Love and Marriage and Love

"Love and Marriage" seemed to have been the themes in church services I attended on Sunday. The first inspiring message I heard delved into what causes divorce and one of the first reasons was because they starting saying the word “divorce”. The minister said when couples say their vows and make lifelong commitments together, then “divorce” should never be an option. He said, “From the very beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist.” Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Good advice!

He further said, “Every morning, wake up with choosing to bear the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Imagine
how precious marriage can be when each one is filled up with those juicy and delectable fruit.

Then, Sunday night, the minister spoke about following God’s rules. In the Old Testament, the rule to Abraham was: “I am the One True God. Follow me.” To Moses, He gave the 10 Commandments. But then Jesus came and He stepped it up. In His Sermon on the Mount, He gave the Beatitudes in which our dispositions change from the outward following to an inward heart change that says “I want to”… .Jesus said “You have heard ‘You shall not kill’, but He expanded it to ‘You shall not be angry’; Instead of “Do not commit adultery”, He expanded it to “Do not even look at another with lust” and He expanded “Do not take a false oath”, He expanded it to saying our vows mean “Divorce should not be an option. Put a stake in the ground.” Such powerful words for couples AND individuals in our desire to be faithful, true and devoted followers of Christ in our marriages and even in our single lives.

Finally, our pastor invited couples, in honor of St. Valentine’s having been celebrated during the week, to stand up. I nudged the man in front of me to stand up even though his wife couldn’t make the service. As he was standing up, Pastor said “Even if your spouse isn’t here, stand up!” So, I stood up, too! And, as he was praying over these couples and their commitments to each other and their support of each other, I realized “Oops! He was speaking to those who have LIVING spouses." I laughed at myself for standing. When the prayer was over, I turned to my friend and said, “Oops, my husband is in heaven! I assure you! We get along really well now!" Oh me!

My own final words for thought and application to you who are married: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and your never-ending love story right on into eternity. I did and I do. Eternity awaits me AND you!

I Love a Good Love Story

One of our favorite movies was the blockbuster, "Love Story", with Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw! While I love a good on-screen love-story movie, there is nothing like real life ones.

The first chapter of my own love story began when I was a little girl seeing the adoring love that my mom and dad had for each other. I witnessed their sweet affection for each other. In fact, my dad couldn’t keep his hands off my mom. “Roscoe, QUIT!” she’d cry out when he was waaay too affectionate in public for her very prim and proper ways. They were my first example of true love. I think that’s why I’m a hugger today! Be forewarned!

The next love chapter was the love of my boyfriend who became my precious husband a few years later. What a wild and crazy adventure we took on by marrying when we hardly knew anything about life, but we kept practicing and before long, we had learned many trial-and-error lessons. Actually, we never did stop learning about life and each other.

I love to hear real-life love stories. If you and I were together for just a short while, you'd be answering my plea: "Please tell me your love story with your husband/wife!" Since I know my own love story, I get a thrill of hearing other people's romance stories. Now you know why I love me some Hallmark movies! Happy ever-after endings every time!

But, better than our personal love stories, there is one that doesn't even compare. It is the LOVE STORY about God’s Son Who left the portals of heaven to become one of us, first, as a little baby, then grow up and set the pattern for loving, living and serving others. Then to ultimately, die for us so that our Love Stories live on forever. The Bible tells us to "give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever" Psalm 136:1. "Steadfast love" describes a love that is unconditional and unchanging.

So right here in the middle of this holiest of seasons when we hear that Love Story over and over again, how should we respond? We can respond like the shepherds did on that first Christmas night, and like the Wise Men when they arrived at their home. They worshiped Him. We can rekindle this romance every day as we lean in closer to Jesus and bow our lives to Him in adoration for Who He is and all He has done for us. We can fall in love with Him again and determine to keep the “flames” of that first love we had for Him burning as brightly as the star that announced His coming 2,019 years ago. Indeed, it is the "Greatest Love Story Ever Told"!

The Greatest “Once-Upon-A Time” Love Story Ever

Don’t you love that start to a movie or a story because you just know there's going to be a happy ending at the end. I love thinking about my own “Once upon a time” love story, but no love story compares to this beginning…..

Once upon a tree…..a Creator gave His life for His creation. From the very beginning of time…..this true story began….but there was never, and there will never be a “The End”, to this story. It took our Creator stepping up to give His life for His creation so that all of man’s mistakes from the beginning of time, could have a happy EVER AFTER!

Every one of us are writing our stories by the way we live our lives each day. No, we don't have to have a "Once upon a tree"....story, because God lived that story once and for all for all of us. Some of our stories may seem ho-hum, while other stories may be adventures-of-a-lifetime every day, but we can choose how our story reads out. Maybe one of these beginnings would look good in your story:

Once upon a phone…..a devoted follower of Christ shared encouragement and love with his friend, and the friend met the Creator through him. It was a happy-ever-after phone story.

Once upon a greeting card….. there was someone who was hurting so much, but she realized someone else was hurting more than she was, so she shared the faithfulness of God in her card, and they both received renewed strength for their journeys of faith.

Once upon a car…..someone’s friend needed a ride to their doctor, so the driver became a chauffeur for God that showed what “mercy” looks like.

Once upon a dollar…..a kind-hearted soul, gave that dollar, and a hug, to a blind man holding a tin cup.

Once upon a rope…..someone tossed the end to a drowning man and saved their life. That day, the rope and the rope-thrower became a life-saver.

Once upon an altar…..someone gave their time to pray for someone who needed a Savior.

And that brings us right back to the very beginning of the “Once upon the beginning of time” story that has no ending, because in each of those scenarios the answer came with Jesus’ words to Peter “Peter do you love me? Then, feed my lambs. Peter do you love me? Feed my sheep.” And those words to Peter are Jesus’ words to us. “Do you love me? Love and care for my sheep.”

God started it all. He gave His one and only Son’s life for those who come to know Him as Lord. He asks us to be a part of His never ending story. Maybe we are the answer to someone’s prayers and, of course, we are the answer to sharing God’s story enough to give those He loves a never-ending story of their own.

In between the “Once upon a time” and the “happy ever after”…..there’s a whole lotta living going on – living to love and serve others, loving enough to be a light that draws them to the cross where our Savior died and to the empty tomb where He no longer lives, but is seated at the Father’s right hand, interceding and welcoming us to our HAPPY EVER AFTER with Him.

Once upon a Facebook post, someone told this story with the great expectation that God’s story begins in YOU and me!

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, would not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

The Chapters of My Love Story

The first chapter of my love story began when I was a little girl seeing the adoring love that my mom and dad had for each other. I witnessed their sweet affection for each other. In fact, my dad couldn’t keep his hands off my mom. “Roscoe, QUIT!” she’d cry out when he was waaay too affectionate in public for her very prim and proper ways. They were my first example of true love. I think that’s why I’m a hugger today! Be forewarned!

The next love chapter was the love of my boyfriend who became my precious husband a few years later. What a wild and crazy adventure we took on by marrying when we hardly knew anything about life, but we kept practicing and before long, we had learned many trial-and-error lessons. Actually, we never did stop learning about life and each other.

Then, turn the pages to the love chapter of starting our family -- 3 months into marriage. Love took on a whole new meaning when it produced our most treasured possessions – our two beloved children. We hardly knew how to take care of ourselves, never mind two children. I apologized to them many times for my mistakes along the way. In remorse, I'd say: “Please forgive me! I’m new at this!”

We wrote many chapters in our many years that followed: the right things to do to show love; things NOT to do that takes love tokens out of our “love” bank; setting a good love example for others to follow, and loving each other for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health until death parted us.

I began a new love chapter yesterday when I witnessed God's love in human form. As I arrived at Children’s Hospital for my volunteer work, this precious, beaming boy, in for new x-rays, came to me with this Valentine. I teared up as I told his mom that she was doing such a great job in guiding her boy into being kind to others. A radiologist came by and loved on me with words and action. My sweet girl took me for lunch and gave me these beautiful yellow roses. She knows her daddy and my love story so well. Our wedding included yellow roses and we have had yellow rose bushes planted at every home we’ve lived in. Later at home, my doorbell rang and this gorgeous floral arrangement, that could easily fit at the front of a church, arrived from my son with words “You will always be my first sweetheart!”

I love to give love, and I’ve learned to receive love. I’ve learned that compassion sowed, is compassion reaped; kindness given is kindness received. Through God's great LOVE example of the gift of His Son to us, you and I can be that someone to someone else. We are chips off the ole' block -- and our BLOCK gave to us BIG TIME. Yesterday I was the recipient of God’s love through others. Tomorrow, I plan on planting love and compassion and kindness – not to receive, but to give. I assure you, however, God just can’t help Himself. When He sees His kids taking after Him, He just pours it on for us even more. Every chapter of my love story is interweaved with God’s great love for me. BTW -- yours is too!

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

I love hearing people’s love stories. In fact, that’s one of my “asks”, not just for table-talk, but I sincerely love hearing how couples met, fell in love and got married. Maybe I’m living vicariously through their stories, and while I love a good on-screen love-story movie, there is nothing like real life ones. I know how widow women love it when someone asks us about our sweethearts and “our story”! Might I suggest that you give a widow or widower, and even couples you know, a real joy by requesting that they tell you their “story”! You’ll see a twinkle in their eyes when they start sharing. In fact, those embers in their fireplace just might be set ablaze again!

But, better than our own personal love stories, let’s think about how it goes with our “Jesus” love story, especially when we’ve been quite disappointed by the shifty, disappointing and untrustworthy “dates” we’ve had with others in the past. First, you hear about this "guy" from a friend. She tells you she wants you to meet him because he’d be perfect for you. You’re hesitant about meeting another guy who could let you down and disappoint you. But, she goes on to tell you that the two of you have so much common with each other because he knows disappointment and rejection too. He is kind and generous and forgiving. You agree to meet him, but you’re not quite sure so you remain cautious. The encounter is planned and the day comes when you get to meet him. He’s everything that your friend said he would be. But you’re not about to commit to someone you just met. Your friend encourages you to hang in there, find out more about him, and just spend some one-on-one time with him. You agree to another “date”. This time, something starts happening inside you. You start to get some emotions you can’t explain. You really, really like him…..a lot.

By now, you've met some of his family members -- and they are warm and welcoming and you like hanging around them, too. But, you’re just not a quick decision maker – especially when you think about a long-term relationship. By now, you can’t stop thinking about him because he seems to be everything you hoped for, dreamed for, and waited for. You spend even more time with him and when you do, you see that he’s a friend that you can talk to about any and everything. He “gets you”. He understands what you mean when you speak and he even knows what you’re thinking before you speak. Then, the day comes when he asks if you’ll be his forever and ever love, and there is no way you could say “no” – he has captured your mind, heart, and soul. You say, “Yes – I believe in you. My life is in you. My hope is in you. You are my beloved and I am yours.”

Honestly, this is MY Love Story. Jesus is my everything -- my hope for today and tomorrow. He never leaves me or forsakes me. And, I assure you, that this could be your Love Story, too!
Indeed, the greatest story ever told is that LOVE STORY – the story about God’s Son who left the portals of heaven to become one of us, first, as a little baby, then grow up and set the pattern for loving and living and serving others, and then to ultimately, die for us so that our Love Story lives on forever. The Bible tells us to "give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever" Psalm 136:1. "Steadfast love" describes a love that is unconditional and unchanging.

So as we enter into this holiest of seasons that we hear that Love Story over and over again, how should we respond? We can respond like the shepherds did on that first Christmas night, and like the Wise Men when they arrived at their home. They worshiped Him. We can rekindle this romance as we lean in closer to Him and bow our lives to Him in adoration for Who He is and all He has done for us. We can fall in love with Him again and determine to keep the “flames” of that first love we had for Him burning as brightly as the star that announced His coming over 2,000 years ago. Indeed, it is the "Greatest Love Story Ever Told"!

Happy Birthday Eve! I'm Still Here. I'm Not Done.

It's the eve of my birthday and the fanfare began as soon as we arrived at the Wuerch's entrance and continued for the rest of the night. I felt so embraced and loved. "70" must be a big deal! Check out the crown and sash: 70 and Fabulous! I'm owning it!

Tomorrow is the official day when after God handcrafted me in my mother’s womb, I made my debut into this world. That may sound self-gratifying, but honestly, I’m just following scripture that says “You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind, and you shall love your neighbor as YOU LOVE YOURSELF.” I can’t love you if I don’t love me. I’m thanking God He’s blessed me with a full, blessed and fruitful life, but I think I need to come clean with you today and tell you some of my truths.

I’ve led you to believe that I am a “wonder woman” widow, but the truth is I can sometimes be a whiny, wimpy widow. I may have led you to believe that I’m a “Mary” just sitting at the feet of Jesus. The truth is I am often a “Martha” -- too busy for my own good, AND God’s good. I show you my best photos and the truth is I often use my “touch-up” app to help me look my best. This 70-year-old body still has all its 1948 body parts but some of them creak and ache!

That’s my BIG reveal. I feel better about sharing all that with you, because if there’s anything I want my friends and family to know, it’s that “I am a sinner, saved by God’s grace. I make mistakes way too often. I sometimes stumble and fall (literally and spiritually). I often speak up, when I should be silent and listen. I sometimes give advice without being asked. Sometimes I go overboard in my desires to please. I want to be appreciated and be told so. Sometimes I carry a big chip on my shoulder because someone hurt my feelings. And, many times, I wish I could get my “one-way ticket to heaven” sooner than later. But, I don’t let myself stay in any of those negative feelings for very long, because my one determined purpose is to please my Heavenly Father so much, so, I get up, clean up and tell my feelings to shut up and I have a go at it again because this I know with absolute certainty: app to help me look my best.

I am God's daughter and a lover of Jesus. My greatest love story is that of my Lord and me. I can stand up and keep going because He is my strength and He is stronger than my weakness. He is and always will be my constant. He is and always will be my loudest cheerleader. I was designed to speak, write and declare the good news of my Lord. I was designed to confront darkness head-on with a passionate fire of the Holy Spirit. I was designed to be a leader. I was designed to be authentic and real. I was designed to never give up until I'm taken up. I am determined to finish my race strong.

I take a huge amount of comfort from the Apostle Paul. He said, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-11.

And now, I want to pass along a birthday gift to you. I want to let you know, that you, too, will face some disappointments. You will get challenged and even knocked down. But, here’s the good news for you and me. We will not lose. We will win. We are not alone. We are not going to give up. We are going to keep marching on. Not because we are super human – but because all the power of heaven lives and rests inside of us. We’re still here….so we’re not done! Let’s keep marching, skipping, walking, or running on to our Finish Line where we’ll hear our Divine Cheerleader say to us “Well done, good and faithful servants!”

There’s No Age Limit for Love and Romance

They say love strikes when you least expect it. And yesterday it was proven 100% to be true. Nancy, my “single-for-17-years” dear friend lived just across the pond from me. We were among the first who moved into our brand new Hyde Park community in Tulsa in 2012. And, Bill and his wife, moved into the community a couple of years later. Bill’s wife of 57 years passed away last year and a few months later, he and Nancy started dating. The two of them have so much in common. He was formerly a Baptist pastor with a Ph.D. in Greek New Testament, and U.S. Air Force Chaplain for 30 years and Nancy has been a Bible teacher, piano player/teacher and choir member at her Tulsa’s First Presbyterian Church. Sincerely, it was a match made in heaven. There’s a real plus to a marriage at this season of their lives (both are 77). Unlike their first marriages, both of them have the big life questions figured out: kids, jobs, and finances. When Nancy announced to her son “We’re getting married!” he said, “Mom, aren’t you rushing things a little bit?” Her reply was “Son, time is not on our side!”

I get it. Falling in love at any age is a wonderful experience, but I understand there are many bonus benefits when you’re older. It can bring companionship, encourage you to stay physically active (both Nancy and Bill are golfers, pickleball players and they love to travel). When I was visiting with Nancy after she and Bill had just become engaged, I said “Nancy, are you sure you’re ready to give up the TV remote to him, cook for him, wash his clothes, give up all the singles activities, and give up choosing your own schedule for everything?” She replied, “100%, yes!” I said, “Yes, my friend, you’re in love!”

How blessed I was to watch them “seal the deal” yesterday in a most beautiful wedding ceremony in the First Presbyterian Church chapel in which many of our Hyde Park community were there to witness this joyful time of joining this amazing couple together. We like to think that our Hyde Park community deserves a lot of credit for this union, but Pastor Jim Miller said “It is so much more than that. It is God’s providence, grace, love and His way of surprising His beloved children.“ The pastor had met with the couple before marrying them and so he spoke of Bill’s words about their upcoming nuptials. “It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to raise a senior citizen. My village helped me survive the loss of my wife of 57 years. My village made it possible to love again and embrace this wonderful, unimaginable, beautiful, precious…my Nancy. My village has names: my sons and their wives, my brothers and their wives, my grandchildren. Nancy brings so much more than I do. Her strong faith, her transparency, and openness touch me and others.” Pastor Miller went on and shared Nancy’s words that revolved around “chapters”. “I never thought I’d be married again. I am so blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have this incredible new chapter added to my life. I know these words explain it: Matthew 6:33 “Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added to you.”

Pastor Miller went on “We need to be around people like Nancy and Bill. They’ll speak to how God intersects our lives." About that time a sharp, loud crack of lightning & thunder sounded outside. Pastor Miller retorted: "That is the way life goes -- like a bolt of lightning cracking in our lives and we wonder, does God really care? What gives your life centering at times like that? The answer is the One who carried the cross. (He pointed to the cross behind him.) That "centering" makes the difference in the chapters of the story that Nancy spoke about. There is a crimson thread of God’s grace and mercy in this love story."

I loved it when Pastor Miller held up Nancy’s ring and called it “a promise ring”. Promises are made to keep. Maybe you’re reading this blog today and thinking “Geeez….I’ve been waiting for MY true love a long time and it seems he/she will never come. I think Nancy and Bill’s “surprise” was no surprise at all to God. It was the answer to their prayers because as Matthew 6:33 says…..”Seek God and His righteousness with all your hearts….(They did!) AND all these things will be added to you (And, those things were added to a couple that certainly proved those words). Maybe God is getting ready to surprise you, too!

Love Means Saying "I'm Sorry"!

My word for today is: APOLOGIZE – to express regret for something one has done wrong; saying “sorry”, asking for forgiveness; asking for pardon

Today is the last day of February, the month I deemed early on as the LOVE month. What a better way to end it than with an appeal for us to live in self-awareness of our words and actions. The saying goes "Time heals all wounds”, but not all. Sometimes a stronger salve than time is needed to restore wholeness and full health to those we may have hurt, intentionally, and even those things that weren’t meant to hurt. Maybe it was just a curt remark or some smack talk that seemed playful at the time, but those little remarks can sting and be hurtful. At the time it seemed so innocent in our eyes, but by the look in their eyes, we know we hurt them. The question is “Do we let it go as playful fun, or are we quick to APOLOGIZE?”

One of my favorite all-time movies was "Love Story" (1970) with Ryan O'Neal (Oliver) and Ali McGraw (Jenny). Oliver blamed himself for keeping Jenny from her music career and when he was apologizing, Jenny's love for him was far greater to her. That's when she said that famous line. “Love means never having to say you're sorry". At that moment in the movie, I was moved to tears, but, in reality, “Jenny” got it all wrong.

Love doesn't mean “never having to say “I’m Sorry”, and it’s sure not a line that God EVER uses. APOLOGIZING and expressing regret for the mistakes we make is the language of love. God's love. In fact, Jesus APOLOGIZED for mankind when He cried out, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

On this last day of this month of love, I'm driving home the importance of being a lover. The Apostle Paul told us how: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). And, when we miss that mark, LOVE means ALWAYS saying "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

In our world of social and political hostilities with all of the rash comments, quick retorts back and forth to each other, this is the time when we, who live above that fray, should be setting the example of mending torn and broken hearts. When we say to our brothers and our sisters, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me," there is hope for healing, restoration, and reconciliation. May we let go of our need to always be right, cast aside our pride and say in words and actions, "I APOLOGIZE! Please forgive me." And, by the way, from our heart when we say "I'm so sorry, Father God, for the mistakes I've made and change my habits so I use my tongue to speak hope and favor upon others", we'll see the greatest example of love ever given when He opens His arms of love to us and says "I forgive you....now go and sin no more."

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year -- Not Time for Down and Out Songs or Words

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year to Sing Joy-Filled Songs

I apologize in advance of this post because it's me being REAL again -- expressing what I've learned the most from the loss of my best friend and husband during this time of the year, and how much I want to help others glean from my experiences. Just maybe this is your first Christmas without that special someone in your life. I hope you'll be encouraged from my words.

This is what my first Christmas looked like without my "special someone". It had been just a few weeks after my husband of 44 years had graduated to heaven when my daughter and I headed out to do some Christmas shopping. By that time we had heard every rendition possible of “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” and of course we always thought about him when we'd hear it. We even started to sing along with the song, when we both caught the words we were singing. We said to each other, almost, simultaneously “Oh, no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because he's having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We realized that there were too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for -- to allow ourselves to be singing “down and out” songs or saying “woe is me” words.

Just shortly after his funeral, I attended the funeral of a dear 98-year old friend who was my mentor in so many ways. She rarely missed church -- rain or snow -- she was always there; she always had a kind word to say to everyone. She was just the person you would want to sit by at a table because you never heard her complaining. She loved God with all her heart. It was such joy to know she had reached her heavenly reward -- she earned it! After the funeral, a dear friend acknowledged me and said, “Oh, it must be so hard for you to attend another funeral.” I quickly replied, ”Oh, no, not at all. It’s another joyful celebration to attend!"

Being a new widow, it was amusing AND disconcerting, to hear what well-meaning people said. “You’ll have a hard Christmas and new year, but God will be with you!” “Just go ahead and grieve – it’s okay!” I told a friend that my youngest grandsons would be spending a week with me after Christmas. Her reply, “Oh, that’s good. It will help you get through this tough time.” I started thinking "Wow, these well-meaning friends need a class in “Bringing Hope and Cheer:101." The fact is, I could have chosen to soak up that pity and be pitiful. But, instead I chose the "powerful and productive" way.

Yes, there were times when I thought about the sweetness of our love story, and I'd start to shed a few tears because I missed him so much. But, time after time, I would remember God's words. "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) "...let your widows trust in me.” (Jeremiah 49:11) “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5).

With absolute trust in God, I found such beautiful dependence in Emmanuel "God with me". It felt like I was carrying a new "Widow's Card" that entitled me to so much special treatment. God was there when I couldn't find my passport to travel to Mexico for R&R after the funeral. It was found by my daughter, where my stealth husband kept it hidden for safekeeping. God was with me when I needed to visit our attorney -- after all we had businesses and a humanitarian foundation I needed to deal with. I couldn't find an important file after hours of looking. But then, from a hall closet, I saw some greenery sticking out from under the door. I put it there to make room for Christmas decorations. I opened the door and there was a box of files -- with the file I needed for the attorney. I started paying attention to so many little kisses from heaven because rather than a spirit of heaviness, I had chosen to put on a garment of praise.

Here is how I've maintained my peace: 1) Psalm 16:11 “…..in His presence is fullness of joy”. When I take my eyes off myself and enter into His presence, I live in a state of overflowing joy and peace."

2) Psalm 22:3 “He inhabits the praises of His people.” He inhabits (hangs out) with me when I praise Him. God with me.

3) Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want." He promised to be my Shepherd, therefore, I will not want. He leads and guides me. He provides just what I need.

After seven years, my faith journey continues. There have been many course alterations, but the journey keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. The more I have trusted Him, the more He has given me “Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61:3.

These are the words I continue to give to those who are going through a crisis of any kind! Emmanuel -- God IS with us, so It is possible to be full of joy and peace -- even at a funeral! Regardless of the time of year, God is faithful, and we can make the choice -- pitiful or powerful. If it's powerful, then, instead of those "Blue" days and Christmases, we will be singing -- all year long, "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!"

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

I love the way my friend, Melissa Ascarino Silvestro, Director of Adult and Family Life at my church, talks and leads those in faith formation to falling in love with Jesus. First it’s getting acquainted with Him and His Church. It’s all about a Love Story. Please allow me to give you her perspective of that love story. (I’ve embellished her words with my words -- just a little!)

First you hear about this "guy" from a friend. She tells you she wants you to meet him because he’d be perfect for you. You’re hesitant about meeting another guy who could let you down and disappoint you. But, she goes on to tell you that the two of you have so much common with each other because he knows disappointment and rejection too. He is kind and generous and forgiving. You agree to meet him, but you’re not quite sure so you remain cautious. The encounter is planned and the day comes when you get to meet him. He’s everything that your friend said he would be. But you’re not about to commit to someone you just met. Your friend encourages you to hang in there, find out more about him, and just spend some one-on-one time with him. You agree to another “date”. This time, something starts happening inside you. You start to get some emotions you can’t explain. You really, really like him…..a lot. By now, you've met some of his family members -- and they are warm and welcoming and you like hanging around them, too. But, you’re just not a quick decision maker – especially when you think about a long term relationship. By now, you can’t stop thinking about him because he seems to be everything you hoped for, dreamed for, and waited for. You spend even more time with him and when you do, you see that he’s a friend that you can talk to about any and everything with. He “gets you”. He understands what you mean when you speak and he even knows what you’re thinking before you speak. Then, the day comes when he asks if you’ll be his forever and ever love, and there is no way you could say “no” – he has captured your mind, your heart and your soul. You say, “Yes – I believe in you. My life is in you. My hope is in you. You are my beloved and I am yours.” Honestly, this is MY Love Story. Jesus is my everything -- my hope for today and tomorrow. I assure you, that this could be your Love Story, too!

Indeed, the greatest story ever told is that LOVE STORY – the story about God’s Son who left the portals of heaven to become one of us, first, as a little baby, then grow up and set the pattern for loving and living and serving others, and then to ultimately, die for us so that our Love Story lives on forever. The Bible tells us to "give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever" Psalm 136:1. Twenty-five more times in the Psalm we are assured that God's "steadfast love endures forever." "Steadfast love" describes a love that is unconditional and unchanging, depending in no sense on us and in every sense on God.
So as we enter into this most holy of seasons that describes that LOVE STORY to us over and over, how should we respond to such a Love Story? We can respond like the shepherds did on that first Christmas night, and like the Wise Men when they arrived at their home. They worshiped Him. We can enter into that amazing LOVE STORY as we contemplate Him, lean in closer to Him and bow our lives to Him in adoration for who He is and all He has done for us. We can fall in love with him again and determine to keep the “flames of that first love we had for Him” burning as brightly as the star that announced His coming over 2,000 years ago.

One of my favorite authors, Max Lucado, also recommends this Love Story: "When we invite God into our world, he walks in. He brings a host of gifts: joy, patience, resilience. Anxieties come, but they don't stick. Fears surface and then depart. Regrets land on the windshield, but then comes the wiper of prayer. The devil still hands me stones of guilt, but I turn and give them to Christ."

Love Means Saying "I'm Sorry"!

Last week I shared about a Pastor sharing with a bride and groom at their wedding ceremony. He said, "People will tell you 'Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's garbage!" He was hilarious, but he got the message across -- to be like Christ means being quick to apologize and quick to forgive.

Those words, "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is from one of my favorite romantic movies of all time, "Love Story" with Ryan O'Neal (Oliver) and Ali McGraw (Jenny). Oliver blamed himself for keeping Jenny from her music career and when apologizing, Jenny's love for Oliver was far greater to her and that's when she said that famous line.

As beautiful as those words were in the movie, it's just not a line God uses. Apologizing and expressing regret for the mistakes we make is the language of love. Too often we act out carelessly or say something harsh or insensitive, yet we go on our way and being sorry for our mistakes is left far behind. To this day, someone may be carrying a broken heart because of something we said or did in a moment of weakness.

We're still in this month of love, so, yes, I'm driving home the importance of being a lover. First of all "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.(1 Corinthians 13:4). And, when we miss that mark, LOVE means ALWAYS saying "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

There is so much political and social hostility going on in our country and world today. With the rash comments, animosities and gossip running rampant, never has there been more reasons to say to our brothers and sisters, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." There is sweet healing, restoration, and reconciliation that comes when we let go of our need to always be right, cast aside our pride and say in words and actions, "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me."

Forget the diamonds. A backpack is what I want!

Forget the diamonds. A backpack is what I want!
I read a friend's FB post a few days ago, and I, along with many others, were so touched by this Mom’s love story. It is a love story that her sweet little 6-year old daughter is experiencing. The Mom started her post with….”When a man buys me a backpack with the words Joshua gave Meredith, then I will know it is love.”

That's Meredith and Joshua in this photo. Christie, Meredith’s Mom, a single parent who, by the way, is doing ALL the right things in raising Meredith in a love-filled, God-filled home and environment. She essays her single parent life as a faith journey. She doesn't complain about the hardships of raising her little girl single-handedly. She is so inspiring and encouraging in celebration of her walk of faith. Christie went on to say: “Forget the diamonds, I will never settle for less than a backpack!”

It seems that Meredith and Christie were having a lunch date and in walked Joshua who attends a different school than Meredith. The following are her words:

“He hugged Meredith and said, ‘You are the most beautiful girl I know. I'm glad you are still my best friend.’ He takes the gift from his dad, handing it to Meredith. Once she opens it, Joshua turns to her and says, ‘I picked Frozen because I remember how much you would sing the songs when we were in Ms. Hamilton's class. And since I live too far away to come to Kendall-Whittier again, I can't help you carry your stuff. That is why I got you a backpack, and it is a good backpack, not the cheap ones, so it should carry your stuff really good. And look at this, Meredith, it has a lunch box, too, and it snaps on, so you don't have to carry it either. It all fits together, so your hands are free if you fall, but I hope you don't fall, because I don't want you hurt. A backpack is kinda like I'm helping you, even though I'm at a different school again. And you can think of me, if you want, when you use your backpack. My dad says best friends think about each other and pray for good things to happen, even if we are at different schools.’ Christie added, “Tears were rolling down my face, my heart totally in my throat, as Brenda is giving me a hug. Joshua walks to me, saying ‘Ms. Loeffler, thank you for letting me still love Meredith. I asked my dad if I could ask Meredith to play more, but he said it is polite to ask Meredith's mom first. So, can I take Meredith to Chuckie Cheese one Saturday? I've been saving my money, so I can buy her coins, too, and I'll show her the best games to play and share my tickets with her. I know you and my parents have to come, because you guys drive, but I would like you to think about it please. No amount of counting in my head could stop the tears rolling down my face, nor have I ever hugged a set of parents as tightly as I did Joshua's mom and dad.”

Isn’t that the sweetest story? It almost sounds like a fairy tale, doesn’t it? And were it not for my own love story that started at the age of 12 and my sweetheart at age 13, I would only say “It’s just puppy love.” But I assure you, just as my Mom and my husband’s Mom prayed for the future spouses of their children and completely believed that their two kids were meant to be together, I sincerely believe it can start with us and our prayers for our children. One of the friend's remarks on Christie’s FB page following her post was this: “Being that you have prayed every night, for years, over Meredith’s future husband, it does not surprise me if you prayed Joshua right into Meredith’s life so young.” Another gal remarked “OK, they should totally get married right now and spend happily ever after….now, I say, now. Where did this kid come from? Because I totally want one just like him, only my age!”

Don’t you love this? And as I read other comments, I saw a common thread….all women want to be treated with so much respect and tenderness. We want and need to know that we are so loved and cared for. And we want that for our little girls too. Maybe this post today is to remind us that seeing the results, begins with praying daily for our children, creating a faith-filled environment for them that nurtures the God-factor in their lives. AND, this story about two young children, can be the story for love in your own life, too. God answers prayer. I have to agree with Christie – “Just maybe diamonds really aren’t a girl’s best friend. Just maybe a backpack delivered by a handsome prince is.”

July 8th, 1966 -- Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Us!

50 years ago today, I married my best friend and the love of my life, and I am grateful for every second of it. I miss him today – more than ever. This day is one we looked forward to -- to get to celebrate the commitment we made 50 years ago to love and cherish each other until death do us part.

Those two young kids, so in love, had no earthly idea what was ahead for them. We loved and we cherished for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and though the words said “until death do us part”, the “until” part is incorrect. Beyond death, I still love and cherish that beautiful man that loved and cherished me for the 44 years, 4 months and 8 days we had together (plus the 5 years we had together from ages 12 and 13 – we married when I was 17 and he was 18). There weren’t many things we would do without the other, but this time, God’s plans outweighed our plans. One of us got their “early departure ticket” for heaven. He earned it, and God was ready to give him His best!

Yes, we came upon the “in sickness and in health“ part sooner than we could have imagined. Was it 44 years of wedded bliss? Heavens, NO! It was 44 years of a whole lotta beautiful times, but also a whole lotta tough times. Much of this young girl’s dream for “happy ever after” went by the way side – probably in the first week of marriage. LOL! My sweet husband worked a full time job, carried a full load of college hours and I worked at a $1.25/hour job to help make ends meet. Then at 3 months of marriage, my Sweetheart – the daring, bold and audacious risk taker that he was, announced, “I think it’s time we should start our family!” Bada bing, bada boom – 9 months later we had a beautiful baby boy that added to the mix of our young, naïve “happy ever after” world.

Probably the most challenging part of our first year of marriage was that we were two kids, flying by the seat of our pants, learning each day what love and forgiveness were all about. We’d argue about some of the craziest things. Oftentimes our quarrels were more like siblings than husband and wife. Our two kids learned the word for those quarrels was “discussions”. LOL! Oh how I remember the many times when I had to go to God for help with being a gentle, loving and sweet wife. I remember well, sleeping as close to the edge of the bed as I could get because I wanted him punished for something so insignificant. We had so much to learn.

As I posted a couple of weeks ago, however, our CENTER was God. We were always (eventually – sometimes later than sooner) drawn back to His words about LOVE in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Heads up for the newcomers, and those who have made it for several years, bottom line – marriage is NOT easy. There are some really serious issues that come with the territory. That’s why we needed divine help. The vows that we said on our wedding day, 50 years ago, were real to us. We made vows before God, and we continued to call on Him for strength to make it through those times. We found that whatever the situations were that we faced, God was ALWAYS there to help us through it. None of our issues fazed God in the slightest. And best news of all – He could handle it. So much so, that our journey became sweeter and sweeter as the years went by. The depth of our love and respect for each other became pure gold. And, gold is the symbol for 50. I like to think that while my sweetheart walks on streets of pure gold today in heaven, my life continues to be filled with so many golden nuggets that include my family, friends and most of all, God’s love and peace that keeps this girl cherishing this GOLDEN journey of faith!

So, today, July 8th, 2016, I’m thanking you, Father God, for loving me so much that you showered your blessings upon me to the fullest. Knowing how our story together would end….I’d do it all again….and I’d say “yes” again and again. And to show how thankful I am…..I’m going to continue strong on this amazing faith journey, make more memories with our family and friends and continue writing many chapters in my journal that celebrate LIFE on this side of heaven…..until the day I get to join my Honey at HOME!
Happy 50th Anniversary, My Darling!

Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Those are the words from one of my favorite romantic movies of all time, "Love Story" with Ryan O'Neal (Oliver) and Ali McGraw (Jenny). Oliver blamed himself for keeping Jenny from her music career and when apologizing, Jenny's love for Oliver was far greater to her and that's when she said that famous line.

As beautiful as those words were in the movie, it's just not a line God uses. His words are more like "Love is quick to apologize and fast to forgive." Apologizing and expressing regret for the mistakes we make is true love language. Too often we act out carelessly or say something harsh or insensitive, yet we go on our way and being sorry for our mistakes is left far behind. To this day, someone may be carrying a broken heart because of something we said or did in a moment of weakness.

First of all LOVE is kind, patient, does not boast, does not envy, is not proud, is not rude, but when we miss that mark, LOVE means ALWAYS saying "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

In this political year, the rash comments, animosities and gossip are running rampant, Never has there been more reasons to say to our brothers and sisters, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." There is sweet healing, restoration, and reconciliation that comes when we let go of our need to always be right, cast aside our pride and say in words and actions, "I'm so sorry!"