Remembering Yesterday and Yester-Years

It’s early Sunday Morning, Father’s Day, and I’m taking in the sound of the melodious rainfall. I look out my back window and my eyes go right to that yellow rose bush being watered from heaven. Don’t tell me otherwise! Sure, I know there’s scientific reasons for rains, but on this day, Father’s Day, I’m imagining my “love” reminding me he remembers – and so do I.

That little yellow rose bush has fully bloomed twice this season already, and here it goes again. Of course, it reminds me of the man of my dreams and my reality – my sweet husband and the father of my two children, the grandfather of my seven grandchildren. Oh, how blessed we were to have known and loved this man. Our wedding included yellow roses, every home we ever lived in (even the two homes since his passing on) has had a yellow rose bush planted there. When my babies were born, yellow roses were at my bedside. So, of course, the rain and the yellow roses compounded my awareness that he isn’t here, but, oh, yes, he is. He lives so big in our hearts.

Just a memory to spark so much gratitude for those little things in my life, that on a day like this, I can rejoice and be glad and not sad. Oh, how I would love for him to still be here with me enjoying our family together. He’s not – but I am. I’m not done imparting the best of me, the best of us, to these I love.

My crew in Austin sent me photos of their fun times and this crew in Frisco, celebrated with huevos rancheros for breakfast, online church, Hutchins Barbeque for lunch, piano serenades from Payton, and great fun playing the fishing game that Papa gave Payton 13 years ago. What a day! Yes, we would have rather been real fishing, but since we couldn’t, the game brought back some of the best memories.

I’ve loved the photos many of you, my social media friends, posted of their dads and husbands – those who passed on, those still alive and well, and even those who have a baby “still cookin' in the oven”. I know your journey and my journey may be completely different, but if we'll all practice gratitude and watch for all the sweet kisses from heaven like I did when I heard the rain and saw those yellow roses, you, too, will see the beauty all around you. You'll laugh with children, you'll start being a light to others, and you might even dance in the rain. It's been raining a lot lately, so why not put on those dancing shoes -- and DANCE?
“You have turned my mourning into dancing; you took off my sackcloth and clothed me with a garment of joy.” Psalm 30:11

Celebrating While Remembering

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…..ALREADY! It seems Christmas comes earlier each year. In a sense, it does because of lightning fast time passing (I promise, you young things, you’ll understand that speed one day), but also in seeing Christmas lights shining brightly on homes already. Oh, the peer pressure! Actually, that added to my day of remembering a couple of days ago. I reminisced about November 16th, 2010, my sweetheart’s homegoing day and more than the time with him, I remembered the tizzy I was in about getting my Christmas decorations up before the family came in over the next weekend. I was bound and determined to make my home look like a Christmas Winter Wonderland. Oh yes, I did, smack dab in the day when my Sweetheart was packing up his bags (not literally) to take his fast-track ride to the other side. I had no idea this would be his homegoing day, or even week, or month. Can you even imagine how I could be remorseful about not sitting by his side, holding his hand, embracing him, talking to him and feeding on every last word he would say to me?

I’m not going there – to live in regret. That means I would be living in the past and not today or the future. It means that I would be forgetting what I did do. In between all the decorating, I went in and checked on him countless times and welcomed guests that came to see him. It means that I was forgetting the hours upon hours and days upon days of holding his hands, of embracing him through the pain, being his caregiver and nurse (literally – I did medical procedures that are typically only done by licensed nurses) and the untold hours spent with him in treatments, surgeries, and doctors’ visits.

We walked that journey together. We laughed. We cried. We celebrated. We didn’t remember the mistakes we made, the broken promises, the times we disagreed, the unfinished work around the house, or the waste of time and money. We lived that 11-month season of pursuing health together and we finished together. So, no, I have no regrets. I just won’t live there.

Soooo, what did I do to celebrate my Sweetheart’s earth-to-heaven trip last Saturday? I got out my Christmas lights (shown here) and put them up to honor living. Well, not UP, as my neighbor came over to bid me NOT to go up with the lights like many of our neighbors who had with lights up on their roofs. My blanket lights are easy reach.

Here is the biggest NO REGRET. We didn’t lose our fight. We fought the good fight of faith right through to that homegoing day. As St. Paul said, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Finally a crown of righteousness awaits me." 2 Timothy 4:7,8. I am so grateful we were not in denial about the potential he might pass away. We were in 100% total expectancy in God’s Word that says “Nothing is impossible with God.” So we did fight the good fight of faith and stood strong. Because we did all we could do – I know it was his time to go home. I am secure in living like that. When we pray and seek God for the answer, He has full authority to answer our prayers with His Words “Yes or no or I have a better idea.” He did. My Sweetheart is living it today…..and so am I.

By the way, with the family, we had our lighting ceremony on Saturday, the 20th. We celebrated the beautiful, bright light that had been such a vital part of our lives for so many years. Last Saturday, I had my own lighting ceremony. My neighbors call in a crew to put up their lights but this gal got hers up on her own – because I could. I like to think that my Sweetheart, from his room with a view, was watching his girl do her thang – but, this time, not in a tizzy. I was thinking about “Joy to the World, the Lord has come” and because He came, I can face tomorrow, all fears are gone, because I know Who holds my future, life is worth the living, until I get to go home, too!

Memorial Stones for Remembering

Thank you for your indulgence as I have been in inspiration overload from VBS this week. The end of Day 5 brought mixed emotions: “Aw! We Made it!” and “Oh no! It’s Over!” The latter are my words as this joy-filled week is over and I return to my quiet and peaceful home. The former are words the volunteers (most of who are parents of the children and they’re worn out). I was amused at them yesterday. Most of those mamas who were volunteering have young and teenage children and their lives carry on each day after VBS is over. They aren’t afforded my sweet spot of R&R.

Yesterday was the big finale of our Israelites wandering 40 years in the desert. They wound up at the Jordan River, where, on just the other side was their Promised Land. It was precious to see a re-enactment of the priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant up to the edge of the Jordan by kindergartners. When their feet touched the water, the waters parted and they went across on dry ground. Our teen volunteers pulled back the “plastic” waters where there were stones that would be the memorial stones that marked bringing God’s people into the Promised Land. How appropriate for the conclusion of this week. The entire week was a “memorial” indelibly imprinted in their minds and mine. I won’t forget those little faces of wonder and awe.

It may be now, or it may be years down the road, but those memories and memorials that we create in our children DO have an impact on those bright-eyed faces. God Bless you, VBS leaders, crews and volunteers for the eternal investment you are making in the lives of these precious children!

While VBS is a summer staple for families every year, it’s certainly not the end-all. This scripture describes what I see in the labor of love that these families and volunteers provide – way more than just this one week: “You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. Let these words that I’m commanding you today be always on your heart. Teach them repeatedly to your children. Talk about them while sitting in your house or walking on the road, and as you lie down or get up. Tie them as reminders on your forearm, bind them on your forehead, and write them on the door frames of your house and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) That panoramic view is much more descriptive of an endless process of training our children in the way they should go – not just for a week – but every day of the year.

The lessons I learned early on, the scriptures I memorized, and the stories of faith and trust in God carried on into my life today. The stories and scriptures are what sustained and strengthened me in my toughest times and have given me joy and peace in my faith journey. I promise you, teaching your children about God and His Word, will carry them through to adulthood and even beyond to the families they will have some day. When you see them teaching their children one day, you'll be ever grateful for the seeds you planted. That's how I felt this week when I witnessed these children shouting out answers to questions in our Faith Station – that came from more than a week at VBS. Those little eyes and ears were watching and listening this week. They also watch and listen in your homes. Keep laying the foundation that will keep them standing strong. That’s a constant, never-changing message to continue sharing and one that I’m willing to stake my life upon! How about you?

The Last Word: “And Many More.....”

Are you one of those who has to have the last word? If so, then at the conclusion of singing "Happy Birthday" to someone, you probably added the big finish: “and mannny more!!" I always sing “and many more” under my breath in hopes that my quiet wish might help to safeguard the birthday boy or girl’s longevity. I know it’s not a sure-fire-guarantee because life has taught me we can never be sure of “many more”. So, each and every birthday we have with our loved ones is a gift. I realized this when my sweetheart received the diagnosis that changed his “many mores” to only “one more.”

“No more” is a sad thought, and I suspect if you’re reading this, you understand what I mean. Even though their passing means our loved ones never grow a year older, to those of us who are still here on this side of heaven, their birthday continues, for us, year after year. Though they’re gone, their birthday still belongs to them. And, to us, there’s no such thing as “no more”. We’re still here on this earth to REMEMBER there will be “many mores”. I’m here to tell you – significant days like birthdays, anniversaries and other special celebrations mean we still love our loved ones despite their absence. That’s one of the things I love about FB and seeing posts about loved ones, years past their “going home” date. We are fondly remembering.

All of that explanation is to give justification for celebrating my one man: the one love of my life once again on this, his birthday. Our family celebrates each other’s birthdays by pulling out the “Special Plate” and telling the honoree what they mean to us. I have it out this morning with biscuits, chocolate gravy, bacon, and eggs made for the boys and I. We'll be celebrating Papa and sharing what he meant to us. We're keeping his memory alive. As for me, I’m looking up to heaven and singing "Happy B/D and many more" to my Sweetheart! I'll let you listen in as I say to him:

“My Sweetheart, you are still so loved, honored, respected, and admired by me and all those who knew you. I’m celebrating you and the mark you made on so many lives, the least of whom is ME! I am more today than I could have ever dreamed possible because of you.....your relentless urging, pushing, prodding, and encouraging me to be all I could be. You always made me feel beautiful -- especially when I didn't feel it. When I didn't believe in myself, you believed in me! I am so thankful for the amazing husband, father, and grandfather that you were. You always gave yourself so freely to so many. I will never forget the precious, caring and giving way you treated others. You not only opened the door to them, but you fed them and clothed them and tolerated them and truly gave them the Father's love. You really were a "life enhancer" and a beautiful example, on earth, of Christ's love. There's not enough room here to tell you how much you meant to me, but one thing's for sure, you received your ultimate reward by getting to go on the fast track to heaven. My greatest determination is to be there with you someday and have the ultimate in birthday bashes with you there! And, to all my FB friends and family -- YOU ARE ALL INVITED!!!

By the way, maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too. It is sure a confidence builder to those we love! And, maybe it's time to get out the special plate for your loved ones in heaven and reminisce and celebrate how they made a difference in your life. It will keep their memory alive, and bring gratitude back to those who helped make you who you are today!

Happy Memorial Day!

I live in a 55+ community of almost 3,000 homes and I've noticed incredible patriotism throughout on this Memorial Day. American flags are lining the main roadways and most homes have a flag in their yard or on their home. I'm quite sure many of those who live in this community are veterans and/or they have family members who gave their lives or are serving our country today. There are not enough words of gratitude to express to those who have gone before us and to all of you serving today, who have been willing to sacrifice your life for our freedoms.

Even though we know that Memorial Day was originally created to help us remember the sacrifices of brave heroes who fought for our freedoms, it has become an event built around a 3-day holiday that kicks off the summer season. Today, millions of people will head outdoors to dust off their patio furniture, fire up the barbecue and welcome the sun-filled, fun-filled days of summer. Goodness gracious, the heat came with this Memorial Day as it welcomed 3-digit weather to Texas. It's supposed to hit 105 this week! My family always cherished this 3-day weekend when we'd gather together with friends and family, either for a family reunion or a well-planned camping trip. Such sweet memories! But, over the years, I've come to realize the real meaning of Memorial Day. Oh, yes, there's a wonderful connection between good food and friends that nurture our relationships with each other. But, Memorial Day is REMEMBERING our veterans and missing the ones who are gone, and it's "remembering" our loved ones who laid the foundations for our lives, prayed for us, for our families, our country AND for our armed forces.

I give thanks for the sacrifices my grandparents and my parents made for me, especially for my Mama who left me her strong faith and joy in life. Today, I continue her mission. And, thanks to my precious husband who seemed to have left this earth way too soon, but left behind a most grateful wife that is a strong overcomer and resilient woman of faith, because of his example. I am so grateful.

And, above all.....to focus with heartfelt gratitude.....

** To all the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, National Guard, and Coast Guard servicemen and women. You are selflessly giving and devoted, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed. You are so deeply appreciated.

** To the families of our military members, know you have our sincerest thanks. You are generous and brave behind the scenes, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed.

** And to those families of the fallen, may you feel the all-encompassing arms of Jesus around you on this Memorial Day and always. May you rest in the heart of God, a heart that knows the ache of loss Himself. He longs to comfort you and love you.

With tender hearts we lift you all up today, and we say "Thank you for everything, including this 3-day holiday where we are free to sing: "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free, and I won't forget the men (and women) who died, who gave that right to me!"

More Than a Coincidence

A couple of days ago I posted about “remembering”. In the final paragraph of that post, I spoke about Christ’s words at the Last Supper from Luke 22:19: “And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE of me."

COINCIDENCE: a remarkable concurrence of circumstances without apparent causal connection; providence, happenstance.

Here’s why the word COINCIDENCE is my word for today. After I had my “remembering” blog ready to post the next morning, Mom, who is busy going through family pictures to sort out which one of us she wants certain photos to go to, pulled out this photo for me. Imagine my joy and delight. Those are my two when Ryan was three and Staci was six months old. As precious as that photo is – take a look at the words on the pulpit behind them “Do this in remembrance of me.” What an absolute confirmation of how Holy Spirit is so faithful to give me my blog for the next day! I don't believe it was a mere COINCIDENCE but it was a providential circumstance.

Albert Einstein once said “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” Actually, most of us are like children playing hide and seek, wanting to be found, yet hoping we won’t be. Once we understand the way life really works — the flow of God's energy that directs every moment — then we begin to see the amazing potential in that moment.lives.

When a coincidence happens, we shouldn't ignore it. We should ask ourselves, "What is the message here? What is the significance of this?" On Thursday, Mom’s home health nurse, Karla, came over to check on her. Here’s the “coincidence”. Karla was one of the precious gals in my Life Group here in Tulsa. Of all the nurses in Tulsa, Karla became Mom’s nurse -- which has been a blessing for both of them. Mom and Karen helped Karla get out of her comfort zone, and Karla has provided such tender loving care to Mom that we couldn’t have been more pleased to have her than if we had “special ordered” her. Karla has had some physical issues and needed a an electric bed that would raise her head. Mom is selling her electronic bed in her estate sale and sold it to Karla at a bare minimum -- blessing-for-Karla price.

The point is, we don’t have to go digging for the answers. COINCIDENCES may arrive as a sudden insight or an amazing God-moment -- that you look up toward heaven and say "Thanks God! I know you did that!" I choose to believe that God is behind COINCIDENCES.. A Biblical definition of coincidence is “what occurs together by God’s providential arrangement of circumstances.” The point is – we need to stay “in the moment” of each day, so that we can readily recognize God’s hand at work in our lives that gives us the HOW, WHEN, WHERE and WHY we met that person or we went that direction, or we received that phone call, or we were delayed in traffic only to arrive at our destination in God’s perfect timing so that we would see that person that was crying and you were there to comfort them.

There are no accidents or COINCIDENCES with God. And He has a perfect timing for everything He does.

"Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.” Isaiah 46:9–10

Remembering to Re-Member

Here I am – back in Tulsa. Sis and I are working diligently on getting Mom’s Estate Sale ready, but not before many close friends and family members came and took a token of a special memory they had with Mom in the past. We’ve loved the “remembering” of such special and momentous times that are etched forever in our minds. Mom, at 95 years old, remembers so many of those special times and even helps us to remember.

Remembering AND re-membering. Like the “re-membering” definition above, Mom, Karen and I had been “re-membering” my dear husband (Mom’s boy and Karen’s big bro) and the ways he did certain things, his little quirks and his many abilities. We often recall how contented he was during his final year of adversity, and how he rarely complained. We recalled how very quiet he was -- quite the feat for a man who "fire-hosed" people when he was given the chance to give them an encouraging word. All such sweet re-membering that is so very important and brings us so much comfort. When someone shares how my sweetheart impacted and made a difference in their life, it blesses me so much. They tell me they will never be the same because he cared. They were re-membering that he played an important role in their life story.

My daughter brought a whole new perspective to the word, re-membering. She reminded me of a beautiful statue of Jesus that I had given to her and how, inadvertently, in a move, the statute was broken into many pieces. Very quickly, she embarked on the task to “re-member” Jesus. Carefully, piece by piece, she glued the statue back together again. In essence, she put Jesus’ members back together again. She remarked "And this is what Jesus wants us to be doing – to “re-member” His body (the Body of Christ) by striving to bring us all together.

Though we don’t stay in-the-past thinking “I wish I were back there again”, we do REMEMBER and RE-MEMBER those circumstances, and even trials, that were the fuel for kicking us upward and onward to turn tests into testimonies, messes into messages and trials into triumph. I think about dear friends and RE-MEMBER their encouragement and support that carried us through some of our worst times. And, now it's us helping others to RE-MEMBER their broken hearts and spirits by encouraging them and praying for them.

Most of all – RE-MEMBER the ONE who paid the ultimate price for you and me. RE-MEMBER how Jesus went about doing good. RE-MEMBER how He loved you and brought you out of a dismal life of despair to a place of joy and victory. RE-MEMBER to REMEMBER His Words at the Last Supper: Luke 22:19 “And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in REMEMBRANCE of me."

1 Chronicles 16:12 “REMEMBER His wonderful deeds which He has done, His marvels and the judgments from His mouth.”

Jesus reminded His disciples to REMEMBER: Matthew 16:9-10 "Do you not yet understand or REMEMBER the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets full you picked up?”

Why Am I Still Here?

Other than a few cousins, it occurred to me, yesterday, these two gals have known me almost longer than anyone else. The three of us hung pretty tight, yesterday, on Mom Lydia's 95th birthday. We were ready to throw her a big birthday celebration --after all, 95 years on this earth is worth celebrating -- BIG TIME! But, Mom, preferred the three of us to hang together in her cozy, warm home. I made it to Tulsa by 10 am and it was a day filled with memories which created so much laughter and a few tears, and big discussions about the tomorrows which Mom, quite frankly, continues to ask "Why am I still here?"

Mom (aka mother-in-law) and Karen (aka sister-in-law), and me have been a part of each other's lives through some of the best and worst of times well over 57 years. Mom and my Mom were best of friends that literally prayed my husband and I together from a very early age, and little sister, Karen, three years younger than me, was like our little mascot -- tagging along with us in our teenage years.

Oh, the joys of remembering -- but back to Mom's question "Why am I still here?" Like my Mom, when she was 94 asking the same question, I answered Mom Lydia with these words "Because God isn't finished with you yet. There are more people to pray for -- including me. There are more people to encourage. When He's good and ready, He'll say 'Well done, good and faithful servant -- now it's time to come home for your rewards.'" I loved how that message played out yesterday.

In my FB post, the day before, I asked for those who had been inspired and encouraged by Mom to please send an email to me to give her yesterday on her birthday. The response was overwhelming. Particularly, receiving an email from her Pastor and his wife who were in Berlin, Germany and taking the time to express what a blessing she has been to them and their church family. The sweet emails, phone calls and cards from others brightened her day so much that we never heard her complain one time about pain in her body, which is a miracle as she has been in tremendous pain for months now.

Two different times Mom has had to have a Home Health Nurse -- and each time, (one about 7 years ago and the other assisting her now at this time) not only were the nurses a blessing to her, but she was a blessing to them as she would encourage them and pray for them. Yesterday, both of those nurses, not because of a call of duty, but because of their love and appreciation for Mom, one came by with flowers for her, thanking her for her prayers for her that have been answered (she recently married the man of her dreams), and the other brought a big bowl of candy and declared "This is to tell you that you are the sweetest TREAT EVER!" And, she went on to tell Mom and Karen how much their prayers for her have been answered and how much they have meant to her.

To any one reading this post today, and maybe you're only 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85 or like Mom, 95 years old and you're asking "Why am I here?" , the same is true for you -- "You are here to be a blessing, to encourage someone, to pray for someone, to be a light-bearer, and a blessing giver." Maybe it's time to start today -- instead of being just a taker of blessings -BE a GIVER of BLESSINGS! Check YOUR pulse. Feel that heart beating!!! Yes....you're still HERE, so you're not done! Now, let's go make something out of that GIFT OF LIFE!!!

Stir Up Your First Love

As the 50th Wedding Anniversary date (July 8th) of my Sweetheart and I nears, I seem to be "in a remembrance zone". Dear friends of mine, who are celebrating their 50th year, are doing so by rekindling the love they had 50 years ago by purposefully going on all kinds of romantic and fun adventures. They've cruised, traveled near and far, taken lots of date nights and every day they are celebrating those 50 years in special ways, all year long. I love that. That gives me pause for a moment. I think that's what we would be doing, too. I won't get to do that, but I sure can spend sweet time remembering the special times we had in our 44 years.

When we had little to afford us to travel, we made lots of memories camping out and fishing in lots of lakes. We had LOTS of date nights to a movie, a restaurant, a musical (we loved those – “The Music Man” was our favorite and our favorite song came from it “Til There Was You”). Then we travelled in a Winnibego across the U.S. when we were The Master's 4 Quartette. We had four conversion vans over the years and chalked up a lot of miles travelling across the U.S. and Canada (my Sweetheart's home). Both of us being Private Pilots, we travelled many miles in our Cessna 182 airplane. We travelled on commercial airplanes, making many trips to see our kids when they lived in North Carolina, Tennessee, and Washington. We travelled to many events and conferences, near and far away. We travelled many times to my Sweetheart's beloved Belize and Mexico where we regularly went to share God's love on missions trips. We travelled on a Gulfstream when our son took us on the ride of our life to New York City when his company became public. We were there when he rang the opening bell on Nasdaq. We enjoyed 15 cruises together, the last of which was our dream trip, 5 days in Rome and 12 days on a Meditteranean Cruise.

One of my fondest memories is the trip Ron won at an LPGA Golf Tournament. He putted a 50 foot hole in one stroke. A hole-in-one that awarded us with a trip, the next day, on a 747 with the LPGA women to Sweden for the Solheim Cup. Eight days and nights -- all expenses paid. We made the most of the moments when travelled by train to Denmark and the ferry and train to Berlin, Germany.

Not only did I enjoy "remembering" all those experiences for myself, but I wanted to share them with you to say: "DON'T let the wonders and wows of your todays past you by." Like us, you may not make it to your 50th year to celebrate the years. Make memories today. Make every day count for loving and sharing and rekindling that love that brought you together with your sweetheart in the first place. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Get up early to see the sun rise together. Holding hands, watch the sun set together. Light some candles. Stir up that FIRST LOVE that you shared. STOP and behold the beauty God gave you, before it's too late.

Then, spiritually, let's not move so speedily through life, that we fail to set aside the time needed to stop and behold the beauty of the Lord and to gaze upon the wonders that are found in Him alone. Let’s stir up that FIRST LOVE we encountered with Him.

Psalm 27:4 "One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, and BEHOLD THE BEAUTY of the LORD and to meditate in His temple."

Remembering to Remember

Yesterday was Memorial Day and I couldn’t help but notice all the photos of tombstones on FB that represent fallen soldiers. I also saw many FB posts and photos that were honoring loved ones who served in the armed services, as well as to those loved ones who were so dearly loved and remembered on this day.

Remembering the past is vital to living in the present. It causes us to remember those who died in defense of our nation and express the most profound gratitude we can by how we live our lives.

Besides those who served our country, we should never forget those steadfast, strong, immoveable and unshakeable people who built that same tenacious spirit in us. One of the greatest ways we can carry on and repay our loved ones for all they did in leaving a legacy to us, is to leave a legacy for those who follow us by living lives of character, strength, honor, faith, and love for our fellow man.

My sweet little mama had so little in terms of earthly goods to leave me, but what she did leave me was a legacy that continues to speak volumes in how I live my life today. She lives on in me because she left me with the stuff that mattered.

The question is “What will we be remembered for? What will we leave our heirs and those who know us? More than the tangible inheritances we will leave, our character (good or bad) is creating a legacy that will continue to speak after our life on this earth has ended. "Unquestionable character" is one of the greatest gifts we can leave our heirs....and that comes as we embrace the character of our Father God. Character begins with our example - our life. I know I want to leave a legacy that says “Donna was most known for keeping God at the center of her life – it showed on the outside….. and behind closed doors.”

Charles Spurgeon said, “A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts – not on marble.”

What Memorial Day Means to Me

Even though we know that Memorial Day was originally created to help us remember the sacrifices of brave heroes who fought for our freedoms, it has become an event built around a 3-day holiday that kicks off the summer season. Today, millions of people will head outdoors to dust off their patio furniture, fire up the barbecue and welcome the sun-filled, fun-filled days of summer.

My family was no different. We cherished this 3-day weekend when we'd gather together with friends and family, either for a family reunion or a well-planned camping trip. Such sweet memories!

But, over the years, I've come to realize the real meaning of Memorial Day. Oh, yes, there's a wonderful connection between good food and friends that nurtures our relationships with each other. But, Memorial Day is REMEMBERING our veterans and missing the ones who are gone, and it's "remembering" our loved ones who laid the foundations for our lives, prayed for us, for our families, our country AND for our armed forces.

This is a special day to give thanks and show appreciation for the people who have woven themselves into our lives. I give thanks for the sacrifices my grandparents and my parents made for me, especially for my Mama who left me her strong faith and joy of life. Today, I continue her mission. And, thanks to my precious husband who seemed to have left this earth way too soon, but left behind a most grateful wife that is a strong overcomer and resilient woman of faith, because of his example. I am so grateful.

And, above all.....to focus with heartfelt gratitude.....
** To all the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, National Guard, and Coast Guard servicemen and women. You are selflessly giving and devoted, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed. You are so deeply appreciated.

** To the families of our military members, know you have our sincerest thanks. You are generous and brave behind the scenes, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed.

** And to those families of the fallen, may you feel the all-encompassing arms of Jesus around you on this Memorial Day and always. May you rest in the heart of God, a heart that knows the ache of loss Himself. He longs to comfort you and love you.

With tender hearts we lift you all up today, and we say "Thank you for everything, including this 3-day holiday where we are free to sing: "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free, and I won't forget the men (and women) who died, who gave that right to me!"

Re-membering

Re-membering (I know my FB posts are longer than suggested, but I'm on purpose. I know most wouldn't click the blogspot link, so I post in both places.) This post was written 5 years ago, and it bears repeating -- especially for those who have lost a loved one and for those who just don't know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. I pray it brings you comfort and wisdom today.

It’s just past the two-month mark since my Honey graduated to heaven. We continually remember him. We talk about him, the “ways he did things”, his little quirks and his many abilities. Someone will tell us about how he impacted and made a difference in their life, and how they will never be the same because he cared. Someone will do something the way he did it, and we’ll remark “That is just like him!” Another one will smell a cologne…and say, “That smells just like him!” Another will hear a voice and exclaim “That sounds just like him!” Another will comment about his “always-perfect hair”. At breakfast this morning, Ron's Mom, sister and I remembered him. We recalled how contented he was during that year of adversity, and how he never complained. We recalled how very quiet he was -- quite the feat for a man who "fire-hosed" people when he was given the chance to expound on God's Word. All such sweet re-membering that is so very important and brings us so much comfort.

A few days ago, my daughter, Staci, spoke to me about a new way of understanding the word, re-membering. She reminded me of a beautiful statue of Jesus that I had given to her and how, inadvertently, in a move, the statute was broken into many pieces. Very quickly, she embarked on the task to “re-member” Jesus. Carefully, piece by piece, she glued the statue back together again. In essence, she put Jesus’ members back together again. She, then, said “And this is what Jesus wants us to be doing – to “re-member” His body (the Body of Christ – you and me) by striving to bring us all back together again.

As I thought about that, I thought about what we are doing when we re-member our loved ones. For me, it’s putting my Honey’s broken body back together again – re-membering that beautiful body that we knew and loved, before the disease took its toll on it – putting away the thoughts about the pain he suffered, and the broken back that would not let him sit up – and come to a fresh, new “re-membering” of all that he was and is to us.

Ryan, our son, is re-membering by stepping up and carrying on my Honey’s passion, and his Dad’s passion, for missions and helping those in need. He is carrying on our 40-year old humanitarian foundation to help hurting people, to be a resource for improving and giving opportunities for education for those who can’t provide for themselves, to feed the hungry through the establishment of food pantries, building and operating orphanages, and fund the building of water wells in third world countries.

Our daughter, Staci, is re-membering by being an expression of her Dad as she motivates, encourages, trains and brings healing into hurting individuals, families and homes, and in so doing, re-membering what was broken, and restoring to brand new life.

Our ten year old grandson, Payton, is re-membering as he just wrote his very first book, “That’s What Papa Said”. His 5th grade class was given the assignment to write an imaginary story that will be illustrated, hard bound and published. He didn’t want to “imagine” a story. He was insistent that his story would be about actual facts. He asked, and his teacher allowed him to write his story about his Papa. I cried as I read how he remembers his Papa and all that he taught him about life, the right way to do things, piano playing and fishing – with each paragraph ending with…..”That’s what Papa said.”

Then there’s our nine-year old Alexia, who we never know what will be coming from her next. She’s always “thinking outside the box”. Out of nowhere, a few days ago, she asked “Nana, why did you need to put such good clothes on Papa in that bin?” “That bin?” I asked. “Do you mean, the casket?” “Yes” – that’s what she meant. She was re-membering….in her own style and in her own way.

And, for me, I have been re-membering with friends and family as they ask me “How are you doing?” I was asked by a friend a few days ago if people were still expressing their condolences to me. I commented “Some do, and others seem to not know just what to say!” And I recall, I was like that when wanting to comfort someone – wanting to say the right thing, but often hesitated, because I just wanted my words to be heartfelt, and not so sure what those heartfelt words should be. But now, I know. I know, re-membering is the most precious gift – keeping that loved one very much alive in our hearts and minds. From now on, in those times, I will ask them to re-member their loved one. I will join with them and remember some of the things that made that person so special to me. I will ask them to tell me about them – what some of their fondest memories were – what he or she did that made them laugh – what he or she did that made them so proud of them. I, too, want that. I will be a force for re-membering! I will REMEMBER to remember as I continue this exciting faith journey!

Remembering Magical Birthdays

Day 249 of Photo Inspirations -- Remembering Birthdays at Disney World
#TBT It was September 2007 and we had planned for months to go on this special trip to celebrate Papa's & Alexia's Birthdays.  It was going to be Papa's BIG 60th on the 12th and Alexia's BIG 6 on the 16th.  And celebrate we did!!  We stayed in a great hotel with a lazy river and huge pools and we kicked up our heels in a grandiose way at Disney World and Sea World in Orlando.  Oh what fun we had.....and these photos say it all.   Alexia Wallace was smack dab in the middle of her "Princess" styles and fantasies.  She had to wear her "Belle" dress when she met Belle.  Of course, Payton and Papa's big deal was Buzz Lightyear and the sharks and whales.

Oh, what precious memories -- that will live on because SOMEONE (aka ME) was a fanatical picture-taker -- still am....and even more so as now I also carry my selfie stick.  Look out.....Nana's on her way to save the day AND memories!   It is those photos and those memories that help me recollect some of our most joy-filled times.  We made the most of our times together.  And, now, we REMEMBER!  

God talks a lot about "remembering" in His Word, so I'm in good company when it comes to remembering!  

1 Chronicles 16:12 --  "Remember His wonderful deeds which He has done, His marvels and the judgments from His mouth,"

Deuteronomy 8:18 -- "But you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day."














It's AWESOME to remember all the good things God has done for us.  And, we learn so much from
those remembrances.  We get to start each new day with the wisdom and knowledge we gained from the past. Each experience – good and bad, has equipped us to be better, do better and appreciate time more.   

It is the dawn of a new day, today. I know one thing for sure -- we can’t live in the past, and the future isn’t ours to predict. But, we can make minutes, hours and days really count for what matters most. I speak a lot about it, but I repeat, treasure THIS day – make memories for yourself and someone else. Live as if there were no tomorrow. Spread sunshine. Give love and laughter and life to those who need an injection of fun, faith, and friendship. The BAD news -- time flies, but the GOOD news -- we get to continue capturing the joy-filled experiences and thank God for PRECIOUS MEMORIES!

A Beautiful Day To Go Golfing

Day 78 of Photo Inspirations -- A Beautiful Day To Go Golfing
Last Monday was a glorious 80 degrees in Tulsa, and from Mom's back porch, you could see the golfers out by the droves.

And my little great niece was out with her little pink plastic golf bag and club -- hitting her ball right in sync with the golfers. At 21 months old, she loves being at Great Granny's house -- especially when she can be outside. She'll wait for the golfers to come by and watch for the BIG moment with their club connects with the ball. She claps big and yells "yaaaaay"!   She could care less about whether or not the ball goes anywhere -- she just waits for the SMACK!

This is a scene we witnessed with all eight of the great grandkids. Each one played golf in Great Granny & Papaw's back yard.....and when the coast was clear (no golfers around), Papaw or Papa, would take them to play a little on the big course.

Here I am "remembering" again. While watching little princess play golf, my sister-in-law and I laughed as we recalled the golf lessons that our husbands insisted we take. First of all, when we were together, we laughed ourselves silly at some of the most "non-silly" things, to others -- but not to us. So, it was, of course, that way when we took our golf lessons. Like my little great niece was so thrilled when those golfers just SMACKED the ball, we were so thrilled when we simply connected with the ball -- even though our ball would typically only travel a few feet in front of us. Our instructor, ever-so-kindly, invited us to try another sport, because just possibly golf isn't the one for us!   LOL!

Bottom line.....we should become like a little child and get excited at the sheer joy of playing the game of life.   It's time we enjoy it.   So many people concentrate too much on winning that they forget to have fun.   Who wants to live life with pressure to win it all -- and end up burned out and miserable?   Isn't it time we learn to have fun, celebrate each others big AND little victories?    Ultimately we'll finish the 18th hole.....and surely we'll be able to celebrate the beautiful day we had, the great companionship of friends.......and SEEING the most adorable little girl.....SMACKING her ball!!

Sweet Times Between Papaw and Daddy

Day 69 of Photo Inspirations - Sweet Times Between Papaw & Daddy
While my kids were in Tulsa last weekend, Staci and I got to grab a whole afternoon together -- a rare opportunity.  We found ourselves chatting a lot about her Daddy (my Honey) and the influences he had had on her life.  Seems that she got so many of his genes -- the ambitious, passionate, over-achiever, multi-talented, creative ones and the dreamer ones. And, often, those are the genes that keep her awake at night -- multi-tasking when she is trying to sleep.

Driving to our next destination, and still talking about her Daddy, we found ourselves driving by the cemetery where he is buried. At first we were just going to wave as we drove by, but then we were just too close, not to stop for a visit.  Honestly, I  don't need to go there.  I  don't need to go where he is NOT, but I appreciate that there are those that do need to go and  pay their respects and remember. Remembering the sweet times are a part of my daily routine.  

Not having been there in a while, we couldn't find his gravesite.  We drove up and down rows.  I said, "What kind of wife am I that I don't even know where my husband is?"  Right on queue, Staci  remarked....."You DO know where he is.....and it's sure not here!"   We laughed, but I know that's why I don't go there often for a visit, because I DO know where he is.  Eventually we found the site where my Honey and his Dad are buried.  We had a little one-way talk with them and asked for their intercessions for us.  Why not?  They're close to God's throne now, so if their prayers were effective here, how much more so in heaven!

It excites me to think that we'll have a great reunion one day.  I do my best to meet each day's challenges and circumstances with the mindset "In the light of eternity".  It really puts perspective on the many activities and circumstances that seem so important -- but are really so trivial and unworthy of attention.  God has purpose for us to live strong on this side of heaven, but thanks be to God -- it doesn't end there.  His plan offers us the opportunity BEYOND our lifetime.  So you won't find me living among the dead.  I'm just too busy living among the living and just seeing how many I can take with me!

Welcome Home!

Today, November 16th, is the 4th year anniversary of this beautiful man's promotion to heaven. I say it that way because he fervently believed this life on earth, is just our internship for what we were created to do, and be, in heaven. I know he’s on assignment there, as we are all on assignment here until OUR “promotion”. I am so grateful for my Facebook friends that indulge me as I often post about him and our life experiences. "Remembering" is one of my greatest joys in life. There is no greater gift given to me than when folks “remember” him with me. In fact, yesterday, I was so touched when our dear friend, Charles Michie, spoke about Ron at a conference I attended. But even more touching, was when I saw that Mick was wearing a vest of Ron's that I had given him. It meant so much to me.

November 16, 2010: What started as an idea to get our bodies moving, actually got our whole family excited about the upcoming weekend. They were coming in for an early Thanksgiving the next Saturday. And, we'd have our traditional Thanksgiving meal with Ron, in the bedroom. Then when it was dark outside, we'd have the "lighting of the Christmas lights" that had been strategically hung by a crew of family members, just outside my Honey's window. We knew he would love the family being together for such an intimate, sweet family time together. Then, on Sunday, we would all run in the "Movement of Gratitude" aka "Run for Ron" in the Route 66 Marathon. We had a brilliant plan....or so we thought.

But, God and my Honey had the "MASTER PLAN"! As our big weekend was approaching, my Honey became less communicative; he slept more, and ate less. Always giving in to my usual "drill sergeant" techniques to get him to eat more, had little effect now. This morning, I opened the window blinds wide and exclaimed, "It's a beautiful day!" His eyes remained closed, but I knew he heard me. This morning was different than the days before when he'd shake his head as I tried to give him "just one more bite". I fed him almost all of his oats and brown sugar and several bites of toast covered in strawberry jam -- one of his favorite breakfast meals. His mom and sister came by for their usual daily visit. He said, "Hi, Mom!", then closed his eyes again. After they left, I tried to give him his lunch -- another favorite -- chicken and dumplings, but this time he didn't respond to eating at all.

Though I had been busy with getting the house ready for the family to come in this weekend, I was drawn to stay by his side now. Something about today was different than before. I took his blood pressure and pulse over and over. It was erratic -- high, then low. With all the standing in faith for his healing, now it seemed it was time to to let go. It was just him and me at home. It was as though heaven touched earth as I whispered in his ear, "Sweetheart…I think the 'Welcome Home' sign is up for you in heaven. Go ahead. Go there. I'll be okay. It's time to push, so PUSH, Baby, PUSH!" I knew I was being his mid-wife, pushing him from this world, into his real home. I called Shawntel and asked her to let Ryan know as he was in Hong Kong. I called Staci who was at her job in Dallas. When I told her that I think Daddy is passing -- I laid the phone by his ear and she sang and spoke sweet love words to him. I called Ron's sister who showed up at our home within a few minutes. The hospice nurse was the next to arrive. She said, "Yes, he's in transition -- it could be tonight or within 72 hours." He was so peaceful. I was so at peace. I knew it was time to begin the home-going celebration. My Honey was not leaving home….he was going home…..where he belonged. I knew God loved him so much -- it was time for him to receive the grandest rewards that awaited him. He had a glimpse of heaven. I just knew it. With all the love I had, and have for him, how could I possibly keep him here one minute longer? He earned this. He deserved this.

Within just an hour, he passed, ever so peacefully, and I saw the most beautiful man I have ever encountered -- both outside and inside -- push through to the other side. Yes, there were tears -- my soul mate, lover, best friend and husband of 44 years went home, yet also tears of joy, knowing pain is over and we'll be together again one day. I said words that I knew the Father was saying to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joys of the Lord!" Matthew 25:23.

Did we "lose" him? No, we know where he is! He is not lost. Did we lose our fight? No, we fought the good fight of faith right through to this day. As St. Paul said, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith…and finally a crown of righteousness awaits me." 2 Timothy 4:7,8.

By the way, we still had our family Thanksgiving on Saturday, the 20th, and we celebrated him -- the beautiful and bright light that had been such a vital part of our lives for so many years, by our lighting ceremony. All of us watched the lighting of our back yard from Honey's and my bedroom window…..except, not quite as planned, for Honey was no longer in that hospital bed. We like to think that he was watching from his "room with a view" from heaven. He did push through, and now he is cheering us on and pushing us to our finish line!