The Invitation Read: Bring Spouses

Last week, in a group text message, I was invited to a Christmas Party and the invitation read: “Bring Spouses”. Immediately a “little” pang hit my heart and I replied: “I wish!” Soon the “singles” started texting me love and stated, “We’ll have a ‘single for now’ section!” LOL! I was really being facetious because, with God's grace, I’ve adapted well to my "single” status.

Yes, “Single” is the box I check in “Marital Status” now if it doesn’t have a box “Widow(er)” to check. These photos are of the last Christmas we had with my Sweetheart, my children’s dad, and my grandchildren’s Papa, Christmas 2009. Then, I checked the “Married” box. Honestly, I’d trade every Christmas present for the rest of my life for 5 more minutes with my Ron on this side of heaven. I’d snuggle in to tell him everything he meant to me in those 5 minutes. My encouragement to you, whether you bear the “single” OR “married” status, is to value what's really important and convey the words of what your loved ones mean to you, cherish them with all your heart because it's not what comes under the tree that counts." Comfort and joy are ours when we embrace it.

I often speak or write about the seasons in our lives. We ebb and flow our way through the years, never feeling like we are always weak, always strong, always tired, always victorious. Sometimes we stand tall and we fight. Sometimes we go dormant and we rest. Sometimes we reflect and grow. We don’t have to be “on” every single day of our lives. But, dear friends, we should never believe when we’re down, we are destined to stay there. Life will ebb and flow and our seasons will change. The season of being a couple and bringing my spouse with me to an event has changed, but you know what? I changed too! I was willing to change and in this season, I’m embracing the change. I sit with my single friends, laugh and celebrate life with them. But I also sit with my married friends (some of whom are my closest friends), hang out with them, and even travel with my married friends. I’m not defined by my marital status and neither should you be. Perhaps being defined by our relationship status with our Lord, is the status that matters the most because, in Him, we are complete.

Yes, Christmas is so much more than all the tree and food trimmings, the gift giving and the holiday parties and programs. The original Christmas story was also about seasons. A savior was born into the world – with hope for all mankind -- only to grow up and face rejection, betrayal, and death. All that we go through, He’s been through. Our hurt and our joy, He knows it. After enduring death on the cross and three days in the grave, our hope rose again.

Those of you who are hurting deeply this holiday season, I am so sorry, and I pray in the midst of your pain, you’ll find many moments of hope and joy. Make the moments count with loved ones. Turn your sadness into gratitude for those in your life, still on this side of heaven. Give them the gift of you putting on a "garment of praise" instead of having a spirit of heaviness. Let's be full of joy and resolute determination to be "present" with them. What a wonderful gift to give those around us when we can offer "sacrifices" of joy in the midst of this season. We might find them in the beauty of a Christmas tree that lights a darkened room or in the kitchen with our kids or grandkids icing cookies. Maybe we’ll experience a moment of satisfaction enjoying a meal and conversation with loved ones. We may even feel a glimmer of hope at the sound of Christmas carols, the warmth of a fire, or the sight of our children unwrapping gifts. It’s tender moments like these that will sustain us.

And next year, when we’re in a new season, we’ll look back and say, "That pain almost did me in, but because of God's grace there were moments where I saw Him. Those glimpses of joy reminded me of what life could be. It’s because of those moments that I not only survived but thrived. Don't let pain rob you of God’s small graces and tender hugs and embraces. Keep your heart settled on the good news of comfort and joy!