Choose Life

What helps me pass the time when I'm traveling or on a treadmill or elliptical equipment, is listening to audio books. Since I’m a “romantic” at heart, I enjoy listening to Karen Kingsbury’s Christian inspirational books of intrigue, a tinge of romance and happy endings. The story-line of a recent one I listened to, included God's words to Moses: Deuteronomy 30:15,19 -“See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. Choose life, so that you and your children may live.” I’ve repeated those words to those I’ve been encouraging.

Every day we make all kinds of decisions – from the outfit we’re going to wear, who to meet, what to eat, and what to do. Most important, we choose what to think. I have come to know one thing for sure: today will not be any better than our thoughts. Seriously. LIFE and death are in the power of our thoughts. Choosing life at every thought makes such an incredible difference in who we are to ourselves and to others.

I was compelled to write this blog today because I’ve listened to some dear friends who are still struggling over the loss of a loved one – years after their passing. Instead of choosing life in abundance, they are still consumed with death and are choosing death over life. John 10:10 says “The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I (Jesus) came to give you life and more abundant life.” Don’t we all want ABUNDANT life?

I work with a Faith and Grief Ministry. We share with those who have suffered a loss: "Take as long as you need to heal. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to.” And while it is a soothing way to help someone ease back into living, I’ll admit, I want to get them on a fast-track back to choosing life over death. The sooner we get back to life, the sooner we enjoy living. For all who grieve, I know it is a profoundly personal journey and while I can share my hope with you -- I cannot speak to your time-frame. What I can tell you is that if you are open to true joy, happiness and living life beyond loss, open your heart to welcome the day to live again because Jesus’ abundant life is there waiting with open arms.

I’m not a mind over matter kind-of-gal, but I am a life-giving, Word-of-God living kind-of-girl. That is my “secret sauce”, which is really no secret. God gave us every tool we need to live an over-the-top victorious life and don’t we want to be one of those who we want to hang around with? I know I live with hope and purpose because I’ve chosen LIFE. The ability to choose my thoughts is the difference between pain and freedom. The greatest truth I have learned about LIFE is that LIFE is only ever one thought away. The good news is we are free to change our mind whenever we want. In every situation, we can cultivate the habit of asking ourselves: “What is the LIFE thought here?” Lay aside those dark, sad and depressing thoughts, and make yourself available to the higher ways of the abundant life Jesus came to give us.

Of all the decisions we make – none is greater than to CHOOSE LIFE. To choose thinking life-filled thoughts instead of doubt, unbelief, death, poverty, sadness and fear. When we choose life, we are choosing God thoughts and God actions. I am speaking to those today who have convinced yourselves there is no hope for good things to happen to you; no great expectations for dreams coming true or prayers answered. I am speaking to a parent who has lost a child or a child who has lost a parent or a widow or widower who has lost your beloved spouse. Today is the day to make a choice. I love you too much not to encourage you to CHOOSE LIFE! What a difference it makes in living!

I Missed Widow’s Day

It was National Widow’s Day on May 3rd and I missed it. But, hold on, International Widow’s Day is on June 23rd. I was first amused when I heard about those days, but I found out some great things that were started to honor and care for widows.

I know this. God keeps a watchful eye on widows(ers). He is concerned for them and the fatherless. He protects them for He is “a father of the fatherless, a defender of widows in his holy habitation." (Psalm 68:5). The Son of God is like Him. He cared for His widowed mother (John 19:25). and condemned those who took advantage of widows (Matt 23:24).

Some folks don’t understand how I chose to move forward with my life and out of the survival mode into the thriving mode so quickly. I took on the desire to give empowerment to a word that most everyone doesn't want to think about. Just google "widow" and you'll see dark, evil and spider images. Ugg! But I changed the meaning purposely to show strength, love of life, and fullness of spirit despite tremendous odds. No matter the age of losing our loved ones on this side of heaven, we could choose a long, dismal and painful recovery or we could choose to be full of love, life, and light.

My blog, today, was inspired by facilitator training I received on Monday in the nondenominational Faith and Grief Ministry in the Dallas area. My church is one of the gathering places. I am pleased to help someone go through their grief process and help them to feel safe to express their grief and encourage and offer them comfort, hope, and faith. I was never one of those who felt I needed or wanted a group like this. I thought it was only for widows(ers), and thought it would be a “meet and greet” for lonely people to find a replacement for their loved one. Did I ever get it wrong! It is a beautiful ministry for a parent, a child, sibling, widows(ers), or anyone who is working their way through grief in the loss of their loved one.

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and oftentimes, people question God and His goodness for the first time in their lives. A group like this helps people realize they are not alone when they hear others share their own stories of grief and faith and then have the opportunity to engage in honest conversation and feel supported, welcomed, understood and loved. They feel assurance of God's love and care for them.

For many, grief is unbearable at times and I want to give others the "living" perspective God gave me. My perspective is one of living our best life, being able to appreciate that we’re still here on this side of heaven until we complete our "God" assignment. While I was never “a grieving widow”, there were many times, and still are when tears come to my eyes when I hear a favorite song of ours or a story is told about him or I smell his favorite cologne as I pass the Abercrombie store, or I miss him at family gatherings. I know it is the sweet remembrances of the love we shared. I don’t stay in those tears for very long because I know I still have life and living to do, and I determine to enjoy it to the fullest. I want that for others, too!

I've come to realize widows and widowers are perhaps some of the most beautiful people on earth. They are often young, vibrant and full of life while others are seasoned with many years of love and wisdom and are quite willing, like me, to share the abundant life and love that Christ gives us. They know deep love and deep loss, and those of us who determine to live life with gusto, realize we survive and can thrive through tremendous and unthinkable circumstances. I pray if it’s you I’m talking to or to someone you know, be assured that God sees you and wants you to know that life is worth living. Let’s embrace our stories and become faith, hope, and life-givers to others. For information about this ministry, go to: http://www.faithandgrief.org/.