What Difference Does a Hamburger Make?

My oncology nurse friend is all about bringing sunshine into the world. What a joy it must be for her patients who face a riveting cancer diagnosis. Her bright light intersects their darkness with hope. In addition to her nursing job, she is also a volunteer at a charitable organization that is truly a "back-up resource" for families who have a loved one dealing with cancer, and if that's not enough.....she goes to hospice facilities to cheer up the families and their loved ones. I couldn't resist sharing the following story with you. It touched me so much.

Jodi was headed to a hospice facility to visit a patient there. As she approached the facility, a 93-year-old man was sitting on the porch. She greeted him with “How are you doing today?” He responded, "Good -- and I'm working on the pretty!" She remarked that he was a delight and just had to sit down and visit with him a while. They carried on a long conversation and he mentioned “I’d love a hamburger.” She didn’t hesitate to say: “I’ll be right back” and went to get that burger for him. There wasn't a question about whether it was good for him or not -- she knew her attention to him WAS good for him. She came back with the hamburger and a strawberry shake. The dear man had a chair pulled up right next to him for Jodi to sit by him. Jodi said he ate every bite and drank all the shake. She spent over two hours with him. Jodi was beaming as she told me this story. The dear man passed away a few days later.

What makes someone go the extra mile to bring a ray of sunshine into someone's life? Especially when that someone is close to leaving this world anyway. What difference does it make? Here's the difference: Jodi was serving a sweet man that was getting ready to leave this world. I told her she was his midwife -- giving him a sweet, comfortable and beautiful time as he was transitioning to "going home". But, more than the sacrifice of her time for this sweet man, this was about Jodi. She was so grateful for those two hours.

Helping others makes us see what we have.....and makes us even more grateful for it. Helping others makes us happy. There is so much joy in giving. She was grateful. When we help others, it makes us see what we have and makes us more thankful for it. Jodi's acts of kindness are seed planting times. She is already enjoying the harvest of her acts as she experiences such overflowing joy and happiness. “Give….and it shall be given back to you!” Luke 6:38

What difference does it make? Maybe our solution to complacency, boredom, loneliness and sadness is to find some-one or some-place where we can make a difference in someone's life today. It just might be the last act of kindness they will receive, but it will be an act of kindness that will change us FOREVER.

There’s a Light at the End of the Tunnel and it’s Not a Train!!!

Determination: firmness of purpose; resoluteness, willpower, tenacity, single-minded, persistence, true grit

Today is Day 1 of our Estate Sale at Mom’s home here in Tulsa (see local ad at Craigslist https://tulsa.craigslist.org/gms/d/huge-west-highland-3-day/6549423053.html Whew! With great DETERMINATION – we made it. We “ate this elephant one bite at a time”. That’s what we always said when Karen and I would take on another estate sale as that was our business for years. Months ago we wondered if this day would ever come because Mom, at 95, was ready to transition from living on her own to moving in with her daughter (my sister in law), Karen, and husband, George.

After Dad passed away, 25 years ago, Karen told Mom “If the time comes when you don’t want to live alone, you’ll always have a home with us (their home for 39 years). Dad helped them add on to their house, enlarging the guest bedroom, adding a huge clothes and storage closet and additional square footage to tha room. Now that bedroom has accommodated their daughter, then their first granddaughter, then years later – their second granddaughter – and NOW, Mom. Dad, as in touch with God as he was (he was a pastor for over 50 years), probably had insider information from God that Mom would live in that room one day. He was DETERMINED to take good care of her.

Now, Mom’s space is filled with her simple needs -- photos of her loved ones, her furniture and furnishings. It is “not too big and not too little – it is just right for this season of her life. There’s a little area for her office, a sitting area, bed and TV area and a huge bathroom attached. She is so secure in her new surroundings. What once was so important (a large home to accommodate family and friends gatherings, Bible studies, prayer meetings, an extra room for guests, Dad’s office where he had many “talks” with those who needed an encouraging word) – is no longer needed in Mom’s new simple, just right world.

The beautiful part of Mom’s new small and SIMPLE world has been her desire to rid herself of anything but what’s most important. Mom has been overjoyed with giving away so many of her treasures -- that at one time -- seemed so important. Now, we have a packed full sale going on that will surely bring blessings to many that attend. Mom has been giddy about the sale as she helped sort and price items, put items in packages, sorting through books and greeting cards. She has loved staying busy and busy she has been. Here, in this photo, in her room, she’s helping sort cards. On Wednesday, she made her last trip over to the house to give her stamp of approval to our set up. Often she'd say "Where did THAT come from?" to which Karen would say "At the back of that closet or the back of that cabinet!"

Initially, the transition wasn’t easy for her. She didn’t want to be rushed. She wanted to wait a little longer and a little longer, became really longer. Mom had become very weak and feeble so the move had to be amped up. Back then, the home health nurse didn’t think she would be with us much longer, but now that she’s settled in her new space, she has become sassy and frisky and has regained such added peace and joy. The transition that once was because of necessity has become one of great relief. And our DETERMINATION to help her get there, as well as put on this sale, has never wavered. The tasks had to be done and now there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and, thanks be to God – it is God’s light of hope, great expectation and, for Mom – that light is the ONE she will meet face to face and FOREVER be in the home that she was prepared for – for all eternity.

Though it may appear that we're weak during really challenging times....if we hang on with great DETERMINATION....those are the very times that we are being strengthened and empowered, which equips us to be resilient and unconquerable, because we recognize that it is in those times of weakness.....that God is taking over. "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Treasuring the Treasures of Life and in the Light of Eternity

If you keep up with my posts, you’ll know that I’ve been going back and forth to Tulsa over the last few weeks to help with my 95-year old Mother-in-Law‘s move to Karen’s (my sis-in-law's) home. It was Mom’s admission of not wanting to live alone “in this big house” any longer, when she told Karen, that she was ready to move. How beautiful that Mom made that decision on her own. We all knew that was soon-at-hand because she hasn’t been feeling well for some time now. Though Mom's room at Karen's was beautifully prepared and ready for her weeks ago, Karen never pushed her to move as she wanted her to still fill in control on the timing. But a couple of days ago, she announced that she was ready and within a couple of hours, they had her at her new home with them.

It came after many sweet and precious moments of her letting go of so many treasures that she had accumulated over her 95 years, and 52 years of marriage. Treasures that were so important to her at one time, now are only important enough to pay-them-forward. The reality of heaven getting so close for her, motivated her to part with those things that, in the light of eternity – just won't matter any more.

How beautiful that many years ago, Mom started writing different ones’ names and the date under the bottom of some of those treasures. With the things not marked, she invited the children and grandchildren to come and select what they wanted. It has been a process, for sure, because Mom wanted to go through drawers, book shelves, cabinets and closets to be able to assign any particular item to one of five places: 1) take with her to Karen’s; 2) leave for children, grandchildren, close friends and relatives to select from; 3) to place in the estate sale that Karen and I will have in the Spring; 4) to give to charity and finally, 5) throw away.

You can just imagine that years of memories and collections of treasures presented many opportunities for story-telling times about “where, when, why and who I got that from”. How thankful we have been to be able to slow our own schedules down to patiently listen and savor the moments with her. And, even greater, that God gave us this time with her while she's still with us, instead of after she graduates to heaven.

One of the dearest treasures I found was a binder of poems that she wrote. She had so many talents – cooking, sewing, playing the organ, ceramics painting, making others laugh at her wit and humor, praying, giving, and now, we knew her brilliant ability to write poetry.  

On Saturday, I drove to Mom’s sister-in-law (Dad’s sister), Aunt Joyce Litke’s home in Waxahachie TX to deliver many of Mom’s clothes, as well as other items that Mom had designated just for her.

Among those things were ceramic reindeer that Grandma Lena Wuerch (Joyce’s Mom) painted and Mom wanted Joyce to have them. Aunt Joyce and I had such a special time together, recalling so many family times together, but the one I treasured most was when she teared up and said, “I miss Ron so much (that’s my husband). He cared for me and encouraged me so much during Adolf’s illness and passing.” I loved that she remembered and it made me remember how devoted he was to her with daily telephone calls and trips to see and encourage her. She gave me an intangible treasure to take home with me. It was worth the trip.

Mom and Dad met with many challenges over the years, but none were as devastating as the tornado that tore through their home and church at Lake Keystone, OK. So much was lost, but a few treasures remained for us to enjoy. Joyce has a ceramic rabbit that made it through the storm and it sits in a prominent spot in her home. After the tornado, Karen’s daughter found a hand painted picture in a frame that was torn and broken. Mom had it repaired and that is the treasure that Georgianne requested Brad, Karen’s son, selected a painting done by another aunt. My Staci chose one of her Bibles and a ceramic flower that she remembered from before the tornado. Ryan wanted anything to do with the “Wuerch” family legacy, so he wanted legacy photos.

Shawntel was given a beautiful Lenox-like teapot, sugar and cream holders that Dad bought Mom when they were ministering in Alberta, Canada and when she was pregnant with my husband, Ron. I received the mink stole that she let me wear to Ron’s Senior Prom. I was also overjoyed to be the recipient of Mom’s little Christmas Tree that sat prominently in her den year after year that Karen had decorated so beautifully (pictured here), as well as her hand-painted nativity set. We all took home many other treasures from our visits with Mom -- that we will all treasure, on earth, until we start to see "in the light of eternity" and pay them forward to our families.

I’m sharing with you this really “big moment” for our family of transition time from one earthly home that was dear to Mom and Dad, and all of us for many years, to her new home with Karen and George. It is a major transition time for them as well. We know that God is the conductor of this symphony of life. It may appear that Mom is getting closer to her transition to her heavenly home, and, indeed it is. One day soon, Jesus will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Come to your home sweet home."

Rick Warren, in his wonderful book “The Purpose Driven Life” said, "When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. You will start living in “light of eternity”, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance." St. Paul said “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.” Philippians 3:7

I think that’s the way Mom is living these days. That’s why when she’s feeling pretty good, she calls people to encourage them and pray with them. She gets it. In the light of eternity. nothing else matters except for Jesus. We’ll treasure her treasures until “the light of eternity” draws us home, too.

New Season.....New Day.....Celebration Time

If you live in San Diego, CA, Maui, HA or Orlando, FL, you enjoy reasonably mild climate throughout the year, but if you live in Tulsa, OK, you'd know the highs and lows of the most dramatic weather that accompanies each season. We get enamored by the changing of the leaves on trees that go from fiery reds and oranges....to no leaves at all. Those trees just spent the entire winter with bare branches. Now, all of sudden, those same bare branches are sprouting small purplish/red flowers and small white flowers. I love watching this beautiful transition. Yesterday, the high in Tulsa was 85 degrees. It excited me so much that I went to Lowe's and bought some herb plantings to get my veggie garden on its way. I loved feeling the warm sun. It's familiar, but also, NEW, all at once.

Isaiah 43:19 says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it! I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

God is always in motion which tells us He is always up to something new! What He did yesterday was great, but today is a NEW day. I think He is always conjuring up ways to amaze and surprise us. The seasons are a perfect example of the daily mercies He brings to us. Winter changes into spring, spring to summer, and summer to fall. And, we, too, are constantly in motion -- we are growing and changing. Aren't we so thrilled that we aren't just one-season-people? Always in the same-O, same-O of life?

Our lives really are seasonal and when we are unwilling to accept change and grow, we become stagnant in our physical, spiritual and mental state. To come into a new season and to grow in our faith, we must let go of the old one. Isaiah 43:18 says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." One of the many lessons life teaches us is to let go. Whew! That's not an easy one, when we're faced with letting our little ones start to school, or for our high schoolers to go off to college or get married and leave the nest. And neither is hanging on to past hurts and struggles, and past relationships. I assure you, it is possible to feel the loss for a while in those times of life, but NEVER to stay there. To grow and celebrate this season of life, we must pick ourselves up and be willing to go to a NEW SEASON.

As spring is surfacing and the trees are blooming, we can see God’s reminder to let go of the old things and expect the new things He’s wanting to do in our lives. Expect that there are good and beautiful things to come. As the flowers are being resurrected to new life, the trees are sprouting from what seemed to be a lifeless state, the green grass is peeking through the brown remains of winter, may we SPRING FORTH in fresh, new strength and vitality that comes from taking off those grave clothes, and putting on garments of praise and joy! It's a new day, it's a new season, it's a time for great expectation that this will be the BEST day and times of our lives!

Love and blessings to all....Donna

Welcome Home!

Today, November 16th, is the 4th year anniversary of this beautiful man's promotion to heaven. I say it that way because he fervently believed this life on earth, is just our internship for what we were created to do, and be, in heaven. I know he’s on assignment there, as we are all on assignment here until OUR “promotion”. I am so grateful for my Facebook friends that indulge me as I often post about him and our life experiences. "Remembering" is one of my greatest joys in life. There is no greater gift given to me than when folks “remember” him with me. In fact, yesterday, I was so touched when our dear friend, Charles Michie, spoke about Ron at a conference I attended. But even more touching, was when I saw that Mick was wearing a vest of Ron's that I had given him. It meant so much to me.

November 16, 2010: What started as an idea to get our bodies moving, actually got our whole family excited about the upcoming weekend. They were coming in for an early Thanksgiving the next Saturday. And, we'd have our traditional Thanksgiving meal with Ron, in the bedroom. Then when it was dark outside, we'd have the "lighting of the Christmas lights" that had been strategically hung by a crew of family members, just outside my Honey's window. We knew he would love the family being together for such an intimate, sweet family time together. Then, on Sunday, we would all run in the "Movement of Gratitude" aka "Run for Ron" in the Route 66 Marathon. We had a brilliant plan....or so we thought.

But, God and my Honey had the "MASTER PLAN"! As our big weekend was approaching, my Honey became less communicative; he slept more, and ate less. Always giving in to my usual "drill sergeant" techniques to get him to eat more, had little effect now. This morning, I opened the window blinds wide and exclaimed, "It's a beautiful day!" His eyes remained closed, but I knew he heard me. This morning was different than the days before when he'd shake his head as I tried to give him "just one more bite". I fed him almost all of his oats and brown sugar and several bites of toast covered in strawberry jam -- one of his favorite breakfast meals. His mom and sister came by for their usual daily visit. He said, "Hi, Mom!", then closed his eyes again. After they left, I tried to give him his lunch -- another favorite -- chicken and dumplings, but this time he didn't respond to eating at all.

Though I had been busy with getting the house ready for the family to come in this weekend, I was drawn to stay by his side now. Something about today was different than before. I took his blood pressure and pulse over and over. It was erratic -- high, then low. With all the standing in faith for his healing, now it seemed it was time to to let go. It was just him and me at home. It was as though heaven touched earth as I whispered in his ear, "Sweetheart…I think the 'Welcome Home' sign is up for you in heaven. Go ahead. Go there. I'll be okay. It's time to push, so PUSH, Baby, PUSH!" I knew I was being his mid-wife, pushing him from this world, into his real home. I called Shawntel and asked her to let Ryan know as he was in Hong Kong. I called Staci who was at her job in Dallas. When I told her that I think Daddy is passing -- I laid the phone by his ear and she sang and spoke sweet love words to him. I called Ron's sister who showed up at our home within a few minutes. The hospice nurse was the next to arrive. She said, "Yes, he's in transition -- it could be tonight or within 72 hours." He was so peaceful. I was so at peace. I knew it was time to begin the home-going celebration. My Honey was not leaving home….he was going home…..where he belonged. I knew God loved him so much -- it was time for him to receive the grandest rewards that awaited him. He had a glimpse of heaven. I just knew it. With all the love I had, and have for him, how could I possibly keep him here one minute longer? He earned this. He deserved this.

Within just an hour, he passed, ever so peacefully, and I saw the most beautiful man I have ever encountered -- both outside and inside -- push through to the other side. Yes, there were tears -- my soul mate, lover, best friend and husband of 44 years went home, yet also tears of joy, knowing pain is over and we'll be together again one day. I said words that I knew the Father was saying to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joys of the Lord!" Matthew 25:23.

Did we "lose" him? No, we know where he is! He is not lost. Did we lose our fight? No, we fought the good fight of faith right through to this day. As St. Paul said, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith…and finally a crown of righteousness awaits me." 2 Timothy 4:7,8.

By the way, we still had our family Thanksgiving on Saturday, the 20th, and we celebrated him -- the beautiful and bright light that had been such a vital part of our lives for so many years, by our lighting ceremony. All of us watched the lighting of our back yard from Honey's and my bedroom window…..except, not quite as planned, for Honey was no longer in that hospital bed. We like to think that he was watching from his "room with a view" from heaven. He did push through, and now he is cheering us on and pushing us to our finish line!

Alexia's Rite of Passage

Alexia's Rite of Passage Day

The first full day we were in Mexico, we got a beautiful view of Puerto Vallerta -- from a tourist's point of view. Lots of palatial hotels and resorts and shops galore. Cruise ships in port. Who would ever realize what we would eventually experience from "behind the scenes"?

But, this day was devoted to Alexia Wallace's Rite of Passage -- a very special event and occasion of celebrating Alexia's 13th birthday and transition from a little girl to a young woman. In the Jewish tradition, it would be her Bat Mitzvah -- celebrating her passage as a "Daughter of the Blessing". Staci Wallace and Larry Wallace devoted 12 special weeks of training that included 12 keys to living a life of blessing and abundance and being used by God to pour into her life, during this strategic time of transition and preparation. They used movies ("Joan of Arc", Queen Esther's story of preparation, "One Night With the King", as well as, for the first time, getting to see her Mom & Dad's Wedding Video and hearing their own "purity before marriage" story), experiences (special dinners and trips to specific places) and other specifically designed illustrations to carry out the special "Rite of Passage" journey.

The final key and blessing took place in the company of our wonderful missions team in Mexico, as well as Dr. Terry L. Mize and his wife, Renee Mize, the hosts of this wonderful trip and missionaries to missionaries around the world. What better location for the final key, as Alexia's heart is missions.

These photos capture some of the precious moments of our celebration with her -- from our early morning enjoyment of the beach to the evening blessings given by Larry & Staci.
Taking time to pour into our children these valuable lessons will not only impact their lives today.... but it will be carried on for generations to come. It is worth every effort and the time investment.....that will bear fruit beyond what we can imagine.

Break Free of That Cocoon

I’ve been through some painful seasons when it felt like God had a deaf ear to my heart cries. The seasons of financial concerns, children’s illnesses, broken relationships, disappointments, family deaths – including, my own precious husband’s passing. I was in the cocoon during those times – going through what seemed to be, personal death, but, God was using those seasons to instill in me, hope, trust and belief that He was in control, and that He was creating a butterfly that could soar further and higher than I could have imagined. It was in those dark seasons that my faith grew stronger and stronger. And, I assure you, I have broken free from the cocoon and I am flying today. No question -- the cocoon WAS painful. But were it not for the transition and change, I would have never known the joy, freedom and beauty of flying to such heights today. To be able to dance in the rain, to celebrate each new day with the wonderment of a child, to laugh at myself, to look in the mirror and see LIFE being lived to its fullest is wonderful. Winter and living in the cocoon was yesterday, but Springtime has come -- and my new life as a butterfly was worth the stillness and death and preparation. Isn't it time for you to break free of your cocoon, too? The vantage point from up here to down there as a caterpillar, sure does make a difference!! "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalms 30:11