I Just Want a Gold Star

I was in a bit of a funk yesterday. Even though I've succeeded at getting quite a few household things done, as well as served in many ways during this time of quarantine, and posted my daily blog, still I'm not satisfied. As the doors for restaurants, businesses, and even my church are starting to open more, I’m self-analyzing myself. Did I read the books I was hoping to read? No. Did I immerse myself into God and His Word more than ever because I had the time to do so? I’m ashamed to say that I really didn’t dive as deep into His open arms as I thought I would have. Do I feel that my blogs really impacted my readers and made a difference in their lives? Not so much!

Suddenly, I have a “moment” when I sense the enemy of my heart is assaulting me. The script goes like this: “You can’t be used by God,” "You're over-the-hill -- you're done!" “Who do you think you are?” The lies of the enemy are that we can never measure up to God’s “do good” charts. You know the ones in Sunday School – if we memorized that scripture or we brought a friend with us, we’d get a sticky star by our name. Or the charts our parents made for us to do our chores? I want God's gold star by my name on His "do good" chart.

But then, into my little space, comes the assurance that it isn't God making me feel inadequate and insecure. It is always the voice of the enemy that deceives, belittles and makes us feel we're not enough. I look up scriptures and it is clear who accuses us and lies to us: "The devil was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44) And, this scripture: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

And the icing on the cake was this scripture: "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4) So, therefore "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) So, take that, Satan!

I have come to know that if we are showing up to serve God, if we are seeking to follow Him, and some-thing or some-one is trying to push us away, then we can be sure it is not God. He is not saying we are disqualified. He’s not hollering “shape up or ship out.” His instruction isn’t, “Come back when you’ve got it together.” Instead His invitation is, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).

Enough is Enough

Ever said those words? We've prayed for changes to the point of exhaustion, but it seems our prayers are only hitting the ceiling. We feel hopeless and disappointed. The sheer monotony of it all is tiring! Maybe your "enough" is one more day of isolation or home-schooling or face-mask wearing. I noticed that the quarantine is far more stringent in Austin than has been in Frisco where I live. Any stores opened, required face masks. I had never worn a mask until I saw this "must wear a mask" sign. I wore the "eye" mask in my car that I keep on hand in case I need to pull off the road for a little R&R! And what about the quarantine frontliners? I saw the marks on their faces. They might be saying "enough is enough"!

Then there's the enemy of our souls who taunts us with "You’re not good enough, young enough, smart enough”. You’re NOT enough”. I get that. Praying, giving and caring for others just doesn't seem enough. Doing the right thing doesn’t seem to be enough. We take it as long as we can then we declare: "ENOUGH already!"

Truthfully, those thoughts are likely right on. We aren’t enough and we don’t have to feel guilty for the frustration. Even Jesus admitted in the Garden that He would rather have the cup pass from Him. He understands us and, mercifully, we don’t have to be enough because He IS enough! His love for us is inexhaustible. No matter how much of God’s generous love we experience, there is always more available for the asking. St. Paul, instead of declaring "enough", gave us the key to survival: "He (God) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I was a co-narrator for a Jewish Seder Passover Meal at my church. A beautiful prayer recited during the meal, included the refrain “Dayenu” which translates to “It would have been ENOUGH for us.” Here is an excerpt from that prayer:

“God, if You had only created us, it would have been enough for us. If You had only freed us from slavery in Egypt, it would have been enough for us. If You had only given us your wise Law, it would have been enough for us. If You had only fed us with manna, it would have been enough for us. If You had only brought us into the Promise Land, it would have been enough."

The prayer lists many more of God's blessings that were poured out on His people. It concludes: “How much more do we have to be thankful for the manifold and unbounded blessings of our All-Present God!” That is a prayer for us today! No matter how much we realize the goodness and mercy of our God, there is always more. I'm sure we have been blessed in ways that we haven’t even noticed. There is never a reason to doubt that God wants to give us more, and in fact, is likely orchestrating the presentation of that MORE right now!

Maybe we should come up with our own "Dayenu" list. We should think of the ways our Heavenly Father has provided for us, blessed us, and revealed His love to us.

“Lord, if you had only forgiven my sins and removed my guilt, it would have been enough. But You have done so much more. All praise to You, my God of MORE THAN ENOUGH!”

What is YOUR Motivation for Change?

What is YOUR Motivation for Change?
The Great Escape -- so, I’ve been in Austin with my family since last week. Talk about change – from my quiet, non-eventful life, to nearly non-stop activity with this crew. My quiet peace zone at home has certainly been interrupted, which is fine with me.

My second to the oldest grandson, Bear, asked for a date-night with me. Be still my heart. He drove to downtown Austin for a take-out meal fit for a queen. We enjoyed our “date” out by the pool and commenced to go to the theater (rather, the theater room) to see an epic movie “The Two Popes”. (Recommend it!) The attention to his planned night touched me so much. Then I loved spending time with his adorable girl friend when she came down on Sunday.

The youngest grandson, Bryson, age 13, still wants to sleep with me. I hope that doesn’t end any time soon. Sweet memories of chattering about this and that, praying together, and falling to sleep. And, yesterday taking a trip to nearby Reimer's Park. He had told his Dad “Nana would be inspired with a blog if she were here.” And, yes I was!

Oldest grandson, Braden, and his precious wife, Ruth, spent three days with us. I loved catching up with their dreams, aspirations and hopes. Sweet Ruth worked many extra hours as a neonatal NICU nurse during the quarantine and right in the middle of it had to have an appendectomy. She’s doing great, and she’s oh, so precious! I love the love these grands have for each other, playing games and spending time together.

Number #4 grandson, age 15, called on his mama and I to assist in two of his school projects. During this homeschooling, the students are doing virtual learning and reports or speeches that would usually be given in the classroom. This creative one, Brennan, had two presentations to give. His mom and I were his film crew. She was the camera-gal; I was the teleprompter supervisor. Oh, my, the hilarious times we had on Take 1, Take 2, Take 52, etc. And, oh, the precarious places were our locations! Thank goodness, this Nana has still got game!

Thanks for letting me bring you up-to-speed at the Wuerch's Austin ranch. The greatest take-away from my get-away from isolation-days has been how much sweeter are the days than I ever hoped for before. Gratitude just gets stronger for those things that don’t come as easy as they were before. There’s something about realizing that what seemed to be the greatest upset in our own personal lives, became a lot easier and faster to deal with than what we ever thought.

Sincerely – changes needed to be made. God probably shakes His head as He thinks “Why do my kids get so caught up on so much that is just temporary?” There is one guarantee in life: CHANGE will happen. Change is something we tend to fear and become anxious about because we feel out of control. But we have this blessed assurance. God NEVER changes. "I am the Lord, and I do not CHANGE.” (Malachi 3:6). He walks with us in every season of life -- no matter how easy or difficult. We can choose to accept CHANGE because God has a plan for our lives – to give us hope, a great future, and to prosper us. If we trust in God and allow the CHANGE to mature us in our faith and to grow us in becoming more like Him in how we respond and act, then we are promised that “Everything will work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

God orders our days. He knows the seasons we are exiting from and He also knows those we are about to enter. It’s a new day – yesterday is gone. Why don’t we awaken to the assurance that He KNOWS ALL and if we’ll board His ways, we’ll travel higher, further and safer than we could ever imagine. I think I hear Him saying to us “I’ve got this so let go and let Me carry you through each CHANGE. Relax. Enjoy the ride. Trust Me!”

Taking “Training Up a Child” to a Whole New Level

During this unexpected schooling-at-home, I have received so much entertainment from many of my friends. I’ve watched some hilarious antics, as well as creative YouTube videos of moms becoming “at-home-school” principals. One meme said: “Homeschool Day 1: Wondering how I can get this kid transferred out of my class”. Another one said: “It’s Day 1 of Homeschool: Out of the four of us, only three of us cried.” And, this one: “Home Schooling Update: My child just said I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.”

I was able to fly the coop to my Austin family. I'm enjoying my two youngest grands with their homeschooling. Bryson, age 13, is good at it since he's been homeschooled for years. Brennan, age 15, has adapted well. I witnessed him creating and giving a presentation via video in several locations around their property with creativity and ingenuity. Amazing!

Homeschooling wasn't a consideration back in my day. But, church-schooling was. In those years, we learned every Bible story and memorized a lot of scriptures. Even in those early years, we learned to call upon the God of those Bible stories and scriptures to be our "help". The older we became, the more we realized that all of those years of child training established us in life. We carried those same principles on, and into our children, who are leading their own children by that example.

I’ve loved seeing the moms and dads who are integrating Bible stories and scriptures into their homeschooling during this quarantine. The scripture “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he’ll not depart from it” is an ANCHOR scripture from Proverbs 22:6. What if God allowed these times to be the foundation for their present and future – even to the extent of their future children someday?

Children are so impressionable in their environments. Where there is abusive language and actions or where there is calm and patience – they will potentially take on as their normal. They learn by example. I realize our faith was built upon the example of our parents and what they taught us from the way they loved each other and spoke to or about each other. They instilled in us the fortitude, tenacity, unwavering faith and strength to draw from, and to know that God loves us unceasingly. They taught us that when the going gets tough and pressures seem insurmountable, we have a confidence in knowing God is able and willing to meet our every need. We know our hope and trust was, and always will be, in the One whose steadfast love never ceases and His faithfulness will always carry us through.

Seriously, dear moms and dads – my heart goes out to you and what you have been forced to take on during this time of quarantine. Hopefully, you’ll never be in these circumstances again after this quarantine ends. But, more than that, I pray these words impress you enough to never stop training your children and grandchildren in the ways they should go. I promise you...it is worth the effort!

I Flew the Coop After Forty Days of Quarantine

May 1st! Can we even believe it? We have learned some things during this time of quarantine that will serve us for the rest of our days. We've been given many opportunities to grow spiritually and for that we'll forever be grateful. I sincerely believe that God is in Master-control of everything! I am completely at peace when one of these days, He'll call my number and I’ll show up on time! I’m confident of this – like St. Paul writes: “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:10) Win – Win – either way!

I’m not an alarmist, but these times certainly do conjure up thoughts about our end of days. And if it is -- "What a day that will be when my Jesus I will see. I will look upon His face – the One Who saved me by His grace. When He takes me by the hand, and leads me to the Promise Land. What a day – glorious day that will be!" I’ve studied the Bible long enough that I know there are many proof-positives that God is up to something! This is a friend's FB post a few days ago that intrigued me:

“The official COVID-19 lockdown started March 23rd and will likely end May 1st. That is EXACTLY 40 days. The Latin root of the word "quarantine" is "forty". So, what does the Bible say about 40? The flood lasted 40 days -- for 40 years Moses fled to Egypt -- 40 days Moses stayed on Mount Sinai to receive the Ten Commandments -- the Exodus lasted 40 years -- Jesus fasted for 40 days – The law was 40 days for a woman to rest after giving birth – The optimum number of weeks for human gestation is 40.

A group of theologians says the number 40 represents change. It is the time of preparing a person, or people, to make a change. Something will happen after these 40 days. Just believe and pray. Remember, whenever the number 40 appears in the Bible, there is a change. Please know that during this quarantine, rivers are cleaning up, vegetation is growing, the air is becoming cleaner because of less pollution, there is less theft and murder, healing is happening, and most importantly, people are turning to Christ. The Earth is at rest for the first time in many years and hearts are truly transforming.

Remember we are in the year 2020 and 20 + 20 = 40. Also, 2020 is the year of the United States Census. Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, was born during a census. Lastly, 2020 is perfect vision. May our sight focus on the Lord and living according to His perfect vision for us knowing He holds us in the palm of His hand. May these days of quarantine bring spiritual liberation to our souls, our nation, and our world.”

That was a great lesson in numerology – a lot of people are into that study. And they give great credence to their findings. But, here’s what makes my day! One day history will come to a close and eternity will go forever. The future is as bright as the promises of God. Remember our reward will last forever. The Bible says, "Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all”. 2 Cor 4:17

Imagine what it is going to be like when one day, with ALL of us standing before the throne of God (no necessity for 6-foot social distancing there), as we present our lives in deep gratitude and praise to Christ. Together we will say, “Worthy, oh Master! Yes, our God! We will praise Him for His perfect plan and live for His purposes forever! Did I give you something to think about?

Being a Soul Searcher

I’ve been doing some soul-searching – especially about my attitude during this quarantine. Honestly, not too much in my life changed. Yes, I've missed my Austin and Tulsa family and I was sad about the retreat that was cancelled that we had been working on for months, but I had no special occasions or vacations planned, a job that I depended on, children who were missing their senior year activities, or the loss of a loved one.

Of course I can have a sunny disposition – I haven’t personally been touched with emotional or physical pain as some of you have. But today, I am a Soul Searcher. I think, maybe, my happy-sing-along-with-Donna attitude may have come across as insensitive. So, please, forgive me -- especially to those of you who have suffered loss and are still in a grieving mode. I sincerely mean it. To love you is to help bear your burdens.To love you is to wrap my arms around you (virtually) so you know how much I care and am praying that you will weather this storm with strength and resolve.

Among the recommendations for keeping us safe during the COVID-19 pandemic was to gargle with warm salt water. But, I thought about salt in a different way when I considered where some of my friends are at. I realized that my sunny disposition may not appeal to those who are in misery right now. Lots of disappointments, financial setbacks, dreams squelched, and really severe depression. That is not something to be “sunny” about. The saying goes “It’s like rubbing salt in a wound.

I do know that grief can slip in quietly behind our best defenses. I do know what it is to force thinking about good and hopeful things, but still the darkness won’t go. I also know more about strength and determination in God's timing that sure helps. I think King Solomon understood it when he told us “There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

I’m sure there are those who know that scripture and how seasons like this come and go. But, I also know weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing can all occur in one “up-and-down” day. I've learned it’s okay to have a good cry (like when I was going through old photos of my husband and I last week). I also know "Don't stay there!" I know to move on is to appreciate the beauty of the present. Grief-triggers used to be unwelcome visitors for me. I would refuse to allow myself to go there. But, I’ve learned that it’s okay to grieve -- temporarily – because to those who loved much – miss their loved one much. I embrace those memories as a chance to give thanks for God’s past gifts and to expect His work now and in the future.

Here’s my heart -- I’m so sorry for giving the impression that I don't care about my friends’ needs. I assure you I do care and I want to help you out of despair. Christ is alive so that we don’t have to mourn or grieve as those without Him do. He brings us beauty right in the middle of our hardest days and saddest seasons. And even though His work isn't always an immediate song and dance, He always presents us the opportunity to change: "He grants to those who mourn in Zion -- beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of heaviness." (Isaiah 61:3).

We don’t have to force the joy or avoid the pain. But we do entrust our sorrow and hurts to Jesus because He is a compassionate Savior who knows grief and understands sadness. He cradles us, He heals our brokenness, and He transforms the ashes we bring Him into a crown of beauty that only He can create. The "corona-virus" starts with corona (crown). Let's change clothes, put on the garment of praise and thanksgiving, our crown of beauty and expect the best is yet to come! I love you so much and I'm praying for your change of seasons and that your BEST days are ahead!!

Confidence has its Rewards

According to my journal, today is the 37th day of quarantine. How time flies when we’re having so much fun! Even though there are many still in “crisis” mode because of the effects of the virus on their bodies, so many in financial straits, and others exhausted as front-liners, the end is actually in sight!

I felt it yesterday when I walked by my community’s golf course that has been closed because of the pandemic. The golfers were out in abundance. We can get our hope up – our expectors expecting! Soon we’ll be back in the routines of daily go – go! Workers will go to work. Graduates will get to have their graduation. Huggers will get to hug again. Campaigners will campaign again. Restaurants will be open for business. Parks will be full. Sports arenas and fields and entertainment parks will resume. “Open for Business” will be the norm again. But, we will never forget the pandemic of 2020.

These weeks of mandatory separation from others has given me plenty of time for spring cleaning and organizing. But, it has also been a time of reflection for me and my thoughts. Like many others, I never thought I would see anything like this in my country. I believe this will go down in history as a time the Church stood strong and saw the salvation of the Lord! We didn’t waver in our faith and belief that God is alive and well and He is still in control. We continued to pray. We continued to watch on-line church and I think the Sabbath day became what God really modeled for us in creation. That it is the Sabbath day to be kept holy as a day of rest. We have stood strong and together in unity!

I became extremely nostalgic when I was looking through my large bin of photos. The bin tipped over from the vulnerable place where I sat it. Those photos scattered all over my garage floor. I am convinced it was God’s way of having me look back at all the blessings and joys of family and friends over the years. It was my incentive to organize all those photos (hundreds, maybe thousands) and put them in organized boxes for my children and me.

This scripture came to me "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which will be greatly rewarded...” (Hebrews 10:35) Those photos reminded me of some of the “wins” we had after struggles. And, that’s what God shows us in His Word. That "confidence" scripture comes just before a long list of heroes of faith listed in Hebrews 11. I am always encouraged when I read about those great women and men of faith. They endured, and were rewarded. And that’s how God wants us to live – not in the past of regret and remorse, but scriptures, photos and memories that illustrate confidence, endurance AND wins!

These last few weeks have definitely been a tester of our faith. God loves us so much and He has our best interests at heart. If His power was enough to defeat sin and raise His Son from the dead, surely, He is delivering us. We have learned so many lessons about trust during these times. We placed our lives in hands. We’ve trusted Him and we will continue to trust Him in whatever and wherever our faith journey takes us. Just think about the faith muscles we’ve acquired during this time. We’ve not only endured the season – we are making it through it. Our endurance has paid off because of our genuine faith and trust in our unfailing God.

We’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but we might be struggling with the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Oh, but, no fear, we know what lies ahead for us because our future is guaranteed by the Author and Finisher of our faith!

Thanks for the Memories, Kenny!

So what’s a girl to do on a day when she hears that a dear friend has passed away – especially when she’s in quarantine because of the C-virus? And, when she gets many text messages from friends and family who offer her condolences. She remembers. And, she recalls the love she shared with her lover listening to this man's love songs. SHE recommends that you lovers out there listen to those songs while you're in quarantine!

Last Friday, Kenny Rogers passed away. As a devoted fan of his for so many years, I couldn’t help but shed some big old crocodile tears as I let my mind go back to his many concerts that my husband and I attended. We felt like we knew him personally because his songs were so much a part of our lives. Any time he was within a couple of hours distance from us, we’d make sure we were at his concert.

I’m strong, resilient, determined and I live life to its fullest. I don’t often spend time just reminiscing the past. Looking in the rearview mirror and dwelling there gets us no place. But there are times when it’s okay to remember. I did that on Sunday after I had watched, via livestream, two church services and two masses – all four giving me so much gratitude and deeper love for my Lord. I took notes and journaled what I heard.

Then I called five friends to check on them and to spread some love and encouragement. But once I cozied down in my chair, I listened to some of our Kenny Rogers’ favorites: “She Believes in Me”, “Lady”, “You Decorated My Life” and our absolute favorite in our later years: “Through the Years”. I had me some big old melt down as I remembered my sweetheart’s arms around me and holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes as we heard those songs.

I remembered, when living in Canada, us following Kenny’s entourage to Morden, Manitoba. A white limousine led the way for several white Cadillacs. We had a white Cadillac, so we felt welcomed to follow right in line with them and into the private parking area as the guard waved us through. Kenny and his entourage walked in through the stage doors. We owned it and made our way in with them and into the best seats in the house. Kenny always said from the stage: “Lady, why do you have binoculars when you’re sitting on the front row?” That wasn’t me, because it wasn’t the man we admired as much as we did his songs and his beautiful vibrato voice.

True love didn’t quit through life’s ups and downs.“Through the Years” spoke volumes about two determined people willing to never give up. That song described us perfectly!

To love and be loved is life's sweetest treasure. But even more than the earthly love we enjoy, the most beloved relationship we could ever hope to have, is our relationship with God. What a beautiful romance I have had with Him through the years. He yearns to share a life of beauty, intimacy, and adventure with us. He says:“I have loved you with an everlasting love”. (Jeremiah 31:3) This world was made for romance -- the rivers, the meadows, the mountains and the beaches. Flowers, music, a kiss, a sunrise, a sunset, a touch.

Shhh! I hear Him singing a love song to me: "The LORD your God among you is powerful -- He will save and He will take joyful delight in you. In His love He will renew you with His love; He will celebrate with singing because of you". Zephaniah 3:17

Perhaps, as a jealous God for our affection, one of the reasons for the incubation and isolation we’re experiencing right now, is because He wants us to turn our attention to Him. We’ve got the time and we’re in just the right place to do that today!