull-the-blanket-over-the-head mentality". One makes us stronger and leads to success and the other causes us to quit and leads to failure stories. They're either stories that said "I pushed through to victory" or "I gave up and quit. IF ONLY....I had persisted." From Abraham Lincoln to Thomas Edison to Payton Wallace, great leaders and achievers push themselves beyond the point of failure and take a step back to re-evaluate why they started the journey in the first place. Even when their body or mind told them to quit, they dug deep and pushed through the adversity.

My parting paragraph is Payton’s final words from his speech. I pray these words to speak to your heart:

“I don’t know what you’re going through today. Maybe you’re facing financial adversity, a broken relationship, or even if you’re just like me….you look in the mirror and you feel inferior and worthless. Jesus is in the back of the boat with you. He has a way of using every adversity and every difficulty to propel you to the other side of your breakthrough. Now, personally, I’ve grown to fight greater enemies than my refrigerator and I know that God uses every adversity in my life to prepare me and propel me to become a leader worth following. The same is true for each and every one of you. Adversity is not your enemy. Tension is not your foe. Instead, embrace it. Peace isn’t the absence of adversity. Peace is the confidence in knowing that all things – even the seemingly worst things -- work together for good when you put your faith and trust in God.”