I Found My Superpower

A friend of mine, also a blogger and widow, shared a line in her blog that I told her “I’m going to own it!” She said: “When my husband went to heaven, I learned to lean into God even more. He transformed my pitiful into powerful. Widowhood is my superpower to invest more time into people and love them and myself into lifelong transformation.”

Don’t you love that, fellow widows and widowers? Widowhood can be our superpower if we get ourselves off our minds and we take what God has given us and invest into others. We’re the ones still here, so obviously, we have things to do and things to accomplish, plus people to love and to help them live with a powerful mindset instead of a pitiful one.

It’s a way of living “I not only can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength, I WILL do all things that Christ gives me to do on this side of heaven!” Oh, I get it. Nothing likable about our loved one no longer journeying through life with us. Nothing joyful about sleeping and eating alone and definitely nothing fun about being the only “one” with couples all around. But there’s another side to being a widow/er. Some glorious, eye-opening, wouldn’t-trade-anything-for-them moments come when we are willing to embrace this scripture: “In all things give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Donna, are you saying you’re grateful that you’re a widow? Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Feel free to shake your head and roll your eyes at this point. The truth is, my gratitude has nothing to do with eating, sleeping and being alone. My gratitude has everything to do with Christ. After many decades of knowing Him as my Lord and Savior, I now know Him as my Comforter, Healer, Confidant, Counselor, and Friend. Unequivocally, I can tell you I have never been more aware of His presence or more in awe of His power than at this widowhood stage of life I’m living. And I’ve never felt more compelled to speak up about Him and His great love for me. Though I wouldn’t wish widowhood on anyone, I long for my friends to experience firsthand what happens when we accept the reality of our circumstances and not only trust God, but also thank God for the path He has laid out for us.

My family doesn’t feel sorry for me or worry about me and feel the need to console me. Sure, they know how much I miss the love-of-my-life. Every. Single. Day. And so do they, but they are so relieved that Mom has a dance in her step and a song in her heart. They know that widowhood has given me: a greater sense of God’s faithfulness; a richer understanding of His peace; a constant assurance of His goodness; a deeper dependence on His presence. Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus – just to take Him at His Word. His peace is my greatest source of charging up my superpowers. His goodness and mercy follow me everywhere I go. His sweet presence that assures me I may be alone – but I am never lonely because He never leaves me.

My beloved married, single or widow/er friends, however this new year has started out for you and whatever you might be facing right now, I am grateful for the honor of encouraging you and assuring you that trusting in Jesus gives us superpowers – no matter if the sky is falling or the mountains crumbling or the wind is raging – we can be assured “It is well with my soul and it is well with my heart!” The great "I AM" lives in us so, of course, we have SUPER POWERS!

Colossians 2:6-7, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

It's the Black Friday Frenzy

I remember when I lived in Tulsa and on Thanksgiving night, I drove by our local Best Buy store. I just had to take this photo of people camped out already for the doors to open the next morning and then they could get their “deal”. No need to camp out this year -- stores opened at 6 pm on Thanksgiving night!

I read that, if today is like last year’s Black Friday, half of all Americans will be shopping this weekend. Aw – the blissful start to Christ’s birthday party. Hail holy consumerism! Rather, Hail Mary, full of grace and truth, and God, who got this holy birthday party started over 2,000 years ago.

The truth is this day and Advent that begins this Sunday starts the most wonderful time of the year that gives us the greatest opportunities to make a difference for Jesus. Yesterday, my Frisco family and I had a precious Thanksgiving Day filled with all the trimmings of an amazing feast and delicacies. We celebrated by sharing how grateful we are for our many blessings, played games, and took fun family photos!

My son and family always spend Thanksgiving Day in Muldrow, OK where Shawntel’s family lives and celebrates in grand style with Grandma and 60+ family members show up. I love that! Today they’ll join us here in Frisco for our traditional day-after-Thanksgiving feast of my Waikiki meatballs and all the trimmings. We won't be taking the time to join in the Black Friday frenzy. We'll still be savoring so many reasons for Thanksgiving.
The key to celebrating the coming holidays lies in the holiday we just concluded.

My son and family always spend Thanksgiving Day in Muldrow, OK where Shawntel’s family lives and celebrates in grand style with Grandma and 60+ family members show up. I love that! Today they’ll join us here in Frisco for our traditional day-after-Thanksgiving feast of my Waikiki meatballs and all the trimmings. We won't be taking the time to join in the Black Friday frenzy. We'll still be savoring so many reasons for Thanksgiving. The key to celebrating the coming holidays lies in the holiday we just concluded.

This Thanksgiving week, we’ve focused on God’s command to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). And here's what I want to leave with you this day after Thanksgiving. I don't see today as "Black Friday".. Every Friday is Good Friday and here is what I wish as we approach the most beautiful time of the year: That we stop to feel, smell, savor and acknowledge the precious gifts that God provides for us every single day. That we fully appreciate the blessings in our lives and not miss a moment. That we take them in and savor them in our senses as if we might lose them tomorrow. And thank our God for the gift of it all. I hope you embrace the moments, the season, the joys and the hopes that this beautiful season of Advent and Christmas brings -- like never before -- even if you enjoy "the hunt" during the Black Friday frenzy!

Being Thankful When It Isn't Easy

In my post, yesterday, I welcomed this week of Thanksgiving. One day just isn’t enough for us to express our gratitude for God’s goodness and mercy for so many blessings. I know, however, Thanksgiving isn't always a joyous and thankful time for everyone. I know that life is going terribly wrong for some people who can’t think of even one thing for which to be thankful. They are hurting way too much. Oh, believe me, I have been in a wallow of self-pity before, and I know those feelings. Of course, we ALWAYS have something to be thankful for, but when we’re in a season of distress, it’s enough to get out of bed in the morning and to put one foot in front of the other.

I'm thinking about the California fires and those precious people who no longer have a home to go to; for those family members who lost their loved ones in the fires. Then there is the medical test that comes back positive. A spouse wants a divorce. A child is wayward. The mortgage company calls in the loan. God seems so far away, and thanksgiving and praise is the last thing to bubble up from our hearts. We can't see His goodness, and circumstances scream that He has forgotten us.

To praise and thank God in those times requires personal sacrifice. It takes an act of our will to let go of it all before a God we sometimes don't understand. When we bring a "sacrifice of praise," we choose to believe that, even though life is not going as we think it should, God is still good and He's up to something good and can be trusted. When we choose to praise God in spite of the storms, He is honored, and our faith grows deeper.

The Apostle Paul set such a good example for us. He wrote, “In everything give thanks.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18. How could he be thankful in everything, in imprisonments, in beatings, in, really, all kinds of adversity that most people would find tragic and unbearable? It is because Paul was a “pilgrim” of a different sort, one who trusted God to take care of him in the very best way. He didn’t say “Give thanks FOR all things”, but “give thanks IN all things”. “In spite of all this painful stuff, I give YOU thanks, Almighty God!" Today, I offer this prayer for all of us, no matter where we are in our heart and soul:

Lord, teach us to offer you a heart of thanksgiving and praise in all our daily experiences of life. You promised that you would be near to the brokenhearted. Please be near to us today, so much so, that we feel Your closeness and your warm embrace. St. Paul said, "Rejoice in the Lord always." Lord, there are times when it's so hard to rejoice, but help us to be joyful always, to pray continually and to give thanks IN all our circumstances. Help us to ALWAYS be able to find the good in whatever we're going through. May the power of the enemy be defeated in our lives through our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. Please change our outlook and attitude into one of joyful thanksgiving for your goodness and mercy. We choose to continually offer You a sacrifice of praise. Teach us the power of a thankful heart. May this be our song every day: “I will give thanks to the LORD because of His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens” (Psalm 7:17-18:1). In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

I'm starting this Thanksgiving week with so much gratitude to God for His love and His many blessings -- far more than I could ever deserve! I am not lucky, fortunate, or merely disciplined – I am the recipient of God’s grace – His unmerited favor because I am His and He is mine. It's not enough to just say “Thank you!”, but to do something with the grace and blessings I’ve been given. And I know there is a responsibility that comes with privilege. I am blessed to bless. Gifted so I can give and that giving may come as just being a bright light that someone else may need.

Case in point. While in Tulsa, it was hammer down getting Mom’s things packed up for her move to my sis-in-law, Karen’s home. Mom isn’t moving fast these days, so we realized, neither should we. We’re giving her time and space to make these many easy AND difficult decisions. After all, she has an accumulation of many years of living -- 95 to be exact. She needed rest from her decision-making on Saturday morning, so I decided to go visit Karen’s husband’s Mom, Margaret, also 95 years old and who lives in a long care facility here in Tulsa. I was powered up to "make her day".

I drove just a few miles up the road to Inverness Village, her home for many years now, and tiptoed into her room because I could see she was dozing. George and Karen warned me that she has some memory loss now and may not recognize me. I gently tapped her leg and her drowsy eyes opened wide, and the biggest smile appeared on her face as she said, “Donna, you are here. I’m so glad to see you!” She was dressed to the nines, as usual. She was warm and welcoming and I could tell I made her day, but, more importantly, she made mine with the brightness in her eyes and the joy overflowing coming from her. I said, “Margaret, you look beautiful as always, but just look at your hair – it is so full and long!” With the humor I’ve always known her to have, she said, “I know. It’s because I’m ‘on the pill’” I laughed so hard and she said, “I love to say that to see people’s reaction. But, seriously, I’m taking a pill that has made my hair come back and it’s thicker than ever!” Then she went on to tell me about how much she loves living at Inverness. "They take such good care of me. The people (nurses, nurse’s aides, etc.) are so helpful and kind. I love the activities -- just look at the paintings I've done. I just love doing that." Me: “Margaret, you’ve got your Christmas up already!” Margaret: “Oh, no. I keep my Christmas up all year. It makes me happy all year.” She had so much enthusiasm and energy that it made me tear up with gratitude for her gratitude.

When I lived in Tulsa, I took communion to her on Sundays. I asked if anyone was bringing her communion and she said there is a lovely lady who brings her communion regularly and then she wanted to show me the chapel. "If you’ll push me in the wheel chair, I’ll show you!” So we took a stroll down the hall to see this beautiful little chapel, and as we rolled along, she waved and spoke to everyone we passed.

After spending about an hour with her, as my typical routine before I would leave, I had prayer with her and as I prayed, I thanked God for this precious bright light that blessed me more than I could have ever blessed her. I thanked God for caring so lovingly for her. I thanked God that her gratitude and heart of Thanksgiving made me even more grateful for my life.

When it comes to the understanding of the value of gratitude, sometimes it helps to look at the wisdom of others. Margaret has learned to count her blessings – a wheelchair that carries her to her next activity, a “pill” that’s made her hair grow, the ability to paint some pictures, her home – be it a room with many family mementos everywhere, her clothes, her children that come to see her, her beautician (she was emphatic about her hair appointment at 1 o’clock). Maybe her simplified life is far from where you and I may be, but oh that we can be as thankful for all that we have in our lives.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18