I Just Want a Gold Star

I was in a bit of a funk yesterday. Even though I've succeeded at getting quite a few household things done, as well as served in many ways during this time of quarantine, and posted my daily blog, still I'm not satisfied. As the doors for restaurants, businesses, and even my church are starting to open more, I’m self-analyzing myself. Did I read the books I was hoping to read? No. Did I immerse myself into God and His Word more than ever because I had the time to do so? I’m ashamed to say that I really didn’t dive as deep into His open arms as I thought I would have. Do I feel that my blogs really impacted my readers and made a difference in their lives? Not so much!

Suddenly, I have a “moment” when I sense the enemy of my heart is assaulting me. The script goes like this: “You can’t be used by God,” "You're over-the-hill -- you're done!" “Who do you think you are?” The lies of the enemy are that we can never measure up to God’s “do good” charts. You know the ones in Sunday School – if we memorized that scripture or we brought a friend with us, we’d get a sticky star by our name. Or the charts our parents made for us to do our chores? I want God's gold star by my name on His "do good" chart.

But then, into my little space, comes the assurance that it isn't God making me feel inadequate and insecure. It is always the voice of the enemy that deceives, belittles and makes us feel we're not enough. I look up scriptures and it is clear who accuses us and lies to us: "The devil was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44) And, this scripture: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

And the icing on the cake was this scripture: "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4) So, therefore "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) So, take that, Satan!

I have come to know that if we are showing up to serve God, if we are seeking to follow Him, and some-thing or some-one is trying to push us away, then we can be sure it is not God. He is not saying we are disqualified. He’s not hollering “shape up or ship out.” His instruction isn’t, “Come back when you’ve got it together.” Instead His invitation is, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).

God Doesn’t Call the Equipped -- He Equips the Called

Many times I have felt inadequate to fulfill the call of God on my life. I sincerely wanted to be the picture of a dutiful homemaker (okay, I know you women libbers out there are gagging at the thought), but that was my desire. I married young and I wanted to be a model wife for my young husband. I was woefully inadequate when we started out. I could cook the recipes I learned in Home Economics. Once “my calling” was given some time, I was equipped to be a devoted, washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning-machine wife. I also worked a full-time job and served at my church. My young 17-year-old self could do all that, plus – just a year later, become a mother, who by the time our little guy showed up on planet earth, I had nipped the childcare role in the bud. After all, I had been a baby sitter since the age of 12, so I knew the ropes…well, except for when he was sick, and God equipped me to handle those challenges. He “called” me to be a wife and mother. He equipped me. I yielded to His instructions -- sometimes. Other times, I’d regrettably take matters in my own hands – only to rewind and let God do what He does best – equip me with His special, handcrafted abilities.

Within each of us are all the tools we need to fulfill God’s call on our lives. I didn’t realize how equipped I was for widowhood until I became one. This girl could actually live life to its fullest on her own. She could run her business, sell her home, then, buy and build a new home, do her own accounting, become a blogger, repair many things in her home and car, take to the road travelling many miles to see family and friends. This girl, ME, was called to widowhood. I was equipped to handle it.

It’s like a bird – God gave them wings; He equipped them with what they need, but they don’t use them until they have to. I witnessed that with the little cardinals and doves that nested around my home. Initially they clung close to the nest, waiting for mama or papa bird to bring them what they needed, but before long…..they found that within them was the equipment they needed to soar.

We often find ourselves wondering what God has equipped us with – only to discover that we weren’t choosing to use what we had been given unless we absolutely had to. Maybe you find yourself struggling with purpose or fearful to take a step in the direction that God is nudging you towards. God has already equipped you to serve Him wherever you are right now. He will give you the strength to use all you have been given, so get ready to step up to the task. God doesn’t call the equipped, Child of God. God equips the called. And you have been called.

"Now may the God of peace.....EQUIP you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." (Hebrews 13:20)