Happy Father's Day! Fathers and Fatherless

My blog today is dedicated to all the wonderful fathers, father figures, and male mentors who have touched the lives of your own kids and others you’ve mentored and coached. We appreciate you! And, for the rest of us, let's be sure to celebrate our fathers in words and actions. So, I’m taking my own advice and celebrating all the fathers today!

Father’s Day brings precious memories and so much gratitude -- for my own sweet daddy, my dear father-in-law, and my precious husband who are celebrating this Father’s Day with “Our Father Who Art in Heaven”! Okay – they've certainly one-upped us on a grand celebration with the second-to-none Father. And Happy Father’s Day to my two incredible sons: Ryan Wuerch & Larry Wallace, amazing, devoted fathers who lead their families by God’s example to them. Thanks, and well-done, guys, for blessing me with my seven beautiful grandchildren and thank you for all the men and boys you coach and mentor!

And, as celebratory this day is for those amazing fathers who love and adore their families and model what a good father is, my heart goes out to the fatherless today. Over the last several weeks, I’ve heard, repeatedly, that this is a “fatherless” generation which lies at the root of the problems in our society. It is a story of shame, loneliness and rejection. A story that desperately needs to be heard. Fatherlessness is both a personal tragedy and a growing epidemic, and is the engine driving gangs, riots, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse and suicide. But, there is a solution if only those of us in faith communities would rewrite this tragic story.

The “He's a Good, Good Father” song provides answers that only a good Father can provide. When my daddy became so ill when I was eight years old until he passed on when I was fifteen, it was my good, good Heavenly Father who sustained me. When my precious husband passed on, it was the love of my Heavenly Father where I found solace, comfort and peace. Oh, that this fatherless generation could find their true identity in the love of our Heavenly Father. We’re finding out that He's loving and caring and so close that we can be embraced by Him -- any time, anywhere.

As the song goes, we’re finding out He’s perfect in all of His ways…to us. He loved us before we loved Him. He has always been this way. This Father sent Jesus because He wants all of us to know that He loves us all exactly like He loves His Son. Jesus’ desire was that every person knows love by the love He shared among His followers. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:35). We are wising up to those “Love one another” words.

Maybe today, you don’t even know your earthly father, or if you do, he may not have been very present in your life. Maybe, like me, your dad was with you for just a short period of time. Like mine, your dad wasn’t there to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. Maybe your dad is still here and your relationship is and always has been strained.

Dads, in my opinion, you are the most powerful force in the lives of your children. Thank you for not being passive. Thank you for understanding and taking responsibility for your power. Thank you for being living examples of our Heavenly Father's love. Thank you for having real-life conversations with your boys and having date nights with your girls. Thank you for showing them and the fatherless children what respect, honor, and integrity look like. I pray God leads our strong, loving and caring men to reach out in love to those who need to see Father God in the flesh and come to know the love of their good, good Father.
“He is a father to the fatherless." Psalm 68:5

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.” ― Lydia Maria Child

I Missed Widow’s Day

It was National Widow’s Day on May 3rd and I missed it. But, hold on, International Widow’s Day is on June 23rd. I was first amused when I heard about those days, but I found out some great things that were started to honor and care for widows.

I know this. God keeps a watchful eye on widows(ers). He is concerned for them and the fatherless. He protects them for He is “a father of the fatherless, a defender of widows in his holy habitation." (Psalm 68:5). The Son of God is like Him. He cared for His widowed mother (John 19:25). and condemned those who took advantage of widows (Matt 23:24).

Some folks don’t understand how I chose to move forward with my life and out of the survival mode into the thriving mode so quickly. I took on the desire to give empowerment to a word that most everyone doesn't want to think about. Just google "widow" and you'll see dark, evil and spider images. Ugg! But I changed the meaning purposely to show strength, love of life, and fullness of spirit despite tremendous odds. No matter the age of losing our loved ones on this side of heaven, we could choose a long, dismal and painful recovery or we could choose to be full of love, life, and light.

My blog, today, was inspired by facilitator training I received on Monday in the nondenominational Faith and Grief Ministry in the Dallas area. My church is one of the gathering places. I am pleased to help someone go through their grief process and help them to feel safe to express their grief and encourage and offer them comfort, hope, and faith. I was never one of those who felt I needed or wanted a group like this. I thought it was only for widows(ers), and thought it would be a “meet and greet” for lonely people to find a replacement for their loved one. Did I ever get it wrong! It is a beautiful ministry for a parent, a child, sibling, widows(ers), or anyone who is working their way through grief in the loss of their loved one.

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and oftentimes, people question God and His goodness for the first time in their lives. A group like this helps people realize they are not alone when they hear others share their own stories of grief and faith and then have the opportunity to engage in honest conversation and feel supported, welcomed, understood and loved. They feel assurance of God's love and care for them.

For many, grief is unbearable at times and I want to give others the "living" perspective God gave me. My perspective is one of living our best life, being able to appreciate that we’re still here on this side of heaven until we complete our "God" assignment. While I was never “a grieving widow”, there were many times, and still are when tears come to my eyes when I hear a favorite song of ours or a story is told about him or I smell his favorite cologne as I pass the Abercrombie store, or I miss him at family gatherings. I know it is the sweet remembrances of the love we shared. I don’t stay in those tears for very long because I know I still have life and living to do, and I determine to enjoy it to the fullest. I want that for others, too!

I've come to realize widows and widowers are perhaps some of the most beautiful people on earth. They are often young, vibrant and full of life while others are seasoned with many years of love and wisdom and are quite willing, like me, to share the abundant life and love that Christ gives us. They know deep love and deep loss, and those of us who determine to live life with gusto, realize we survive and can thrive through tremendous and unthinkable circumstances. I pray if it’s you I’m talking to or to someone you know, be assured that God sees you and wants you to know that life is worth living. Let’s embrace our stories and become faith, hope, and life-givers to others. For information about this ministry, go to: http://www.faithandgrief.org/.

She Needed a Hero So She Became One

A dear friend who is going through some really tough times sent me a private message after I had said to her “You are your own hero -- you + God = courageous and strong, mighty woman of God!” She replied: Is that ok, to be your own hero?” The following helps explain my response to her:.

If ever we needed our sisterhood, we need it today. To have friends that encourage us, cry with us, rejoice with us and pray for us is worth more than silver and gold. I do that a lot on Facebook. When I see friends’ photos of their child’s wedding, I rejoice with them. I celebrate with my friends when they celebrate the accomplishments of their family – the school wins, graduations, awards, baby births, and anniversaries. I also love it when friends are bold enough to ask for prayer.

This photo says “She Needed a Hero, So She Became One!” I’m so proud of my friends and those women I don’t know, who aspire to be strong, resilient, determined, tenacious women and who say “I can do this. I can survive this. I am an overcomer. I am powerful – not because of my own abilities and my own self-talk – but I am powerful because the Greater One lives in me. (1 John 4:4) I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)”

I learned very quickly, after I became a widow, that I had a choice to make. I could whine and I could wallow in self-pity because I didn’t have my hero to lean on or give me advice on important decisions, or to repair something around the house. I could have thought “I need a hero to see after me!” If I stayed in that mindset, I would have never realized all I could do on my own. Now I know I am a woman of wisdom. I daily purpose to be powerful, passionate, positive, and, above all – peaceful. Rarely do I call out for help from anyone, but I also know my limitations. So when my daughter asked what I’d like for my birthday and since they live nearby, I was quick to say “Coupons for around-the-house jobs” (see photo). And, that's what they gave me. Yay!! I'll definitely use those coupons!

Honestly, there are times I think about how awesome it would be to have a hero again who I could go to for support and who would give me that extra hug, soothe my troubled soul, and boost me up with encouragement and compliments. But, I know I have God Who is more than enough. He is faithful to me. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation." Psalm 68:5. He lifts me up with His love. I may be alone, but I’m not lonely. He is for me and encourages me daily with His Word.

Still, there are times when it's up to ME to set me free. It's up to me to apply the band-aids to my body and my spirit. It's up to me to change the channel of "pitiful me" to "powerful me". It's up to me to do what King David did. "When King David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, David encouraged himself in the LORD his God." 1 Samuel 30:6

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or mother or friend and it’s ME. I never leave me. I never forsake me. I don’t EVER let me beat ME up and I don't let me pity me. I put on my armor, pick up my sword and raise it high. I have come to realize I am my own HERO. Yes…..there are times when we need a HERO......and that's when it's up to us to BECOME ONE

She Needed a Hero So She Became One

The recent indiscretions of high profile men has been the topic of conversation lately. The good news is that women are “coming out of the closet” to reveal their stories that were hidden for years, for fear of loss of job or other consequences. They are stepping up to, hopefully, help other women stand up for making wrongs right. This post isn’t to express my opinion “on the news”, but it is to speak out on behalf of “sisterhood”.

Sisters, if ever we need our sisterhood, we need it today. To have friends that encourage us, cry with us, rejoice with us and pray for us is worth more than silver and gold. I do that a lot on Facebook. When I see friends’ photos of their child’s wedding, I rejoice with them. I celebrate with my friends when they celebrate the accomplishments of their family – the school wins, the graduations, the awards, birth of babies, and I also love it when friends are bold enough to ask for prayer. then I pray with them.

This photo says “She Needed a Hero, So She Became One!” I’m so proud of my friends, and even those women I don’t know, who aspire to being strong, resilient, determined, tenacious women and who say “I can do this. I can survive this. I am an overcomer. I am powerful – not because of my own abilities and my own self-talk – but I am powerful because the Greater One lives in me. (1 John 4:4) I am more than a conqueror.(Romans 8:37) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)”

I learned very quickly, after I became a widow, that I had a choice to make. I could whine and I could wallow in self-pity because I didn’t have MY HERO to lean on or give me advice on important decisions, or to repair something around the house. I could have thought “I need a HERO to see after me!” If I stayed in that mindset, I would have never realized all I could accomplish, on my own. Now I know I am a wonder woman with wisdom and I will be powerful, passionate, positive, and, above all – peaceful. Rarely do I call out for help from anyone, but I also know my limitations. For example, I needed help pulling down that heavy, high attic door in my garage to bring down my Christmas decorations. I knew I needed some “man-power” to lift those heavy boxes and bring them down for me. Fortunately, both of my sons and grandson were my heroes on the day after Thanksgiving.

Honestly, there really are times I think about how awesome it would be to have a HERO again, like I once did, who I could go to for support and who would give me that extra hug, soothe my troubled soul, and boost me up with encouragement and compliments. But, I know I have God Who is more than enough. He is faithful to me. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation." Psalm 68:5. He lifts me up with His love. I may be alone, but I’m not lonely. He is for me and encourages me daily with His Word

Still, there are times when, it's up to ME to set ME free. It's up to me to apply the band-aids to my body and my spirit. It's up to me to change the channel of "pitiful me" to "powerful me". It's up to me to do what King David did. "When King David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, David ENCOURAGED himself n the LORD his God." 1 Samuel 30:6

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or mother or FRIEND and it’s ME. I never leave me. I never forsake me. I don’t EVER let ME beat ME up and I don't let me pity me. I put on my armor, pick up my sword and raise it high. I have come to realize I am my own HERO.

Yes…..there are times when we need a HERO......and that's when it's up to us to BECOME ONE! Excuse me, I most end this post, because I need to get my 6' ladder out to repair my garage door opener!

She Wanted a Hero, So She Became One

Day 246 of Photo Inspirations -- She Wanted a Hero, So She Became One!
I really amused myself last week -- actually, I hurt myself several times..... which eventually amused me.....and others.

I'm respecting my sweet Mom's ways more and more all the time. My strides would be so big, but she'd just pace herself and lag way behind. The older she became, the more meticulous she was with her walking. She had too many friends who had fallen and broken a hip or an arm or a leg. So, intuitively, she watched where she walked and it didn't matter how rushed others would be to get where they were going.....she never succumbed to their peer pressure.

As I’m “maturing” I’m realizing I need to pay more attention to what I'm doing.  Last week, I put on a shirt and I saw in the mirror that it had some wrinkles on it. Rather than doing the sensible thing of taking the shirt off, setting up the ironing board and ironing it, I thought, I can iron it without taking the shirt off.  I held out the fabric and got the front done just find, but over to the right, it needed one more swipe, so this time I used my leg as the ironing board. And, the iron did what it was supposed to -- the steam came out bellowing – my shirt steamed nicely and so did my leg. OUCH!!   I still have iron scars on that leg. Seriously?  What was I thinking?  Now, my confession is “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a SOUND MIND!" 2 Timothy 1:7. Yes, a sound mind NOT to use my body as an ironing board EVER again!!!

Then last week, I burned my forehead with my curling iron, and if that wasn’t enough,  I took a nose dive onto the pickleball court, cutting my arm and hand.

And then there was a sticky confrontation with someone that I had to deal with!

After all that in one week, I started thinking -- I need a HERO to see after me!  LOL!   Honestly, there really are times I think about how awesome it would be to have a HERO again, like I once did, who I could go to for support and encouragement and who would give me that extra hug, soothe my troubled soul, boost me up with compliments and encouragement.  

Of course I know I have God Who is more than enough.  He is so faithful to me. "Father of the fatherless and PROTECTOR OF WIDOWS is God in his holy habitation." Psalm 68:5. He lifts me up with His indescribable love.  I may be alone but I’m not lonely.  He is for me and encourages me with His Word on a daily basis.

BUT, still there's times when, it's up to me to set me free. It's up to me to apply the bandaids to my body and my spirit. It's up to me to change the channel of "woe is me" or "pitiful me" to POWERFUL ME!   It's up to me to do what King David did in 1 Samuel 30:6 "When King David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him......David ENCOURAGED HIMSELF in the LORD his God."    

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or mother or sister or FRIEND and it’s ME.  I never leave me.  I never forsake me.  I don’t EVER let ME beat ME up.  I don't let me pity me.  I put on my armor and hold my sword high.  I be all God's Word says I am -- conqueror, overcomer, victor.   I have come to realize I am my own HERO.

Yes…..there are times when we need a HERO......and that's when it's up to us to JUST BECOME ONE!