Celebrating While Remembering

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…..ALREADY! It seems Christmas comes earlier each year. In a sense, it does because of lightning fast time passing (I promise, you young things, you’ll understand that speed one day), but also in seeing Christmas lights shining brightly on homes already. Oh, the peer pressure! Actually, that added to my day of remembering a couple of days ago. I reminisced about November 16th, 2010, my sweetheart’s homegoing day and more than the time with him, I remembered the tizzy I was in about getting my Christmas decorations up before the family came in over the next weekend. I was bound and determined to make my home look like a Christmas Winter Wonderland. Oh yes, I did, smack dab in the day when my Sweetheart was packing up his bags (not literally) to take his fast-track ride to the other side. I had no idea this would be his homegoing day, or even week, or month. Can you even imagine how I could be remorseful about not sitting by his side, holding his hand, embracing him, talking to him and feeding on every last word he would say to me?

I’m not going there – to live in regret. That means I would be living in the past and not today or the future. It means that I would be forgetting what I did do. In between all the decorating, I went in and checked on him countless times and welcomed guests that came to see him. It means that I was forgetting the hours upon hours and days upon days of holding his hands, of embracing him through the pain, being his caregiver and nurse (literally – I did medical procedures that are typically only done by licensed nurses) and the untold hours spent with him in treatments, surgeries, and doctors’ visits.

We walked that journey together. We laughed. We cried. We celebrated. We didn’t remember the mistakes we made, the broken promises, the times we disagreed, the unfinished work around the house, or the waste of time and money. We lived that 11-month season of pursuing health together and we finished together. So, no, I have no regrets. I just won’t live there.

Soooo, what did I do to celebrate my Sweetheart’s earth-to-heaven trip last Saturday? I got out my Christmas lights (shown here) and put them up to honor living. Well, not UP, as my neighbor came over to bid me NOT to go up with the lights like many of our neighbors who had with lights up on their roofs. My blanket lights are easy reach.

Here is the biggest NO REGRET. We didn’t lose our fight. We fought the good fight of faith right through to that homegoing day. As St. Paul said, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Finally a crown of righteousness awaits me." 2 Timothy 4:7,8. I am so grateful we were not in denial about the potential he might pass away. We were in 100% total expectancy in God’s Word that says “Nothing is impossible with God.” So we did fight the good fight of faith and stood strong. Because we did all we could do – I know it was his time to go home. I am secure in living like that. When we pray and seek God for the answer, He has full authority to answer our prayers with His Words “Yes or no or I have a better idea.” He did. My Sweetheart is living it today…..and so am I.

By the way, with the family, we had our lighting ceremony on Saturday, the 20th. We celebrated the beautiful, bright light that had been such a vital part of our lives for so many years. Last Saturday, I had my own lighting ceremony. My neighbors call in a crew to put up their lights but this gal got hers up on her own – because I could. I like to think that my Sweetheart, from his room with a view, was watching his girl do her thang – but, this time, not in a tizzy. I was thinking about “Joy to the World, the Lord has come” and because He came, I can face tomorrow, all fears are gone, because I know Who holds my future, life is worth the living, until I get to go home, too!

Pot Luck or Pot Blessings -- It's About Hospitality

I am an experienced "Pot Luck" covered-dish toter. I can't begin to tell you how many covered dishes, salads, main dishes and desserts I have made over the many years of my church-going or friends-celebrating-together life. And less I offend some of my sweet Bible-toting friends with the "luck" part of pot luck, I also refer to those amazing food-out-of-control events as "Pot Blessings". I can't think of any times when there were too much of one food item, because the cooks, I'm quite sure, are inspired from Heaven Central when they plan out their culinary treat.

Truly they are blessings because we are sharing a "family" meal together to celebrate our friendship with each other and our friendship with Jesus. I witness that every month when I attend a wonderful fellowship group in my community. This fellowship group's common language is kindness, generosity, love -- or better put, it's about Jesus. We literally break bread, chicken, and all kinds of other goodies together. You don't hear talk about politics, the economy, complaints about what's going on here or there or everywhere. You just hear positive people talking about positive things.

Christ started that fellowship when He broke bread with His disciples. Coming together to celebrate Him in us and us in Him. Some of my favorite memories involve yummy food and sharing God's love and caring like this. Scripture shows us how important it was to God for us to break bread together. Acts 2:42,46: "They continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart."

When we share our gifts, talents and ordinary household meals and items to bless and serve others, we aren’t just being nice. We’re being obedient to God’s Word as this verse says: “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:9-10).

Our aim should be the same for everyone. We shouldn't offer hospitality — or a home-cooked meal — to impress others. Instead, we want to refresh them. To give them a place where they can relax and unwind. To provide a setting where they can talk and question and contemplate. When we offer hospitality with gusto, without grumbling, or complaining, or fretting over our not-so-nice-anymore home or stuff, we are doing exactly what pleases God — using our gifts for His glory.

It's My Birthday, and I Can Cry Happy Tears if I Want to!

Sweet time with my Frisco family yesterday at a great restaurant and then to see the new "Overcomer" movie. I was totally on that bandwagon of celebrating me. This is my life -- the only one that was meant for me. Alexia asked "Nana, how does it feel to be younger than the Great Depression? How does it feel being younger than the greatest drought ever that led to the dust bowl years? How does it feel to be younger than the Empire State Building?" With happy tears, I was elated that something was older than me! 🤣

And I'm so grateful to be younger than something....especially when my doctors, lawyers, teachers and preachers.....are younger than me! Honestly, I'm so blessed beyond what I deserve with the love that I’ve received from friends and family. I’ve been made to feel that I matter. And, the real crux of the matter for you AND me is -- we always did and always will matter because we are God’s treasures. “They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession.” Malachi 3:17

Treasures. God always saw us as treasures and on our birthdays we get to rock that truth. I’m rocking even as I type this post today. While the media leads us to believe that youth somehow has more value, the truth is, we are treasured by God at every age. Not only that, but He gives us specific gifts to share with the world in every season of our lives. We best be owning and sharing those gifts. They are the specific ones God planted within us.

Birthdays are a big deal – because birthdays represent our God-given mission and destiny and every year that we’re here, we get to celebrate our journey. And with each year -- we have the opportunity to celebrate -- not just THE day, but EACH day that God gives us. Celebrating it with a joyful, thankful, forgiving heart that is open to bringing forth flourishing fruit. So, today, let's party -- at least in the sense of celebrating YOU and me! Whether you are 8, 38 or 88.....you are to be celebrated. You're still bearing fruit. We're still here....we're not done! "They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be vigorous and flourishing." Psalm 92:14

The anthem of the musical, “The Greatest Showman” was “This is Me”, sung by Keala Settle. As I was looking for the lyrics for this post, I saw the original video of Keala singing the song with the rest of the vocalists in a practice room for the first time with Hugh Jackman. Of course she was intimidated at first. She didn’t even want to step out from behind the music stand. You must see the transformation that took place as she sang the song as if it were her own anthem. I was in tears, and I think you will be, too! “This is Me” – let’s own who God made us to be. He has plans and purposes that only we can fulfill. Walk out being YOU! Because YOU matter!
Here is the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLFEvHWD_NE

Look out 'cause here I come;
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum.
I'm not scared to be seen; I make no apologies, this is me.

Valentine's Day -- February 14, 2004

Day 14 in this Month of Love -- Valentine's Day -- February 14, 2004
As usual on Valentine’s, my husband, Ron, took my Mom the single rose in a vase and her favorite box of chocolates. Mom had been living at the Grace Living Center in Jenks, OK for four and a half months because of a severe fall, which the doctor said was reason enough for her to not live alone anymore. “With her heart condition, this could happen again,” he told us.

It was a daily routine for the Nurse’s Aides to get Mom up each morning, help dress her in one of her coordinated outfits, and take her in her wheelchair to the dining hall for her breakfast, and other meals. But, when we arrived at her room (as was my daily routine anyway, but Ron went with me this morning), Mom was still in bed. Patsy, the South Wing Nurse, was leaning over Mom checking her heart with her stethoscope. Patsy looked up at us and said, “Edna’s not feeling so good today. She threw up quite hard last night. Her false teeth fell out of her mouth and the bottom ones broke!” I immediately replied to Mom, “That’s okay -- I’ll take them on Monday and get them fixed”. Mom didn't want anyone to see her without her dentures, so I knew I would have to make that a “priority” errand on Monday (this was Saturday). I could tell she wasn’t feeling good. She didn’t respond heartily to our greetings, and only gave a “little” smile to Ron as he reached down and kissed her, held out the rose in the vase and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom! Here’s my flower and chocolates for my Sweetheart!”

And, as I leaned in close to her, I assured her that she looked beautiful without those dentures, caressing her face and soothing her with words to comfort the fact that she wasn’t feeling good. I hadn’t seen “my smile” from her yet, so I did my usual coaxing, "Where’s 'my smile'?" To which, she gave a half-hearted little smile and mouthed the words, “I’m okay!” I noticed she had on her red plaid pajamas. “I see you’ve got on your Valentine’s PJs!” Ron then said, kiddingly, “Hey, Mom! Come on. Get up. Let’s go shopping at the Mall. I’ll push you in your silver Cadillac (her wheel-chair)” She always knew when Ron was jesting with her and today was no exception. She responded back to him by her typical sticking-out-her-tongue at him.

Everyone who knew her, knew how she loved to “kid” and “be kidded” by Ron. She and Ron had an unusually close relationship for the 40 years we had been married and five years before that. For many years Mom lived with us when our children were young. Ron would tell everyone, “Mom and I have never had a cross word with one another – well, except for the one time I had to scold her for allowing our 10-year old daughter to coax her into doing her chores (i.e., making her bed, emptying the dishwasher, etc.). Our daughter, Staci, would pay her fifty cents from her allowance.”

Ron’s Mom, Lydia, always came by to see my Mom every Saturday after her weekly hair appointment, which was just a couple of blocks away. This morning was no exception. She came in and greeted her dearest friend of over 45 years. It was these two women who diligently “arranged, prayed, and continued to bless” the relationship of Ron and I since I was twelve, and he was thirteen years old. How appropriate for all of us being together on this Valentine’s Day. It was “Mom” Lydia, and her husband, that drove Ron and I to our first date, which was a church Valentine’s Banquet, 45 years ago. While all of us were together this morning, Mom kept trying to tell me something. I just couldn’t make out the words.

Since I had been through many physical “ups and downs” with Mom over the last few years, I assumed that this morning would be like those from before where I had seen her feeling very low, but would bounce right back in just a matter of time. We all were convinced that Mom had nine lives -- she’d been so close to death several times in the last few years, but would recover and be her full-of-life self, spreading her love and joy to everyone around her once again.

Before leaving her this morning, Ron reached out to Mom in his customary way, joined my hand and his Mother’s hand, and said, “Let’s pray.” He prayed his usual prayer of faith and trusting in God for Mom’s healing, rest and peace. We all took turns reaching down and kissing her and telling her "good-bye". I told her I’d be back after a short while to see her. I guess I had a premonition that Mom needed extra TLC today, so I went to the Nurse’s Station and said to Patsy and the Nurses Aides, “I know you check on Mom regularly, but would you keep an even closer eye on her today, and call me if her condition changes?” They assured me that they would.

We had just gone for a Valentine's breakfast with Ron's Mom, when I got a call from Patsy saying, “Donna, I’m sorry to tell you; your Mother passed away.” Oh, the painful emotion I felt and the questioning ensued -- “Why wasn’t I there? Why did we leave her?” When we got back to the Nursing Home, the Nurses Aides were with her. She was still in the same position as when we left. Nadia, one of the dear Nurses Aides from Russia, immediately told us that she had come in to see if Mother wanted lunch. Being Russian Orthodox in her religious beliefs, Nadia asked Mom if she could pray with her. Mother would always accept an offer for prayer. Nadia recounted her last moments with Mom. She said that she had prayed a simple prayer and said that Mother’s eyes followed her gesture of signing her with the cross. Nadia left her room and after just a few minutes, Nadia came back to check on Mom, and she was gone.

After pondering the events of Mom's final moments of life. I came to believe that with Nadia's gesture of signing Mom with the cross, that Mom, like Jesus Christ said in His final moments, said, “It is finished”, and chose to "go home". Her assignment on this earth was finished.

After someone so close leaves us, we let our imaginations and deepest desires come to mind, hoping to relieve the pain of parting. Ron said, “Papa got his Valentine Sweetheart back today!” (Papa, my Dad and Mother’s husband of 34 years, had preceded Mother in death forty years ago.) My dear Mother-in-Law, Lydia, said, “Donna, remember when Edna was trying to tell you something before we left? I know she was saying, 'He’s coming for me.'" For me, having been a part of this beautiful, precious saint’s life for 56 years, (I deemed her Saint Edna Pearl long ago), who, because of her prayers, steadfastness, strength, true unconditional love for me in all of my growing-up years, caused me to be a the woman I am today. Though I miss her so much, just knowing her daily prayers of going home to be with Jesus and my Dad, were answered, causes me great comfort and joy. I think that my Dad and God had a mutual agreement on this Valentine’s Day, “Let’s bring our “Best Girl and Sweetheart” home!” And, they did.

Happy Valentine’s Day in Heaven, Mom, AND to my Sweetheart! I'm quite sure that you two are having a hay day running around heaven. What a sweet picture that is to me. You're healed, whole and celebrating God's overwhelming love! What a day of rejoicing it is for you there, AND me here!

FB Friends, please indulge me as I share these photo memories with my family and you!