In the Letting Go

Letting go of treasured times, treasured people, treasured routines and traditions isn’t easy, but it’s obviously the life God designed for us during these times. Throughout the Bible we read about letting go. King Saul’s son, Jonathan, and David were best friends, but life happened and they had to go their separate ways. Moses’ mom had to put him in a basket and let him go to save his life. Jesus had to let go of His place in heaven to come to earth to rescue you and me.

Maybe those scenarios don’t provide the comfort you've needed for letting go of your routines, schedules, plans, dreams and hopes during this pandemic. It hasn’t been easy for anyone who is a planner, a doer and wants to hold on as long as they can. Status quo certainly has been disrupted, hasn’t it?

I’ve been letting go for a very long time. I can’t believe how fast time went – watching my own children grow from infants to raising their own children. I see it as a good thing. It is supposed to be that way. I’ve had to let go of friends as we’ve moved in and out of each other’s’ lives while navigating changing seasons of our own. One day, I held my husband’s hand for the last time and let go as he and I touched eternity together when he quietly went home.

It’s not easy letting go, but God gives us the fortitude and strength to conquer the “letting-goes”. My letting-goes were staged by God in a slow-methodical way. I applaud those of you who had to let go during these crazy, unplanned times and your ability to “bend and not break”.

I have witnessed those who have stood tall -- silent and strong, with arms lifted high toward heaven. I’ve seen you let go of your own ideas of how things ought to be and you’ve trusted God instead. You have let go of holding on so tightly and found the courage to look forward to what God has in store! He has a sovereign plan and we’ve resigned ourselves to trusting Him. We've made it through many seasons and we’ve come out of them braver and stronger. None of us knows what the future holds, but when we raise our hands high in the letting go, we’ll find ourselves looking upward to Jesus. He’s the One who is able to lead us through the heartaches and triumphs of the living, the loving, and the letting go.

Letting go is a daily, moment-by-moment choice. Giving it all to God is the way to come out on the other side as conquerors. I love this scripture: “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37) When we relinquish control, worry, doubt, fear and doing-it-my-way and give it all to God daily, we can be free to be a human-being instead of a human-doing. God is in control. We just need to recognize His authority and let Him lead. We can trust Him with all that concerns us each day. Letting go is scary at first, but the freedom in our mind and hearts will be worth it.

Isaiah 55:8-9 -- “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Getting Back In-Sync

I’m a creature of habit. My built-in alarm system wakes me at 5:00 am each morning. My “routines” are set. My two cups of coffee. My daily devotion time. My personal plumbing system is right on time every day! I know – TMI! My clothes washing day. My scheduled weekly meetings and appointments. My daily blogs. My going-to-bed time. My morning ritual of texting a love note to my kids. My devotion time. I’m in-sync when all is calm and all is bright. Sure there are ups and downs, but they come in and go out – like the tide’s ebb and flow. But throw a kink in the middle of it all and my rhythms can get out of whack.

And what about this ginormous "kink" that was thrown into our rhythmic world? So many huge changes to our rhythms. Lord, have mercy! We have had to make ongoing huge adjustments to our routines, unlike any we've ever seen and experienced.

I had a "kink" last week. My car's engine light came on. Ugh! What does that mean for a 10-year-old car that sports 137,000+ miles? I interrupt my usual rhythm to take it in to an automotive shop. After all, I was getting ready to hit the road for Austin.
I find out that there are $3,250 repairs needed for my well-loved car that was a birthday gift to my husband and I from my son, 10 years ago. A timing chain issue. My in-sync-ness was interrupted. I decided I’d take it for a second opinion, but not yet because the engine light went off. Hopefully, as the technician commented "Sometimes it corrects itself!" All the way to Austin, the light never came on! I'm praying that my Master Mechanic did some of His Master work on it!

I determined to take matters into my "rhythmic" hands that are empowered by God's strong and mighty hands and made some positive decisions. The best part, I realized I have the opportunity to use my faith to make those “walls of discomfort” tumble down by praising and thanking God for so many blessings. “Don’t worry about anything, but in EVERYTHING, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6) Yes, I even take car troubles to God.

Most importantly, I found my peace and my trust in God Who saw this little glitch on His radar screen before I did. I’m still “idling my engine” literally about those repairs and I’ll continue to take one day at a time with making the decisions I need to make. Thank you, Lord, for the slow and smooth rhythms that are so sweet, but I thank You for even the disconnected, staccato rhythms – because more than anything I desire is to be in sync with Your ebbs and flows – in tempo that connects me to your ways which are so much higher than mine!

A Different Valentine's Day

It’s 5 am, Valentine’s Day morning. Nothing new about that. That’s my usual get-up-and-go time to first thing post my blog for this day. But, something’s different about this day.

It’s 28 degrees outside – the coldest morning so far this year here in Frisco. And, I’m all geared up in my husband’s ski-pants, my ski jacket, ski gloves and Alaskan fur hat (all are about 30+ years old). I’m out walking pint-size, Miss Emma, at 5:15 am. She hears me make a tiny noise when I get up and she is raring to go do her business outside. BTW, Miss Emma is my Wallace family’s "super cute", 5-pound Yorkie. Her brother -- burly, hairy, 75-pound Australian Shepherd, Buddy, took to the road in the big truck and RV with the Wallace’s the day before. And, I, who normally have only the responsibility of myself to make it through the day – has this girly-girl Emma for six days until Alexia, my granddaughter, flies back home and resumes Miss Emma's caregiving.

Donna, why don't you just let her out in your back yard to do her business? My backyard is sitting in so much water from all the rain we’ve had recently. My mistake.A bath was called for to get rid of the wet mud. I know you're laughing at this dog saga and me – the one who admits to only being a dog-liker, not a dog lover. At my young, but ripe age – it’s a lot of love for my family that gets me out of my routine for little responsibilities for living beings (including plants). But the walks and having someone to talk to is good medicine on this Valentine’s Day. After all, I could be a wimpy, whiny mess. But, not me! I’m on assignment!

As I’m walking this girl, I think about this “lovers” day. No lover, but a compact, 11-year old, Yorkie (Thankfully, in dog years, she's older than me!). But, I leave her side to re-enact some Valentine's memories when my Sweetheart and I typically enjoyed going out for a movie and dinner together. So, I do on this day. To top it off, I come home to beautiful flowers from the Wuerch's and along with the pooch hand-off, the Wallaces give me a sweet card and a $25 gift card.

I think of the novelty of having my Sweetheart with me in my heart AND little Emma with me. This photo is a cherished one of Emma and Papa snoozing. How could I complain that he got to go to heaven much earlier than we expected? His race was finished on this side of heaven and mine is still ongoing.

I’ve had a love of my own, you see. I would NEVER want to bring him back, but, one thing’s for sure, I am determined to be with him in heaven someday. So, I’m purposing to live each remaining day as if it is my last day on earth. That means I’m endeavoring to spend each day wisely, acknowledging the Lord in prayer, spending time in His Word, worshipping Him, serving Him, loving others, AND loving this 5-pound Yorkie.

I am celebrating love with all of you lovers out there. I urge you to live in the moments and treasure the moments God has given you. Please don’t take those moments for granted. Be brave and faithful and true. Cling very close to each other and make everyday sweeter than the day before. I promise you -- you'll be so glad you did -- especially when your only companion happens to be a 4-legged friend!

A Daily Epiphany

Last Sunday we celebrated Epiphany – the manifestation of the Lord – when the magi’s eyes were opened to the King of kings. I desire a daily epiphany when my eyes are opened to my King.

I post my blog for today. Now I’m in my cozy chair with my throw blanket tossed over my lap. I reach for my well-worn Bible, my daily devotional and my journal. A deep breath in and a slow exhale. It’s my time, it’s His time. It’s our time to be together.

Before the electrician arrives to do some repairs. Before I go on errands. Before I go to Weight Watchers. Before the day’s activities are in full go-mode, I get to be with Jesus. For a few quiet moments, I don’t have to share Him with anyone. The words are always fresh to me. A new reading in His Word and a new reflection. What will He show me today? What will be my “epiphany” today? I take it in like it is a required prescription to keep me alive. After all, it is the Bread of Life – physically and spiritually.

But, sometimes, my mind is overactive with my to-do’s and it’s simply a “routine” that must be done. Please forgive me, Lord, for those times when I only give you a quick glance. Sometimes I have an “aha” when I read a verse that I know was written with me in mind. Other times -- not so much. I pause and whisper, “Lord, open my eyes to see the wonderful things in Your Word. Help me understand what You’re trying to show me.” I don’t want to miss a single thing that God has for me. I don’t want the distraction of the clock or daily assignments to pull my thoughts away from His. I really do not want my time with Jesus to be a quick “meet and greet”. I really do want to pray, ponder, understand and respond.

My sweet mother-in-law, Lydia, has been that kind of pray-er and ponder-er. Every time I read Acts 16 where a woman named Lydia is introduced, I think of Mom. Lydia and her friends are having a prayer meeting on the riverbanks. The Apostle Paul and his traveling companions stop by the prayer meeting. Lydia is already a worshiper of God, but as Paul shares the Good News of Jesus and His redeeming work on the cross, Lydia has an “epiphany”: “The Lord opened her heart to pay attention and to respond to the things said by Paul”. (Acts 16:14).

I absolutely love that: “The Lord opened her heart to pay attention and respond.” Oh, how I desire that my heart is opened to pay attention and respond to my Lord. Lydia’s mind is opened and she receives a fresh revelation of Jesus. He deposits a desire in her heart to learn more about the gospel of grace that Paul is sharing. I think of an old song that is actually a prayer. May it be our prayer today.
“Open our eyes, Lord, we want to see Jesus,
to reach out and touch Him, and say that we love Him.
Open our ears, Lord, and help us to listen.
Open our eyes, Lord, we want to see Jesus.”

May this be our heart’s greatest desire — today and every day! May we open our hearts wide so we can receive a fresher revelation of Jesus. No matter how much we think we know about Him, let us long to know Him more!

Psalm 119:18, “Open my eyes to see wonderful things in your Word.”

I Wish You Knew

This day, eight years ago, began with the routine we had become accustomed to after eleven months of doctors' appointments, six surgeries, many treatments, infusions, pain management and a host of other daily activities. Each day was a new day with hope and great expectations for conquering the events of the day, without being conquered by those events. I wish you knew how our life changed from “normal” to a “new normal” that was anything but normal. We never knew what to expect – perhaps yet another trip to the emergency room to help manage the pain, the fever, or the discomfort. Whatever each day held, it seemed we were enveloped in a blanket of God’s peace. Aw, God’s sweet, wonderful peace. I wish you knew that peace.

I wish you knew how one can weather a storm unscathed because of God’s peace that passes understanding. I wish you knew how it felt to see others living their lives as “routine” and same-o, same-o while I was thrilled to have one more day to trust God that we would make it through another day.

I wish you knew how it felt to live each day with expecting a miracle – that even on this day, I didn’t think anything except that my sweetheart didn’t want much to eat on this day – that he would rather sleep more which I deemed was because of the medication to reduce the pain in his broken body. I wish you knew the great peace it brought that we had a loving God Who we knew was giving us such peace.

I wish you knew how it felt to recognize that this day would be my last day with him as I watched his blood pressure get erratic. I knew it was time to tell him, “Sweet man, it’s okay to go home. I’ll be okay. I love you so much. I'll see you later. Go ahead and “Push, Baby, push!” I wish you knew what it feels like to be your loved one’s Mid-Wife and help him push through to heaven.

I wish you knew how absolutely at peace you can be and know how it feels to be vastly in control when everything around you is out-of-control and out-of-your-ability to do anything to alter God’s will being done on earth as it was in heaven. I wish you knew how resilient we can be in the most storm-tossed seas of life.

I wish you knew how it feels to have spent 49 years of loving your childhood “crush” to him becoming your life-long lover, best friend, sweetheart, and darling husband. I wish you knew how much I still love talking about him, even on this day. Even after all these years later, it makes me smile to hear you tell stories and remind me how he impacted your life. Saying his name is one of the most comforting things you can do for me and my family.

I wish you knew how it feels to be in a room full of couples who love and respect you but you feel like the 3rd or 5th wheel all alone without your person, but putting aside those feelings to living with gusto because of the Big Wheel Who keeps you confident, living with destiny and purpose.

I wish you knew I was not always as strong and inspiring and brave as it looked – that sometimes I was simply a determined survivor. Telling me how strong and confident I was all the time simply made me feel like I had to look and be a certain way to continue being "an inspiration." And, you know what? I did become strong with the desires to be inspiring and brave and not just being a survivor, but a thriver.

I wish you knew that people aren't replaceable and new chapters don't mean we've forgotten or stopped loving them. What's new is new, and it's amazing and beautiful and provides new stories and life, but has nothing to do with the memories that will stay with you forever and the memories that made you live a worthwhile life of making a difference in other people’s lives.

I wish you knew the difference of being a weeping, whiny, and wailing widow to a confident, peace-filled widow who doesn’t forget the past but realizes all the times of the past that made her the capable, faith and peace filled woman she is today. I wish you knew not to waste your life because time is so very short.

I wish you knew how grateful I am for those of you who lifted us up in prayer, who still lift me up in prayer, who do life with me and encourage me with your words of cheer.

I wish you knew that life is worth living until we get to experience real life forever on the other side where we’ll meet up with our loved ones who are cheering us on from heaven’s grandstands.

I wish you knew this peace I know. It's yours for the taking: Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on You because they trust in You."

I wish you knew.......

God Help Me! My Routine Went AWOL!

Routine: sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program, practice, pattern, regimen, plan, habits, schedule

My routine, first thing each morning, is to send a text message to my children, and my sister-in-law. Just a few love words to let them know that I was thinking about them and praying for them. My next morning routine is to go to my office and tap the SEND icon on my Facebook post and PUBLISH on my blog post. Then I quickly scan some of my friends’ activity on FB. Yesterday, I was shocked to see that my wonderful Tulsa dentist, Dr. Mark Tiernan, had passed away. Dr. Mark was a dear friend, amazing and fearless man of integrity and honor, missionary to nations to give his love away while providing his dental skills to those in need and precious man of God. Heaven just got sweeter.

My next routine is to make my way to the fitness center. I sat down at the stationary bike, inserted my ear plugs and turned on the TV. I should have avoided the news, the bickering and the sensational soundbites. I saw Mark Zuckerburg (Facebook’s creator) giving testimony to Congress about the data breaches that have made global headlines in recent weeks. I hope Congress and Mark can figure it all out and get their ROUTINES fixed, because whatever was wrong, FB is my mission field.

It doesn’t take long to deal with my own emotions, hear personal news from family and friends, along with the daily news, that the weight of the world invades my mind. I returned home from my work out and I was bombarded with those weights – not from the gym, but the world. I began to do the ugly cry – for my friends, my family, my world AND ME! I was having one of THOSE mornings. My upbeat, joy-filled, press-on, unwavering, tenacious attitude AND ROUTINE was interrupted with a wave of doubt, unbelief and concern. I was drenched in a puddle of self-pity.

I rushed to my journal, another routine, and I began to write: “My feelings hurt! I’m too sensitive. I’m too fleshly. I'm weary. I feel so weak. Restore my soul, oh Lord. Renew a right spirit within me. Lord, PLEASE HELP ME!” I quickly went to another of my morning routines, my Bible and my devotional booklet. Up popped these scriptures from Psalm 34, and, soon, all was well.
~ “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall ever be in my mouth.”
~ "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”
~ “Look to Him that you may be radiant with joy and your faces may not blush with shame."
~ “Taste and see how good the Lord is; blessed the man who takes refuge in Him."

Thanks be to God. I could breathe again. I’m so thankful that the Bible goes to great lengths to show us that all the people on its pages were ordinary and average, doing one little thing after another, rooted in trust, grounded in good news, and drenched in fear or hopelessness. Even people like Moses, Noah, Abraham and Sarah had their weaknesses and made their missteps. The only one who rose above it all was Jesus. As for the rest of the people in all the stories of the Bible, God filled them up with His Holy Spirit and breathed life into their ROUTINES, their dreams and their plans, and God, through ordinary people who did ordinary things, made miracles happen that changed the world for good.

Maybe today, your ROUTINE is out of whack. You also long for the “all is well” state of being. Take heart, my friends. All IS well. We just need to keep breathing….deeply. We do our part. We fight the good fight. We keep looking up. We can count on God's ROUTINE...He is ALWAYS faithful.

The Bright Light of Christmas is With Us

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While "The Wallace's" and I were driving home from Austin yesterday, I was already thinking "I'm going to take down my Christmas decor' as soon as possible since I'll be going out of town next week and I want to come back home to a fresh clean slate in the new year of new beginnings and new conquests."

But, when I drove down my street -- the Christmas lights were still glowing on my neighbors' homes, and my home. I walked into my home and I started putting on the Christmas lights because I wanted "that atmosphere" to linger a little longer. Yes, all the anticipation and excitement of the Christmas season is rapidly coming to a close, but the joy and peace of Christmas is still very present. I’m still captivated by the Christmas lights that are still glowing brightly and and the sweet and tender Christmas atmosphere. The reality is the reassurance we have that the atmosphere of Christmas will remain if we continue to acknowledge that the babe in the manger is no longer a baby. He is here with us because He is Emmanuel, “God with us”!

All thirteen of us, together, in Austin, made for lots of laughter and high energy that included all of us going to see a Christmas movie, eating in and eating out, the children running around, lots of picture taking, sweet conversations and many hugs and kisses. From all that activity to walking into my quiet, non-busy home could really be a downer if I dwelt on who and what I didn't have. I could dwell on being alone or even lonely. My main word of encouragement for many friends and ME, during this season has been "Emmanuel" (God with us). Many have been going through "stuff" and it is still my word for all of us. We are never alone, because God is with us. He cares. He loves. He gives. He holds.

Today, I will return to my daily routine of spending time with Jesus as I pray, praise, read His Word and take notes on what He's saying back to me. Maybe I'll spend a few minutes or many minutes -- it doesn't matter to Him, but it does to me. I need Him like I need breath to breathe. When I breathe Him (His presence) in -- He brings me peace. He is with me during my everyday life. I purpose to live my days remembering that God is with me, so as anyone that would be a passenger in my car, or a guest at my dinner table, I will talk to Him. I will talk to Him about any, and everything. I will thank Him for the “favors” that come, like green lights, the parking places close to the doors of the store, the “bargains” that I may find. Because I stay close to Him during my days, when the times of unexpected challenges come, I just remember, I’m not facing anything alone, because God is with me…..and I feel His peace right away. I know He will bring about what’s best for me. I urge you to KNOW Him – to know Emmanuel – He is with me – He is with YOU!

I desire to get so caught up in "God With Me" this year. My main goal for 2018 is to become more desperate for God than I have ever been before -- not because I am in a crisis-or-needy-mode, but because I want more of Him, and less of me. I desire Emmanuel -- God with me -- morning, noon and night.....and all the in-between time. This is one of my favorite songs that describes breathing in the holy presence of God. Please listen, soak it up and may it resonate with you and perhaps it will become your song too. The bright LIGHT of Christmas is WITH US!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTzXpzSXtdQ

Joy of Life Bandwagon

I'm still on the joy-of-life bandwagon to help others (those who get all caught up in the seriousness and practical demands of life) get back the joy of life.They get focused on making a living and they succumb to everyday routine. They forget the child within them and they lose a lot of the flavor and spice of life. They don’t stop to smell the roses, to be struck with wonder anymore, like they did as children.

And, then there are those of us who NEVER forget, who keep that youthful pleasure and joy of life alive throughout the entire length of their lives. I'm purposing to be one of those. I love being silly with my grandkids. I love belly laughing with them. I love going to movies with them, swimming with them, fishing with them, playing badminton with them, racing them to see who can win (once upon a time, I let them win -- not any more -- but I at least put forth the effort - LOL).

And, I love being a part of a community that feels the way I do. We play pickleball, tennis, we run, walk, and work out regularly. We take great joy in play. Yes, that’s right. We still play with the gusto that is most natural to kids. Play is purposeful. Its end is joy. We are showing others a clear wisdom about life. We love life and the gift of joy that is possible to have. Life is a gift to be celebrated.

And, here's the truth of the matter -- none of us are free from life’s tragedies, pressures, or even suffering. We have known the sorrow of loss, the fears and challenges of illness, but none of this has crushed our child-like playfulness. We are proving that true happiness can even be experienced in the midst of life’s challenges.

We are showing how to be more like the “little children” that Jesus said we must be more like in order to enter the Kingdom of God. I think if you watch us, and listen to our words and attitudes, you just may learn something about how to live life fully, with great joy and gusto, too! Ready to get on the joy-of-life bandwagon with me?