The Invitation Read: Bring Spouses

Last week, in a group text message, I was invited to a Christmas Party and the invitation read: “Bring Spouses”. Immediately a “little” pang hit my heart and I replied: “I wish!” Soon the “singles” started texting me love and stated, “We’ll have a ‘single for now’ section!” LOL! I was really being facetious because, with God's grace, I’ve adapted well to my "single” status.

Yes, “Single” is the box I check in “Marital Status” now if it doesn’t have a box “Widow(er)” to check. These photos are of the last Christmas we had with my Sweetheart, my children’s dad, and my grandchildren’s Papa, Christmas 2009. Then, I checked the “Married” box. Honestly, I’d trade every Christmas present for the rest of my life for 5 more minutes with my Ron on this side of heaven. I’d snuggle in to tell him everything he meant to me in those 5 minutes. My encouragement to you, whether you bear the “single” OR “married” status, is to value what's really important and convey the words of what your loved ones mean to you, cherish them with all your heart because it's not what comes under the tree that counts." Comfort and joy are ours when we embrace it.

I often speak or write about the seasons in our lives. We ebb and flow our way through the years, never feeling like we are always weak, always strong, always tired, always victorious. Sometimes we stand tall and we fight. Sometimes we go dormant and we rest. Sometimes we reflect and grow. We don’t have to be “on” every single day of our lives. But, dear friends, we should never believe when we’re down, we are destined to stay there. Life will ebb and flow and our seasons will change. The season of being a couple and bringing my spouse with me to an event has changed, but you know what? I changed too! I was willing to change and in this season, I’m embracing the change. I sit with my single friends, laugh and celebrate life with them. But I also sit with my married friends (some of whom are my closest friends), hang out with them, and even travel with my married friends. I’m not defined by my marital status and neither should you be. Perhaps being defined by our relationship status with our Lord, is the status that matters the most because, in Him, we are complete.

Yes, Christmas is so much more than all the tree and food trimmings, the gift giving and the holiday parties and programs. The original Christmas story was also about seasons. A savior was born into the world – with hope for all mankind -- only to grow up and face rejection, betrayal, and death. All that we go through, He’s been through. Our hurt and our joy, He knows it. After enduring death on the cross and three days in the grave, our hope rose again.

Those of you who are hurting deeply this holiday season, I am so sorry, and I pray in the midst of your pain, you’ll find many moments of hope and joy. Make the moments count with loved ones. Turn your sadness into gratitude for those in your life, still on this side of heaven. Give them the gift of you putting on a "garment of praise" instead of having a spirit of heaviness. Let's be full of joy and resolute determination to be "present" with them. What a wonderful gift to give those around us when we can offer "sacrifices" of joy in the midst of this season. We might find them in the beauty of a Christmas tree that lights a darkened room or in the kitchen with our kids or grandkids icing cookies. Maybe we’ll experience a moment of satisfaction enjoying a meal and conversation with loved ones. We may even feel a glimmer of hope at the sound of Christmas carols, the warmth of a fire, or the sight of our children unwrapping gifts. It’s tender moments like these that will sustain us.

And next year, when we’re in a new season, we’ll look back and say, "That pain almost did me in, but because of God's grace there were moments where I saw Him. Those glimpses of joy reminded me of what life could be. It’s because of those moments that I not only survived but thrived. Don't let pain rob you of God’s small graces and tender hugs and embraces. Keep your heart settled on the good news of comfort and joy!

God's Rhythms Include High AND Low Notes

Life is interesting, isn’t it? We go through different stages of life in what seems like a blink of an eye. After my sweetheart left for his heavenly assignment, the sweet rhythm of God’s grace and love had a steady flow that kept me wrapped up in such peace and security. I had my family, church, church family, a home in a lovely community and the friends that went along with it. Sure there were highs and lows, but they came in and went out – like the tide’s ebb and flow. Beautiful rhythms.

Then the big change came for me when I moved from those comfortable rhythms in that season of life to Texas where the rhythms weren't as in-sync. Sometimes it’s part of God’s grand scheme of things to break up the monotony of our lives so that we don’t become “matter-of-fact” and take life for granted. Sometimes it’s a good thing to explore and experience some out-of-the-box times that produce growth, some new muscle, new insight and a fresh new rhythm.

When I took on the care of these 32 animals (my idea) at my children’s place here in Austin, my rhythms were way off. I think those animals sensed my trepidation. The goats and donkeys took advantage of me, the novice farm-hand, by overpowering my obvious inexperience. And then some of the chickens escaped under the fence and I was chasing them -- pardon the pun -- like a chicken with her head cut off. And if you didn’t know, chickens are fast. I’m sure you would have been greatly entertained if you had seen me. I finally cornered them and took them home, and then commenced to haul over rocks to the fence to cover the just-big-enough-to-escape holes.

I am so pleased to report that my mentality changed from “out-of-sync” to “I’ll show you who's boss” rhythms! Now, it’s smooth, calm and in-sync here at Old Mac-Donna’s farm. In fact, I think I’ve conquered any fears or concerns about handling this experience. The bigger animals respect me when I come out with their feed bowls. Now, I have a well-thought-out plan that calmly separates them, respectfully, at meal-time. They love it when I scratch their heads and backs. The ducks, chickens, hens, and roosters are behaving like well-behaved critters (instead of “gangsters” like I called those who escaped their pen), and those mama hens are producing a lot of eggs for me – so yummy! There’s nothing like fresh eggs. I feel like I have an enjoyable rhythm playing now.

I had one of those “King David” moments (1 Samuel 30:6) when he encouraged himself. I encourage myself with remembering what God said about “taking dominion” in Genesis 1:28. “And God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” I mustered up that dominion attitude with wisdom and strength and an empowered mindset. I took matters into my "rhythmic" hands that are empowered by God's strong and mighty hands and made some positive decisions. The best part, I realized I have the opportunity to use my faith to make those “walls of barn stalls and fences of chicken coops of discomfort” tumble down by getting into God’s rhythm of dominion over those things and animals that try to overpower me. THAT includes the enemy of my soul! Dumb devil!!!

Thank you, Lord, for learning more about You from your creation. The flowers have a rhythm to bud and eventually grow; your animal creation has rhythms of living in-sync with your creative abilities in them. I really appreciate the slow and smooth rhythms that are so sweet, but I thank You for even the staccato, disconnected rhythms – because more than anything I desire to be in sync with Your ebbs and flows – in tempo that connects me to your ways which are so much higher than my ways!

The Rhythms of Life and How They Ebb and Flow

Life is interesting, isn’t it? We go through different stages of life in what seems like a blink of an eye. After my sweetheart left for his heavenly assignment, the sweet rhythm of God’s grace and love had steady flow that kept me wrapped up in such peace and security. I had my family, church, church family, a home in a lovely community and the friends that went along with it. Sure there were ups and downs, but they came in and went out – like the tide’s ebb and flow. Beautiful rhythms.

Then the big change came for me when I moved from those comfortable rhythms in that season of life, to Texas where, honestly, I’m still endeavoring to establish some consistent rhythms again. I get it -- I've wandered for a while from city to city and church to church – store to store – street to street – looking for familiarity and a consistent rhythm.

Night before last, I went to bed feeling completely out of sync. But, during the night, I had one of those “King David” moments (1 Samuel 30:6) when he encouraged himself. I encouraged myself. I determined to give the worries to God and recognize that I can’t, but HE CAN! He tells us so in this scripture: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest (sweet rhythm) for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29.

I bounced out of bed yesterday morning with an empowered mindset. I took matters into my "rhythmic" hands that are empowered by God's strong and mighty hands and made some positive decisions. The best part, I realized I have the opportunity to use my faith to make those “walls of discomfort” tumble down by praising and thanking God for so many blessings. Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything, but in EVERYTHING, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Did He say EVERYTHING? Yes, and what’s so exciting is that we are told to come in confidence, knowing, with relief, that He loves us enough to want us there, right at His feet resting in His love and grace.

Most importantly, I got out of myself and into sharing God’s love and encouragement with a young tow truck driver (that's a story for another day) and an air conditioner technician (another story for another day) -- and was even able to pray with one to find his way back to God. It’s amazing how people open up when they sense "a rhythm" of God’s love coming at them.

Thank you, Lord, for the slow and smooth rhythms that are so sweet, but I thank You for even the staccato, disconnected rhythms – because more than anything I desire to be in sync with Your ebbs and flows – in tempo that connects me to your ways which are so much higher than my ways!