Love and Marriage and Love

"Love and Marriage" seemed to have been the themes in church services I attended on Sunday. The first inspiring message I heard delved into what causes divorce and one of the first reasons was because they starting saying the word “divorce”. The minister said when couples say their vows and make lifelong commitments together, then “divorce” should never be an option. He said, “From the very beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist.” Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Good advice!

He further said, “Every morning, wake up with choosing to bear the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Imagine
how precious marriage can be when each one is filled up with those juicy and delectable fruit.

Then, Sunday night, the minister spoke about following God’s rules. In the Old Testament, the rule to Abraham was: “I am the One True God. Follow me.” To Moses, He gave the 10 Commandments. But then Jesus came and He stepped it up. In His Sermon on the Mount, He gave the Beatitudes in which our dispositions change from the outward following to an inward heart change that says “I want to”… .Jesus said “You have heard ‘You shall not kill’, but He expanded it to ‘You shall not be angry’; Instead of “Do not commit adultery”, He expanded it to “Do not even look at another with lust” and He expanded “Do not take a false oath”, He expanded it to saying our vows mean “Divorce should not be an option. Put a stake in the ground.” Such powerful words for couples AND individuals in our desire to be faithful, true and devoted followers of Christ in our marriages and even in our single lives.

Finally, our pastor invited couples, in honor of St. Valentine’s having been celebrated during the week, to stand up. I nudged the man in front of me to stand up even though his wife couldn’t make the service. As he was standing up, Pastor said “Even if your spouse isn’t here, stand up!” So, I stood up, too! And, as he was praying over these couples and their commitments to each other and their support of each other, I realized “Oops! He was speaking to those who have LIVING spouses." I laughed at myself for standing. When the prayer was over, I turned to my friend and said, “Oops, my husband is in heaven! I assure you! We get along really well now!" Oh me!

My own final words for thought and application to you who are married: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and your never-ending love story right on into eternity. I did and I do. Eternity awaits me AND you!

Lost…..and May Never Be Found

A friend’s Facebook post said: “There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
The Stone...........after it's thrown,
The Word...............after it's said,
The Occasion......after it's missed,
The Time.............after it's gone.
A person...............after they die
I realize this so much now. Life is too short. As I get older I just want to live in peace and harmony and have joy because it can all be gone in an instant. Give love and forgive each other. For you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.”


Such true words, and great reminder of “living with no regrets”. I don’t want to say “I wish I hadn’t”, “I wish I didn’t” “If only….” I said that to myself as I was trimming my trees and bushes (4 large trash bags full). I looked at my bushes afterwards, pleased that they’re ready for stringing my Christmas lights on them. WHAT? Christmas? Already? Where did this year go? And, like my friend’s post said -- we can’t get that time back!

I’m going to keep that “no regrets” mindset. I’m purposing to pray each day and live by this scripture: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O God!” (Psalm 19:14) In fact, I’ve declared it as my new life scripture. I add my words to that scripture: ”also acceptable to my family, my friends and everyone I encounter in this day.” Words too quickly spoken can be regret “stones”. Please, Lord, keep a gate on my mouth and mind.

I made sure I was seizing the moments yesterday at Children’s Hospital. Patients went on a scavenger hunt throughout the hospital. At my Radiology station, I stamped their scavenger hunt cards and gave them a goody bag. I embraced the glow on those kiddos faces! No regrets! A contest was given for the hospital staff's best costumes. I loved my Radiology's team's great idea -- a ride at Six Flags!

Then, I made way to my "stomping grounds" in Tulsa. First order of “no regret” was celebrating Mom’s 97th birthday. Bonus was my great grand niece, Anna, was there and getting to love on her. Then to top off my day was staying at my besties' and capturing Sheila reading to her little angel granddaughter, Penelope. Be still my heart!

Tomorrow, I’ll be driving my beloved mentor, Sister Marie Pierre to our last First Weekend of November, Fall Retreat at Cherokee Lodge on Fort Gibson Lake. Oh, the memories of God showing off there with so many precius women who sat at the feet of Sister Pierre over the years, gleaning from her wisdom of serving God in practical Christian living.

After the retreat, I’ll head to Austin with my grands for a week or so. Some of life's greatest lessons come from firsthand experience. And those experiences teach us "living with regrets" or "living with NO regrets". The latter on that statement is truly the way to go. Believe me, I've known both. Those times we "miss it" are surely those times we learn from the most. Life is so short and making the most of everything we can when the opportunities arise, not only produces sweet memories, but it makes for deepening our relationships with each other.

Are you seizing those moments, minutes, days of YOUR life? We are here at this place, and this moment of time, for a specific purpose that God gave for only us to fulfill. Let's be done with just going with the flow....and let's live ALL IN! Let's look for those moments in this day that are over-the-top outrageous, once-in-a-lifetime moments, so that tomorrow, we'll look back and say, "I lived with no regrets!"

Road Warrior Widow Tips for Living with No Regrets

Phew! I gasp even as I type this blog today. My sweet ride (my trusty 2010 Buick Enclave – now at 130,000 miles) has been road tested to the nth degree over the last few weeks. Up to Tulsa for a funeral, back to Tulsa for another funeral, down to South Texas for two funerals, down to Austin to catch my grandson’s football game, back to Dallas for the Red River Rivalry of Texas vs Oklahoma and back to Frisco for a few days only to go back to Austin next week. People are amazed at my adventurous take-to-the-road spirit. I call myself a road warrior. I refuse to be bound by fear or concern. Goodness, how stale I could get if I just hung out at home all the time.

I was amused when my best friend called and asked “Where are you now?” I have to even ask myself that question when I wake up some mornings and I have to double-check to see what bed I’m in now. Some of my friends express amazement that I could be so brave to travel like I do – but it’s common-place for me. Just in case you may want to venture out and take to the road and be a road warrior, too, here are some of my “road warrior” tips.

~ #1 – I make sure my car is road worthy – tires’ air pressure where they need to be; being sure my car is serviced properly (oil changes and other fluids intact); being sure my AAA road service is up to date just in case of a towing need (I pray for my sweet ride and thank God for it every time I get behind the wheel!)
~ #2 -- I pack up my little food basket with all kinds of munchies -- nuts, fruits, pop-corn, crackers, and a big mug of iced water or tea, plus another mug of coffee. All of that “fuel” intake for the road helps keep me wide awake. I even make a plan for a little treat along the way – like a small, chocolate dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen or a pit stop at a rest area or truck stop to stretch or to grab my pillow and shut my eyes for 10 minutes or so. That’s all it takes to refresh and keep going.
~ #3 – I make sure I have great music to praise the Lord to or tap my fingers to and sing along with. Another road warrior stay-awake tip is listening to audiobooks – my favs are fiction Christian romance (I’m a hopeless romantic) or Christian action audiobooks. They keep me awake with anticipation about what’s going to happen next.
~ #4 – One of my favorite road warrior tips is to keep my eyes, ears and heart open in case God gives me a little nudge about what my next blog might be about. When that happens, I tap my cell phone voice memo button and record what that message might be.

The attached photos are from recent road trips and family outings. Brennan attends Regents School of Austin. I just had to see him play on Thursday. He is #7 and an amazing receiver. I loved seeing his team praying together after the game. The next day it was back to Dallas for the Red River Rivalry of Oklahoma Sooners vs Texas Longhorns. We were blessed with an amazing Longhorn family’s generosity to the eight of us! So no problem sitting with Longhorn fans. Our family may live in Texas but Oklahoma is in our hearts. Great family fun cheering our Sooners on to victory! Boomer Soone!

~ #5 -- My last road warrior tip is not just on the road but in every place and every season of life, this widow warrior has come to “live on the edge with accepting the thrills that await me – taking on opportunities to share the love, embrace the precious people in my life and be fully confident in my trust in God”. He becomes our safety and our security. Because of Him, we can risk living life to the fullest and be all that we were created to be. He keeps us secure, even though life is often insecure, even though we get disappointed, even though the bottom falls out. We embrace the highs and we wait patiently for the lessons learned in the lows. Really – THAT is my #1 and most highly recommended Road and Life Warrior tip – for God to be your Road and Life security and ultimate confidence, too!

“For the Lord will be your confidence…” - Proverbs 3:26

I Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
You know those words: “I should have done that but", “I would have been been that but" or “I could have gone there but…..” Should -- Would -- Could are words I’ve determined to get out of my vocabulary this year because they represent the past and that past is behind me. Or they represent hesitation to move forward.

I posted that I chose the word “contentment” this year as my word of the year to focus on and maintain. But yesterday a new thought occurred to me: What word am I not going to choose this year? I’m going to take the “shoulds” off the table because I want to wake up each morning and have a true purpose in this new day. I want to take on projects and activities and be able to say “yes” to opportunities that open the door to new friendships and new adventures. That’s why I’m volunteering at Scottish Rite Hospital for Children where I meet precious children, families, co-volunteers, and medical personnel. In fact, I met a co-volunteer yesterday that inspired me with her energy and zeal. I could be saying, I shoulda volunteered, but instead, I’m saying “I’m sure glad I did.”

I’ve also signed up for a couple of “field trips” to historical places to visit here in the Dallas area. I remember a friend of mine coming to Dallas last year with a group and her describing the interesting places that I had never visited in my city and I thought -- “I should have gone to those places by now!” No more “shoulds”. I don’t know anyone going on these upcoming field trips, but I’m going to get out and about and meet new friends and make the most out of it.

I said “Yes” to being on an advisory group at my church. Instead of being a “shrinking violet” I’m going to use my skills and talents to hopefully benefit this group with my knowledge and training.

When we take the ‘shoulds’ off the table, we find out why we’re really waking up in the morning with a true purpose and intent on forgetting the past and making the most of each new day. Instead of saying I should do this. I should do that. I shouldn’t feel this way, I'm going to make statements like “I will do this. I will do that. I will not have those feelings.”

I thought “What can replace the ‘shoulds’ in my life?” It came to me that gratitude is what belongs in my heart and on my lips. For example, I took a nap the other day and when I woke up I thought “I should have finished inputting those records.” Then I came to myself and whispered, “Thank you, God, for that nap gift. I must have really needed it.” I got up and finished my work.

‘Should, would, could in my life are trickster and fibber words. I have decided that I won’t be speaking their names this year. Instead, I’m choosing, “I will, I can, I am”. I choose to live with no regrets because there isn’t a thing we can do about the past. We can lament a missed opportunity for years that can weigh down our hearts like a steel anchor. “If I had only…” has nothing to do with talent; it is simply the result of courage or procrastination.”

Those people – the shoulda coulda woulda folks – are not you and me. We are destined to leave an indelible mark on the world, as long as we have the will to make it happen. We’ll never know what we are truly capable of until we unleash our passion and give ourselves permission to go, do, be creators. I don’t know about you, but when I get to the end, I hope I’ll have more battle scars and fewer regrets. May we seize the day and never, never, ever be a shoulda, coulda, woulda.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Seizing the Moments

I responded to an “SOS” call from my son on Tuesday about their youngest, 11-year old Bryson, who was very sick and because they were going out of town the next day, they needed Nana. There are very few things, if any at all, that would keep me from putting anything else more important than to SEIZE THE MOMENT and go. Within 45-minutes, I was on my way and while my son offered to fly me down, the drive is much less hassle than the rigors of a commercial flight. When I arrived, little man was quiet, curled up in a ball, and it was Nana time with that sweet little man.

Next morning, his mom and dad were on their way and it was time for a lot of TLC love and cuddling – I take it ALL in with pleasure and delight. I know how quickly time flies and to be able to embrace these moments, is such a gift to me. I knew I would be there just that day and head back home to my routines, when my Bryson started begging “Nana, can I go home with you?” He knew that the family would be driving up this weekend for Brennan’s baseball tournament in McKinney (about 30 minutes from my home). I didn't take him seriously because he's quite the “mama” boy and I thought he’d change his mind, but I found out he had texted his hom nine times begging to go back to Frisco with me. They made it back home late Wednesday night and when Bryson woke up Thursday morning, he ran to his mom, still begging to go home with me. Bryson is home-schooled and she told him to ask Nana if she could wait until after his classes, he could. I was still in shock at this new-found freedom of unlatching from his mom. I was delighted.

Suddenly that quiet, sickly little boy that I saw the day before, was excited beyond words and quite amenable to any and everything that was asked of him. He had a plan and the plan came together. First stop of his plan: Buc-ee’s for a root beer and vanilla float. Then it was non-stop conversation all the way back to Frisco. I was in a state of shock. Never has Bryson been in the car with me alone before for any real length of time without his brother – who is the master of conversation. Bryson would always give way to his big brother’s verbocity. But, this trip, he was a chatterbox, telling stories and expressing ideas and thoughts like I had NEVER heard out of him before. He was definitely a travel companion that kept his driver wide awake. He didn’t even want to play games on his phone.

We made it back to Frisco and he wanted to see his cousins and their pets first, and then it was to Dollar Tree. It’s hilarious. I give him $5 to spend and it’s an adventure for him. Cousin Alexia just got her driver's license and was excited to be our driver. We tucked into bed and then it was one of our favorite times – to watch one of Nana’s Hallmark movies. What can I say? He’s a man after my own heart!

I love this season of my life. In fact this morning, for the first time ever I changed “work” on my FB profile to “retired”. I never wanted to say that word because it seemed to identify those who are sitting in a rocking chair and getting nowhere. I had new thoughts about “retired” over the last couple of days. My new definition of retired is “freedom to be ‘on-call’” anytime and in any place for God and WHOEVER He sends me to. It’s freedom to seize the moments like never before, and most of all, to live with no regrets. I’ll be seizing more moments when my Austin family make their way here for Brennan’s baseball tournament this weekend. SWEET!!!

I keep my phone in hand as my camera to "capture that moment" so that I "have no regrets" about that once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity. Rarely do I miss the opportunity to take up a friend's invitation to go somewhere or do something with them. I do my best to listen for God's voice telling me to call or email or text someone, or even go see someone to give a word of good news and cheer. Seizing the moments. Life is just too short not to be that breath of fresh air that someone needs so much. Often, it's easy to say “I’m too tired or too busy to go there or to do that.” But, then we realize the fun we missed, or the opportunity we missed to make a difference in our life and someone else's life.

Are you seizing those moments, minutes, days of YOUR life? We are here at this place, and this moment of time, for a specific purpose that God gave for only us to fulfill. Let's be done with just going with the flow.....and let's live ALL IN! Let's look for those moments in this day.....that are over-the-top outrageous, once-in-a-lifetime moments, so that tomorrow, we'll look back and say, "I lived with NO REGRETS!"

Hidden Treasures

Upon my return from Texas, I went to see Mom. I know she loves getting the latest news about all the family and I use my visual aids (my cell phone's photos) to describe it all. I had lots of photos from Payton's 16th birthday celebrations to show her, that she loved.

She played baseball as a young woman so she got a special joy of hearing about Brennan, our 11 year old's recent game. They were down 4-0 when Brennan was up to bat. It was a full count: 3 balls, 2 strikes, and each strike was a tipped ball. His dad hollered out "Shift your back leg". He did, and WHAM, he hit a homerun over the fence which brought in two who were on bases and his run. I showed her this photo of Brennan's team running out to celebrate with him at home base. Mom loved it. So much so, that she went back to her bedroom and found the photo of herself (on the right), her friend, and her sister, Penny (on the left) in their baseball uniforms. During the war, they worked for Western Steel who had competitive ball teams. Their team's name was "We Steel". Mom's eyes brightened up when she told me about how she made sure her back leg was positioned for her runs and homeruns, sliding into home, and her stretches to catch the balls in outfield. Treasures.

This little shared time with Mom (my mother-in-law) reminded me of the importance of spending time with our loved ones, but not just "time", but giving them the opportunity to remember and share their past. With my own sweet Mom, I would go over and often capture our conversations on video so that my family could hear "her stories" of what school was like for her, their Christmases where they got an apple, an orange and a few nuts in their Christmas stocking (that was all, but big -- in a family of 12), how she and Dad met, how they fell in love, how they made it through tough times. Treasures.

Maybe there is a Mom, Dad, Grandparent, Aunt or Uncle (in your life) that are past the ages of getting out and around like they once did, but I assure you, they are filled with stories and adventures that are just waiting to be heard. Maybe this weekend would be a good time for a planned and unrushed visit to see them and let them share those treasures with you. I promise you, you'll leave with joys inside and they will feel such love from you that you gave them the time to want to know! Live with no regrets. Know those loved ones deeply so they don't leave us with hidden treasures inside that we never found.

I'm Going to Adventureland!

Ever felt like that little bird that was done with that not-so-cozy nest and was ready to take wing and fly away?  It may be called "restlessness".  My friend and I were visiting yesterday about willing to live out loud with no regrets -- ready to take on some adventures.  Quite frankly, I think I've become a little too comfortable where I'm at and that's why I'm saying "Yes, Lord" to wherever He wants me to go and to do whatever He wants me to do.   I know that sounds crazy -- especially since I just returned from three weeks away with my family.

In my prayer time this morning, I shared with the Lord how uncomfortable "my nest" seems to be these days. When I say "nest", I'm speaking about comfort zone -- complacency -- mediocrity -- status quo.  Each one of those words causes me to flinch.  I know that God has assignments for me to fulfill and "comfort zone" just won't cut it.  Yesterday, I spoke about Martin Luther King's undaunted determination to change his world.  "Comfort zone" wasn't even in his vocabulary.  To accomplish anything great, it shouldn't be in our vocabulary either.   Last night, Trainer Bob Harper, on The Biggest Loser show, said to the teams, "Not until you are the most uncomfortable and having to push out of your comfort zone, will you really see what you're made of."

And, don't we want to see what we are made of?  These thoughts have guided me to a new place in my prayer life.  A place where I not only ask for God's help with "life's stuff", but to focus more than ever before on my need for heavenly wisdom -- especially when I know how valuable each and every day must be.  So getting out of my comfort zone and going into my prayer zone is signficantly the best place to hang out during these times of question.

King David had such a way with words and his knack for early morning rising to seek God certainly helped him be his best.  And I've found those are my best times too -- those times when I ask my Father to speak to me, to help me, to listen, and give me insight as to what the day and the future will hold as I place my agenda into His hands.  When you and I do that, then He unfolds the plans, opens doors to spectacular adventures, and causes our steps to be on purpose.  Once we get that, then the restlessness will cease and the wide-eyed wonder of a child will run to ADVENTURELAND with all out abandonment for the thrilling rides that lie ahead!  Surely -- not a chance for boredom, complacency, or status quo there.

Live Without Regrets

Day 98 of Photo Inspirations -- Live Without Regrets
Several years ago, my daughter was decorating her new office. She saw this "Live Without Regrets" picture, and just knew she wanted it to be a part of the decor'.  It reminded her of her dad and it represented his love of flying.  But mos importantly, he lived without regrets.  His only desire was to do more tomorrow than he did that day!

On Monday, I went to get my eye glasses adjusted and lo and behold -- right next door to the eye glasses business, is this new business "Laser Tattoo Removal".  It amused me.  First, tattoo businesses were seen everywhere, but because of regrets, now there's a niche market for tattoo removal.   And then I remembered seeing the Kentucky fan who went ahead and had the UK 2015 National Champions 40-0 tattooed on his leg, BEFORE the Final Four game in which they lost to Wisconsin, and before the Championship Game that ended up being Duke & Wisconsin playing.  UK's undefeated record went down 38-1 -- NOT 40-0.

It can be said, that this over-zealous fan was so confident about his team winning, that he put his confidence out there BOLDLY.  Well, good for him......rather, bad for him -- though Kentucky was undefeated 38-0 before that game, they fell to the underdogs, Wisconsin.

This is a great example of "Living WITH Regrets" instead of "Living Without Regrets".  I'm not talking about the merits of tattooing or not tattooing, but I am saying that in this one life that we've been given, why not think through the decisions we make -- in just one moment we can alter the course of our future, and in this man's course, looks like the Laser Tattoo Removal business just SCORED another customer!
#LiveWithoutRegrets #MakeThisLifeCount

Seize the Moments

I'm loving this season of my life, and I’m doing my best to seize the moments, and most of all, to live with no regrets. You'll see me with my phone in hand -- not so much to answer a call, but to be ready to "capture that moment" so that I "have no regrets" about that once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity. That's why you'll see photos of trees or sunsets or my grandkids or my friends or the kids' choir at church, or someone being baptized, that I'ved captured on camera. And, I love surprising my friends with photos that I've taken -- especially when they had no idea I captured the moment for them.

And, rarely do I miss the opportunity to take up a friend's invitation to go somewhere or do something with them. I do my best to listen for God's voice telling me to call or email or text someone, or even go see someone to give a word of good news and cheer. Seizing the moments. Life is just too short not to be that breath of fresh air that someone needs so much.

Oftentimes, it’s quite easy to say “I’m too tired or too busy to go there or to do that.” But, then we realize the fun we missed, or the opportunity we missed to make a difference in our life and someone else's life.

Are you seizing those moments, minutes, days of YOUR life? We are here at this place, and this moment of time, for a specific purpose that God gave for only us to fulfill. Let's be done with just going with the flow.....and let's live ALL IN! Let's look for those moments in this day.....that are over-the-top outrageous, once-in-a-lifetime moments, so that tomorrow, we'll look back and say, "I lived with NO REGRETS!"