Just Taking it All In with a Let-it-Go Frame-of-Mind

I’m an “all in” kind-of-gal. I’ll admit that being all-in is easy when it comes to savoring the moments with my grandchildren. Sweet one-on-one time with my grown-up ones -- Braden and his wife, Ruth, and Barrett, while I was in Austin doing animal care. Braden and Ruth are still "honeymooning" after nearly three years of marriage. Maybe 2020 will be the year for a great grand-baby; at least that’s what a little bird told me! I’m not holding my breath, but, after seeing “The Lion King”, yesterday with the four younger grands, I started getting excited about the potential of the “circle of life” continuing in our family.

I’m an “all in” kind-of-gal. I’ll admit that being all-in is easy when it comes to savoring the moments with my grandchildren. Sweet one-on-one time with my grown-up ones -- Braden and his wife, Ruth, and Barrett, while I was in Austin doing animal care. Braden and Ruth are still "honeymooning" after nearly three years of marriage. Maybe 2020 will be the year for a great grand-baby; at least that’s what a little bird told me! I’m not holding my breath, but, after seeing “Lion King” with the four younger grands, I started getting excited about the potential of the “circle of life” continuing in our family.

When trying to decide “What should we do today?” and the suggestion of Chuck-E-Cheese came up – we were all in…. again! (Yes, this crew STILL wants to hang out there) – so funny to see them all so determined to chalk up more tickets than ever before – final count after pizza and two hours of play: 3,150! The next day they chose Ninja Nation – an American Ninja Warrior-like facility where obstacle courses give kids and adults body challenging action. Only problem was the blisters on their softy hands from hanging on bars and other obstacles. The new "Lion King" movie gave us all great feel-good feelings. The story line is similar to the original animated version, but the computer-generated life-like characters, music and current one-liners made for such a great afternoon.

In between all the go-to activities is always Nana’s standby oldie but goodie, Nintendo 64 – Mario Party, and other games that make me laugh, considering the current high-tech versions of video games on their phones and theater screens at home. A bocce championship on the courts in my community made for hilarious competition: Bryson and I on one team and Payton and Brennan on the other. Bryson and I, calmly accepting or not getting another “closest to the palino” score, while the other two highly-competitive guys throwing themselves on the ground in defeat or chest-bumping each other in the win. We had to have a play-off for the championship game and Bryson and I, gracefully, congratulated the winners in all their glory!

Maybe you’re still in the parenting mode, but, before long (Trust me…..the time flies!), grand-parenting will become a part of your world, and in that case, my PRO-Nana recommendation is to get intimately involved in their lives. Moms and dads are no doubt the greatest influencers, but grandparents can come in a close second. My husband and I teamed up for the first many years of the older kids’ lives. The youngest two only get me – so I have to step it up and be all in for both of us now. It isn’t a hard task. It’s a circle-of-life pleasure for me.

We always wanted our grandchildren to know that we pray for them, stand ready to be there for them, and to support them as best we could. I'm, by no means, wanting to be dishing out a guilt trip to anyone that doesn't have that "bent", but I assure you, there is nothing to compare to that precious love and hearing: "Nana, I love you so much! Am I your favorite?” And my reply, “Yes, you’re my favorite Payton! Alexia! Bryson! Brennan!” Along with this over-the-top, care-free spirit of this grandmother, is a brilliant one who knows…I love them too much to compare them or to even want them to be alike in any way. Just like God, I love them with the love of a devoted, grateful, and indescribable love that only grandparents AND God understands.

"The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent." -- Sam Levenson

One Hot Mess Because Life Can Be Messy

I have served on faith-based women's teams and was amused when I heard some of the young women, after a long day of being "mom” to their young family, exclaim “I’m a hot mess!” I’ll admit I didn't know what that meant but it did seem they were frazzled and welcomed being a part of a faith group where they could “chill” a while. I googled "hot mess"! It's a state of extreme disarray; disheveled or unbalanced person, particularly one who is nevertheless still attractive! Aw! So I wasn’t too far off when I saw them frazzled and beautiful!

I'm sure I could have said that about myself as a young mom. I dreamed of being the perfect mom and pastor's wife. I wanted my "two" to be exemplary model children for others. But, they were normal kids who could act up and out just like the others. It perplexed me and I went down to the altar for prayer to be THAT mom and wife who merited the gold-star-winning, woman of the year. An older, wiser woman knelt down beside me, wrapped her loving arms around me and said, “Sweet girl, let go of your need for perfection. God just wants you to “Come as you are” – just keep coming to Him. He will turn what seems to be a mess into a beautiful message for others." Oh, my! She had "read my mail" and my heart. I felt refreshed and assured that my kids and I were going to be okay – just as we were. Suddenly it seemed attainable to raise a couple of kids, keeping life in order, and everything running smoothly, happy and clean.

But, then I went home and life had its messy moments again. Some days, wife-ing and parenting is just a hot mess. It doesn’t always go as planned. We get tired. When we’ve finally figured out one stage, another begins. We look for someone, like my "church" friend to wrap their arms around us and tell us everything’s gonna’ be alright. “You’re doing a good job.”

We listen to accusing lies that we know are not from God, but play over and over in our minds, “a good mom would never do that, why can’t you get it together, why can’t you be more like…” We start believing it to be the truth. The days seem so long. The ones when you’ve had more than enough of being a chauffeur, or referee between the kids, or hearing “mom” every few seconds. And just when you hear a friend tell you she’s headed with her hubby to a remote island for a week….

You stop and take a deep breath. You look into the eyes of these treasures who call you Mom…who you love more than life itself…and you realize how very blessed you are. And you notice not only the days have gone by, but some years have too. And suddenly you long for it to slow down. The “Aha” moment happens and you realize that maybe you are doing it. Maybe you are living a dream that is the right one for you. And you breathe in God's grace…again. Because life was never meant to be perfect. Life was just meant to be lived. Hope arises. You let go of those high expectations of perfect bliss somewhere else.

You realize your "hot mess" isn't really hot at all. It is a place of sweet life words found in the mess of the toys on the floor and fingerprints on the wall. Words of grace, straight from the heart of a joy-filled 5-year-old soul who knows what it is to live and to love. Love God, love your family, love yourself. So simple and so true. “Wherever you go, God goes with you.” (Joshua 1:9) He is in our mess, in our imperfections, in our day to day, in the ordinary, in the times when no one else sees, or knows, or cares. He’s there. With us. Perfect doesn’t matter. It never did. And all the other stuff we stress and worry about, it doesn’t really matter either. But love, it matters. He whispers His words of life and love over you today: “Good job, Mom, I am with you. And, together…..we’re gonna rock this!