One Hot Mess Because Life Can Be Messy

I have served on faith-based women's teams and was amused when I heard some of the young women, after a long day of being "mom” to their young family, exclaim “I’m a hot mess!” I’ll admit I didn't know what that meant but it did seem they were frazzled and welcomed being a part of a faith group where they could “chill” a while. I googled "hot mess"! It's a state of extreme disarray; disheveled or unbalanced person, particularly one who is nevertheless still attractive! Aw! So I wasn’t too far off when I saw them frazzled and beautiful!

I'm sure I could have said that about myself as a young mom. I dreamed of being the perfect mom and pastor's wife. I wanted my "two" to be exemplary model children for others. But, they were normal kids who could act up and out just like the others. It perplexed me and I went down to the altar for prayer to be THAT mom and wife who merited the gold-star-winning, woman of the year. An older, wiser woman knelt down beside me, wrapped her loving arms around me and said, “Sweet girl, let go of your need for perfection. God just wants you to “Come as you are” – just keep coming to Him. He will turn what seems to be a mess into a beautiful message for others." Oh, my! She had "read my mail" and my heart. I felt refreshed and assured that my kids and I were going to be okay – just as we were. Suddenly it seemed attainable to raise a couple of kids, keeping life in order, and everything running smoothly, happy and clean.

But, then I went home and life had its messy moments again. Some days, wife-ing and parenting is just a hot mess. It doesn’t always go as planned. We get tired. When we’ve finally figured out one stage, another begins. We look for someone, like my "church" friend to wrap their arms around us and tell us everything’s gonna’ be alright. “You’re doing a good job.”

We listen to accusing lies that we know are not from God, but play over and over in our minds, “a good mom would never do that, why can’t you get it together, why can’t you be more like…” We start believing it to be the truth. The days seem so long. The ones when you’ve had more than enough of being a chauffeur, or referee between the kids, or hearing “mom” every few seconds. And just when you hear a friend tell you she’s headed with her hubby to a remote island for a week….

You stop and take a deep breath. You look into the eyes of these treasures who call you Mom…who you love more than life itself…and you realize how very blessed you are. And you notice not only the days have gone by, but some years have too. And suddenly you long for it to slow down. The “Aha” moment happens and you realize that maybe you are doing it. Maybe you are living a dream that is the right one for you. And you breathe in God's grace…again. Because life was never meant to be perfect. Life was just meant to be lived. Hope arises. You let go of those high expectations of perfect bliss somewhere else.

You realize your "hot mess" isn't really hot at all. It is a place of sweet life words found in the mess of the toys on the floor and fingerprints on the wall. Words of grace, straight from the heart of a joy-filled 5-year-old soul who knows what it is to live and to love. Love God, love your family, love yourself. So simple and so true. “Wherever you go, God goes with you.” (Joshua 1:9) He is in our mess, in our imperfections, in our day to day, in the ordinary, in the times when no one else sees, or knows, or cares. He’s there. With us. Perfect doesn’t matter. It never did. And all the other stuff we stress and worry about, it doesn’t really matter either. But love, it matters. He whispers His words of life and love over you today: “Good job, Mom, I am with you. And, together…..we’re gonna rock this!

Our Room With a View

After a sweet heaven-on-earth few days at Beavers Bend with my family, we parted ways as they returned to Frisco, and I headed to Tulsa because the next day I would be attending a Confirmation Retreat as a sponsor to a precious teenage girl. First things first when I go to Tulsa -- I go to see Mom and spend time with her while Karen and George get to have a date night. As it turned out, the night became one that we had to rush Mom to the hospital ER because of medical concerns, which ended up being two days of Mom, Karen and I being “guests” of the Oklahoma Heart Institute Hospital for Mom to undergo many tests and procedures. Thankfully, I can report, as of last night, Mom is back at home in Tulsa and I am back home in Frisco.After a sweet heaven-on-earth few days at Beavers Bend with my family, we parted ways as they returned to Frisco, and I headed to Tulsa because the next day I would be attending a Confirmation Retreat as a sponsor to a precious teenage girl. First things first when I get to Tulsa -- go see Mom and spend time with her while Karen and George get to have a date night. As it turned out, the night became one that we had to rush Mom to the hospital ER, which ended up being two days of Mom, Karen and I being “guests” of the Oklahoma Heart Institute Hospital for Mom to undergo many tests and procedures. Thankfully, I can report, as of last night, Mom is back at home in Tulsa and I am back home in Frisco.

God’s timing was impeccable. Of all times for me to be in Tulsa when I could be a moral support to Sis and help carry the responsibility of the next couple of days. Teamwork lightens the load. We grabbed a couple of hours of sleep with one of us in the chair and the other on the window seat. When the sun came up, that first morning and we looked out the window, we saw our view from Mom’s room. We realized we had a “Room with a View” in this 5-Star Hotel --er’ hospital! The gorgeous Tulsa skyline welcomed us to this new day of faith and hope. It’s a matter of perspective – being IN a room that accommodates every medical device and equipment imaginable which could accompany all kinds of concerns and wonderings about what this day and tomorrow could hold. Or, it could be looking OUTSIDE that room to the beautiful skies, the Tulsa skyline, as well as the fond remembrances of walking in Pro-Life marches, participating in charitable organizations benefits, remembering the Route 66 marathons that I and family and friends ran on those streets, the great restaurants and shopping that THAT VIEW gave us instead of worries and concerns.

A special memory that came back to us was 10 years ago when in this same hospital when Mom was a patient and we were snowed in for days. Karen and I were Mom’s roommates then and because of the impassable roads, medical personnel had to use vacant rooms to sleep in. We had other memories in this hospital as my sweet husband was in there two separate times. I reminisced about our “Trust Me and relax" message from God during times of overwhelming concern and worry.

Karen and I were Ron’s (my husband/her brother) prayer team. We would go for walks during “stressful times’ at the hospital. We could have worried, but we turned those times into opportunities for stretching our faith muscles. During one of those “faith walk” times, we noticed a mama cat and her baby kitten, lying on the grass at the corner of the hospital grounds. They watched us intently, and unlike wild cats, they never flinched. Immediately, we could sense God saying to us "Just like these cats….. RELAX – be in peace -- I am with you." After those sweet prayer moments, we could go to sleep….completely at peace, knowing that God would be orchestrating the plans for the next day. And, He most certainly did. That’s where we are with Mom. At 95, there are expected AND unexpected ups and downs along the way. After all, lots of body parts in these bodies that have many miles on them. You just never know when a replacement or tune-up is necessary. At the end of a couple of days of little sleep, we cherished our “Room with a View” because the view we’ve come to know is God’s view.

Maybe the view of your circumstances has you overwhelmed and your heart is heavy with troubles that loom in the “room” you are in. Maybe it’s time to take a little walk and have a talk with He Who knows everything about everything and He wants you to turn your cares over to Him. He knows what tomorrow holds, so why not allow Him to orchestrate the details? In the meantime, take a deep breath and RELAX…..God has got this! Turn that ROOM you are in, into a ROOM WITH A VIEW of God’s faithfulness, of His promises to never leave you or forsake you, of turning your mourning into dancing and the spirit of heaviness into joy. THAT room, my friends, is better than a 5-Star hotel!

GONE Fishing!

Another gift Payton received for his birthday was "going fishing". He got to bring a friend with him this time. Before, it was Papa and I taking him and Lexi fishing to our favorite fishing spot, Marvel Camp in Gore, OK. And that's where we came yesterday. Larry and the boys are in one of these great cabins on the Illinois River and Staci, Lexi and I are in the cabin next door.

There are no adequate words to describe what this place means to me. My husband, Ron and I, loved bringing the two older grandkids here each summer. They called it the "Red Neck Yacht Club". They made up that term the first time they saw folks with their lawn chairs, right in the middle of the river....fishing! What hilarious and fun adventures we had -- sitting by the campfire, kayaking, and FISHING. And then, it was Payton and Lexi's turn. The memories made here have lasted a long time, but the sweetest memories are those we want to re-live. That's what we're doing this weekend.

We have always been a family that loves to fish -- each and every one of us -- some more -- some less. We come from a long line of fishermen. My sweet husband led the way for me when we were first married. We would drive from Dallas to Lake Lavon when we'd get off work or go on the weekends to fish. We'd put on our hip waders and walk in below the dam and fish for bass. I would be lined up right beside all the guys. Someone would get a strike and yell "FISH ON!", and the rest of us would reel in our lines so as not to get tangled up in his line with the fish coming in! That started my love of fishing. And, that love has been passed down now to our children and grandchildren. Fortunately, my two youngest boys live right on a creek where they're hauling fish in, almost daily.

Payton, our 3rd-born grandson, because they lived in the same city as us, had more time to spend with Papa and his love of fishing. That was another reason for the tight bond he and Papa had.

There’s something to be said for getting away from it all to get back to God’s creation and “chill”. Chillin’ is what we’re doing. We laugh a lot, tell stories a lot, patiently put our bait on the hook, and cast – over and over again. It’s a routine that brings so many rewards: family togetherness, celebrating life, making memories that will last a lifetime, therapeutic peace and quiet, friendly competition (Who can get the biggest one?) AND the ultimate reward….catching fish for a big old fish fry! Whoo hoo!

What do you do that takes you to a place of peace, quiet, and REWARDS?