There’s No Age Limit for Love and Romance

They say love strikes when you least expect it. And yesterday it was proven 100% to be true. Nancy, my “single-for-17-years” dear friend lived just across the pond from me. We were among the first who moved into our brand new Hyde Park community in Tulsa in 2012. And, Bill and his wife, moved into the community a couple of years later. Bill’s wife of 57 years passed away last year and a few months later, he and Nancy started dating. The two of them have so much in common. He was formerly a Baptist pastor with a Ph.D. in Greek New Testament, and U.S. Air Force Chaplain for 30 years and Nancy has been a Bible teacher, piano player/teacher and choir member at her Tulsa’s First Presbyterian Church. Sincerely, it was a match made in heaven. There’s a real plus to a marriage at this season of their lives (both are 77). Unlike their first marriages, both of them have the big life questions figured out: kids, jobs, and finances. When Nancy announced to her son “We’re getting married!” he said, “Mom, aren’t you rushing things a little bit?” Her reply was “Son, time is not on our side!”

I get it. Falling in love at any age is a wonderful experience, but I understand there are many bonus benefits when you’re older. It can bring companionship, encourage you to stay physically active (both Nancy and Bill are golfers, pickleball players and they love to travel). When I was visiting with Nancy after she and Bill had just become engaged, I said “Nancy, are you sure you’re ready to give up the TV remote to him, cook for him, wash his clothes, give up all the singles activities, and give up choosing your own schedule for everything?” She replied, “100%, yes!” I said, “Yes, my friend, you’re in love!”

How blessed I was to watch them “seal the deal” yesterday in a most beautiful wedding ceremony in the First Presbyterian Church chapel in which many of our Hyde Park community were there to witness this joyful time of joining this amazing couple together. We like to think that our Hyde Park community deserves a lot of credit for this union, but Pastor Jim Miller said “It is so much more than that. It is God’s providence, grace, love and His way of surprising His beloved children.“ The pastor had met with the couple before marrying them and so he spoke of Bill’s words about their upcoming nuptials. “It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to raise a senior citizen. My village helped me survive the loss of my wife of 57 years. My village made it possible to love again and embrace this wonderful, unimaginable, beautiful, precious…my Nancy. My village has names: my sons and their wives, my brothers and their wives, my grandchildren. Nancy brings so much more than I do. Her strong faith, her transparency, and openness touch me and others.” Pastor Miller went on and shared Nancy’s words that revolved around “chapters”. “I never thought I’d be married again. I am so blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have this incredible new chapter added to my life. I know these words explain it: Matthew 6:33 “Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added to you.”

Pastor Miller went on “We need to be around people like Nancy and Bill. They’ll speak to how God intersects our lives." About that time a sharp, loud crack of lightning & thunder sounded outside. Pastor Miller retorted: "That is the way life goes -- like a bolt of lightning cracking in our lives and we wonder, does God really care? What gives your life centering at times like that? The answer is the One who carried the cross. (He pointed to the cross behind him.) That "centering" makes the difference in the chapters of the story that Nancy spoke about. There is a crimson thread of God’s grace and mercy in this love story."

I loved it when Pastor Miller held up Nancy’s ring and called it “a promise ring”. Promises are made to keep. Maybe you’re reading this blog today and thinking “Geeez….I’ve been waiting for MY true love a long time and it seems he/she will never come. I think Nancy and Bill’s “surprise” was no surprise at all to God. It was the answer to their prayers because as Matthew 6:33 says…..”Seek God and His righteousness with all your hearts….(They did!) AND all these things will be added to you (And, those things were added to a couple that certainly proved those words). Maybe God is getting ready to surprise you, too!

Where Empathy Makes a Difference

Yesterday, Buddy and I started out on our usual walk when we came upon this adorable little girl, who, from a distance, I could hear shouting "Look, a puppy!" She was so excited to express her joy to Buddy, and he was for her, that we stopped for this sweet exchange.

We made it back home just in time for the family's morning training and devotion that pivots around the current events of the home: a praise or motivational moment, a discipline moment, or moments of exchanging creative ideas on a project or activity. Yesterday's was so stirring that tears began to flow when I started sharing. On point, Buddy came and laid his head in my lap. I get that not everyone believes that dogs have the ability to "empathize", but I sensed it. Many years ago, Staci's dog, a Cocker Spaniel named Desi, was with us during some times when it seemed I often shed bucket-loads of tears. Inevitably, Desi would crawl up in my lap to comfort me.

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, like putting ourselves into the mental shoes of someone to understand and even share their emotions and feelings. Though our furry friends may give us a measure of comfort, there is truly something to be said for others who understand us because "they have walked in our shoes", but even more so, when those friends give us hope. Here's what I know from experience. I don't need someone to say "Bless your heart. I know how you feel -- I've been there." Those words say to me "Go ahead. Wallow in all that pain. Go ahead and take your time in getting over it." PLEASE....give us more than that! Please give us hope!

St. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:4 "That you may be comforted with the same comfort that I've been comforted with by our God of comfort ." Like Paul, in his many testings and trials, we are encouraged to come boldly to God's throne of grace, where His mercy and grace are free-flowing in our times of need. The Lord is able to give peace to our troubled souls and says "Let not your heart be troubled." Our sweetest comforts are in Him. He speaks peace to us and He binds us up when we are broken-hearted. He gives hope and joy during our times of greatest need.....so much so that not only are we comforted -- we have enough comfort left over to encourage and comfort others.

Our story and how we made it through those times is what they need. That brings me to three words we can use to help encourage others. Feel. Felt. Found. For example, it goes like this when I am epathizing with a new widow(er): "I know how you FEEL. I FELT the same way, too, when my husband passed away. But, let me tell you what I FOUND. I FOUND that God is so ever-present to us in times of sadness, loneliness, pain and heartache. I FOUND that He is my best friend that has stayed closer to me than my husband ever could. He is always with me. I'm never alone. He gives me peace when I stop thinking about what I don't have any longer, and I start thinking about God Who has given me so much: the breath in my body to live another day, the strength to continue to run my race because I'm still here to complete the assignments God gave me." Now, that's what I call true empathy -- true understanding of how it feels, but true love that gives them cause to live another day with hope and great expectation for this day and tomorrow. That's what I call being a "Difference Maker"!