Love and Marriage and Love

"Love and Marriage" seemed to have been the themes in church services I attended on Sunday. The first inspiring message I heard delved into what causes divorce and one of the first reasons was because they starting saying the word “divorce”. The minister said when couples say their vows and make lifelong commitments together, then “divorce” should never be an option. He said, “From the very beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist.” Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Good advice!

He further said, “Every morning, wake up with choosing to bear the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Imagine
how precious marriage can be when each one is filled up with those juicy and delectable fruit.

Then, Sunday night, the minister spoke about following God’s rules. In the Old Testament, the rule to Abraham was: “I am the One True God. Follow me.” To Moses, He gave the 10 Commandments. But then Jesus came and He stepped it up. In His Sermon on the Mount, He gave the Beatitudes in which our dispositions change from the outward following to an inward heart change that says “I want to”… .Jesus said “You have heard ‘You shall not kill’, but He expanded it to ‘You shall not be angry’; Instead of “Do not commit adultery”, He expanded it to “Do not even look at another with lust” and He expanded “Do not take a false oath”, He expanded it to saying our vows mean “Divorce should not be an option. Put a stake in the ground.” Such powerful words for couples AND individuals in our desire to be faithful, true and devoted followers of Christ in our marriages and even in our single lives.

Finally, our pastor invited couples, in honor of St. Valentine’s having been celebrated during the week, to stand up. I nudged the man in front of me to stand up even though his wife couldn’t make the service. As he was standing up, Pastor said “Even if your spouse isn’t here, stand up!” So, I stood up, too! And, as he was praying over these couples and their commitments to each other and their support of each other, I realized “Oops! He was speaking to those who have LIVING spouses." I laughed at myself for standing. When the prayer was over, I turned to my friend and said, “Oops, my husband is in heaven! I assure you! We get along really well now!" Oh me!

My own final words for thought and application to you who are married: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and your never-ending love story right on into eternity. I did and I do. Eternity awaits me AND you!

A Match That Was Literally Made in Heaven

Happy 23rd Anniversary to my two children – Larry and Staci Wallace! I am so grateful for your choices, your commitments and your devotion to God and each other. Today, my blog is dedicated to honor you and your example of a “match made in heaven”. And you followed through by treating it that way from the git-go to this day, 23 years later.

It’s their story that you should hear straight from their hearts, but my attention-to-the-details is what inspires this blog today. I was speaking to a young couple who were talking about getting married. I retold a short version of Larry and Staci’s story to them which included their vow to celibacy until they married. They refrained from kissing until their wedding day because of a covenant Larry made with God. Staci wrote and recorded a song called "Jesus is the Reason" that was played at the wedding. The song explained the significance of how their friendship grew to love and that love was wrapped in purity and unity. So needless to say, when the moment came at the wedding: "Now you may kiss your Bride", the congregation cheered with excitement -- not to mention the two of them, with no holds barred....locked in for the smoochiest KISS ever!

After their wedding, and for many years following, they were asked to share their purity love story at youth conferences, churches and organizations across the country. Thankfully, their wedding, and the marriage they have to today, has continued to touch young people and old, with the sanctity and beauty of a marriage founded and based on God's love being the #1 priority in their lives. It has been one of the greatest gifts they could give their children.

Pictured here is the ring that Larry had made for Staci. It was based on Staci’s words to him at the outset of their relationship. She explained the triangle: at the bottom left corner is Larry; at the bottom right corner is Staci. “As long as we continually pursue Christ individually – in Him we will meet at the top.” The ring has a trilliant cut diamond which signifies their on-going commitment to continue to pursue Christ and the horizontal-cut ruby above it that signifies the blood of the lamb in Revelations 12:11 “They overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” and is inscribed inside the ring.

I heard a minister say: “I tell you where you step up your game in your marriage is to recall the day when you said and made your vows before our Holy God and to each other. Your marriage will always be blessed as you recall the promises you made to each other before God. Live your life every day before God. That will guarantee your marriage succeeds." And, that, my friends, is how I know this is a marriage that was made in heaven. They experience heaven on earth together each day. They are proof-positive that lives whose “center” is Christ – are lives that stay centered on each other. Happy Anniversary, my Darlings! You make this Mama so proud!

The Keys to a Happy, Lifelong Marriage

It’s not often that I would post someone else’s words verbatim, but when I heard these (on audiobook), I knew I had to share them with those I love most. They opened my eyes to my own marriage, the struggles we had early on, the ups and downs we encountered and though our journey became sweeter as the years went by, we would have surely saved ourselves so much angst and been on a faster track by following, applying and living by these beautiful keys. If you’re still blessed to be married, I encourage you to print these out and start living by them – especially when it comes to the bumps in the road along the way. You know – when you’re sleeping on the edge of your bed so you don’t touch your loved one or when you’re giving each other the silent treatment…..again or when the “D” word comes up in your conversation or when you or your loved one’s words become less than praiseworthy. These keys are from Karen Kingsbury’s book, “When We Were Young”. The book is so real, raw and relevant to our day and times. I transcribed them to share with you. Here are “The Keys to a Happy Marriage”:

1) Keep God first. By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible. This makes for a beautiful marriage. Matthew 6:33 -- “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”

2) Divorce is not an option. From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist. Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

3) Marriage is not 50/50. There will be days when one of you falls short. Make it your goal to give 100% every day. That way, you’re both covered. Everyday forever. Colossians 3:23 -- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

4) Know your spouse’s love language. People speak love in different ways: gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time. Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow. Romans 12:9 -- “Love must be sincere.”

5) Expect the best of each other. Forgive easily. Attitude is everything in marriage. Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse. Keep short accounts. Don’t worry about being right. Ephesians 4:2 -- “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Colossians 3:13 -- “Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

6) Keep dating. Your marriage must be a priority. Seek God first, then your spouse. Never stop dating and pursuing each other. Value and celebrate your love. Song of Solomon 3:2 -- “I must seek the one my soul loves.”

7) Build each other up. Kind words are free. Look for ways to encourage each other. Every day. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 -- “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

8) Laugh often. Find reasons to be silly. Smile and be lighthearted. You’ll laugh about it later so make up your mind to laugh about it today. Proverbs 17:22 -- “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

9) Live within your means. Couples who get in debt, stay stressed. Living within your means can be great fun. Take walks. Play board games. Visit your park. Clip coupons. Hebrews 13:5 -- “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.”

10) Fix yourself. Not your spouse. Work to be kinder and gentler. Be the person your spouse married. Listen well. Be intentional. Matthew 7:3 “ -- Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And my own final words for thought and application to you: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and love
right on into eternity. I did and I do.

In the Sight of God and All These Witnesses

Right in the middle of church yesterday, the pastor said “Please be seated. We are having a wedding now. And, up came a lovely bride, handsome groom, their two attendants, and on the front row behind the couple were their children. The pastor said "They were married seven years ago, but today they want to be married in the church in God's sight and all these witnesses.” I suspect they felt married all those seven years, but along the way, they realized they wanted their family and their lives covered by the full blessings of God – no holds barred. Two young people, years before, threw caution to the wind and got married in a "quickie" ceremony because they desperately loved each other and that's all that mattered at the time.

This day they were making a covenant with God and each other for a lifelong, faithful relationship together. The marriage covenant is a mystery of drawing down the presence of God, of engaging His help and power in our lives. Dr. Scott Hahn says it this way: “We are sitting on a stockpile of spiritual power that we have barely begun to tap. Do not be stingy with God's blessings. Do not withhold invoking God's name over your loved ones. Every time you invoke the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, you are tapping into the great oaths that God swore when He fashioned the world; but even more, you are tapping the greater power of Jesus Christ, Who has sworn a new covenant oath, having taken upon Himself the curse for our sin.” We pray that sacred ceremony gives them “sticking” power for many years of wedded bliss.

While their short eight-minute ceremony was going on, I reminisced about a covenant made before God, this day, July 8th, 1966. That covenant was made by my sweetheart and me as we were united in the sacrament of holy matrimony. It was a special, picture-perfect day when my sweet man and I became husband and wife. I don’t believe in superstition -- you know – the groom not seeing the bride during the day of the wedding, or the throwing of the bouquet ensuring the catcher will be the next to get married, or rice being thrown at the couple that means they’ll have prosperity and fertility, though we stuck to those traditions. But I do believe those sacred vows we made and the covenant we made before God, gave us “sticking power”, when, many times, we could have cut bait and exited the drama, and the shaky times when another day with each other seemed almost too much to handle. What was it that caused "until death do us part" to be the deciding factor that created an inseparable, unwavering and unrelenting love that knew no end?

As young as we were (18 & 17), we knew what a covenant before God was and when we vowed before God: "For better or worse" (and, believe you me....we had some "worst of times") and "For richer or poorer" (Lord have mercy -- we had some mighty poor seasons) and "In sickness and health" (we both knew "sickness") and "Until death do us part". Those were our promises to each other and our vows before God.....and they stuck in the good and the bad times. I am saying.....tough times don't last...but tough people who give God first place in the mix of literally everything that concerns them.....is what sustains, equips, and remains forever true.

I’m sending kisses heavenward today because I know that’s where my Sweetheart is cheering me on to my finish line. What was it that mattered most while he was still on this side of heaven with me? What is it that matters most today? The ONE common denominator -- God, Who blessed us with 44 years of marriage on earth, and through all my years on this side of heaven, is still the ONE who blesses me today. He is the ONE who continues to wake me up each morning with joy in my soul and a song in my heart. That “triangle” covenant: God, Ron and me – had sticking power. It was a signed, sealed and delivered covenant! Spending FOREVER with God AND my Sweetheart will be awesome, and FOREVER is a long, long time.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

My favorite fairy tale is still “Cinderella”. The prince falls in loves with Cinderella. He searches the kingdom for her and slides the glass slipper on her foot like an engagement ring. Next comes the story ending: “And they lived happily ever after.”

NOT! Sweet imagination, but NOT reality. It's not how real life stories go. All you have to do is fast-forward to a year later and Prince Charming is no longer charming. In fact, he’s become somewhat boring, leaves his underwear on the floor, the stool lid up, doesn’t put a new toilet paper roll on OR puts it on backward, watches way too many sports shows, belches out loud and, to make matters worse….he snores like a buzz-saw! And, on top of that, he gets upset that Cinderella is overspending on more shoes, she gets so emotional at the drop of a pin and spends way too much time on the phone with her mother and friends. How’s that for a reality check to our fantasy dreams?

Marriages come with a lot of grandiose expectations. I’ll never forget receiving the phone call from my emotional and in-tears daughter just days after her marriage when her husband's underwear was all pink after washing them with a red sheet. A little consoling and directions for returning them to their original color resolved that reality check, but the up and down moments still ensued – as with all marriages. Of course, we all want the fairy tale—the happily ever after. And, with the right emphasis and getting our love priorities in the right order, it can happen.

From firsthand experience I can tell you, true love may falter, but it still survives. When we break, and we do, we pick up the pieces and fit them together again. No, the pieces may not fit together now exactly the same way as they did in the wedding pictures, but we fit together in a new way, a way that that holds us together even more strongly than ever. Trust me on that!

Sometimes we put too much emphasis on what’s wrong instead of what's RIGHT! Best. News. Ever. We DO have the perfect spouse. His name is Jesus, and one day we’ll be in heaven with Him for our happily-ever-after story. No human relationship can completely fulfill our need for love. When those we love fall short, it’s a signal to our souls to turn to Jesus.

Over and over, scripture describes God’s people as a bride with words like these: “As a bridegroom rejoices over His bride, so will your God rejoice over you” (Isaiah 62:5). This is what’s truer than a fairy tale for us during this month of love and tomorrow, Valentine’s Day: We’re loved beyond what we can even imagine. Whether we are single or married, whatever may have happened in our romantic relationships, even if we feel alone sometimes… we are the beloved bride of the perfect Husband. And there’s still a "happily ever after" in our future. It’s true for those of us who have made Him Lord of all…we will live happily ever after. Not, THE END, but THE BEGINNING of forever.

Marriage is 50/50 -- That's Garbage! Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry -- That's Garbage!

For the last three Sundays, the scripture readings in the Catholic Church, have been from Matthew 5 which includes Christ's Sermon on the Mount. The 1st Sunday -- the Beatitudes; the 2nd Sunday -- being salt and light and last Sunday's was "stepping up our game". Well, not exactly in those words, but Pastor Samuel Hose at Emmaus Parish (aka Church of the Resurrection) here in Austin, shared words that inspired me for today's post. Last Sunday pastors and ministers everywhere probably focused, or at least mentioned in their messages, about love because Valentine's Day was coming up.

Father Samuel said. "It's time to step up our game. From Matthew 5's readings we heard Jesus talk about stepping up our game. For example: In the Old Testatment it said, 'You shall not kill or you'll be liable for judgment", but Jesus stepped up the game by saying 'Don't even be angry with your brother or you'll be liable for judgment.' He also said 'You have heard that it was said (in the Old Testament), 'You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, he who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'" Now that's sincerely "stepping up the game"! It put a whole new light on "just getting by with just enough Christianity to make it through the Pearly Gates". God created a whole new standard for us. Ephesians 5:1 "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us..."

Father Samuel shared that he had performed a wedding ceremony the day before. He said, "I told the couple that people might have told you 'Marriage is 50/50'. That's garbage! Others might have told you that marriage means never having to say your sorry'. That's garbage! I tell you where you step up your game in your marriage is to recall this day when you said and made your vows before our Holy God and to each other. Your marriage will always be blessed as you recall these promises you made to each other before God. Live your life everyday before God. That will guarantee your marriage succeeds."

And, during this month of love, I add my two cents worth to what Father Samuel said. Those vows before God are the CENTER for which our marriages and our lives are built upon. When we fail to keep God at the center and we forget those promises we made to our CENTER, is when our marriage and even other relationships can become stale, lacking vitality, respect, honor and commitment to each other.

The newlyweds, my grandson, Braden, and granddaughter, Ruth, are so adorable and so in love after 4-1/2 months of marriage. But what will it be for them in 4 years, 14 years or 40 years, if they forget those beautiful vows of faithfulness, understanding, commitment, and servitude to each other -- if they forget their CENTER? I didn't see Ruth's wedding rings at the wedding, but I saw them this week. There are three. She says they represent "Braden, herself and God". Then she went on to give the scripture basis for the three bands which is a promise between God, you, and your husband. "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12. I loved that. God is their CENTER. God is LOVE, so then, their love for each other will continually be stepped up as long as they keep Him there in the CENTER.

Is God at the CENTER of your marriage and life? If not....He can be and will be when you welcome Him into that beautiful place of FIRST PLACE! The closer we move to God....the closer we will become to our spouses and those in our lives that we love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We Welcome to the World, Another Mr. & Mrs. Wuerch!

And they will live happily ever after.....well, at least that's what we hope and pray for, but as Pastor Danny Chambers spoke in the ceremony -- we all know marriage is never all sweet -- there's some challenges that they will inevitably face. Those who have been married know that to be true. But, on this day, the world is their oyster and a beautiful future is promised to them as long as they do their part.....from this day forward.

Braden Wuerch and Ruth Hays became husband and wife last night in a most beautiful outdoor ceremony in beautiful Atlanta, Georgia with 8 groomsmen and 8 bridesmaids, Barrett Wuerch, Braden's brother, his best man, and Ruth's sister, Rebeca, her Maid of Honor, two sweet brothers who were "Junior" Best Men and a host of friends and relatives that witnessed their vows to be madly in love with each other forever. We'll keep reminding them of that should they forget this day, but we know they won't. After almost six years of dating, they know life can be quite daunting at times, but with the vows they made, the love they share and with our prayers for a "happily ever after", we know this couple will stand the test of time. We're putting our trust in God to draw them close to Him each and every day to ensures that to be true.

What a joy it was for me to "officially" get another granddaughter. Ruth has seemed like one long before now, but now it's official. Their wedding was complete with a beautiful dinner, dance and lots of memories made. Seeing the photo of my sweetheart and my wedding displayed, only reminded me of the covenant my love and I made when we were married. It stuck. And I pray that for my sweet Braden and Ruth. A day to remember for a lifetime. Thankfully, we'll be cherishing the memories forever and watching them live out the commitments they made on October 1st, 2016. I pray that their love for each other will grow stronger every passing day -- that 1 Corinthians 13 will always be their standard -- "Now abides faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love!"

From This Day Forward

We're in Atlanta at last -- celebrating the love and marriage of my firstborn grandson, Braden Wuerch and his darling fiancee, Ruth Hays. Last night was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner -- hosted by Ryan Wuerch and Shawntel Wuerch. It was quite the spectacular affair that included not only the wedding party, but also out of town family and friends -- from Canada, Japan, Germany, and around the U.S. What a beautiful night we had. Lots of photo opts with our precious Braden and Ruth, and I finally got to meet Ruth's parents and siblings (they're triplets) for the first time -- as well as all those beautiful people who love Ruth and Braden so much. Our precious Shawntel was the hostess with the mostest -- The Crossing, a former train station, was turned into a romantic, warm, floral and candlelit haven. Braden and Ruth's favorite love songs were played by a talented musician and singer. It was a delightful night for making memories, as well as remininiscing (a video of Braden and Ruth made by Ruth's sister was played), with an incredible 5-course meal.

I'll never forget the Christmas just after my husband had passed away in November 2010. Braden was always on the phone with Ruth -- almost non-stop over the holidays. Last night Ryan talked about the night they met just a few weeks before and they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. It seemed like just a "crush" at the time, but here we are six years later, at last watching them so much in love, and today they'll tie the knot....officially, as husband and wife. I'll admit I've been longing and praying for this day as I watched these two be inseparable even though they attended two separate colleges, lived in different states, and pursued their dream vocations. They did it and now starting their lives forever together. I like to think that this marriage is a match made in heaven.....with the help of my sweetheart (Papa). Papa sure loved Braden -- so why not put in a good word -- after all, his prayers MUST be stronger there than here. ;-)

Last night was about the rehearsal before this big day. Like other young couples they have dreamed about this day. I remember way back when -- that I told Braden "Find yourself a Spanish senorita and the two of you will make beautiful babies!" LOL! He did. These two love each other like crazy. You see it in their big beautiful eyes and you sense that this is a FOREVER LOVE!

Now, with great expectations they will begin their lives together. I'm so faith-filled that I believe their loving, thriving, helping-each-other-reach-their-full-potential relationship will be blessed by God. Tonight I'll shed a few tears -- I just know it. That's what Nanas get to do. Another rite of passage is taking place today. It will be with my prayers and my blessings. I wrote that on a little note yesterday. "Keep God at the Center of your marriage and you will go the distance together -- so blessed "FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!"

Happy Anniversary, Larry and Staci!

Day 7 of the Month of Love -- Happy 19th Anniversary, Larry Wallace & Staci Wallace​
Of course Day 7 of the Love Month would be the celebration of my kids' 19th wedding anniversary. I'm thanking God for them today! 19 years ago we had a wedding celebration of epic proportion. Larry & Staci Wallace were married in a Winter Wonderland (Staci’s dream from a little girl), with carolers singing, amid spruce & fir trees, street lanterns, bridesmaids carrying muffs, cotton batting snow all down the aisle and stage, and a castle in the background that conveyed their hearts that “dreams do come true”. Indeed all the planning and preparations had come together for an amazing production (literally). The only thing remaining, which we had no control over…..but God did, was for there to be REAL snow outside. And, indeed it did snow – just another confirmation of this match made in heaven. Yes, it was a winter wonderland, inside and out.

The pre-service began with carolers in scarves and mittens, singing and leading the congregation in triumphant praise and worship songs. Sharon Daugherty sang "Somewhere It's Snowing", and recorded music of Englebert Humperdinck singing "Winter World of Love" ushered in the candelighters and grandparents.

Larry and Staci had prerecorded a message telling the story of how they met (in a gym) and fell in love. It was hilarious -- to say the least -- especially since Staci had vowed to be the next Mother Teresa. Staci had written and recorded a song called "Jesus is the Reason" that was played while the wedding party entered. The song explained the signficance of how their friendship grew to love and that love was wrapped in purity and unity. Escorted by her proud and loving Daddy, Staci came down the aisle to Natalie Cole singing, "Unforgettable". She was an unforgettable sight to be sure, wearing a glimmering hooded cape over her gorgeous wedding gown, which of itself, was a blessing and dream-come-true. I remember the day we were "dress-looking" and when we saw THE ONE, with a dream-come-true price tag on it, we knew God's faithfulness -- even in the details.

My dear husband, Ron (Staci's Daddy) was so thrilled to speak the Father's blessing over their beautiful union and two pastors, Billy Joe Daugherty and Carlton Pearson, officiated the wedding. Pastor Carlton with his light-hearted sense of humor and Pastor Billy Joe's gift of evangelism that gave the people attending an opportunity to receive Jesus as their personal Savior, made for the perfect "God sent" ceremony. Later Staci and Larry both said the best part of their wedding was knowing that "their day" was about the birth-day of so many who attended who committted their lives to Christ.

Staci seranaded Larry as she sung "I Believe in You and Me". They both shed tears as the words of the song described the way they felt about each other.

Staci and Larry had refrained from kissing until their wedding day because of a covenant Larry made with God five months prior. So needless to say, when the moment came..."Now you may kiss your Bride", the congregation cheered with excitement -- not to mention the two of them, with no holds barred....locked in the biggest and longest KISS ever! LOL! After their wedding, and for many months and years following, they were asked to come to churches and organizations across the country -- where they shared their "purity" love story. Thankfully, their wedding, and the marriage they have to today, has continued to touch young people and old, with the sanctity and beauty of a marriage founded and based on God's love being the #1 priority in their lives.

Larry and Staci, I'm celebrating your lives, your love and all that you have meant to me and the shining light you have been so to so many others. Thank you for the gifts of your love -- my Payton Wallace​ & Alexia Wallace​ who are following in your footsteps in their love for Christ and His church. And, thank you for being such beautiful examples of all God gives when He is our FIRST priority! Love you both so much! Happy Anniversary!