See Ya' Later

Unlike attending a funeral before these times, within the last two months, I traveled to two funerals via cyberspace -- Facebook Live. While it’s not the same as being there in person to support and encourage those whose loved one passed on, it is a blessing to be in this technology age that affords us the opportunity to watch from the comfort of our homes.

Such was the case on Tuesday, when I, from my home in Frisco, TX and my dear 97-year-old mother-in-law in Tulsa, OK, could go all the way to Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada via Facebook Live for the funeral/memorial service of mom’s 92-year-old sister. We watched it all as my cousins and mom's nieces and nephews sang and gave beautiful remarks about their mom and grandmother. The theme throughout was Alma's love for her Lord, her knowledge of God's Word, always quoting scriptures, singing about Him with her sisters, leading her children to Him, her hospality, the best baker of sweets -- oh, those tarts -- and loving her family with all her heart. What a legacy!

Auntie Alma’s health drastically declined over the last few months. Mom, the older sister at 97, would daily call her to check in and to encourage her until she was hospitalized. Mom told me she’d say to Alma: “I’m calling to make you laugh again!” And, every time, Alma’s spirit was lifted. One such time, Mom said: “Alma, do you remember when playing Hide and Go Seek, we were all found but we couldn’t find you? We looked and looked but you were nowhere to be found. We were so worried we ran in and told Dad. He came out with his lantern, went straight to his Model T in the garage and found you on the floor board, sound asleep.” The last time mom was able to talk to Alma she told mom, “I’m just too tired to talk today.” Then, Mom starting praying that the Lord would take her home. He did.

My cousin let me know about Auntie Alma's passing on and I let Karen, my sis-in-law know. She found the best time to tell mom. When she told her, mom raised her hands to heaven and shouted: “Hallelujah!” I called then to check on her and she was in a rejoicing-state-of-mind! “I didn't shed a tear and have no sorrow. She’s where I want to be. I remember when we talked about our ten siblings already in heaven and only two seats remained at the table for Alma and me. We wondered which one of us would take the next seat. Now, there’s just one seat left and I’ll soon take it and close the door behind me.”

I love mom’s spirit. She is the last of the 12 siblings on this side of heaven. She is still so on purpose with her life. Only God knows how much longer she’ll be here, but I love her attitude. No grief. No mourning. She just keeps saying “See ya’ later” to those that go before her.

From my own firsthand experience, I know about "passing on" of my husband, parents, and all my siblings. Notice I say “Pass on – not pass away”. “Away” sounds like over and done with, but “on” is like going ON home, going ON a vacation, carrying ON. So, like Mom said “See ya’ later” to Alma – that’s the eternal perspective we can have too! Parting is just temporary!

Alma’s bags were packed. (Actually, I think Mom, mentally, has her bags packed, too). One of these days, Mom’s prayers will be answered, and she’ll walk through the door to eternity. Mom was Auntie Alma's midwife. She helped push her through that door. And here’s the best news for us. We'll walk through that door to our home sweet home one day, too. Our loved ones, there before us, will be on the sidelines cheering for us as we cross our Finish Line. In the meantime, let's give our best to God in each day while we live with eternity in our hearts. I intend to finish strong right along with you! I'll see ya' later!

It’s Potato Salad and Chocolate Cake Time

That sounds like a crazy combination, doesn’t it? But in my day – in the South – if those words are said together, it means that somebody passed away. That's just what we do. When there’s a funeral, there’s always a dinner that’s provided for the family. Or, the dinner is taken to the home before the funeral. That’s what caring and loving family-to-family is all about. Maybe you haven’t ever experienced that. May I suggest that you move South or you start a tradition now that carries Christ’s love with hands and feet to those around about you.

Today is the third day of Lent. It's the time when we prepare our hearts and minds for Easter. It's a time of intentional laser focus on Jesus. Often we hear the word "Lent" and we think "lint" -- those little fibers that get on our clothes from other fabrics. We use a sticky lint remover tool to get it off. Lent means sort of the same thing -- taking the time to "come clean" -- to rid ourselves of the funk and junk that has settled in our hearts. It's remembering the sacrifice of love that causes us to want to have hearts "swept clean" for Christ’s place of residence in us.

During this time people fast and abstain from things that seem to have control over their lives, and it's also, rather than restraining ourselves, it's the "get ready, get set and go" time when we give to others...very purposefully. Random acts of kindness, being generous, etc. It's all about a heart change -- from the "It's all about me" to the "It's all about YOU, God!"

Lent is a time to remember, to recall, and to renew our love and commitment to God. We spend a lot of time remembering the love God had for us in giving us His one and only SON. We remember the love He demonstrated by coming to this earth, becoming one of us, living a life of servitude. Then He was willing to die, be buried, and rise from the grave to life to draw us to Himself. Lent is about being attracted to Him WHO is attracted to us on a daily basis. What if, rather than it being about what can I do for me -- that it's "What can I do to show Christ's giving nature and heart to others?.

God is OUR Waymaker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness. What if we became "little" Jesuses and we intentionally became the way-maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in their darkness to others. We can. We can offer help with child care, bring someone potato salad and chocolate cake, help a neighbor or a friend by just being with them. Maybe, instead of giving up some food or technology this Lent, we could spend time focusing our thoughts and hearts on Christ and loving, really loving His kids. Maybe this Easter will be a real resurrection to celebrate -- the resurrection from our OLD selves to our NEW selves in Him.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness] will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I." (Isaiah 58)

Life is Just a Handbreadth

I had to look up the word, handbreadth, as I read this scripture. “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.” Psalm 39:5. Handbreadth is defined as a linear measurement approximately the width of the palm of the hand, from 2.5 to 4 inches. That’s a very small measurement in terms of the length of our lives. It also says that "everyone is but a breath"! And the way time is rolling on in lightning speed the older I get -- I believe it!

When we moved my mother-in-law to my sis-in-law’s home last year, mom was on a mission to give away so many of her treasures. For everthing else, we had an estate sale. It took us a while to distribute it all because Mom wanted to go through every picture from her archives and those that had merited a prominent place in her home. Karen and I patiently sat with her as she explained the back-story for most of the photos. Many of the people in those photos have gone on to heaven. This photo is from her 90th birthday and some of those pictured here who left for heaven already. Many of Mom's other pictures were of her mom and dad and she was a much younger version of herself in them. She treasured them because life was changing for her. She was now the great grandma and she is the oldest of anyone in her photos. Goodness, I think about me and my own family. All my siblings are gone and I'm the oldest remaining. Indeed, life is just a handbreadth.

A few days ago I attended the funeral of a beloved aunt on my husband’s side of the family. I’m the widowed in-law, but this family has always welcomed me in as one of their own. I have the sweetest memories with this family of so many members. That day I looked around the chapel and the restaurant afterwards. I took in the faces one by one, appreciating something about each of them. I put my phone in my purse. It wasn’t nearly as important as talking to the one next to me. The room was crowded and noisy, and I realized that one day it would be quiet — for many in this room will be all grown up and others will be gone to heaven too.

One day, we’ll remember this day of celebrating the life of a dear mom, grandmother, wife, sister, and aunt when we’re probably celebrating the life of another precious family member who has just departed. We’ll talk about the way we were and we’ll sing songs about heaven. If only we realized the beauty that awaits us, we’d indeed be thanking God that our days are a mere handbreadth before we get to go there too.

My hope is that I’ll watch it and know I didn’t live those moments disengaged or distracted. That I engaged in my own life in the handbreadth of time I was given, valuing all those I love. Lord, help me treasure precious moments as memories in the making. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Psalm 144:4, “They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow.”

Need Motivation? Attend a Good Funeral.

That may sound like an oxymoron, a figure of speech containing words that seem to contradict each other, like “motivation and good” combined with "funeral". Four motivational, good funerals were those I attended in the last four months because each one was a celebration of life of those who positively impacted the lives of their friends and loved ones.

Monday’s funeral, this week, was no exception. This one packed a punch -- of memories of old songs that stirred up the sweetest memories of congregations and choirs belting out praises to God. I grew up on those familiar songs -- singing, verse after verse, without a need for the song sheets. There were memories of family get-togethers, childhood orneriness, beautiful reflections of divine set-ups that brought love and marriage of immigrants to this country and laughter at the recollections. But most of all, I left with desiring to live on purpose in this life because it really is short – in the light of eternity that really is forever, and forever is a long time!

This was the celebration of life of Aunt Iris Litke (my husband’s dad’s sister). I heard it said many times and I see it clearly now. She favored Queen Elizabeth, in looks, style and elegance. She was an influencer. A cousin shared that Aunt Iris gave her love, attention and compliments that carried over to her becoming that kind of person to others today. Another cousin, a self-proclaimed introvert, was greatly impacted when Aunt Iris spoke into her: “You are and will be a great helper to others.” Those words impacted her and that’s exactly her strength today as helping others is her greatest desire and goal. Another cousin recalled her providing the best meals and was responsible for introducing him to tacos for the first time. Another cousin touted "She introduced me to a new restaurant, McDonald's!"

Pastor Wesley Wuerch, another cousin, officiated the service, and gave a beautiful overview of the genealogy of this family that hailed from Austria, Germany and Russia and immigrated to the safety nets of the U.S and Canada during the heat of World War II. A beautiful story of finding true love in countries they came to love, build homes, farm, and raise families there.

Wesley’s most impactful words to me were those from Proverbs 31 where the question is asked “Who can find a virtuous woman?” He said, “You'll find the answer to the question in verse 30: “The one who fears the Lord.” That was Aunt Iris. Different ones said: “She had an infectious smile that invited you into her presence. She accepted everyone. She smiled so much they just wanted to be around her. It certainly gave me the desire to bear an infectious smile, too! Wesley went on to talk about her infectious voice and song. As a matter of fact, this family is still exceptionally talented as I heard 4-part harmony as they raised the rafters in that little chapel singing out songs about heaven. Beautiful, heavenly music. Bottom line -- Aunt Iris loved big because Jesus was the center of her life.

If you haven’t been to a funeral lately and you could use a boost of motivation that makes you want to be a role model and imitator of Christ to others, too, I recommend you take one in and celebrate the gift of life. When you get there, you’ll hear the best things about that person. It will make a lasting impression on you. Just hearing such words of admiration, can sure make us want to stand taller, smile more and live with gusto each day. Concern for how we look doesn't matter in the least -- well unless you look like a queen or king, but I’m thinking I want to represent well the life that God has given me. Only one. Maybe it’s time we all begin today with eternity in mind and the potential words that will be said of us at our memorial service. Maybe it would create the desire in us to step it up a notch.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Jesus Take the Wheel -- Please!!!

I'm home from a quick trip to Tulsa to attend a celebration of a dear 90-year-old friend's life. I thought I knew this man who had blessed me with such kindness over the years, but not until I saw his talents all around the halls and chapel did I come to know I had not delved into WHO he really was. Little did I know he was a renown jazz musician, talented artist, and pioneer in the frozen food business. I only knew him as the developer of the beautiful 55+ Hyde Park community in Tulsa. I loved hearing the speaker say that God had "taken the wheel of his life". I learned that I need to be a friend who cares enough to want to know more about my friends before it's too late.

It was pouring rain most all the way back home yesterday. My sis-in-law, Karen, called and we talked as I drove. She prayed for me: "Jesus, please take the wheel for Donna as she drives home!" I embraced those words because the drive could have been daunting in that pouring-down-rain, but I was completely at peace as I knew Jesus was taking the wheel.

Karen is an amazing and loving care-giver of my almost 97-year-old mother-in-law who can be a hand-full. In addition to the responsibility of mom, Karen and her husband own a highly demanding business that consumes an enormous amount of their time. She remarked: "You know, I often pray 'Jesus take the wheel.'" And I reply: "Oh, yes, I do, too!" I love our relationship because we have each other to vent to when we need a listening ear. We know we are never alone and can talk to God Who is always on our side to give us the super-powers we need to carry on but sometimes we just need Jesus in the "flesh and blood" in our lives. I'm thrilled when we can be that for each other.

At the funeral, I notice a young woman standing off to herself, obviously brokenhearted and weeping. I leave my conversation with friends and go to her, put my arms around her and ask: "Are you okay?" She replies, "He was like a father to me. He always let me sit at his feet and he'd tell me stories. He was so kind to me." I remember how Jesus always had women surrounding Him. He was as a beloved father, brother, friend and great storyteller. Of course they wept when He was no longer with them. This young woman needed Jesus "in the flesh". I was able to be Him in the flesh to her. I say: "Jesus must love you so much -- that out of all the people here today, a gal from Texas shows up, sees you and is nudged by God to come and give you a hug." I ask: "Do you know Him?" She does. I tell her: "Jesus is loving you through me." We sit together at lunch and I see her eyes grow brighter and she is calm and grateful. I tell her to pay it forward now and be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.

Those are times that I know that Jesus takes the wheel from me. When I step away from my agenda and surrender to His plans, He takes control of what matters most. The nudge from God to make this trip was confirmed by so many "Jesus taking the wheel" moments. What an amazing ride it is -- when Jesus takes over and takes the wheel from us. We'll arrive safe and sound......and even have a story to tell of His amazing grace time and time again!

I Missed Widow’s Day

It was National Widow’s Day on May 3rd and I missed it. But, hold on, International Widow’s Day is on June 23rd. I was first amused when I heard about those days, but I found out some great things that were started to honor and care for widows.

I know this. God keeps a watchful eye on widows(ers). He is concerned for them and the fatherless. He protects them for He is “a father of the fatherless, a defender of widows in his holy habitation." (Psalm 68:5). The Son of God is like Him. He cared for His widowed mother (John 19:25). and condemned those who took advantage of widows (Matt 23:24).

Some folks don’t understand how I chose to move forward with my life and out of the survival mode into the thriving mode so quickly. I took on the desire to give empowerment to a word that most everyone doesn't want to think about. Just google "widow" and you'll see dark, evil and spider images. Ugg! But I changed the meaning purposely to show strength, love of life, and fullness of spirit despite tremendous odds. No matter the age of losing our loved ones on this side of heaven, we could choose a long, dismal and painful recovery or we could choose to be full of love, life, and light.

My blog, today, was inspired by facilitator training I received on Monday in the nondenominational Faith and Grief Ministry in the Dallas area. My church is one of the gathering places. I am pleased to help someone go through their grief process and help them to feel safe to express their grief and encourage and offer them comfort, hope, and faith. I was never one of those who felt I needed or wanted a group like this. I thought it was only for widows(ers), and thought it would be a “meet and greet” for lonely people to find a replacement for their loved one. Did I ever get it wrong! It is a beautiful ministry for a parent, a child, sibling, widows(ers), or anyone who is working their way through grief in the loss of their loved one.

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and oftentimes, people question God and His goodness for the first time in their lives. A group like this helps people realize they are not alone when they hear others share their own stories of grief and faith and then have the opportunity to engage in honest conversation and feel supported, welcomed, understood and loved. They feel assurance of God's love and care for them.

For many, grief is unbearable at times and I want to give others the "living" perspective God gave me. My perspective is one of living our best life, being able to appreciate that we’re still here on this side of heaven until we complete our "God" assignment. While I was never “a grieving widow”, there were many times, and still are when tears come to my eyes when I hear a favorite song of ours or a story is told about him or I smell his favorite cologne as I pass the Abercrombie store, or I miss him at family gatherings. I know it is the sweet remembrances of the love we shared. I don’t stay in those tears for very long because I know I still have life and living to do, and I determine to enjoy it to the fullest. I want that for others, too!

I've come to realize widows and widowers are perhaps some of the most beautiful people on earth. They are often young, vibrant and full of life while others are seasoned with many years of love and wisdom and are quite willing, like me, to share the abundant life and love that Christ gives us. They know deep love and deep loss, and those of us who determine to live life with gusto, realize we survive and can thrive through tremendous and unthinkable circumstances. I pray if it’s you I’m talking to or to someone you know, be assured that God sees you and wants you to know that life is worth living. Let’s embrace our stories and become faith, hope, and life-givers to others. For information about this ministry, go to: http://www.faithandgrief.org/.

A Woman Who Fears the Lord is to be Praised

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
This beautiful woman has been one of the sweetest, kindest, faith-filled women I have ever known. I’d love for you to know her too, so make sure you make it to heaven. That’s where she resides now. She went “home” on Saturday. This is Johnnie “Allene” Wheat, my brother’s precious wife. In my young eyes growing up, she was the “better half” of their duo. He was the firey, rambunctious one. She, the calm one. The most beautiful reward of their union is these three talented and equally faith-filled men! I was the “kid sister” (22 years difference). My big bro introduced me that way. I was a proud “kid sister”.

The claim-to-fame of my brother, Rocky, and Allene, his loving and devoted wife, was not my brother’s incredible baritone voice and music abilities or Allene’s gentle spirit, but it was their strength of character, faith, and integrity that they lived day by day. Their three boys picked up on that and they became men of great character and faith and today are all three pastors in churches here in Texas.

Richard, the middle son, talked about his Mom’s strength and faith. And Robert, the youngest son, continued to give his Mom beautiful accolades as he described how she survived and persevered in living her faith during her struggles of raising three high-energy boys. “Though she was 90 when she passed away, she was probably 120 emotionally because of us boys – but she got the years back when she had grandchildren (2 boys and 4 girls) who she adored." Each one expressed their love and appreciation for their mother’s strong faith as the most important attribute of her life well lived. It was beautiful to see and hear Robert lead the grandchildren in a song of tribute to their mom and “nanna”: “Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul. Worship His holy name”.

Oldest granddaughter, Mandi, described her “Nanna’s” presence as “calming”. Jordan, the oldest grandson, said it was hearing his Nanna sing and praise the Lord that encouraged his own faith. John, the oldest son said, "My brothers and I were given the best gifts from our dad and mom. Our dad was our first music director and our mom was our first Bible and prayer teacher. "Nightly, she would go into each boy’s room and kneel by our beds, placing her hand on us and praying for us AND every one of our family members." That kneeling will be a "forever" memory to all of us as John shared that after leaving his mom for just a short while on Saturday, her nurse, Tim, called him to return. When he returned Tim said, “I had been by to see her and when I came back she was kneeling by her bed. She passed away on her knees. John said, “She humbled herself to kneel to pray, and when she got up, she was standing in heaven."

It was cold and raining, but many of us went to Allene’s graveside to hear the final words spoken: "ashes to ashes and dust to dust”. I knew we were standing on holy ground, because under the green carpet laid out on the graves that surrounded Allene’s casket were the resting places of the bodies of my Mom, Edna Pearl Wheat, my Dad, Roscoe Owen Wheat, Sr., my big brother, Roscoe Owen "Rocky" Wheat, Jr., and now my beautiful sister-in-law’s body resides there. Oh, but don’t think for a minute that any of those four live there! My two other sisters went home to heaven years ago. I’m the last one, the baby and the kid sister, still standing upright on this side of heaven. Yes, the family is going home. But the legacy lives on. I remember my brother’s casket being lowered there seven years ago. His young grandchildren then, like yesterday, saw a casket, an “envelope” as described by John, but Graci-Mei, the youngest granddaughter, age six, provided the reason for the composure. She said, “That’s just Papa’s skin – he’s not in there – he’s in heaven!” And now his bride’s skin is in that envelope…..but she is really where we all long to join her one day.

I continue to proclaim with the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 15:55 “Oh death, where is your victory? Oh grave, where is your sting?” With each loved one’s graduation, the thrill of heaven that awaits us gets sweeter and sweeter, and the reality is assured. The real “us” never dies….we live on because we gave our lives to Christ and trusted in His promises “….that all who believe in Him, will not perish but have everlasting life”. John 3:16

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year -- Not Time for Down and Out Songs or Words

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year to Sing Joy-Filled Songs

I apologize in advance of this post because it's me being REAL again -- expressing what I've learned the most from the loss of my best friend and husband during this time of the year, and how much I want to help others glean from my experiences. Just maybe this is your first Christmas without that special someone in your life. I hope you'll be encouraged from my words.

This is what my first Christmas looked like without my "special someone". It had been just a few weeks after my husband of 44 years had graduated to heaven when my daughter and I headed out to do some Christmas shopping. By that time we had heard every rendition possible of “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” and of course we always thought about him when we'd hear it. We even started to sing along with the song, when we both caught the words we were singing. We said to each other, almost, simultaneously “Oh, no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because he's having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We realized that there were too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for -- to allow ourselves to be singing “down and out” songs or saying “woe is me” words.

Just shortly after his funeral, I attended the funeral of a dear 98-year old friend who was my mentor in so many ways. She rarely missed church -- rain or snow -- she was always there; she always had a kind word to say to everyone. She was just the person you would want to sit by at a table because you never heard her complaining. She loved God with all her heart. It was such joy to know she had reached her heavenly reward -- she earned it! After the funeral, a dear friend acknowledged me and said, “Oh, it must be so hard for you to attend another funeral.” I quickly replied, ”Oh, no, not at all. It’s another joyful celebration to attend!"

Being a new widow, it was amusing AND disconcerting, to hear what well-meaning people said. “You’ll have a hard Christmas and new year, but God will be with you!” “Just go ahead and grieve – it’s okay!” I told a friend that my youngest grandsons would be spending a week with me after Christmas. Her reply, “Oh, that’s good. It will help you get through this tough time.” I started thinking "Wow, these well-meaning friends need a class in “Bringing Hope and Cheer:101." The fact is, I could have chosen to soak up that pity and be pitiful. But, instead I chose the "powerful and productive" way.

Yes, there were times when I thought about the sweetness of our love story, and I'd start to shed a few tears because I missed him so much. But, time after time, I would remember God's words. "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) "...let your widows trust in me.” (Jeremiah 49:11) “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5).

With absolute trust in God, I found such beautiful dependence in Emmanuel "God with me". It felt like I was carrying a new "Widow's Card" that entitled me to so much special treatment. God was there when I couldn't find my passport to travel to Mexico for R&R after the funeral. It was found by my daughter, where my stealth husband kept it hidden for safekeeping. God was with me when I needed to visit our attorney -- after all we had businesses and a humanitarian foundation I needed to deal with. I couldn't find an important file after hours of looking. But then, from a hall closet, I saw some greenery sticking out from under the door. I put it there to make room for Christmas decorations. I opened the door and there was a box of files -- with the file I needed for the attorney. I started paying attention to so many little kisses from heaven because rather than a spirit of heaviness, I had chosen to put on a garment of praise.

Here is how I've maintained my peace: 1) Psalm 16:11 “…..in His presence is fullness of joy”. When I take my eyes off myself and enter into His presence, I live in a state of overflowing joy and peace."

2) Psalm 22:3 “He inhabits the praises of His people.” He inhabits (hangs out) with me when I praise Him. God with me.

3) Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want." He promised to be my Shepherd, therefore, I will not want. He leads and guides me. He provides just what I need.

After seven years, my faith journey continues. There have been many course alterations, but the journey keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. The more I have trusted Him, the more He has given me “Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61:3.

These are the words I continue to give to those who are going through a crisis of any kind! Emmanuel -- God IS with us, so It is possible to be full of joy and peace -- even at a funeral! Regardless of the time of year, God is faithful, and we can make the choice -- pitiful or powerful. If it's powerful, then, instead of those "Blue" days and Christmases, we will be singing -- all year long, "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!"

The Symbols and Mementos of a Beautiful Life

My Sweetheart went "home" on November 16, 2010. On the day after, it was already time to begin the preparations for his home going celebration. We had to do all those necessary things one must do in dealing with a loved one’s passing: go to the funeral home, choose a casket and determine burial logistics, go to a florist and pick out flowers from the family, and visit with the pastor about the funeral specifics. And, we did all those necessary things to celebrate my Sweetheart’s life and home going. God guided every one of our steps.

Symbolism plays a vital role in our worship to God -- no matter our religious affiliation -- our hand gestures, religious icons, candles, pictures, music, scriptures, and so many other various forms of remembrance. And, likewise, I would find so much symbolism in the decisions surrounding the preparations that followed. Everything we decided on symbolized this precious man we loved and adored.

So, yesterday, the 7th anniversary of his home going, we knew it was part of God’s master plan for Mom, Karen and I, to go through Mom’s things that we’re deciding on “keeping or letting go” before her move to Karen’s. Like my Sweetheart went through a transition time to heaven, no doubt Mom is going through transition time. It’s no longer sensible for her to live on her own, so we’re helping her “let go” of so many treasures and so many memories that she and Dad had for over 53 years together. Transition isn’t a “piece of cake”. It’s coming to grips with the “past is the past” and it’s time to move on. Mom is doing her best to move on, but we’ve learned, oftentimes the hard way, that pushing her isn’t the thing to do. I understand that. Her “normal” is changing and giving her the freedom she needs to stay in some form of control, we’ve learned, is best.

Yesterday, it was Mom and I going through her nightstands that contained so much memorabilia AND symbols that opened the door for many stories of where and who “that” came from. It was reading notes and then having to make the tough decision to keep or let go. It took over an hour to go through one drawer. We had so many priceless moments together. I surprised myself because I’m a typical “get-er’-done and be done, kind of gal” – but that is not the case with a 95-year old who isn’t thinking about time and “doing”. It was definitely time and “being”. On this day (the anniversary of Ron's promotion to heaven), God’s timing was perfect for us to be captured with precious memories that symbolized my Sweetheart’s and Mom's son's life.

We would find so many mementos that were symbolic of this beautiful man on this day. Mom pulled out a book and inside was this bookmark where Mom had written “Ron’s Silence” 11/16/10 – yesterday’s date of Ron’s passing. Obviously, God directed her to this book to be read on this day which talked about “stilling our bodies and minds in order for God’s Spirit to communicate with our spirit.” These words assured her that Ron’s inner and outer quiet during the many days of his illness, was him in a holy place of “the secret place of the most high”. We ran across the train of Karen’s bridesmaid dress that she wore in our wedding, 51 years ago. Mom ran across many hand-written cards and notes from Ron to her. We opened a clothes bag and there was Mom's "Run for Ron" t-shirt that we wore in our "Movement of Gratitude". All of those sweet items were remembrances – symbols – precious times of love, laughter, family, sacred holy times, full-of-life times.

Thank you, Father God, for your "hugs" from heaven on a day of celebrating your beloved son, Ronald Jonathan David Wuerch. Thank you for choosing me to be the love of his life and for me to be welcomed into that love – not only from him, but his entire family. Thank you for Mom who has been Mom to me from the start. Thank you for the journey of faith that began as children and carried us through the thick and thin times -- to that place of destiny and purpose until You call us home. Thanks for the memories!

Through It All -- The Impact of Andrae Crouch on our Lives

Day 22 of Photo Inspirations.
Today is the funeral of Andrae Crouch.  It will be streamed live on BET.
This photo is of a treasured music/song book we have, loaded with songs written by Andrae -- one of our all-time favorite composers and artists, our mentor, friend, 7-time grammy award winner, and beloved music genius. In secular music, he was known for his collaborative work with Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Quincy Jones as well as conducting choirs that sang on the Michael Jackson hit "Man in the Mirror".  Andrae was a breath of fresh air when his talent incorporated contemporary secular music styles into the gospel music he grew up with. His efforts in this area were what helped in paving the way for early American contemporary Christian music during the 1960s and 1970 (our music ministry era).  His original music arrangements were heard in the films The Color Purple and Disney's The Lion King, as well as the NBC television series "Amen".

And, though I won't be in Los Angeles today to celebrate his life, I am reminiscing and celebrating the memories and the impact he had in our lives.Andrae inspired my husband and I and our Master's Four Quartette for years, His songs were our songs. His songs fueled the flames of our burning desire to spread God's love and word as musicians. His songs stirred our hearts like none other.

When I received word about his passing, my mind raced back to our favorites -- "My Tribute -- To God Be the Glory", "It Won't Be Long", "The Blood Will Never Lose Its Power", and, in fact, many of his songs were so impactful that they became hymns -- "Soon and Very Soon" was one of them. but my all-time favorite was one that carried us through many tests and trials and challenges......"Through It All". On more than one occasion, we found new hope and faith for our own faith journey. In his honor and in my own opportunity to embrace the memories and encourage you today, I share this beautiful song and Andrae's beautiful testimony with you here. Thanks for the memories, Andrae!  RIP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvIxwc90BEI

I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
There's been times I didn't know right from wrong.
But in every situation,
God gave me blessed consulation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.
Chorus
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.
Verse 2
I've been to lots of places,
I've seen a lot of faces,
There's been times I felt so all alone.
But in my lonely hours,
yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus lets me know that I was His own
Verse 3
I thank God for the mountains,
and I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He brought me through.
For if I'd never had a problem,
I wouldn't know God could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do