The Keys to a Happy, Lifelong Marriage

It’s not often that I would post someone else’s words verbatim, but when I heard these (on audiobook), I knew I had to share them with those I love most. They opened my eyes to my own marriage, the struggles we had early on, the ups and downs we encountered and though our journey became sweeter as the years went by, we would have surely saved ourselves so much angst and been on a faster track by following, applying and living by these beautiful keys. If you’re still blessed to be married, I encourage you to print these out and start living by them – especially when it comes to the bumps in the road along the way. You know – when you’re sleeping on the edge of your bed so you don’t touch your loved one or when you’re giving each other the silent treatment…..again or when the “D” word comes up in your conversation or when you or your loved one’s words become less than praiseworthy. These keys are from Karen Kingsbury’s book, “When We Were Young”. The book is so real, raw and relevant to our day and times. I transcribed them to share with you. Here are “The Keys to a Happy Marriage”:

1) Keep God first. By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible. This makes for a beautiful marriage. Matthew 6:33 -- “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”

2) Divorce is not an option. From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist. Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

3) Marriage is not 50/50. There will be days when one of you falls short. Make it your goal to give 100% every day. That way, you’re both covered. Everyday forever. Colossians 3:23 -- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

4) Know your spouse’s love language. People speak love in different ways: gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time. Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow. Romans 12:9 -- “Love must be sincere.”

5) Expect the best of each other. Forgive easily. Attitude is everything in marriage. Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse. Keep short accounts. Don’t worry about being right. Ephesians 4:2 -- “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Colossians 3:13 -- “Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

6) Keep dating. Your marriage must be a priority. Seek God first, then your spouse. Never stop dating and pursuing each other. Value and celebrate your love. Song of Solomon 3:2 -- “I must seek the one my soul loves.”

7) Build each other up. Kind words are free. Look for ways to encourage each other. Every day. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 -- “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

8) Laugh often. Find reasons to be silly. Smile and be lighthearted. You’ll laugh about it later so make up your mind to laugh about it today. Proverbs 17:22 -- “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

9) Live within your means. Couples who get in debt, stay stressed. Living within your means can be great fun. Take walks. Play board games. Visit your park. Clip coupons. Hebrews 13:5 -- “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.”

10) Fix yourself. Not your spouse. Work to be kinder and gentler. Be the person your spouse married. Listen well. Be intentional. Matthew 7:3 “ -- Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And my own final words for thought and application to you: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and love
right on into eternity. I did and I do.

Sometimes ACTIONS Really Do Speak Louder Than Words

St. Francis of Assisi said "Preach the Gospel at all times and sometimes use words." His words describe what I received on Sunday, Mother's Day, from my precious family. Denise and Larry made us the most delicious grilled steak lunch with all the trimmings, then it was Wallace Cleaning and Trim Service in action! Love in action! "Preaching the Gospel" in action, not just words. The team started with power washing my screened-in patio, the exterior patio, front porch and windows. The yard team aka Larry, trimmed all my hedges with the trimmer that my son and family bought me for Mother's Day (purchased with the $$ they gave me). Mother's Day was a family love fest that blessed me so much. I reminded them that they were "caring for the widow", spoken of so often in the Bible. I pray for many rewards to them like God promised.

After four hours of non-stop sprucing up my home and yard, the team finished and my mere pay-back was the chocolate cake I made to celebrate this special day. I appreciate the kind words, the loving cards, the flowers, the well wishes and the ACTIONS that speak so loud. The kindnesses shown to me caused such gratitude in my heart for the goodness of God by the goodness of others. God's love is really known by what we see in action.

My kids knew my love language. I felt so loved and cared for by their "acts of love AND service". It made me think about the importance of stepping up higher to show God's love to others. It may come in the form of cooking a meal, trimming hedges, mowing a lawn, baby-sitting, reading a book to someone, painting a room, washing a car. What if the primary love language in your family or friends is acts of service, and the remedy to fulfill that love need, is "preaching the love message by showing love in addition to speaking love"? It's a blessing to receive words of affirmation and encouragement, but we could sure use "Love IN ACTION" help (or someone we know may need "love in action" help).

Jesus gave a simple but profound illustration of expressing love by an act of service when He washed the feet of His disciples. Maybe it's time to be a "service team" for someone you know who could use the love and support....like I did and like I received on this day.

1 John 3:18 "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

https://www.facebook.com/donna.wuerch/videos/10158633113078990/?l=7834520848867322039

Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Those are the words from one of my favorite romantic movies of all time, "Love Story" with Ryan O'Neal (Oliver) and Ali McGraw (Jenny). Oliver blamed himself for keeping Jenny from her music career and when apologizing, Jenny's love for Oliver was far greater to her and that's when she said that famous line.

As beautiful as those words were in the movie, it's just not a line God uses. His words are more like "Love is quick to apologize and fast to forgive." Apologizing and expressing regret for the mistakes we make is true love language. Too often we act out carelessly or say something harsh or insensitive, yet we go on our way and being sorry for our mistakes is left far behind. To this day, someone may be carrying a broken heart because of something we said or did in a moment of weakness.

First of all LOVE is kind, patient, does not boast, does not envy, is not proud, is not rude, but when we miss that mark, LOVE means ALWAYS saying "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

In this political year, the rash comments, animosities and gossip are running rampant, Never has there been more reasons to say to our brothers and sisters, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." There is sweet healing, restoration, and reconciliation that comes when we let go of our need to always be right, cast aside our pride and say in words and actions, "I'm so sorry!"