What Do You Do When You Don't Know What to Do?

Day 177 of Photo Inspirations -- What Do You Do When You Don't Know What to Do?
I take my daily FB postings very seriously. Throughout the day I pay attention to people, places and things that could potentially be the inspiration for me. It wasn’t that my day was boring or didn’t have some great times with friends, but I just didn’t FEEL IT like I typically do.

So, what do I do when I don’t know what to do?  The first thing is I pray. That’s what I did yesterday. I prayed and said, “What do I do when I don’t know what to do?”  And it hit me, that prayer is what my post is supposed to be for today – responding to that question.

I recall a very specific day when we asked that question.  We had just received the diagnosis from my husband’s doctor:  “You have Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma that has metastasized to a tumor that is impinging on your spinal cord.  It’s a life or death matter.  You must have immediate surgery or you could be paralyzed.”  Ron, my husband, being an in-charge guy, and not moved by anxiety or concern, declined the offer for the surgery. He wanted to research what he’d been told, get a second opinion, seek counsel and take his time. But the doctor was insistent on aggressively moving forward.  So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?   PRAY.  We prayed for God’s wisdom, His strength, His guidance, and most of all, His peace.  We needed peace that day like we had never needed it before.

At the same time, we were speaking words from God's Word:  "Our God, our Healer.  He is our Prince of Peace.  By His stripes we are healed.  We trust in you, God. We will not be afraid.”

Then, we sought Godly counsel from our children, and had a family meeting via phone.  We prayed for discernment of God’s best wishes for the course of action we should take. After prayer, each of us expressed our confidence in God as our Great Physician.  After hearing that each of us had peace about the Tulsa medical team of physicians that we had been directed to so far, and that it was apparent that we should not wait as we had been instructed, Ron said, “Okay, let’s do it! Call the doctor!” We did and within the next 48 hours, he had the surgery and it was successful.

Over the next 7 months, when the questions came again, we repeated the same steps:  Pray, Speak the Word, Seek Godly counsel, pray some more.  We found that we were closer to God during this time of crisis because we were acutely aware of our desperate need for Him.  And quite frankly, that’s a great place to be. In Him, we found the answers to our questions.

The answer to this question and many more:  “Where can I turn when there's no one else I can turn to?  Who can I talk to when no one wants to listen?  Who can I lean on when there’s no one to lean on?  Where can I hide until the storms pass over?  The answer to all of these questions is found in ONE SIMPLE TRUTH.  We go to Him who is our solid rock, our refuge, our shelter, our friend.  That’s WHO, WHAT, WHEN and WHERE to ALL questions we have for our todays and our tomorrows.

Take a Deep Breath, Chill and Relax....God Has Got This!

Day before yesterday, I had the privilege of waiting with a dear friend as her husband was in back surgery by the same Neuro Surgeon and in the same hospital, that my sweetheart was in four years ago. I had a flood of memories as we set there, and I reminisced to my friend about this one. I think it bears repeating to encourage us all to “chill and relax” during times of overwhelming concern and worry.

We found out my husband had to have another emergency surgery to, once again, remove the tumor that had returned on his vertebrae and was impinging on his spinal cord. It was then that I grabbed Karen's hand (Ron's sister) and said "Let's go for a walk!" (You know, like Joshua marching around the walls of Jericho.) As we did, we prayed for God to station His angels around the hospital, for God's healing touch to Ron, and for wisdom and knowledge to our medical team. As we made our 6th round, we noticed lying on the grass at the corner of the hospital grounds was a Mama cat and her baby. They watched us intently, and unlike wild cats, they never flinched. Immediately, we could sense God saying to us "Just like these cats….. RELAX – be in peace -- I am with you! Enjoy the journey." We made our final, and 7th round, and just as we had not seen the cats in rounds one to five, they were gone on the 7th, but those words resonated within us. We came back to the hospital room and Ron, our daughter, and her husband were singing and praising God for the answer we knew He would give us the next morning. We went to sleep that night….completely at peace….knowing that God would be orchestrating the plans for the next day. And, He most certainly did.

What is weighing heavy on your heart today? What troubles loom above you like dark clouds? If it’s possible, go for a little walk and have a talk with He Who knows everything about everything – give the cares to Him. He knows what tomorrow holds, so why not allow Him to orchestrate the details? In the meantime, take a deep breath, chill, and RELAX…..God has got this!

Aboard Our Hospital Cruise Ship

Several years ago, while we were on the 2nd day of a cruise to the Southern Caribbean, we were just about to retire for the night, when all of a sudden, the lights on the ship began to flicker and then we heard, and felt, the engines come to a fast stop. It was a dramatic sight as people ran to their cabins to get their life jackets. Fear seemed to permeate the passengers. We know many were thinking…. "TITANIC!!!!" On the other hand, Ron and I, completely calm since this was not our first cruise, moved through the passengers to encourage, settle down and help the crew bring peace to the situation. Yes, we had alarming news and even the loss of many vital necessities aboard the ship became cause for anxiety and discouragement. Sparing the details, I'll tell you our cruise ended the next day because the ship's engine had caught fire and as the ship was towed to Montego Bay (150 miles away), several 747 jets awaited to take the 1,500+ guests back to our home destinations. Many people were so upset about the inconvenience and that their cruise had ended so abruptly, but Ron and I kept thinking "something good is going to come out of this". And, indeed it did -- not only did we obtain a full refund for that cruise, but we were given an 8-day cruise for free on the ship and time of our choice. In addition, when we took the next cruise, our flights were overbooked on both legs, so we chose to receive the flight dollars to delay to the next flight -- we received over $1,800 in flight dollars.

So here we are aboard our "Hospital Cruise Ship". When Ron had his back surgery in April, we took ourselves out of the "hospital" mindset while he was recovering, and let our minds imagine ourselves on another cruise. When Ron's dinner tray would come to our room (which we called "our cabin"), we'd have soft music playing and we would share the meal at a table in the room….and later we'd imagine walking the "Promenade Deck" as Ron needed to get his strength back by walking the halls of the hospital. But this trip to the hospital has been very different. One of the nurses, who was our nurse previously, remembered us and asked if we were on the cruise ship again, and my response was "No, not this time -- the waters have been way too rough and the storms have been raging way too much!"

We were admitted to the hospital last Wednesday, July 14th, because of the severe back pain that Ron was experiencing. He began to run 104 degrees temperature and the next day we found out that he had a serious staph infection coming from the original surgery site that would take weeks of treatment. But that was only the beginning. As the tests started to come back that the infection was improving, other symptoms and concerns began to arise, and the pain still continued to increase. As Ron would walk to the wash room, we noticed that his legs had weakened and became rubber-like -- and on three occasions he crumpled to the ground. Immediately, the neuro surgeon scheduled him for a milogram to determine if he had spinal cord compression again (as was in the first surgery in April, yet without neurological symptoms). In addition, lab tests came back showing his creatinine level (which measures the kidney function) was at 4.9 -- our physician came in and said, "He is in kidney failure!" And to add to the negative news, that evening we were told the results of the milogram, "Indeed his spinal cord is being compressed by a tumor that has reappeared on the T-11 vertebrae and there must be immediate emergency surgery to prevent paralysis." Suddenly, we were hearing…."TITANIC!!!" In the natural, it would be so easy to run to get our life jackets and be overcome with panic and fear, because, after all, his body is not in the same strong physical shape that it was in during the first surgery in April. Now, he has only one kidney, no gall bladder or adrenal gland; he is recovering from staph infection and we have been told he has signs of anemia. But, we continue to refuse to live in a state of alarm -- instead we dialed 9-1-1 (that is: Psalms 91:1 -- "He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.") We find that place by our trust and confidence in our Maker -- knowing that He has a plan in place and our part is to seek peace in the midst of the storm. The neuro surgeon left our room, fully expecting to perform the surgery the next day (yesterday -- Friday) if the lab reports were good, and we told him we would know the next morning what God's plan would be by the peace in our hearts. As a family, once again, we prayed, we worshipped God, we sang, and we celebrated the gift of knowing that tomorrow morning, we'd be right in the middle of God's plan. Friday morning came -- Ron's legs were stronger, he looked good, but lab results were not in yet that tell the team if he is ready for the surgery. The doctor's schedule was full with a surgery at St. John's at 7 a.m. and a day of patients to see coming in from all over the state. So the delay and the schedule were our first signals that haste should give way to rest in peace this weekend and get stronger to take on the surgery next week -- especially since our primary neuro surgeon will be back to Tulsa after being out of the country for two weeks. So that's what will happen….and oh, by the way, the lab work did come in and his creatinine level was down to 1.6 today -- normal!!! Thanks be to God!

Today, Saturday, is our son's birthday -- what a great surprise we received when, flying in from Seattle, Ryan, Shawntel and the boys walked into our room last night. Ryan said "There's no place I'd rather be on my birthday, than with my Dad". God did have a plan for this "hospital cruise" -- He knew our children and grandchildren would be here today to enjoy each other, laugh and celebrate. Yes, our "hospital cruise" continues for an extended voyage next week when we will move forward to another phase of our faith journey. Please pray for God's wisdom to our medical team, Ron's body to be fully capable of handling yet another surgery, and that all issues that have shown up in his body become normal. Thank you so much for your love and prayers. Your words of encouragement, your offers to help, and your sincere best wishes have been a true source of comfort to us! Happy sailing and cruising to you and we look forward to seeing you all very soon when we disembark at our Home Port of Call!

Our Chief Surgeon!!!

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Those are the words (God's words) that rang in my heart many times in the last 2-1/2 months since first receiving the news and diagnosis that Ron, my precious husband of 43 years, has renal cell carcinoma cancer and that he was facing the risk of paralysis if we did not immediately have a tumor that was compressing his spinal cord removed. That surgery, on April 12th, was very successful! Then we learned of another tumor that was in another vertebrae and, subsequently, had cyber knife radiation to destroy that tumor. Of course, the main tumor culprit was in his kidney, so this week, that surgery took place.

Ron's sister, Karen, gave us this beautiful picture of Jesus guiding the surgeon's hands. That is the mindset we've maintained throughout this journey. Prior to each of these surgeries, Ron has held the hands of the surgeons and prayed that God, our Chief Surgeon's hands, would be directing our surgeons' hands. And with each surgery and procedure, we believe we are moving one step closer to total healing. As I said at the beginning of this blog, finding that place of peace -- not fearing the path that laid before us, but trusting God for His unfailing plan to be in place in our lives has been our focus. That has been our coping mechanism during these times of uncertainty and turning to that place of peace and rest only found in trusting God and His unfailing Word. That peace is really….undescribable, but explained best in scripture…..Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." And Jesus Christ said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27.

Today, June 24th, we're still in the hospital as Ron recovers from the surgery on Tuesday (June 22, 2010). Two surgeons removed his gall bladder, right kidney and adrenal gland. Two immediate prayers were answered for us as all this was done laproscopically -- 4 small incisions instead of open surgery -- which means a shorter recuperation period. And we are at the new Oklahoma Heart Institute -- a division of Hillcrest Hospital -- not because of a heart issue, but because of God's favor to have a beautiful, new, private room and receiving excellent care. The pain from the surgery is gradually dissipating, dear friends are bringing us communion daily, and the prayers and encouragement of our faithful and loving family and friends are what is giving us the extra boost to "finish strong"!!!

Words we heard today: "Adversity causes some to break....and others to break records!" We're going for the gold and expect to break a lot of records!!