Need Motivation? Attend a Good Funeral.

That may sound like an oxymoron, a figure of speech containing words that seem to contradict each other, like “motivation and good” combined with "funeral". Four motivational, good funerals were those I attended in the last four months because each one was a celebration of life of those who positively impacted the lives of their friends and loved ones.

Monday’s funeral, this week, was no exception. This one packed a punch -- of memories of old songs that stirred up the sweetest memories of congregations and choirs belting out praises to God. I grew up on those familiar songs -- singing, verse after verse, without a need for the song sheets. There were memories of family get-togethers, childhood orneriness, beautiful reflections of divine set-ups that brought love and marriage of immigrants to this country and laughter at the recollections. But most of all, I left with desiring to live on purpose in this life because it really is short – in the light of eternity that really is forever, and forever is a long time!

This was the celebration of life of Aunt Iris Litke (my husband’s dad’s sister). I heard it said many times and I see it clearly now. She favored Queen Elizabeth, in looks, style and elegance. She was an influencer. A cousin shared that Aunt Iris gave her love, attention and compliments that carried over to her becoming that kind of person to others today. Another cousin, a self-proclaimed introvert, was greatly impacted when Aunt Iris spoke into her: “You are and will be a great helper to others.” Those words impacted her and that’s exactly her strength today as helping others is her greatest desire and goal. Another cousin recalled her providing the best meals and was responsible for introducing him to tacos for the first time. Another cousin touted "She introduced me to a new restaurant, McDonald's!"

Pastor Wesley Wuerch, another cousin, officiated the service, and gave a beautiful overview of the genealogy of this family that hailed from Austria, Germany and Russia and immigrated to the safety nets of the U.S and Canada during the heat of World War II. A beautiful story of finding true love in countries they came to love, build homes, farm, and raise families there.

Wesley’s most impactful words to me were those from Proverbs 31 where the question is asked “Who can find a virtuous woman?” He said, “You'll find the answer to the question in verse 30: “The one who fears the Lord.” That was Aunt Iris. Different ones said: “She had an infectious smile that invited you into her presence. She accepted everyone. She smiled so much they just wanted to be around her. It certainly gave me the desire to bear an infectious smile, too! Wesley went on to talk about her infectious voice and song. As a matter of fact, this family is still exceptionally talented as I heard 4-part harmony as they raised the rafters in that little chapel singing out songs about heaven. Beautiful, heavenly music. Bottom line -- Aunt Iris loved big because Jesus was the center of her life.

If you haven’t been to a funeral lately and you could use a boost of motivation that makes you want to be a role model and imitator of Christ to others, too, I recommend you take one in and celebrate the gift of life. When you get there, you’ll hear the best things about that person. It will make a lasting impression on you. Just hearing such words of admiration, can sure make us want to stand taller, smile more and live with gusto each day. Concern for how we look doesn't matter in the least -- well unless you look like a queen or king, but I’m thinking I want to represent well the life that God has given me. Only one. Maybe it’s time we all begin today with eternity in mind and the potential words that will be said of us at our memorial service. Maybe it would create the desire in us to step it up a notch.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Jesus Take the Wheel -- Please!!!

I'm home from a quick trip to Tulsa to attend a celebration of a dear 90-year-old friend's life. I thought I knew this man who had blessed me with such kindness over the years, but not until I saw his talents all around the halls and chapel did I come to know I had not delved into WHO he really was. Little did I know he was a renown jazz musician, talented artist, and pioneer in the frozen food business. I only knew him as the developer of the beautiful 55+ Hyde Park community in Tulsa. I loved hearing the speaker say that God had "taken the wheel of his life". I learned that I need to be a friend who cares enough to want to know more about my friends before it's too late.

It was pouring rain most all the way back home yesterday. My sis-in-law, Karen, called and we talked as I drove. She prayed for me: "Jesus, please take the wheel for Donna as she drives home!" I embraced those words because the drive could have been daunting in that pouring-down-rain, but I was completely at peace as I knew Jesus was taking the wheel.

Karen is an amazing and loving care-giver of my almost 97-year-old mother-in-law who can be a hand-full. In addition to the responsibility of mom, Karen and her husband own a highly demanding business that consumes an enormous amount of their time. She remarked: "You know, I often pray 'Jesus take the wheel.'" And I reply: "Oh, yes, I do, too!" I love our relationship because we have each other to vent to when we need a listening ear. We know we are never alone and can talk to God Who is always on our side to give us the super-powers we need to carry on but sometimes we just need Jesus in the "flesh and blood" in our lives. I'm thrilled when we can be that for each other.

At the funeral, I notice a young woman standing off to herself, obviously brokenhearted and weeping. I leave my conversation with friends and go to her, put my arms around her and ask: "Are you okay?" She replies, "He was like a father to me. He always let me sit at his feet and he'd tell me stories. He was so kind to me." I remember how Jesus always had women surrounding Him. He was as a beloved father, brother, friend and great storyteller. Of course they wept when He was no longer with them. This young woman needed Jesus "in the flesh". I was able to be Him in the flesh to her. I say: "Jesus must love you so much -- that out of all the people here today, a gal from Texas shows up, sees you and is nudged by God to come and give you a hug." I ask: "Do you know Him?" She does. I tell her: "Jesus is loving you through me." We sit together at lunch and I see her eyes grow brighter and she is calm and grateful. I tell her to pay it forward now and be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.

Those are times that I know that Jesus takes the wheel from me. When I step away from my agenda and surrender to His plans, He takes control of what matters most. The nudge from God to make this trip was confirmed by so many "Jesus taking the wheel" moments. What an amazing ride it is -- when Jesus takes over and takes the wheel from us. We'll arrive safe and sound......and even have a story to tell of His amazing grace time and time again!

Living in the Joys of Today

Upon leaving the inspiring and encouraging time with friends and family at the Homegoing Celebration for my Honey on Friday, November 19th, 2010, I knew it was time to turn the page for a new chapter in my life. With our children and grandchildren at my side, we would go home and continue the celebration by more reminiscing about the life of my Honey. BUT, WAIT!!!! I just remembered, and I exclaimed, "We need to go to the Tulsa Convention Center to pick up our marathon bibs and numbers. It's right on the way home." We would all be running in the Tulsa Route 66 Marathon on Sunday, the 21st. Originally, we all had planned this day to show my Honey how much we honored him and we were going to move OUR legs FOR him, since he could no longer move his. Now, it would be in appreciation for a life well lived, and to show our gratitude for being able to move our legs. I will never take "being on the move" for granted again.

So, here was the Wuerch Family -- all eleven of us, dressed in our Sunday best -- rather Funeral best -- from the youngest to the oldest (ME) -- at the Convention Center! We stood out in the crowd of those in their athletic or comfy attire. But here we were -- still celebrating the life of my Honey. We were void of sorrow and grief. Folks there would exclaim, "You are all so dressed up. You look so nice. Where have you been?" None of us had the heart to tell them…."a funeral", and I certainly didn't have the heart to tell them, or even to put on the face of "a grieving widow" -- because, I wasn't. Holding my youngest grandson's hand and my granddaughter's hand, I felt so free -- even to the point that I felt a little guilty about this place of peace I was in. For over eleven months, I was locked into my Sweetheart's physical journey to healing. I didn't get the time to run or play with our grandchildren. Today, I skipped, jumped and laughed with them. I could only think about how much my Honey would want this for us. He would want us to be celebrating. He was passionate about instilling this into our lives -- the optimism, the faith, and the "abundant life" that faith in Christ gives us.

Sunday morning, over 25 of us showed up at the Route 66 Marathon, all with our red "Run for Ron" t-shirts on. It felt so good to be so unified. This would be "Five marathons in 55 days" that our son, Ryan, a marathon runner anyway, would run today -- this time, however, in honor of his dad. He wore his red "Run for Ron" t-shirt, and started out his 26.2 miles run at 7:30 a.m. Our oldest grandson, Braden, ran the half-marathon (13.1 miles). The rest of us started out on our 5K run/walk at 8:00 a.m. It was so exhilarating to see our group -- from 15 months old to my 62 years old "Running for Ron". I knew he would be so proud of us all. Not many of the rest of us are runners, but it brought such joy to see the solidarity of our group -- running/walking with such passion -- so appreciative we could.

Once we completed our 5K, we rushed to the Finish Line to cheer for Braden, our 17-year old grandson who ran the half marathon in his personal best time ever. He told me that he felt his Papa pushing him all the

way. When we went to meet up with Ryan at Mile 16 to cheer him on, we waited and waited, and thought we may have missed him, but in reality, we were at the right place at the right time, as Drew -- a member of our church saw us, stopped a moment to pull out a large photo of my husband. He was also "Running for Ron". Perfect timing to meet up with him.

Then we headed to Mile 20 in hopes to meet up with Ryan, then we got the call….a man had passed out just in front of Ryan. What marathon runners don't do, is stop running mid-way through a marathon as it seizes up their legs, but Ryan stopped to help him. When it was apparent he was unconscious, Ryan held his feet and prayed while others were performing CPR on the man for over 16 minutes. He stayed with the man until the ambulance took him away. Later we would find out the 27-year old man passed away during that time. We knew, again, "the right place at the right time" as we knew divine orchestration took place -- even perhaps that my Honey was there to meet that young man when he went to the other side. Later, we would cheer for Ryan as he crossed the Finish Line -- not his best time because of the delay -- but God's best time, because he responded to "the call" of God to be there for one of His kids.

Afterwards, I was interviewed by the Tulsa World newspaper reporter about our "Run 4 Ron". As an exclamation point to our efforts, that article ran in the paper the next day. I'll finish with letting you read this article. To God be the glory and praise and thanksgiving. The first picture below is our family in our "Funeral best" and the next one is the Tulsa World's photo of us. The following words are the caption with the picture and the next section is the article.

"The 'Run for Ron' Family takes a moment for a group photo at the finish line of the Williams Route 66 Marathon. The family had many members run in various races to commemorate Ron Wuerch, who died Tuesday of cancer."

"While many runners said the wind slowed down their times at the Route 66 Marathon on Sunday, one group found the wind to be anything but adversity. "We were giving thanks for everything in our life and the wind was like a fresh breath of air," said Donna Wuerch, whose husband Ron passed away last week.

Wuerch's daughter Staci, son Ryan and grandson Braden - who ran the marathon and half-marathon respectively - and a host of extended family members and friends, were decked out in 'Run 4 Ron' T-shirts.

"This is our way of saying, 'thank you' for our legs, our lungs," Staci said. "Dad had a lot of issues due to cancer, and we just thought it was a nice way to honor him and thank God for our blessings in our life."

Among those running for Ron Wuerch was 32-year-old Gracie Updyke, who pushed her 15-month old son Ryan in a stroller over the 5K run. Runners came from as far away as Canada to support the cause, Works of Mercy, and the Wuerch family.

By LYNN JACOBSEN World Sports Writer

In His Presence is Fullness of Joy

Wednesday morning, November 17th, 2010, I posted this paragraph to FB:

"My Honey, Angel, Sweetheart, Confidant, and Best Friend is having breakfast with Jesus this morning....and I'm sure it's the "All You Can Eat Buffet"! We're celebrating his homegoing last night. I know he was given the "royal treatment" -- red carpet, anthems playing and choirs singing. Thanking God for His tender mercies that made this journey so sweet and precious. And, yes, WE WON!"

And now I recollect this day:
My Honey went "home" at 6:57 p.m. on November 16, 2010. Now it was the day after, and it was already time to begin the preparations for his homegoing celebration. Yes, that's what we'd do -- celebrate his life and homegoing by showing our respect for this wonderful man, with festivity and rejoicing. We asked God to guide each step we'd take in this day.

Symbolism plays such a vital role in our worship to God -- no matter what religious affiliation we may have -- our hand gestures, religious icons, candles, and other various forms of worship. And, likewise I would find so much symbolism in the decisions surrounding the preparations that followed. Our first appointment was with Hayhurst Funeral Home. Jack Hayhurst (Jackie, to me) is the owner/director, and I was his baby sitter when he was five years old. It made perfect sense -- since I took care of him -- he'd take care of my Honey's earth suit -- his body -- for a few days. My daughter, Staci, Ron's sister, Karen, and I would be there, to make the important decisions. Such peace pervaded us. There was no dread or fear -- just lighthearted discussions about this beautiful, precious man that loved, and was loved by so many. We answered all the important questions about his life, funeral desires, and then, what I most did not look forward to was selecting his casket. As Jack opened the door to the casket room, and to my surprise, my concerns were null and void. I felt complete peace once again as my eyes immediately were drawn to a cherry wood casket. We knew that it should be the one --it so represented the part of my Honey's life as a carpenter-contractor-builder, and the wood matched our kitchen cabinets at home -- the home that he restored, like so many lives he had ministered to in his life -- restoring and making something beautiful out of dysfunction and brokenness.

From there, we went to the florist -- Toni's Florist -- Toni Garner is a member of our parish and her generosity and support to our Women of the Madalene (our women's ministries group) and to our parish, once again, made perfect sense to handle the flowers. Yellow roses would be my first choice. That is what we had in our wedding 44 years ago. Since then, whatever occasion we celebrated, my Honey would always buy me yellow roses and we had yellow rose bushes in our garden area at home. Every Spring and Summer we were reminded of our love for each other when we saw the yellow roses blooming. Four yellow roses would represent our children, Larry, Staci, Ryan and Shawntel, and six smaller yellow roses would represent each of our grandchildren in the floral arrangements. And since it's Fall and the Thanksgiving season, the balance of the arrangements should include harvest colors -- oranges, reds, yellows, browns -- mixed with Fall colored leaves. Our eyes gazed at the Christmas decorations already displayed so beautifully throughout the shop. The little bird Christmas ornaments drew our attention, and we thought "how ideal it woud be to have them amidst the arrangement -- to represent our sweet, precious grandchildren". Toni wanted that to be her contribution -- five brown birds for the boys and one little hot pink bird for our one granddaughter. And the final addition, were two red hummingbirds to place on the arrangement from me -- a special representation of the hummingbird feeder that was hung just outside our bedroom window that Ron loved to watch so much.

Our final appointment of the day was with Father Jack, who we could tell, had already spent a considerable amount of time praying for just the right message to be left to our family and friends about my Honey. Ron and I were both raised in evangelical protestant families, rich with the training and love for God's Word. That was our foundation. Now, for 26 years we had been a part of the Catholic Church that rounded out who we have been and who we love now so passionately -- along with the beautiful faith community that we have come to love so deeply. We knew that those who attended the funeral would be from various religious backgrounds -- Protestant, Catholic and many in between -- but the most important objective -- would be my Honey's ultimate goal in life -- to see unity among all of God's kids. "How about Ryan (our son) opening the service?" was Father Jack's first question. "He can explain Ron's heart to see unity in the Body of Christ". Perfect. And when he asked what Old Testament reading we would like, Staci immediately responded, "Isaiah 58" -- Dad's personal mission scripture that was at the heart of his mission in life: 'And you will be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of the streets in which to dwell."' His desire was always to be a peacemaker, restore relationships, and bring about healing in hurting lives. That is what Isaiah 58 talks about. Yes, that would be the one. Then the scripture from Psalm, Psalm 23 -- The Lord is My Shepherd scriptures -- so appropriate, because that is where he has been for many months -- lying down in green pastures, resting beside the still waters so that his body and soul would be restored. And finally, the Gospel reading that I knew was the one: John 12:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." I know that in my Honey's graduation to heaven, the many seeds he planted into so many individuals' lives would be the fruit of this tremendous grain of wheat. And during the bringing forward of the gifts in the service, Payton, our 10-year old grandson would play the piano -- another symbol of the "bearing of fruit" -- Papa was a grand pianist and now his fruit is borne in his grandson.

It seemed everything was being orchestrated by God….and my Honey. When Staci, Mom, Karen and I went back to the funeral home to see my Honey after they had him all ready for viewing, I was expecting to shed a few tears when I would see his body. But as we walked into the viewing room, the first words I thought, "This is not Ron! He is not here!" All I saw was that earth suit that he had lived in and it was not him any longer. We knew, instantly, that he would want everyone to remember him as he was -- full of life, joy, encouragement, peace and strength. The casket would remain closed from then forward. That's the way he would want it -- besides, as someone exclaimed, "No one could get his hair perfect enough!" He always received comments about his "perfect" hairdo!

And the next day, when we had family visitation time at the funeral home, we knew our decision was the right one, as visitors came to express love and condolences, they saw a family that had been undergirded, wrapped in and bathed in God's peace -- the presence of God was there in that room. There was joy and laughter -- no sorrow -- no mourning. We really were at peace. As Psalms 16:11 states, "In Your presence is fullness of joy, at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." The celebration indeed had begun -- in our lives, our hearts and our spirits. Deeply we have sensed the sweet presence of God throughout our faith journey -- and now, even more, realizing this joy we feel comes from that Peace -- the Prince of Peace in our lives.