In the Letting Go

Letting go of treasured times, treasured people, treasured routines and traditions isn’t easy, but it’s obviously the life God designed for us during these times. Throughout the Bible we read about letting go. King Saul’s son, Jonathan, and David were best friends, but life happened and they had to go their separate ways. Moses’ mom had to put him in a basket and let him go to save his life. Jesus had to let go of His place in heaven to come to earth to rescue you and me.

Maybe those scenarios don’t provide the comfort you've needed for letting go of your routines, schedules, plans, dreams and hopes during this pandemic. It hasn’t been easy for anyone who is a planner, a doer and wants to hold on as long as they can. Status quo certainly has been disrupted, hasn’t it?

I’ve been letting go for a very long time. I can’t believe how fast time went – watching my own children grow from infants to raising their own children. I see it as a good thing. It is supposed to be that way. I’ve had to let go of friends as we’ve moved in and out of each other’s’ lives while navigating changing seasons of our own. One day, I held my husband’s hand for the last time and let go as he and I touched eternity together when he quietly went home.

It’s not easy letting go, but God gives us the fortitude and strength to conquer the “letting-goes”. My letting-goes were staged by God in a slow-methodical way. I applaud those of you who had to let go during these crazy, unplanned times and your ability to “bend and not break”.

I have witnessed those who have stood tall -- silent and strong, with arms lifted high toward heaven. I’ve seen you let go of your own ideas of how things ought to be and you’ve trusted God instead. You have let go of holding on so tightly and found the courage to look forward to what God has in store! He has a sovereign plan and we’ve resigned ourselves to trusting Him. We've made it through many seasons and we’ve come out of them braver and stronger. None of us knows what the future holds, but when we raise our hands high in the letting go, we’ll find ourselves looking upward to Jesus. He’s the One who is able to lead us through the heartaches and triumphs of the living, the loving, and the letting go.

Letting go is a daily, moment-by-moment choice. Giving it all to God is the way to come out on the other side as conquerors. I love this scripture: “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37) When we relinquish control, worry, doubt, fear and doing-it-my-way and give it all to God daily, we can be free to be a human-being instead of a human-doing. God is in control. We just need to recognize His authority and let Him lead. We can trust Him with all that concerns us each day. Letting go is scary at first, but the freedom in our mind and hearts will be worth it.

Isaiah 55:8-9 -- “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Since He's All-Sufficient, I Don't Have to Be

As an independent gal for almost ten years now, I like to call myself self-sufficient, self-supporting, self-reliant, self-sustaining. But, even as I type those words, they sound very “self”-minded! Lord knows – I want to be others minded – NOT self-minded. For example, when offered help out of my son’s big duly Ford F-350, I have been known to say “not yet” – as I slowly maneuver that 3 feet down out of the back seat by myself.

But, I did take hold of my grandson's hand when we were traversing the canyons and caverns of Reimer's Park. I'm no dummy! I really do know when I need to humble-up and admit when I need help. But, I loved it when I saw a tree branch that we could turn into a great walking stick to help me scale those boulders. Back to my independent self again! Oh, I get it! I, undoubtedly, will relent from my self-reliance the more mature I get. I'm already doing that when I get up in the morning and move slower than I once did. That's why I quickly get to my morning walk to get these body-parts moving and grooving.

I’m revisiting the times when my sweet mama had to depend on us more as she “matured”. She was super independent and only after she fell at age 94, did she submit. Then there’s my dear 97-year-old mother-in-law, who had been independent for years after dad passed away, but is now extremely dependent on her kids and her walker and even sometimes, her wheelchair. It came with great difficulty to relinquish her independence, but now she gladly allows us to help her out.

Funny how, in this independent mindset that we hold on to for so long, we become almost too good at being self-sufficient. I’m guilty as charged. Fortunately, there have been very few things that I couldn’t do myself, especially in this age of being able to google just about anything. DIY is my go-to in most instances and thank God for the internet that has been my bestie in so many occasions. In fact, last night I used Google to figure out how to fix the loose stitching on my sewing machine. And, whoa-la, it worked. Stitch – fixed!

Self-sufficiency might be an admirable quality to strive for, but now I'm thinking I need to guard myself against becoming too good at it. I’ll admit it – asking for help humbles me. Perhaps I need humbling – because this self-sufficiency almost crosses the line of being selfish in accepting the kindness of others and may even keep them from being blessed.

And, perhaps, our self-sufficiency keeps us from an intimate, close relationship with our Lord Who is the ALL-Sufficient One, "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work" (2 Corinthians 9.8).

The All-Sufficiency of God means He is a God of infinite riches of wisdom, goodness, and power. And His “all-sufficiency” is available to His kids as a treasure chest of blessings. That means we can let go of our self-sufficiency and receive the all-encompassing sufficiency of our God.

Our Heavenly Father longs to have that close relationship with us. He wants us to ask Him for help. He wants to save us from a lot of the mistakes we'll make without His wisdom. It’s easy to rely on our own strength, our own ability, and our own wisdom — so much so that we no longer reach out to our Father and let Him in to help us. It’s so easy to start to leave Him out of our daily life, decisions and activities, and only run to Him when there’s a big crisis. Even in the thick of our daily challenges and struggles, God is right there to lay His gentle hand on our shoulder to say “Let Me help you with that.” He’s hoping we will let Him help. He never stops loving us or wanting that relationship with us, even when we feel like we should have it all together by now. I don’t like calling out for help to anyone, but I’m seeing that there are times when I must. In the same way, God is a mere call away when we call upon Him.

Psalm 91:15 “Call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you.

No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!

No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!
Self-Sufficiency - self-supporting, self-reliant, self-sustaining,

"I’ve watched my dear 95-year-old mother-in-law, who has been quite independent for years, now be willing to let go of that self-sufficiency. Since she uses a walker, I offered to carry her purse and she’d reply “I can carry it myself!” Now, she let’s us carry it, and, recently, has even succumbed to allowing us to push her in a wheel chair when she leaves the house. It came with great difficulty to relinquish her independence, but now she gladly allows us to help her out.

Funny how, in this independent mindset that we hold on to for so long, we become almost TOO GOOD at being self-sufficient. I’m guilty as charged. Fortunately, there have been very few things that I couldn’t do myself, especially in this age of being able to google just about anything to DIY (do it yourself). In fact, I just had to use google to figure out how to put a spray tank together so I could spray some of my bushes for insects. Whoa la! Done!

Because of Dr. Google, I can tell my doctor what my health issue is even before he tells me. With google and other sources, I have become a master problem solver. Whenever I face difficulties that seem insurmountable, I stick with it until I find a solution. I am determined to find a way to manage difficulties without needing much help from others or being a burden to anyone else.

Typically, self-sufficiency would be considered an admirable quality to strive for, but now I'm thinking I need to guard myself against becoming too good at it. I don’t want to bother anyone else to have to help me. I feel like I should be capable and strong enough to make things happen and roll with the results without falling apart. I’ll admit it -- it’s been difficult to humble myself to ask for help or guidance, even when I need the support. But, I do have to call in help to pull down my attic stairs which are heavy, high and, clearly, are a hazard. I sure don't want my family to have to deal with a bruised, broken or lacerated Mom/Nana.

How well I remember the independence of my children and grandchildren when they were toddlers. They wanted to do everything themselves — except for when they didn’t want to do something, like clean up their toys or eat their veggies. I wanted to help them grow and I wanted to fix things and prevent difficulties for them. It's the plan to give them the tools they need to make wise choices so they can grow up to be self-sufficient. Sometimes that means letting them fall down so they can learn and grow from their own mistakes, even though we’d rather protect them from falling. Nevertheless, we are there to protect them even when they fall.

Our Heavenly Father longs to have that close relationship with us. He wants to help. He wants to save us from a lot of the mistakes we'll make without His wisdom. He wants us to be dependent on Him. It’s easy to rely on our own strength, our own ability, and our own wisdom — so much so that we no longer reach out to our Father and let Him in to help us. It’s so easy to start to leave Him out of our daily life, decisions and activities, and only run to Him when there’s a big crisis.

Even in the thick of our daily challenges and struggles, God is right there to lay His gentle hand on our shoulder to say “Let Me help you with that.” He’s hoping we will let Him help. He never stops loving us or wanting that relationship with us, even when we feel like we should have it all together by now. I don’t like calling out for help to anyone, but I’m seeing that there are times when I must. In the same way, God is a mere call away when we call upon Him.

Psalm 91:15 “Call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you.”

By the way, I am delighted that I'm NOT so independent that I can yield to my children's wishes this weekend, when they're giving me my Mother's Day present in the form of power washing my patios, garage, driveways and windows. Yes, I'm still a "smart cookie"....I know when to DIY AND when to submit to the joys and blessings of motherhood -- and relinquish my self-sufficient spirit!

I Can Do It Myself

I remember when my son was just learning to walk. Already, before he was completely steady on his two little feet, he had already gained the "I can do it myself" mentality. He'd try to pull his hand away from our clutches. On one occasion, we were walking down a slight incline and I was holding tight to his little hand to protect and guide him, but he managed to pull out of my grip. In about two or three steps, he lost his balance and footing, fell and rolled down the hill. When he got to the bottom, lying on his back, he looked up at me and asked "Why did you do that?"

Isn't that just the way we are? Do you remember a time when you were doing your best, on your own, to make it? We want to do it "my way", but when we do, and the outcome is less successful than we expected, we look up to God and say, "Why did you do that?" The fact is, God doesn't ever let go of us, but we pull away and say "I can do it myself. I'll lead. You follow Me!" Oh that we would hold on tight to God's plans, wishes and desires for our lives When we hold His hands, we are assured of His provision, His protection, and His peace. "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes before you. He will never leave you or forsake you." Dueteronomy 31:6

If we've prided ourselves on not needing anyone, or have just feared trusting another person because of disappointment or betrayal, God wants to more than make up for our disappointment in someone else by showing us, in His Word, that He's the most reliable One we could ever depend on.

God is the One who protects us and keeps us safe. The Psalmist tells us: "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8.

Whether it's protecting us, providing for us, or helping us to work out our troubles, God can be trusted to care for His own. I never want to be so independent, that I forget Who is my everything. My dependence is on Him. So, let's grab hold tight to his loving hands and arms. He assures us that He'll help to make our rough places smooth and our winding places straight! Back to where I started, my little guy got a little upset because "he let go", but look at what God says to us even when we let go of His grasp: Psalms 121:2,3 assures us "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth He will not let your foot slip -- He who watches over you, will not slumber."

What if our daily decisions, actions and reactions were always led by "What Would Jesus Do?"

Yesterday, Larry (Staci's husband and I call him "my son"), was asked to be the speaker for the Regional Speech & Debate morning devotions here at Concordia University in Austin. I don't think I was ever prouder of him than I was of him, this day. Larry told his story to the students.

His dad left him and his mother when he was just a baby so he grew up being raised by a single mom that had to resort to working three jobs just to make ends meet for her and her young son. She had to make choices that weren't easy. For example, there was the time when she didn't have enough funds for child care so Larry was a "latch-key" kid, coming home from school to fend for himself -- cook, wash his own clothes and overall take care of himself. There was also the time when she bought a season pass to Six Flags Over Texas and she would drop Larry off daily as a sort of baby sitter while she went to work.

Later on, Larry's Mom told him that if he wanted to go to college he would have to get a scholarship or earn enough money, himself, to go to college. He knew he didn't have the academic ability for a scholarship (LOL! The kids laughed here), so he began to pursue athletics -- particularly, football. Larry's coach, who was also their neighbor, saw him hanging out with the "wrong crowd" and he walked over to Larry, pulled him aside and pushed him against the wall and said, "Larry, if you want to make something out of your life, you've got to stop hanging out with the wrong crowd." It was such an impactful conversation, that Larry made the decision to become the best version of himself that he could. He changed his friends, changed the things he was doing and began to work hard. That coach's support and encouragement in football and life paved the way for him to get a 4-year scholarship to Texas A&M, from 1989 to 1993. That was a great season of football at A&M. Their team went to 5 post-season bowl games, 2 pre-season bowl games, won 3 Southwest conference championships. Larry played defense and his team's defense was ranked #1 while he attended there. Larry went on to receive his Engineering Degree from A&M.

Even after graduating, "being the best version of himself" continued to be his mode of operation in life. He realized that he didn't come from a 2-parent family, or a family of means like many around him had. He could have looked at himself as deprived, rejected, troubled, lost, forgotten -- but he didn't. He knew that nothing defined who was except for who he believed God made him to be.

He went on to talk about the 90s bracelet and slogan (still around today) -- "What Would Jesus Do?" Though he wasn't raised in an environment of believing and serving God and attending church, he met his wife (my Staci) and attended a Bible Study she was teaching, gave his life to Christ and "What Would Jesus Do?" became the mode of operation that he would continue to live out in his life today in order to be the best version of himself. Larry went on to encourage the students that even in Speech & Debate Tournaments, competition is stiff, attitudes and actions can be on the edge toward their competitors and how they are being judged, but still, the higher calling and to be the best version of themselves is to always apply "What Would Jesus Do?" in every situation, conflict, and circumstance here or at home or in any place in life.

I like to think that way back when Larry's dear mom made the sacrifices she did for her boy and instilled hard work ethics into him, God was already working out His perfect plan for his life. That's just the God we serve. Jeremiah 29:11 "Oh the plans I have for you," says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future" was already at work in him when he was a latch-key kid, becoming responsible and able to be independent. God was at work in him when his coach became a male role model that would point him to doing what's right. God was at work in him when he moved to Tulsa for work and met my daughter and received Christ into his life. God was at work in him as he has become the most incredible husband, dad and even son to me, and who is the role model to so many others in business, in life and in his walk with God. Yes, Larry became the best version of himself.....What Would Jesus Do? not only was his mode of operation way back when, but it lives out in him daily. Maybe we should start living "What Would Jesus Do?" in our own lives to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be!