How Beautiful are the Hands and Feet of Caregivers

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of Aunt Iris Litke, my father-in-law’s sister. After 68 years of marriage, her husband, Uncle Hugo preceded her to heaven. Their son, Art, and wife, Sharon and their son, Michael, were her caregivers. I’ve admired their strength yet tenderness in the care of this precious woman who struggled with tremendous health issues up to her passing. Hearing about their tender love and care for her made me want to reach out to my social media friends who are caregivers today and encourage you as you carry on faithfully in this beautiful ministry of caregiving. I totally believe you have the Father's heart of love and compassion.

I recognize that ministry. I was the caregiver to my precious Mama for many years and into her later years, her 24-7 caregiver. Then during my Sweetheart's illness, being his 24-7 caregiver. I watch my dear sis-in-law and her husband who welcomed my mother-in-law into their home and have given her 24/7 care. What that means is they don’t take vacations or even spend very many hours away from her. Believe me I’ve tried to step up but Mom insists on Karen being there. I get it. Her trust and security is enveloped in the devotion of her beloved daughter. Mom can only deal with a few hours without Karen’s undivided attention. I assure you -- these beautiful caregivers are living with no regrets. I know. I have no regrets in the care of my mom and my husband.

Caregiving should never feel like it's merely a duty or obligation. Caregiving can be welcomed into our hearts as a God-given ministry. It may be a hidden ministry that goes unnoticed by many, but it is a ministry that God sees and one that pleases Him. Jesus recognized its importance when He said, “Whoever helps one of these little ones because they are my followers will truly get his reward. He will get his reward even if he only gave my follower a cup of cold water.” Matthew 10:42.

As a caregiver, God will use your hands as an extension of His hands -- to hold, to support, to embrace, to comfort, to bless, to help, to heal. He will use your words— to encourage, to build up, to speak hope, to convey truth, to strengthen faith, to deepen trust, to impart love. He will use your presence— to show care, to bring companionship, to wipe a tear, to soothe a pain, to dispel a fear, to rub a brow, to kiss a cheek, to hold a hand, to fluff a pillow, to reassure when there’s a setback, to celebrate when progress is made. Those actions certainly do sound like the actions and character of God. God with skin on.

As His servants, the ministry of caregiving means that whatever it is we do to help another, even if it means the simple act of giving a glass of water, the Lord receives it as a ministry done unto Him. How blessed we are to be able to make God's heart glad as we touch others with His love. I can imagine He is giving you applause and a standing ovation for a "job well done"! In fact, He’s saying “Well done, good and faithful servants. Enter into my joy. You earned it. Receive it.”

Just Taking it All In with a Let-it-Go Frame-of-Mind

I’m an “all in” kind-of-gal. I’ll admit that being all-in is easy when it comes to savoring the moments with my grandchildren. Sweet one-on-one time with my grown-up ones -- Braden and his wife, Ruth, and Barrett, while I was in Austin doing animal care. Braden and Ruth are still "honeymooning" after nearly three years of marriage. Maybe 2020 will be the year for a great grand-baby; at least that’s what a little bird told me! I’m not holding my breath, but, after seeing “The Lion King”, yesterday with the four younger grands, I started getting excited about the potential of the “circle of life” continuing in our family.

I’m an “all in” kind-of-gal. I’ll admit that being all-in is easy when it comes to savoring the moments with my grandchildren. Sweet one-on-one time with my grown-up ones -- Braden and his wife, Ruth, and Barrett, while I was in Austin doing animal care. Braden and Ruth are still "honeymooning" after nearly three years of marriage. Maybe 2020 will be the year for a great grand-baby; at least that’s what a little bird told me! I’m not holding my breath, but, after seeing “Lion King” with the four younger grands, I started getting excited about the potential of the “circle of life” continuing in our family.

When trying to decide “What should we do today?” and the suggestion of Chuck-E-Cheese came up – we were all in…. again! (Yes, this crew STILL wants to hang out there) – so funny to see them all so determined to chalk up more tickets than ever before – final count after pizza and two hours of play: 3,150! The next day they chose Ninja Nation – an American Ninja Warrior-like facility where obstacle courses give kids and adults body challenging action. Only problem was the blisters on their softy hands from hanging on bars and other obstacles. The new "Lion King" movie gave us all great feel-good feelings. The story line is similar to the original animated version, but the computer-generated life-like characters, music and current one-liners made for such a great afternoon.

In between all the go-to activities is always Nana’s standby oldie but goodie, Nintendo 64 – Mario Party, and other games that make me laugh, considering the current high-tech versions of video games on their phones and theater screens at home. A bocce championship on the courts in my community made for hilarious competition: Bryson and I on one team and Payton and Brennan on the other. Bryson and I, calmly accepting or not getting another “closest to the palino” score, while the other two highly-competitive guys throwing themselves on the ground in defeat or chest-bumping each other in the win. We had to have a play-off for the championship game and Bryson and I, gracefully, congratulated the winners in all their glory!

Maybe you’re still in the parenting mode, but, before long (Trust me…..the time flies!), grand-parenting will become a part of your world, and in that case, my PRO-Nana recommendation is to get intimately involved in their lives. Moms and dads are no doubt the greatest influencers, but grandparents can come in a close second. My husband and I teamed up for the first many years of the older kids’ lives. The youngest two only get me – so I have to step it up and be all in for both of us now. It isn’t a hard task. It’s a circle-of-life pleasure for me.

We always wanted our grandchildren to know that we pray for them, stand ready to be there for them, and to support them as best we could. I'm, by no means, wanting to be dishing out a guilt trip to anyone that doesn't have that "bent", but I assure you, there is nothing to compare to that precious love and hearing: "Nana, I love you so much! Am I your favorite?” And my reply, “Yes, you’re my favorite Payton! Alexia! Bryson! Brennan!” Along with this over-the-top, care-free spirit of this grandmother, is a brilliant one who knows…I love them too much to compare them or to even want them to be alike in any way. Just like God, I love them with the love of a devoted, grateful, and indescribable love that only grandparents AND God understands.

"The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent." -- Sam Levenson

I Missed Widow’s Day

It was National Widow’s Day on May 3rd and I missed it. But, hold on, International Widow’s Day is on June 23rd. I was first amused when I heard about those days, but I found out some great things that were started to honor and care for widows.

I know this. God keeps a watchful eye on widows(ers). He is concerned for them and the fatherless. He protects them for He is “a father of the fatherless, a defender of widows in his holy habitation." (Psalm 68:5). The Son of God is like Him. He cared for His widowed mother (John 19:25). and condemned those who took advantage of widows (Matt 23:24).

Some folks don’t understand how I chose to move forward with my life and out of the survival mode into the thriving mode so quickly. I took on the desire to give empowerment to a word that most everyone doesn't want to think about. Just google "widow" and you'll see dark, evil and spider images. Ugg! But I changed the meaning purposely to show strength, love of life, and fullness of spirit despite tremendous odds. No matter the age of losing our loved ones on this side of heaven, we could choose a long, dismal and painful recovery or we could choose to be full of love, life, and light.

My blog, today, was inspired by facilitator training I received on Monday in the nondenominational Faith and Grief Ministry in the Dallas area. My church is one of the gathering places. I am pleased to help someone go through their grief process and help them to feel safe to express their grief and encourage and offer them comfort, hope, and faith. I was never one of those who felt I needed or wanted a group like this. I thought it was only for widows(ers), and thought it would be a “meet and greet” for lonely people to find a replacement for their loved one. Did I ever get it wrong! It is a beautiful ministry for a parent, a child, sibling, widows(ers), or anyone who is working their way through grief in the loss of their loved one.

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and oftentimes, people question God and His goodness for the first time in their lives. A group like this helps people realize they are not alone when they hear others share their own stories of grief and faith and then have the opportunity to engage in honest conversation and feel supported, welcomed, understood and loved. They feel assurance of God's love and care for them.

For many, grief is unbearable at times and I want to give others the "living" perspective God gave me. My perspective is one of living our best life, being able to appreciate that we’re still here on this side of heaven until we complete our "God" assignment. While I was never “a grieving widow”, there were many times, and still are when tears come to my eyes when I hear a favorite song of ours or a story is told about him or I smell his favorite cologne as I pass the Abercrombie store, or I miss him at family gatherings. I know it is the sweet remembrances of the love we shared. I don’t stay in those tears for very long because I know I still have life and living to do, and I determine to enjoy it to the fullest. I want that for others, too!

I've come to realize widows and widowers are perhaps some of the most beautiful people on earth. They are often young, vibrant and full of life while others are seasoned with many years of love and wisdom and are quite willing, like me, to share the abundant life and love that Christ gives us. They know deep love and deep loss, and those of us who determine to live life with gusto, realize we survive and can thrive through tremendous and unthinkable circumstances. I pray if it’s you I’m talking to or to someone you know, be assured that God sees you and wants you to know that life is worth living. Let’s embrace our stories and become faith, hope, and life-givers to others. For information about this ministry, go to: http://www.faithandgrief.org/.

My Fear Doesn't Stand a Chance When I Stand in Your Love

My morning routine -- make my daily blog post, check emails, scroll through my social media, encourage and pray for those who reflect they need “team” support and prayer. A valiant, warrior mom’s post stopped me in my tracks yesterday.

This most amazing wife and mom has fought the good fight of faith for her precious son for many years. She is typically in full on battle mode as she keeps him comfortable, celebrates his victories (often a smile does that), dotes on him and does everything she can to help him thrive. But this day, she says (in an excerpt from her post): “Today was one of those days that I feel like I’m in a shoot for a movie that I never signed up for a role in. The doctor is talking...I know he’s looking at me and saying things that I’m supposed to remember but all I can feel is the storm. Three people all looking at me in a doctor’s office. Waiting. Waiting for me to make the call. I can’t even remember what the choices were. If that’s what you even want to call them.
Why do I have to make the choice? I’m not ready. What did you say? My husband isn’t here. Why? Why us? Why more? All the while looking around the room in a half daze like where are the cameras? There must be cameras here because this doesn’t happen in real life. Touché. Oh, how I wish this cup could pass us. I feel like I’m starting to lose hope. I feel like this war we have been faithfully waging will never be won. I’m tired of having bad days more than we have good days.”

Early this morning, I was hearing (in my head) Josh Baldwin’s song: “Stand in Your Love”. I thought about the lyrics when I read this friend’s post so I commented: “I know why I was thinking about this song this morning before I read your post. Sweet girl! You are such a valiant warrior and a most amazing mother to this precious little man! We continue to stand and when we've done all to stand -- we keep standing because we're standing in God's love! Listen to this song because I know it will minister to you! Love you so much!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T2tMt0Ky6g

I don’t typically pass along someone’s post, but this day I sensed there are others who feel just like my friend. You’ve been given news that has jolted you. You are overcome with pressures and concerns about what today and tomorrow will hold for you and your loved one. You are ready to throw in the towel and give up. The strong faith you once had feels like it has drained entirely out of you. You, too, are ridden with starting to lose hope and you think the war you are waging will never be won.

I tell you what I told this sweet friend. STAND!!! Don’t give up! God is saying “Hold on, My child! Weeping lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)

I believe Josh Baldwin’s song lyrics are for you today, too:
When darkness tries to roll over my bones;
When sorrow comes to steal the joy I own;
When brokenness and pain is all I know;
Oh, I won't be shaken, no, I won't be shaken.

My fear doesn't stand a chance;
When I stand in Your love.

The good news is this sweet mama put her combat boots back on and she is standing strong another day – for a miracle. I love her Facebook banner. It says: “Expect a miracle. All things are possible.” And I speak that to you, too, mighty warriors! You and God have got this! You are an overcomer and are equipped for victory! Tough times don't last, but tough people, with God's help, do!

Tactical Warfare – Defensively and Offensively

Yesterday I posted that our “First Line of Defense”, when a negative surprise comes to take us out, should be Jesus’ words to Jairus when he was told his daughter was dead: “Do not be afraid. Only believe!” Counterattack the negative by refusing to be afraid and to believe that the story is not ending. It is just beginning and God has a plan of how the story will end.

Life can often feel like a raging battle is going on as soon as we wake up. We robotically take whatever on, doing our best to be brave, determined to trust God, read His Word, and pray, but sometimes it’s hard to create a battle plan. That's when we turn the defensive stance, to a daily faith on the offense that is:

~ Waking and proclaiming God’s truths over our lives (“God is with me, for me, above me, before me…”)
~ Moving God’s Word from our head to our heart by dwelling on it throughout the day.
~ Praying habitually -- in the car, in our home, in our free time.
~ Having a team of people to support our faith walk.
~ Praising God as we see His handiwork throughout our day.
~ Thanking God continually for all we have.

A Christian on offense moves into the battlefield not only able to withstand war but ready to win. They see not only what is coming against them, but they are prepared with a tactical plan to love when usually they’d be prone to fear. Rather than being a Chess piece, they know they are sons and daughters of the King, loved, provided for and helped along the way. They are an active force of good on the spiritual game board of good and evil. God sees their faith and willingness to prepare. He rewards them for seeking Him diligently.

This person understands it is not their own willpower that wins, it is not their mindset that overcomes, but it is the blood of Jesus that won for them. In humility, they stand under God so that He can move over their lives and into the lives of others.

My posture today is that of offense. I’m suited up and ready to go. Ephesians 6:10-18 tells me how: “Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

What Would the Walls of Your Home Say About You?

I sit here at my dear friends’ kitchen counter in the wee hours of the morning working on my post for this day. There are two little kitchen lamps dimly shining so mostly darkness surrounds me. Then I look across to the other side of the kitchen and there is the lighted manger scene glowing that I hadn’t noticed before in the daylight. I’m reminded of Emmanuel – God with us. Indeed, He is here in this beautiful home where the welcome mat is always out for me. My dear friends of so many years give me the royal treatment. It was especially meaningful this time as their Christmas decorations are still up. More than the lit Christmas tree and manger scene is the presence and light of Christ who lives in this home.

If these walls here could speak, I know they’d tell you “Love in any language fluently spoken here”! It is evident by the photos of their precious family and their two adorable grandchildren. Both Mick and Sheila beam with joy telling me how 3-year old Benjamin soothes his little 1-year-old sister when she’s crying with “It’ll be okay, Baby Sister!”.

Most importantly is the welcome mat is always out for God and His presence here. Every room in this home has its own personality and its own story to tell -- from Sheila’s mom’s magnificent paintings and artwork to the crosses, spiritual icons, statues, Bibles, devotion books, Christian magazines, scripture photos, and each room is named after a saint. The culture here is the free flow of conversation about the goodness of God and His love for us. No matter where the conversation starts – it will always include a gratitude word or blessing or encouragement in it. We just can’t carry on a conversation without it.

They humored me Saturday night as we watched the Dallas Cowboys game together – well, Mick and I watched the game as Sheila was with us but going through her 40+ years of a tub full of collected holy and scripture cards, sorting them to take to the women in the jail where she and Mick minister every Friday. At half time, we humored ourselves when, quite spontaneously, Mick got us going with Bible charades as he acted out Peter. The “hanging upside down on the cross” gave it away. When I acted out Mary Magdalene washing Jesus feet with her hair and crying, Sheila totally went to the place of remembrance of that meaningful and touching Bible scene and teared up as she said, “Ohhhh, it’s Mary!”

In this home and holding His Bible open, you’ll hear Mick remark, “Listen to this.....” as he quotes scripture and provides us with an enlightening explanation of the words. You’ll see Sheila’s face light up and hear her compassionate heart as she talks about the women who she witnesses to weekly in the jail or about the women that come to her home Bible studies. Truly this home is built on solid rock.

This same day while I was spending time with my 96-year-old Mom-in-love, who, by the way, is doing remarkably well – with just a few aches and pains in her legs, Sheila came over to visit her. It was the sweetest time and Mom beamed like a teenager as she nostalgically told her about how she and dad met and married six weeks later – a marriage that lasted 52 years before dad passed away. If the walls of Mom’s room could speak, they would tell you she is so loved and cared for by her daughter who is her loving and devoted caregiver. Mom’s vibrancy is proof of that loving care. The walls of this room are covered with family photos and scriptures and there's her Bible on her nightstand. It is evident who she is by what surrounds her.

Yesterday I spoke about friends who are for a season and those who are for a lifetime. Add to the list Sheila and Mick who live out the sanctity of marriage, friendship, loving others in word and deed. Their home is proof. Their lives are proof. The evidence is in the many lives that have been affected by their love, support and encouragement. Count me in on that one. Their home is evidence of WHO they are and WHOSE they are. Mom's little room expresses that, too.

What would the walls of your home say about you?

You've Got a Friend in Me

With six grandchildren, I've watch many animated movies and among my favorites was Toy Story. "You've Got a Friend in Me" is the theme song. Maybe we should use it as our own theme song:
You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me.
You've got troubles, and I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me

Yesterday, I heard a speaker say, “Often we look and act like we have it all together, but in reality, we are struggling and hurting and we could sure use a friend that we could like, love, and TRUST." That resonated with me. And, that friend is one we trust so much that we can bear our aching heart to as we cry bucket loads of tears. That friend is so trustworthy that they will cry and laugh with us, and best of all, our friend provides a “safe” place for us, because what is said in our time together, stays there. The speaker went on to say “Look at how Christ modeled His life. In the garden, as the Son of God, He chose to reveal to his three closest friends the anguish that He was in. He didn’t put a brave face on for the disciples. He shared the anguish of His soul as He cried, ‘Let this cup pass from me. ” If Christ could bear His soul – we need that, too.

We do have a trustworthy friend in Jesus. He is always there for us. He truly understands everything about us because He felt the same pains that we do. But, we also need a friend or friends that we love and trust and are able to reach out to them for encouragement. When I lived in Tulsa, I had a precious group of loving and caring women that were in my weekly Life Group. My home was our "safe space”, because we liked, loved and trusted each other. We shared our hearts openly because we knew what we shared was held as sacred. Galatians 6:2 says “Help carry one another's burdens, and in this way you will obey the law of Christ.”

Monday night was the first team meeting for a beautiful spiritual retreat that will take place in March. This team is a group of 40 women who will grow together throughout the next 16 weeks as we pray and prepare together for the retreat, but the most important facet of our coming together is that we are sisters in Christ and we will feel safe in that place. We covenant together to encourage and support each other. WOW! Forty friends to “safely” share each others joys and sorrows with.

The Christmas season is here and no doubt there will be added stress and pressure because of all the many activities that come along with it for many, and for others who are alone and lonely and long for this season to be over for another year. We need to find a “safe place” and a trustworthy friend, one of God’s kids, who will encourage us and lift us up. They are out there. To find that friend, it's up to us to show ourselves friendly. Maybe YOU and I could be THAT ONE that can offer ourselves as a “safe place” for others to come to for comfort and prayer. Instead of displaying a “Do Not Disturb” sign on our hearts, it’s time to put up an “Open” sign that says “Here’s my shoulder – go ahead and lean on me!” They will know they can come to us for hope, encouragement and support. After all, aren’t we supposed to be the “Good News” carriers? If you haven't heard it from me before, please hear it now "You've got a friend in me, and I love you so much."

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "And so encourage one another and help one another, just as you are now doing."

Are YOU Always on Your Mind?

Day 20 of this Month of Love -- Are YOU always on YOUR mind?
Mark 12:31 says "Love your neighbor as you love yourself!" That's a lot to live up to, but that's what God tells us to do. But loving ourselves is one thing, and having ourselves ALWAYS on OUR mind is a whole other story.

I saw Joyce Meyer coax her husband, Dave, to come to the stage so she could sing him a love song. She sang Willie Nelson's song, with two change of words…… "Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have, And maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have. If I made you feel second best, I'm sorry I was blind.  I WAS ALWAYS ON MY MIND.  I WAS ALWAYS ON MY MIND.  And maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times. And I guess I never told you I'm so happy that you're mine. Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. I WAS ALWAYS ON MY MIND.  I WAS ALWAYS ON MY MIND."

It was hilarious....but point well-taken. Joyce shared that she was so self-absorbed for a very long time. The fact is, when WE'RE always on OUR own mind…selfish and self-centered, people will know it. And, when we are self-sacrificing, and always giving love, people will know it, too. People can always determine our character by looking at the fruit of our life. We're told by St. Paul that we should bear good fruit because that’s what we are going to be known for. Everyone we come into contact with, every single day, and in every situation, will see our fruit. So, how are you known? What kind of fruit do others see in your life? Are YOU always on YOUR mind?  Maybe it's time to have others on our mind -- to encourage, support, lift up and cheer on to their finish line.

Thank You for Making a Difference

I'm thinking about those who have made a difference in my life.....from my sweet mom, to my Sunday School teacher, to my Camp Counselor, to my special friends who continue to encourage me with their love and support, to my children and grandchildren who cause me so much joy and happiness, to my Facebook friends who give me a "Like" or a "Comment" that brightens my day, to the ones who don't even know me -- the store clerk, the waitress, the landscapers, the mailman, the greeters and ushers at my church, the bank teller, and on and on -- because I know God loves me so much that He orchestrates, not just the circumstances and situations of my life.....but He divinely orchestrates those who come into my life. And though, some folks are for just a season, and some are for a reason.....He brings many into my world for a lifetime. I don't take any of you lightly.....because God knows who and what is best for me! Thank you for making a difference in my life!