Little Ways Pay Off in Big Dividends

After months of what seems to be "little" accomplishments, part of me longs to hear about some of God’s BIG ways – BIG wins – BIG worthwhile news – BIG discoveries like a cure for Covid. But, from so many biblical indicators – God seems to work best in the “littles”.

Just think about the “littles” that God used to make something big. Like, making the first man out of LITTLE dust. Like the LITTLE boy with the LITTLE lunch that fed over 5,000. Like the LITTLE shepherd boy, David, who slew the giant with a stone and sling and conquered the Philistine army. And, then there’s Gideon who was the "smallest" in the "least" clan who saved an entire nation. He started with an army of 24,000 and God required him to reduce it to a LITTLE army of 300. God likes LITTLE.

Saint Thérèse de Lisieux said: "Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” She was known for serving God in such beautiful, “little ways”. In this “3rd act of my play”, I find myself doing many “little things” in “little ways” to serve God. It’s a sweet way to live one day at a time and serving in the process.

One of my “little ways” is this blog each day, desiring to spread good news. I am very aware that when I point one finger out to my readers, there are four pointing back at me, so I better practice what I preach! Yesterday, LITTLE was my goal. I’m not tooting my own horn or seeking an “atta girl”! But, how can I give action words without action on my part? So, these were my "little ways". I sent words of encouragement to some friends via text messages and messenger. Went grocery shopping for my friends. And, the gal I helped a couple of weeks ago who fell on the walking path? I give her Jesus in daily text messages and, yesterday, gave her and her daughter cards that express my love and God's love to them.

Here’s my motive for today's blog. We need to take the lid off of LITTLE. Yes, God likes LITTLE. In fact, He sent His beloved Son to earth as a LITTLE baby and changed everything about life, death, eternity and giving the hope for mankind of never perishing and living with Him forever and ever if we believe in Him. Now, that’s what I call BIG! And, that little baby boy grew up and said, “All it takes is a LITTLE mustard seed of faith to move mountains.” Yes, God specializes in making BIG out of LITTLES. He told the “little children” to come to Him. He directed the disciples to get a "little" coin out of a fish's mouth to pay their taxes. Quite frankly, LITTLE is MUCH when God is in it. Yes, LITTLE is much when we follow Christ’s example. We’ll find that LITTLE ways pay off in BIG dividends. What will be your LITTLE today?

So Long, Farewell, Adios, Goodbye Red River

In the “Sound of Music”, when the Von Trapp family sang that song (with Auf Wiedersehen instead of Adios) as their final number at the German festival, they escaped to freedom in Switzerland. This morning, I, too, am singing that song, but it's not because I'm escaping a negative situation to find freedom. It's because I am saying “So long, farewell, adios, goodbye to Red River, NM.” Also, saying “see ya’ later” because I’ve vowed to come back here where it has been a sweet haven of refreshing from the Texas heat, as well as reconnecting with my cousins after many years -- finding joys in simple walks, talks, excursions, eating, and simply celebrating God’s blessings of life.

I’m so ever grateful to Larry and Staci for giving me this trip that will last a lifetime in my thoughts and memories. I’m posting here some of my favorite memories to take with me! I love this “until next time” sign that we’ll see as we depart for home. And, oh yes, I’m hoping there will be a next time.

Now, here’s the thing. While this was a great week of outdoor fun and family reconnections -- going home is up ahead (just in time for the cooler temperatures there) and I’m as excited to get home to my sweet spot in Frisco as I was to get here. C.S. Lewis once said, “One who has journeyed in a strange land cannot return unchanged.” And, he was right. I do feel changed – refreshed, rejuvenated, filled with the awe and wonder of this last week’s encounters – beautiful people, captivating stories, and encountering Christ everywhere I roamed.

The world tells us to cling to what we find here, to try to find life in the “temporary”. But to quote C.S. Lewis again, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” His quote is, of course, speaking of heaven – and yes, we were made with eternity in our hearts.

In our personal lives, we have all transitioned from one place to another, but I have found that the safest, most blessed place to be on this earth is the constancy of our relationship with God and the solid place that He provides for us on a daily basis. When I’m tempted to whine a little bit because I’m an orphan and a widow going home to my “alone” place again, I always come back to the truth that I am God’s beloved adopted child, and my forever home is with Him. He is my rock no matter where I am or who I’m with.

When my heart might yearn to be back in Red River – a truly sweet spot on this earth, or in Austin with my family there (especially like yesterday which was my son’s birthday) or in Tulsa with my dear friends and family there – I always remind myself to seek my heart’s true home in God. We are called to be strangers and aliens here (1 Peter 2:11), but always loving and blessing the places and people God gives us, because we know we are just passing through. Our aching for home is really our aching to be home with our Savior. That, my friends will be our reality and will forever be our “home sweet home”.

I Found My Superpower

A friend of mine, also a blogger and widow, shared a line in her blog that I told her “I’m going to own it!” She said: “When my husband went to heaven, I learned to lean into God even more. He transformed my pitiful into powerful. Widowhood is my superpower to invest more time into people and love them and myself into lifelong transformation.”

Don’t you love that, fellow widows and widowers? Widowhood can be our superpower if we get ourselves off our minds and we take what God has given us and invest into others. We’re the ones still here, so obviously, we have things to do and things to accomplish, plus people to love and to help them live with a powerful mindset instead of a pitiful one.

It’s a way of living “I not only can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength, I WILL do all things that Christ gives me to do on this side of heaven!” Oh, I get it. Nothing likable about our loved one no longer journeying through life with us. Nothing joyful about sleeping and eating alone and definitely nothing fun about being the only “one” with couples all around. But there’s another side to being a widow/er. Some glorious, eye-opening, wouldn’t-trade-anything-for-them moments come when we are willing to embrace this scripture: “In all things give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Donna, are you saying you’re grateful that you’re a widow? Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Feel free to shake your head and roll your eyes at this point. The truth is, my gratitude has nothing to do with eating, sleeping and being alone. My gratitude has everything to do with Christ. After many decades of knowing Him as my Lord and Savior, I now know Him as my Comforter, Healer, Confidant, Counselor, and Friend. Unequivocally, I can tell you I have never been more aware of His presence or more in awe of His power than at this widowhood stage of life I’m living. And I’ve never felt more compelled to speak up about Him and His great love for me. Though I wouldn’t wish widowhood on anyone, I long for my friends to experience firsthand what happens when we accept the reality of our circumstances and not only trust God, but also thank God for the path He has laid out for us.

My family doesn’t feel sorry for me or worry about me and feel the need to console me. Sure, they know how much I miss the love-of-my-life. Every. Single. Day. And so do they, but they are so relieved that Mom has a dance in her step and a song in her heart. They know that widowhood has given me: a greater sense of God’s faithfulness; a richer understanding of His peace; a constant assurance of His goodness; a deeper dependence on His presence. Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus – just to take Him at His Word. His peace is my greatest source of charging up my superpowers. His goodness and mercy follow me everywhere I go. His sweet presence that assures me I may be alone – but I am never lonely because He never leaves me.

My beloved married, single or widow/er friends, however this new year has started out for you and whatever you might be facing right now, I am grateful for the honor of encouraging you and assuring you that trusting in Jesus gives us superpowers – no matter if the sky is falling or the mountains crumbling or the wind is raging – we can be assured “It is well with my soul and it is well with my heart!” The great "I AM" lives in us so, of course, we have SUPER POWERS!

Colossians 2:6-7, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

Choose Life

What helps me pass the time when I'm traveling or on a treadmill or elliptical equipment, is listening to audio books. Since I’m a “romantic” at heart, I enjoy listening to Karen Kingsbury’s Christian inspirational books of intrigue, a tinge of romance and happy endings. The story-line of a recent one I listened to, included God's words to Moses: Deuteronomy 30:15,19 -“See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. Choose life, so that you and your children may live.” I’ve repeated those words to those I’ve been encouraging.

Every day we make all kinds of decisions – from the outfit we’re going to wear, who to meet, what to eat, and what to do. Most important, we choose what to think. I have come to know one thing for sure: today will not be any better than our thoughts. Seriously. LIFE and death are in the power of our thoughts. Choosing life at every thought makes such an incredible difference in who we are to ourselves and to others.

I was compelled to write this blog today because I’ve listened to some dear friends who are still struggling over the loss of a loved one – years after their passing. Instead of choosing life in abundance, they are still consumed with death and are choosing death over life. John 10:10 says “The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I (Jesus) came to give you life and more abundant life.” Don’t we all want ABUNDANT life?

I work with a Faith and Grief Ministry. We share with those who have suffered a loss: "Take as long as you need to heal. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to.” And while it is a soothing way to help someone ease back into living, I’ll admit, I want to get them on a fast-track back to choosing life over death. The sooner we get back to life, the sooner we enjoy living. For all who grieve, I know it is a profoundly personal journey and while I can share my hope with you -- I cannot speak to your time-frame. What I can tell you is that if you are open to true joy, happiness and living life beyond loss, open your heart to welcome the day to live again because Jesus’ abundant life is there waiting with open arms.

I’m not a mind over matter kind-of-gal, but I am a life-giving, Word-of-God living kind-of-girl. That is my “secret sauce”, which is really no secret. God gave us every tool we need to live an over-the-top victorious life and don’t we want to be one of those who we want to hang around with? I know I live with hope and purpose because I’ve chosen LIFE. The ability to choose my thoughts is the difference between pain and freedom. The greatest truth I have learned about LIFE is that LIFE is only ever one thought away. The good news is we are free to change our mind whenever we want. In every situation, we can cultivate the habit of asking ourselves: “What is the LIFE thought here?” Lay aside those dark, sad and depressing thoughts, and make yourself available to the higher ways of the abundant life Jesus came to give us.

Of all the decisions we make – none is greater than to CHOOSE LIFE. To choose thinking life-filled thoughts instead of doubt, unbelief, death, poverty, sadness and fear. When we choose life, we are choosing God thoughts and God actions. I am speaking to those today who have convinced yourselves there is no hope for good things to happen to you; no great expectations for dreams coming true or prayers answered. I am speaking to a parent who has lost a child or a child who has lost a parent or a widow or widower who has lost your beloved spouse. Today is the day to make a choice. I love you too much not to encourage you to CHOOSE LIFE! What a difference it makes in living!

The Invitation Read: Bring Spouses

Last week, in a group text message, I was invited to a Christmas Party and the invitation read: “Bring Spouses”. Immediately a “little” pang hit my heart and I replied: “I wish!” Soon the “singles” started texting me love and stated, “We’ll have a ‘single for now’ section!” LOL! I was really being facetious because, with God's grace, I’ve adapted well to my "single” status.

Yes, “Single” is the box I check in “Marital Status” now if it doesn’t have a box “Widow(er)” to check. These photos are of the last Christmas we had with my Sweetheart, my children’s dad, and my grandchildren’s Papa, Christmas 2009. Then, I checked the “Married” box. Honestly, I’d trade every Christmas present for the rest of my life for 5 more minutes with my Ron on this side of heaven. I’d snuggle in to tell him everything he meant to me in those 5 minutes. My encouragement to you, whether you bear the “single” OR “married” status, is to value what's really important and convey the words of what your loved ones mean to you, cherish them with all your heart because it's not what comes under the tree that counts." Comfort and joy are ours when we embrace it.

I often speak or write about the seasons in our lives. We ebb and flow our way through the years, never feeling like we are always weak, always strong, always tired, always victorious. Sometimes we stand tall and we fight. Sometimes we go dormant and we rest. Sometimes we reflect and grow. We don’t have to be “on” every single day of our lives. But, dear friends, we should never believe when we’re down, we are destined to stay there. Life will ebb and flow and our seasons will change. The season of being a couple and bringing my spouse with me to an event has changed, but you know what? I changed too! I was willing to change and in this season, I’m embracing the change. I sit with my single friends, laugh and celebrate life with them. But I also sit with my married friends (some of whom are my closest friends), hang out with them, and even travel with my married friends. I’m not defined by my marital status and neither should you be. Perhaps being defined by our relationship status with our Lord, is the status that matters the most because, in Him, we are complete.

Yes, Christmas is so much more than all the tree and food trimmings, the gift giving and the holiday parties and programs. The original Christmas story was also about seasons. A savior was born into the world – with hope for all mankind -- only to grow up and face rejection, betrayal, and death. All that we go through, He’s been through. Our hurt and our joy, He knows it. After enduring death on the cross and three days in the grave, our hope rose again.

Those of you who are hurting deeply this holiday season, I am so sorry, and I pray in the midst of your pain, you’ll find many moments of hope and joy. Make the moments count with loved ones. Turn your sadness into gratitude for those in your life, still on this side of heaven. Give them the gift of you putting on a "garment of praise" instead of having a spirit of heaviness. Let's be full of joy and resolute determination to be "present" with them. What a wonderful gift to give those around us when we can offer "sacrifices" of joy in the midst of this season. We might find them in the beauty of a Christmas tree that lights a darkened room or in the kitchen with our kids or grandkids icing cookies. Maybe we’ll experience a moment of satisfaction enjoying a meal and conversation with loved ones. We may even feel a glimmer of hope at the sound of Christmas carols, the warmth of a fire, or the sight of our children unwrapping gifts. It’s tender moments like these that will sustain us.

And next year, when we’re in a new season, we’ll look back and say, "That pain almost did me in, but because of God's grace there were moments where I saw Him. Those glimpses of joy reminded me of what life could be. It’s because of those moments that I not only survived but thrived. Don't let pain rob you of God’s small graces and tender hugs and embraces. Keep your heart settled on the good news of comfort and joy!

I Wish You Knew

This day, eight years ago, began with the routine we had become accustomed to after eleven months of doctors' appointments, six surgeries, many treatments, infusions, pain management and a host of other daily activities. Each day was a new day with hope and great expectations for conquering the events of the day, without being conquered by those events. I wish you knew how our life changed from “normal” to a “new normal” that was anything but normal. We never knew what to expect – perhaps yet another trip to the emergency room to help manage the pain, the fever, or the discomfort. Whatever each day held, it seemed we were enveloped in a blanket of God’s peace. Aw, God’s sweet, wonderful peace. I wish you knew that peace.

I wish you knew how one can weather a storm unscathed because of God’s peace that passes understanding. I wish you knew how it felt to see others living their lives as “routine” and same-o, same-o while I was thrilled to have one more day to trust God that we would make it through another day.

I wish you knew how it felt to live each day with expecting a miracle – that even on this day, I didn’t think anything except that my sweetheart didn’t want much to eat on this day – that he would rather sleep more which I deemed was because of the medication to reduce the pain in his broken body. I wish you knew the great peace it brought that we had a loving God Who we knew was giving us such peace.

I wish you knew how it felt to recognize that this day would be my last day with him as I watched his blood pressure get erratic. I knew it was time to tell him, “Sweet man, it’s okay to go home. I’ll be okay. I love you so much. I'll see you later. Go ahead and “Push, Baby, push!” I wish you knew what it feels like to be your loved one’s Mid-Wife and help him push through to heaven.

I wish you knew how absolutely at peace you can be and know how it feels to be vastly in control when everything around you is out-of-control and out-of-your-ability to do anything to alter God’s will being done on earth as it was in heaven. I wish you knew how resilient we can be in the most storm-tossed seas of life.

I wish you knew how it feels to have spent 49 years of loving your childhood “crush” to him becoming your life-long lover, best friend, sweetheart, and darling husband. I wish you knew how much I still love talking about him, even on this day. Even after all these years later, it makes me smile to hear you tell stories and remind me how he impacted your life. Saying his name is one of the most comforting things you can do for me and my family.

I wish you knew how it feels to be in a room full of couples who love and respect you but you feel like the 3rd or 5th wheel all alone without your person, but putting aside those feelings to living with gusto because of the Big Wheel Who keeps you confident, living with destiny and purpose.

I wish you knew I was not always as strong and inspiring and brave as it looked – that sometimes I was simply a determined survivor. Telling me how strong and confident I was all the time simply made me feel like I had to look and be a certain way to continue being "an inspiration." And, you know what? I did become strong with the desires to be inspiring and brave and not just being a survivor, but a thriver.

I wish you knew that people aren't replaceable and new chapters don't mean we've forgotten or stopped loving them. What's new is new, and it's amazing and beautiful and provides new stories and life, but has nothing to do with the memories that will stay with you forever and the memories that made you live a worthwhile life of making a difference in other people’s lives.

I wish you knew the difference of being a weeping, whiny, and wailing widow to a confident, peace-filled widow who doesn’t forget the past but realizes all the times of the past that made her the capable, faith and peace filled woman she is today. I wish you knew not to waste your life because time is so very short.

I wish you knew how grateful I am for those of you who lifted us up in prayer, who still lift me up in prayer, who do life with me and encourage me with your words of cheer.

I wish you knew that life is worth living until we get to experience real life forever on the other side where we’ll meet up with our loved ones who are cheering us on from heaven’s grandstands.

I wish you knew this peace I know. It's yours for the taking: Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on You because they trust in You."

I wish you knew.......

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year -- Not Time for Down and Out Songs or Words

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year to Sing Joy-Filled Songs

I apologize in advance of this post because it's me being REAL again -- expressing what I've learned the most from the loss of my best friend and husband during this time of the year, and how much I want to help others glean from my experiences. Just maybe this is your first Christmas without that special someone in your life. I hope you'll be encouraged from my words.

This is what my first Christmas looked like without my "special someone". It had been just a few weeks after my husband of 44 years had graduated to heaven when my daughter and I headed out to do some Christmas shopping. By that time we had heard every rendition possible of “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” and of course we always thought about him when we'd hear it. We even started to sing along with the song, when we both caught the words we were singing. We said to each other, almost, simultaneously “Oh, no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because he's having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We realized that there were too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for -- to allow ourselves to be singing “down and out” songs or saying “woe is me” words.

Just shortly after his funeral, I attended the funeral of a dear 98-year old friend who was my mentor in so many ways. She rarely missed church -- rain or snow -- she was always there; she always had a kind word to say to everyone. She was just the person you would want to sit by at a table because you never heard her complaining. She loved God with all her heart. It was such joy to know she had reached her heavenly reward -- she earned it! After the funeral, a dear friend acknowledged me and said, “Oh, it must be so hard for you to attend another funeral.” I quickly replied, ”Oh, no, not at all. It’s another joyful celebration to attend!"

Being a new widow, it was amusing AND disconcerting, to hear what well-meaning people said. “You’ll have a hard Christmas and new year, but God will be with you!” “Just go ahead and grieve – it’s okay!” I told a friend that my youngest grandsons would be spending a week with me after Christmas. Her reply, “Oh, that’s good. It will help you get through this tough time.” I started thinking "Wow, these well-meaning friends need a class in “Bringing Hope and Cheer:101." The fact is, I could have chosen to soak up that pity and be pitiful. But, instead I chose the "powerful and productive" way.

Yes, there were times when I thought about the sweetness of our love story, and I'd start to shed a few tears because I missed him so much. But, time after time, I would remember God's words. "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) "...let your widows trust in me.” (Jeremiah 49:11) “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5).

With absolute trust in God, I found such beautiful dependence in Emmanuel "God with me". It felt like I was carrying a new "Widow's Card" that entitled me to so much special treatment. God was there when I couldn't find my passport to travel to Mexico for R&R after the funeral. It was found by my daughter, where my stealth husband kept it hidden for safekeeping. God was with me when I needed to visit our attorney -- after all we had businesses and a humanitarian foundation I needed to deal with. I couldn't find an important file after hours of looking. But then, from a hall closet, I saw some greenery sticking out from under the door. I put it there to make room for Christmas decorations. I opened the door and there was a box of files -- with the file I needed for the attorney. I started paying attention to so many little kisses from heaven because rather than a spirit of heaviness, I had chosen to put on a garment of praise.

Here is how I've maintained my peace: 1) Psalm 16:11 “…..in His presence is fullness of joy”. When I take my eyes off myself and enter into His presence, I live in a state of overflowing joy and peace."

2) Psalm 22:3 “He inhabits the praises of His people.” He inhabits (hangs out) with me when I praise Him. God with me.

3) Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want." He promised to be my Shepherd, therefore, I will not want. He leads and guides me. He provides just what I need.

After seven years, my faith journey continues. There have been many course alterations, but the journey keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. The more I have trusted Him, the more He has given me “Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61:3.

These are the words I continue to give to those who are going through a crisis of any kind! Emmanuel -- God IS with us, so It is possible to be full of joy and peace -- even at a funeral! Regardless of the time of year, God is faithful, and we can make the choice -- pitiful or powerful. If it's powerful, then, instead of those "Blue" days and Christmases, we will be singing -- all year long, "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!"

She Needed a Hero So She Became One

The recent indiscretions of high profile men has been the topic of conversation lately. The good news is that women are “coming out of the closet” to reveal their stories that were hidden for years, for fear of loss of job or other consequences. They are stepping up to, hopefully, help other women stand up for making wrongs right. This post isn’t to express my opinion “on the news”, but it is to speak out on behalf of “sisterhood”.

Sisters, if ever we need our sisterhood, we need it today. To have friends that encourage us, cry with us, rejoice with us and pray for us is worth more than silver and gold. I do that a lot on Facebook. When I see friends’ photos of their child’s wedding, I rejoice with them. I celebrate with my friends when they celebrate the accomplishments of their family – the school wins, the graduations, the awards, birth of babies, and I also love it when friends are bold enough to ask for prayer. then I pray with them.

This photo says “She Needed a Hero, So She Became One!” I’m so proud of my friends, and even those women I don’t know, who aspire to being strong, resilient, determined, tenacious women and who say “I can do this. I can survive this. I am an overcomer. I am powerful – not because of my own abilities and my own self-talk – but I am powerful because the Greater One lives in me. (1 John 4:4) I am more than a conqueror.(Romans 8:37) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)”

I learned very quickly, after I became a widow, that I had a choice to make. I could whine and I could wallow in self-pity because I didn’t have MY HERO to lean on or give me advice on important decisions, or to repair something around the house. I could have thought “I need a HERO to see after me!” If I stayed in that mindset, I would have never realized all I could accomplish, on my own. Now I know I am a wonder woman with wisdom and I will be powerful, passionate, positive, and, above all – peaceful. Rarely do I call out for help from anyone, but I also know my limitations. For example, I needed help pulling down that heavy, high attic door in my garage to bring down my Christmas decorations. I knew I needed some “man-power” to lift those heavy boxes and bring them down for me. Fortunately, both of my sons and grandson were my heroes on the day after Thanksgiving.

Honestly, there really are times I think about how awesome it would be to have a HERO again, like I once did, who I could go to for support and who would give me that extra hug, soothe my troubled soul, and boost me up with encouragement and compliments. But, I know I have God Who is more than enough. He is faithful to me. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation." Psalm 68:5. He lifts me up with His love. I may be alone, but I’m not lonely. He is for me and encourages me daily with His Word

Still, there are times when, it's up to ME to set ME free. It's up to me to apply the band-aids to my body and my spirit. It's up to me to change the channel of "pitiful me" to "powerful me". It's up to me to do what King David did. "When King David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, David ENCOURAGED himself n the LORD his God." 1 Samuel 30:6

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or mother or FRIEND and it’s ME. I never leave me. I never forsake me. I don’t EVER let ME beat ME up and I don't let me pity me. I put on my armor, pick up my sword and raise it high. I have come to realize I am my own HERO.

Yes…..there are times when we need a HERO......and that's when it's up to us to BECOME ONE! Excuse me, I most end this post, because I need to get my 6' ladder out to repair my garage door opener!

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

Yesterday, while speaking to a visitor and her daughter at our 55+ community, I asked if she was married or single. She immediately teared up and said she was a recent widow. I knew what she was feeling and I told her so. After my husband went to heaven, I weighed my options on keeping my 3,600 square foot home or make a move to a smaller home and simpler lifestyle. The man who was marketing this community, asked me the very same question. And, like this precious lady, I teared up when I said I was a recent widow. His words were so kind as he said, “I know how you feel. My wife passed away three years ago.” Yesterday, I was able to comfort this visitor. That reminds me of the scripture in 2 Corinthians 1:4 “That you may be comforted with the same comfort that I have been comforted with.”

Kindness. A word that we could sure use a lot more of these days. I’ve known kindness in action. Different ones who knew my husband will come to me and say “I remember when Ron said……” or “I still carry the ‘hope’ rock he gave us in our Bible Study” or “He had the most beautiful head of hair” or “He always had a good word to say.” They comforted me then, and now, when they remember him to me.” They are being so kind.

I sincerely want to be the person who encourages. I want to be acutely aware of the needs of others.

I know what it is to witness so many levels of suffering that I didn’t know or even relate to before I walked alongside my sweetheart in his battle against cancer, and eventually his graduation to heaven. As I reflect back, I am reminded of kind words spoken to me and how God used them as healing ointment for my soul. I consistently clung to God for strength, but it was the encouraging words, the delicious home-cooked meals, the calls, the support and offers to help us, was like a shelter in the midst of our raging storm.

Today, six years later, those kind words still comfort me and bring me solace. When, at church, I would speak or give the scripture readings, my sweetheart would always pat my hand or hug me when I returned to my seat and he'd whisper "Good job!" Today, friends who remember that, are on point when they hug me and say “Good job”. They know I need those words of encouragement. I know it's a little wimpy sounding, but oh the breath of fresh air when those soft, spoken words hit my ears. Those kind words have been like kisses from heaven.

I am forever grateful for those who have spoken grace and encouragement into me. My mind is flooded with examples as I am sure you can reflect on encounters from your own life where a kind word ministered more deeply than the speaker could have ever imagined. Those kind words from others have caused me to realize that every day I have the opportunity to let kindness pour out from me. I want to be the person who is sensitive to God’s prompting when He nudges me to be kind and to speak kindness into the life of another.

In the words of Glen Campbell’s old song, maybe we should all “Try a Little Kindness”:

You've got to try a little kindness yes show a little kindness.
Yes shine your light for everyone to see.
And if you'll try a little kindness and you'll overlook the blindness,
Of the narrow minded people on the narrow minded streets.

The Older Teach the Younger

Day 282 of Photo Inspirations -- The Older Teach the Younger
I'm sure we've all heard the scripture that references the older women teaching the younger women (Titus 2:3-5).  I'm so grateful for the older women who influenced my life -- my Mom, my mother-in-law, my Bible teachers like Joyce Meyer, Gloria Copeland, and so many more, but I am even more thrilled that I get to be an influencer to younger women in my own life.  I love it when a young mom calls and cries out "HELP!!!  What do I do?"   I really believe that God places us here at this time and this place to be mentored by those who've walked the walk and have proven success by the "fruit" we see in their lives, but I also believe.....we are being trained and prepared by God, as we go along in our lives, to be the mentor to those younger than us.  I know that, as a widow, I've been able to help other widows become warrior women who realize God still has them here for his plans and purposes even though their loved ones are in heaven.  They've turned their mourning into dancing.

Who qualifies to be the "older" or the "younger" women?  If someone is younger in their faith or in life.....we are the older.  I watched my granddaughter encouraging a younger friend -- perhaps not so much in age, as in her faith.  I've seen you sweet Moms, who've had the experience of nursing, of figuring out the ropes for getting your little sweethearts to sleep through the night, or just what method to use for teaching potty training.  You are being the "older" women to those who are "less traveled" on the "Mommy" road.

I think about some of you, my sweet sisters, that think you don't fit into either category.  You think what you do doesn't count because you're doing it at 2 am in the morning when no one is looking -- except for your sweet baby who has lost his pacificer....AGAIN.   Or because you think you need a podium for your voice to matter or make a difference.

But, I just want to take your sweet faces between my hands and tell you "You ARE making a difference."  Podiums and pulpits are not just found in churches.  Speeches do not just come from stages.  Microphones are just not necessary to be heard.  Don't for a second succumb to the false words you hear in your head that to make a difference, you have to be a theologian instead of changing yet another diaper.  I'm telling you diapers, laundry, and a sink full of dishes IS serious theology.  You are the Proverbs 31 woman who rises while it's still dark to provide for your family. You are the ones who are teaching your children and your daughters what it is to be a Godly woman in the midst of LIFE.  The hours that you sow juggling soccer practice, ballet and football games or between carefully maneuvering the selection of your daughter's prom dress so it's NOT the one that is too low cut in the front.  You're on a mission field of teaching and training and being the example of faithfulness and resilience and determination.  When you break up conflict between your kids, you are being the peacemaker that, one day, they'll remember how you resolved conflict when they're having to do that with their kids. You ARE in ministry.

To offer my life, my lessons learned and failed – so many broken bits and pieces of experience for my sisters who, on a daily basis maneuver your lives with precision, is an honor.  I get to be an "older" woman to you "younger" women.   And while you're getting up again and again for another glass of water or another story to tell, I'll be going through my routines.  You will benefit from my experience, and your mentorees will benefit from yours.

You are teaching the younger.  And while you're teaching the younger, those of us who passed that way long ago.....are engaged in our own battlefields:  taking care of elderly parents, coping with aging bodies, carrying on when a cherished loved one passes away.  But, all is well, because we have "older" teachers that are showing us the way.

We will survive because we know why we're here at this time and this place -- to grow and mature and train and teach and to walk hand in hand -- making our world a better place to be, because we cared AND shared and mentored and all became women worth following!

More Abundant Life

Day 46 of Photo Inspirations -- "More Abundant Life"
What could be more therapeutic for a widow -- whose husband is in heaven and her kids are in Washington and Texas -- than celebrating Valentine's with really fun kids -- spreading the love around!?  

My godson and his three siblings, all have birthdays during the month of February -- so yesterday -- Valentine's Day -- I threw a birthday/Valentine's party for them at my clubhouse. After pizza and ice cream cake, we partied!   I loved having this time with them -- seeing them having so much fun playing pickleball, golfing on the putting green, playing shuffleboard, running on the treadmill.....and even wading in the freezing cold pool.  They brought such joy to me on this "V" day when I could have been in the mulligrubs and playing the "wallering in self pity" games.  I could have been singing "All by myself....don't wanna' be all by myself....anymore!"

I've learned the best medicine for the doldrums....is to dole out cheer, turn inward thoughts to outward joy, turn garments of heaviness to garments of praise and thanksgiving!  God has given me so many resources for spending my days in power rather than self-pity.  And, the best gift we can give back to God is appreciating the abundant life He has given us.   John 10:10 "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."   "More abundantly" means to have a superabundance of something.   "Abundant life" refers to life in its abounding fullness of joy and strength for mind, body, and soul.   "Abundant life" is a complete opposite of lack, emptiness, and dissatisfaction.

The next time it seems the best thing to do for dealing with sadness, misery, discomfort, loneliness, and pity.....is to pull the covers up over your head and just hang out there....totally reject those thoughts and put on your loud-colored royal jester's hat, and throw a party -- be the entertainment! Celebrate the abundant life God has given you -- that's what I did yesterday -- and it was a glorious day of love, life and laughter!

Role Model - Mentor - Women of Example

I have been blessed to have so many amazing female mentors in my life -- that started with my precious mother who showed me the power of profound faith -- in action. I don't remember ever hearing her complain about HAVING to work to bring in the needed income when my dad was so sick for many years, and eventually passed away. I don't ever remember her murmuring about being a widow and being lonely. I remember hearing her faith-filled prayers and singing about God's love while doing daily chores. I remember her having to go pawn her wedding band just to have the finances to make ends meet. I remember her heart of giving -- even with a small social security fixed income. She ALWAYS delighted in giving to her church and to others. She made so many sacrifices for me -- just so I could be dressed impeccably. I remember the sweet and tender heart she had for everyone. I don't remember her being fixated on how her body looked, but I do remember her caring about always dressing like queen. It was her example, as well as other wonderful Christian women who helped me gain a vision for what God desires from His daughters -- living strong, motivated, positive, determined, faith-filled, and energetic lives -- especially eager to make a difference in their world around them.

FB Girl Friends -- let's determine to carry the torch to be that light in the darkness to others, and we can not only be that role model and mentor they need, but will cause them to desire to leave their imprint on their next generation. Let's be those resilient, tenacious, can-do, strong, power-packed, all-out-hearts-for-God women that leave a legacy for others to follow.