No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!

No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!
Self-Sufficiency - self-supporting, self-reliant, self-sustaining,

"I’ve watched my dear 95-year-old mother-in-law, who has been quite independent for years, now be willing to let go of that self-sufficiency. Since she uses a walker, I offered to carry her purse and she’d reply “I can carry it myself!” Now, she let’s us carry it, and, recently, has even succumbed to allowing us to push her in a wheel chair when she leaves the house. It came with great difficulty to relinquish her independence, but now she gladly allows us to help her out.

Funny how, in this independent mindset that we hold on to for so long, we become almost TOO GOOD at being self-sufficient. I’m guilty as charged. Fortunately, there have been very few things that I couldn’t do myself, especially in this age of being able to google just about anything to DIY (do it yourself). In fact, I just had to use google to figure out how to put a spray tank together so I could spray some of my bushes for insects. Whoa la! Done!

Because of Dr. Google, I can tell my doctor what my health issue is even before he tells me. With google and other sources, I have become a master problem solver. Whenever I face difficulties that seem insurmountable, I stick with it until I find a solution. I am determined to find a way to manage difficulties without needing much help from others or being a burden to anyone else.

Typically, self-sufficiency would be considered an admirable quality to strive for, but now I'm thinking I need to guard myself against becoming too good at it. I don’t want to bother anyone else to have to help me. I feel like I should be capable and strong enough to make things happen and roll with the results without falling apart. I’ll admit it -- it’s been difficult to humble myself to ask for help or guidance, even when I need the support. But, I do have to call in help to pull down my attic stairs which are heavy, high and, clearly, are a hazard. I sure don't want my family to have to deal with a bruised, broken or lacerated Mom/Nana.

How well I remember the independence of my children and grandchildren when they were toddlers. They wanted to do everything themselves — except for when they didn’t want to do something, like clean up their toys or eat their veggies. I wanted to help them grow and I wanted to fix things and prevent difficulties for them. It's the plan to give them the tools they need to make wise choices so they can grow up to be self-sufficient. Sometimes that means letting them fall down so they can learn and grow from their own mistakes, even though we’d rather protect them from falling. Nevertheless, we are there to protect them even when they fall.

Our Heavenly Father longs to have that close relationship with us. He wants to help. He wants to save us from a lot of the mistakes we'll make without His wisdom. He wants us to be dependent on Him. It’s easy to rely on our own strength, our own ability, and our own wisdom — so much so that we no longer reach out to our Father and let Him in to help us. It’s so easy to start to leave Him out of our daily life, decisions and activities, and only run to Him when there’s a big crisis.

Even in the thick of our daily challenges and struggles, God is right there to lay His gentle hand on our shoulder to say “Let Me help you with that.” He’s hoping we will let Him help. He never stops loving us or wanting that relationship with us, even when we feel like we should have it all together by now. I don’t like calling out for help to anyone, but I’m seeing that there are times when I must. In the same way, God is a mere call away when we call upon Him.

Psalm 91:15 “Call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you.”

By the way, I am delighted that I'm NOT so independent that I can yield to my children's wishes this weekend, when they're giving me my Mother's Day present in the form of power washing my patios, garage, driveways and windows. Yes, I'm still a "smart cookie"....I know when to DIY AND when to submit to the joys and blessings of motherhood -- and relinquish my self-sufficient spirit!

Crying Out for "HELP" in a DIY World

“Do It Yourself” is the trend these days – in home remodeling, crafty home décor’, door wreaths, jewelry and so much more. We don’t need anyone else’s help – we can do it ourselves.

DIY applies also to the independence we declare when we are faced with personal challenges and we also want to handle it all by ourselves. We think we don’t need anyone’s help in getting through life. I plead guilty on that as I’ve become quite independent – not wanting to “bother” anyone with my “stuff”. After all, we don't want to add our "stuff" to theirs. But that’s not how God programmed us. He made us to need Him and others.

My post today was inspired by my pastor’s message yesterday. He talked about calling out for HELP. The fact is that we have such a do-it-your-self mindset that we never call out for help. We go to church, sing and praise and pray and ask God for help, but deep inside we could sure use a friend. On the inside we’re crying out for help, but on the outside, we are wearing masks that make us look like we don't have a care in the world.

I love St. Paul’s words in Philippians 4:13 “I can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me.” It sure sounds like he was a DIY-er can of kind of guy, but he always relied on Christ's strength. In verse 14, he also said to the Philippians “It was good of you to share in my troubles.” Obviously he cried out for help to his fellow believers.

My son, Larry, was in Southern California for a leadership summit last week and one gorgeous morning, they all went to the beach. The waves were magnificent, about 8 feet, which made for great surfing – for those who knew how. Larry’s friend, who is in great shape, but is a novice surfer, headed out to surf. The waves were fierce and he began to get pounded and his surf board that had been attached to his ankle by a cord, broke loose and his board got away from him. Usually a surfer’s board acts as a buoy to keep them afloat, but when those waves pounded him every 8 secs, he had only enough time to grab a breath and try to get out of them.

Soon he realized he didn’t have the strength to get out of the waves and he knew he was in trouble. The waves were so loud that he knew those on shore wouldn’t hear him. But, one of the times when he came up, he saw two guys sitting on a nearby pier, drinking coffee, looking down at him. They had no idea he was in trouble. He looked like a professional surfer. Everything seemed normal. They didn’t know he was in chaos. He started thinking he wasn’t going to make it.

Meanwhile, all the guys on the beach were talking and laughing and shooting videos, while he was fighting for his life, as yet another wave came and pounded him. It was then that he began to yell to the two men on the pier “HELP. I’m in trouble. I need help!” And, he yelled again. Immediately those guys heard him, dropped their coffee and ran for help. At that beach, they fire off a siren and all lifeguards come running and they were able to get him and pull him to shore. Thanks be to God!

The point of this post today is to impress upon you, my FB friends, that if you need help today, cry for help – not only to God, but to those closest to you. They don’t know you’re in trouble. They don’t know the chaos you are in. It's time to take off the mask and ask for help. From the beach, Larry’s buddy looked okay. From the pier, he looked like he was having a great time – and everything was alright. But he needed help.

And, there are those around us who need OUR help. It’s time we “loved our neighbor” as ourselves. It’s time we reached out to friends and family and asked the question “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you? No surface answer accepted. No DIY mentality when it comes to reaching out for help and reaching out to others to help them.

Galatians 6:2 “HELP carry one another's burdens, and in this way you will obey the law of Christ.”