The Keys to a Happy, Lifelong Marriage

It’s not often that I would post someone else’s words verbatim, but when I heard these (on audiobook), I knew I had to share them with those I love most. They opened my eyes to my own marriage, the struggles we had early on, the ups and downs we encountered and though our journey became sweeter as the years went by, we would have surely saved ourselves so much angst and been on a faster track by following, applying and living by these beautiful keys. If you’re still blessed to be married, I encourage you to print these out and start living by them – especially when it comes to the bumps in the road along the way. You know – when you’re sleeping on the edge of your bed so you don’t touch your loved one or when you’re giving each other the silent treatment…..again or when the “D” word comes up in your conversation or when you or your loved one’s words become less than praiseworthy. These keys are from Karen Kingsbury’s book, “When We Were Young”. The book is so real, raw and relevant to our day and times. I transcribed them to share with you. Here are “The Keys to a Happy Marriage”:

1) Keep God first. By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible. This makes for a beautiful marriage. Matthew 6:33 -- “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”

2) Divorce is not an option. From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist. Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

3) Marriage is not 50/50. There will be days when one of you falls short. Make it your goal to give 100% every day. That way, you’re both covered. Everyday forever. Colossians 3:23 -- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

4) Know your spouse’s love language. People speak love in different ways: gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time. Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow. Romans 12:9 -- “Love must be sincere.”

5) Expect the best of each other. Forgive easily. Attitude is everything in marriage. Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse. Keep short accounts. Don’t worry about being right. Ephesians 4:2 -- “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Colossians 3:13 -- “Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

6) Keep dating. Your marriage must be a priority. Seek God first, then your spouse. Never stop dating and pursuing each other. Value and celebrate your love. Song of Solomon 3:2 -- “I must seek the one my soul loves.”

7) Build each other up. Kind words are free. Look for ways to encourage each other. Every day. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 -- “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

8) Laugh often. Find reasons to be silly. Smile and be lighthearted. You’ll laugh about it later so make up your mind to laugh about it today. Proverbs 17:22 -- “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

9) Live within your means. Couples who get in debt, stay stressed. Living within your means can be great fun. Take walks. Play board games. Visit your park. Clip coupons. Hebrews 13:5 -- “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.”

10) Fix yourself. Not your spouse. Work to be kinder and gentler. Be the person your spouse married. Listen well. Be intentional. Matthew 7:3 “ -- Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And my own final words for thought and application to you: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and love
right on into eternity. I did and I do.

Smile - May Even Be Able To Break Ice With It

Ever delivered a message or announcement to a group or crowd of people and did your best to overcome those mellow, icy stares or frowning faces looking back at you? You gotta' hand it to pastors, ministers, speakers and leaders who can motivate audiences who are looking back at them with those seemingly unhappy, sullen and serious faces. I know some folks just can't help it, because they have a natural frown and they're not really unhappy. In fact, I often walk past a mirror or I see a photo that someone has taken of me that I didn't get to pose for, and I think "Donna -- be on purpose with smiling -- think about it, and SMILE!" Here are some good reasons for us to SMILE:
1. Smiling can make you happy (even when you're not).
2. Smiling can make others happy.
3. Smiling makes you more attractive.
4. Smiling can help you de-stress.
5. Smiling can help you land a job.
6. Smiling can lead to laughter.
7. Smiling just feels good.

Proverbs says: "A merry heart does good like a medicine,,,,", and we just can't be merry without a big smile planted across our face. This isn't profound, but I know that a smile says "In spite of my circumstances -- good or bad -- I am blessed and I win!" I love that old Nat King Cole song "SMILE" -- these lyrics just confirm what a smile can do:

Smile though your heart is aching; smile even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow; smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness; hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near.
That's the time you must keep on trying; smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile; if you just smile.

I'll take that! Life really is so worthwhile! I'm smiling BIG! Let's ALL smile BIG! Let's give out smiles -- it just may be the turn-around someone needs to brighten, and lighten their day and load! And we may even be able to break ICE with it!