Being a Soul Searcher

I’ve been doing some soul-searching – especially about my attitude during this quarantine. Honestly, not too much in my life changed. Yes, I've missed my Austin and Tulsa family and I was sad about the retreat that was cancelled that we had been working on for months, but I had no special occasions or vacations planned, a job that I depended on, children who were missing their senior year activities, or the loss of a loved one.

Of course I can have a sunny disposition – I haven’t personally been touched with emotional or physical pain as some of you have. But today, I am a Soul Searcher. I think, maybe, my happy-sing-along-with-Donna attitude may have come across as insensitive. So, please, forgive me -- especially to those of you who have suffered loss and are still in a grieving mode. I sincerely mean it. To love you is to help bear your burdens.To love you is to wrap my arms around you (virtually) so you know how much I care and am praying that you will weather this storm with strength and resolve.

Among the recommendations for keeping us safe during the COVID-19 pandemic was to gargle with warm salt water. But, I thought about salt in a different way when I considered where some of my friends are at. I realized that my sunny disposition may not appeal to those who are in misery right now. Lots of disappointments, financial setbacks, dreams squelched, and really severe depression. That is not something to be “sunny” about. The saying goes “It’s like rubbing salt in a wound.

I do know that grief can slip in quietly behind our best defenses. I do know what it is to force thinking about good and hopeful things, but still the darkness won’t go. I also know more about strength and determination in God's timing that sure helps. I think King Solomon understood it when he told us “There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

I’m sure there are those who know that scripture and how seasons like this come and go. But, I also know weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing can all occur in one “up-and-down” day. I've learned it’s okay to have a good cry (like when I was going through old photos of my husband and I last week). I also know "Don't stay there!" I know to move on is to appreciate the beauty of the present. Grief-triggers used to be unwelcome visitors for me. I would refuse to allow myself to go there. But, I’ve learned that it’s okay to grieve -- temporarily – because to those who loved much – miss their loved one much. I embrace those memories as a chance to give thanks for God’s past gifts and to expect His work now and in the future.

Here’s my heart -- I’m so sorry for giving the impression that I don't care about my friends’ needs. I assure you I do care and I want to help you out of despair. Christ is alive so that we don’t have to mourn or grieve as those without Him do. He brings us beauty right in the middle of our hardest days and saddest seasons. And even though His work isn't always an immediate song and dance, He always presents us the opportunity to change: "He grants to those who mourn in Zion -- beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of heaviness." (Isaiah 61:3).

We don’t have to force the joy or avoid the pain. But we do entrust our sorrow and hurts to Jesus because He is a compassionate Savior who knows grief and understands sadness. He cradles us, He heals our brokenness, and He transforms the ashes we bring Him into a crown of beauty that only He can create. The "corona-virus" starts with corona (crown). Let's change clothes, put on the garment of praise and thanksgiving, our crown of beauty and expect the best is yet to come! I love you so much and I'm praying for your change of seasons and that your BEST days are ahead!!

Made to Last Forever

Yesterday, my daughter and I attended the Celebration of Life service for Ron Haake, the precious husband of our dear cousin, Noreen. The family knew his graduation day was close at hand because his health had declined, but no matter when the time comes, we still experience the sudden jolt of separation of the one we have loved, done life with, dreamed and made memories with and served. It was an honor to attend the memorial service because we heard so much more about this wonderful man than what we had known before. The common theme throughout the service was that he was a man of wisdom, great humor, joy-giver, a mentor, patient, strong, and loved God and his family with all his heart.

There are so many emotions wrapped up in times of saying goodbye to a loved one: gladness/sadness, rejoicing/grieving, remembering/forgetting, keeping their things/giving things away, making decisions quick/slow. The words of King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3 are so true: “There's "a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance" -- and oh, so many more highs and lows.

From this widow's firsthand experience to Noreen and others, I say this: you'll have a roller coaster ride of emotions. I, too, know how much it hurts to see a loved one in so much pain. I know what it is for my loved one to "go home". I know what it is to not know what tomorrow holds. But, hold on children! Trust me when I tell you that the time comes when reality sets in and we realize "My loved one is gone. But, I'm not. I'm still here, so God isn't finished with me yet. Now it's time to run my race strong to my Finish Line!"

A resource book I've held dear to my heart is Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life". My favorite chapter is the one that is entitled "Made to Last Forever". This excerpt blesses me so much: "This life is not all there is. Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on the other side of death, in eternity, than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity. It is the practice workout before the actual game; the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next. The Bible says, "No mere man has ever seen, heard or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord." 1 Corinthians 2:9. For those who have a relationship with God through Jesus, we don't need to fear death. It is the door to eternity. It will be the last hour of our time on earth, but it won't be the last of us. Rather than being the end of our life, it will be our birthday into eternal life."

Ron's bags were packed. He was prepared and when his name was called, he walked through that door to eternity. As I was my sweetheart's midwife pushing him through that door, so was Noreen as she watched him go home last week. I loved how their son, Eric, concluded his talk about his dad. He said “My dad gave us another lesson for us to live by when my mom bent down to kiss him – he puckered up his lips. It was his last action on this earth and his last lesson for us to live by. I suggest that it be the rule to live by, too! Husbands and wives, pucker up more and life will be a lot sweeter.

Here's the best news of all.....we didn't say "Goodbye, Ron"; we just said, "See ya' later!" And, if we live each day as if it were our last, then we'll walk through that door to our home sweet home one day, too. The bands will be playing, the choirs will be singing and our loved ones will be on the sidelines cheering for us loud and strong as we cross our Finish Line. In the meantime, let's give our best to God in each day while we live with eternity in our hearts. I intend to finish strong right along with you!
I'll see ya' later!

Made to Last Forever

Jack Silvey, husband, of my dear friend, Jo Silvey, graduated to heaven yesterday. We knew this day was close because Jack has been ill for quite some time, but nevertheless when the time comes, we still experience the sudden jolt of separation from the one whom we have loved, adored, celebrated, served, made memories with, and dreamed with. So many emotions wrapped up in theses times: gladness/sadness, remembering/forgetting, rejoicing/grieving, funeral/graveside, keep their things/give away things, make decisions quick/slow, and with King Solomon we live his words from Ecclesiastes 3: There's "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance"....... and oh, so many more highs and lows. From this widow's first hand experience to Jo and others, I can tell you, it's a roller coaster ride of emotions. I know what it means to watch my loved one in so much pain; I know what it is for my loved one to "go home"; I know what it is to have to deal with financial issues; I know what it is to not know what tomorrow holds. But I can tell you the opportunity will soon be given to realize "My loved one is gone....but I'm not. I'm still here, so God isn't finished with me yet. Now it's time to run MY RACE strong to the Finish Line!"

One of the resource books I'm reading during my one month hiatus with God, is Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life". How applicable was the chapter, "Made to Last Forever" that was in my readings, yesterday. Listen to this excerpt: "This life is not all there is. Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on on the other side of death -- in eternity -- than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity. It is the practice workout before the actual game; the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next. The Bible says, "No mere man has ever seen, heard or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord." 1 Corinthians 2:9. If you have a relationship with God through Jesus, you don't need to fear death. It is the door to eternity. It will be the last hour of your time on earth, but it won't be the last of you. Rather than being the end of your life, it will be your birthday into eternal life. Years ago a popular slogan encouraged people to live each day as "the first day of the rest of your life." Actually, it would be wiser to live each day as if it were the last day of your life. Matthew Henry said, "It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day."

With those words, I'd like to congratulate my friend, Jack Silvey, because his bags were packed, he was prepared and when his name was called, he walked through that door to eternity. As I was my sweetheart's midwife pushing him through that door, so was Jo as she watched him go home yesterday. Here's the best news of all.....we didn't say "Good bye, Jack"; we just said, "See ya' later", because as we live each day as if it were our last.....then we'll walk through that door to our HOME SWEET HOME, too, and the bands will be playing, choirs will be singing and all our beloved loved ones will be on the sidelines cheering for us loud and strong as we cross our Finish Line. In the meantime, let's give our best to God in each day on this side of heaven while we live with eternity in our hearts. I intend to finish strong right along with You and You and You! See ya' later!