Living Life Out Loud

Living life out loud on Facebook has sure been an encouragement to me. I have found sweet peace in writing, which by the way, has been a gift I didn’t even realize I had. FB also became a place of solace because it connected me to thousands of friends, and family members. I needed that connection.

I’ve had the opportunity to write about my faith journey from my husband’s first diagnosis of Stage 4 Kidney Cancer, to his battle, victory over the disease, to our conquering and winning through it all……to his going home to heaven and to my new world as a widow. That diagnosis came as a complete shock to us. No words could adequately explain the roller coaster ride we were on. Yes, a roller coaster ride can be quite thrilling with its ups and downs and twists and turns..but it can also make you want to throw up!

Here's what I know for sure. All those things that seemed so important before, soon became so trivial. My priorities shifted to making moments count more than ever before. Now I know the stuff of life are those everyday precious moments that matter most.

I’ve learned that life can be lived in solitude, and that’s okay…because those quiet times often open up great conversations with God. But on this journey, I’ve come to realize the comfort of living life as an adventure. But even adventures, as exciting as they may be can often make you want to throw up. For example, my BFF Sheila Michie came over yesterday to BE and DO – BEING my friend to let me vent and DOING as my friend – helping me pack. Her presence allowed me to shed some tears about the unknowns of my future, in spite of my rock-solid faith and trust in God’s guidance and provision. Living out-loud opens us up to vulnerability, because we all know there are times when the journey gets rocky and uncomfortable. It’s okay…..because the rocks make us appreciate the flat roads more; the uphill climbs make us appreciate the downhill sprints.

I know my posts reveal my innermost thoughts – sort of like living in a glass house. But that’s the adventure I’ve chosen. I want my glass house to be a beacon of light for those who can follow in my footsteps, even board the roller coaster with me. So, excuse me, while I spend my day cleaning out my Tulsa house, moving over to a friend's home and appreciating this ride until I jump aboard the next wild ride. I’m in it to win it and of course, you’ll know all about it, because “living out-loud” seems to be this roller coaster ride's mode of operation.

I'm Going to Adventureland!

Ever felt like that little bird that was done with that not-so-cozy nest and was ready to take wing and fly away?  It may be called "restlessness".  My friend and I were visiting yesterday about willing to live out loud with no regrets -- ready to take on some adventures.  Quite frankly, I think I've become a little too comfortable where I'm at and that's why I'm saying "Yes, Lord" to wherever He wants me to go and to do whatever He wants me to do.   I know that sounds crazy -- especially since I just returned from three weeks away with my family.

In my prayer time this morning, I shared with the Lord how uncomfortable "my nest" seems to be these days. When I say "nest", I'm speaking about comfort zone -- complacency -- mediocrity -- status quo.  Each one of those words causes me to flinch.  I know that God has assignments for me to fulfill and "comfort zone" just won't cut it.  Yesterday, I spoke about Martin Luther King's undaunted determination to change his world.  "Comfort zone" wasn't even in his vocabulary.  To accomplish anything great, it shouldn't be in our vocabulary either.   Last night, Trainer Bob Harper, on The Biggest Loser show, said to the teams, "Not until you are the most uncomfortable and having to push out of your comfort zone, will you really see what you're made of."

And, don't we want to see what we are made of?  These thoughts have guided me to a new place in my prayer life.  A place where I not only ask for God's help with "life's stuff", but to focus more than ever before on my need for heavenly wisdom -- especially when I know how valuable each and every day must be.  So getting out of my comfort zone and going into my prayer zone is signficantly the best place to hang out during these times of question.

King David had such a way with words and his knack for early morning rising to seek God certainly helped him be his best.  And I've found those are my best times too -- those times when I ask my Father to speak to me, to help me, to listen, and give me insight as to what the day and the future will hold as I place my agenda into His hands.  When you and I do that, then He unfolds the plans, opens doors to spectacular adventures, and causes our steps to be on purpose.  Once we get that, then the restlessness will cease and the wide-eyed wonder of a child will run to ADVENTURELAND with all out abandonment for the thrilling rides that lie ahead!  Surely -- not a chance for boredom, complacency, or status quo there.

I Want My Life to be Filled With "I Get To" Moments

I am one to make "to do" lists.  And I'm filled with a sense of accomplishment as I check off each "to do" item.  Last week, my "to do's" included getting my home ready for the family coming in, getting the pantry and fridge stocked with food, getting my baking done, and getting my annual family photo taken.  I was able to check them all off.  

There are a lot of "have to's" in my life.  I have to pay bills.   I have to respond to emails.   I have to go to the grocery store.  I have to put gas in my car.   I have to clean my house.  I have to eat.  I have to wash my car.  I have to pay taxes.

It’s interesting to look at my "have to" list, and the "get to" list.  My "get to" list -- are the things I "get to" do spontaneously AND intentionally, because I CAN, and because  I really want to do those things.

I GET TO write a daily FB post that fills me with unabashed passion, that often keeps me up late into the wee hours of the morning -- seeking God for "the word" that just might make the difference in someone's day.   I GET TO run daily because it makes me feel alive and energized.  

I get to be a silly, wild and wanting-to-live-out-loud with my grandkids like, yesterday, playing hide-n-go-seek and skipping rocks on water, playing Apples-to-Apples and anything else to be a "rockin'" Nana!   I get to be free of having to have the house in perfect order when the grandkids are here -- the messes are nothing compared to the freedom of doing the things that matter most --

like have a sand-design competition -- and, yes, in Nana's house.  Spending time together TODAY -- in this sweet, present time -- time that we'll never have like this day again.  

Then I wonder where does my time with God fall?  Into the "have to"  list or the "get to" list?  Do I consider my time in the Word as a “have to” or a “get to?”  And what about my worship and praise to Him?    Actually, I do pray for God to create in me a "get to" holy desire to spend time with Him, in His Word, worshipping Him and praising Him for all He means to me.     I want it to be the item on my to-do list that becomes so non-negotiable that it comes before everything else in my life.   I want my life to be filled with “get to” moments and not “have to” tasks because I can see them all through the lens of blessing and answered prayer.

Aren't we so glad that we're not on God's "have to" relationship list, but we are His most precious "get to" relationship list.  He considers us His most cherished and beloved of all treasures.  Shouldn't we be living like that?