It Starts With the Family

As part of the leadership team on retreat for an upcoming event next weekend, we were privileged to have Tulsa’s new Bishop, David Konderla, as our guest speaker. At the end of his talk, we had the opportunity to ask him questions. One of the questions asked was “What comments would you give regarding the upcoming election?” I liked his “straight to the point” approach. “Know the party’s candidate and platforms and vote for the one which aims you the closest to what you believe is God’s heart. Our role is to make the world a better place.” What he responded to in the next question made clear sense about what our roles should be. “As women, what can we do to support you?” His response was “You are women who are in charge of your families. Beat them every day, boys twice daily….just kidding.” LOL! Then he said, “Teach your children to love being a productive citizen – that will be the foundation for who they are and who they will become. The people we vote for in an election come from families. Home is their first training school.”

I loved that. Think about it. Every one of our politicians came from families – either they were taught the Golden Rule or they weren’t. They were taught character, honor, respect, human dignity…..or they weren’t. Family values involve all those qualities of how we want to live our family life, and they are passed down from previous generations. They help define the way we behave in various situations, help us make right and good choices, and they solidify the bonds we have together. If our family members respect each other – chances are very good, they’ll respect others. If they live by “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” that’s how they’ll treat others. If they support each other, they’ll support their fellow man. If they respect their family’s lives, they’ll respect other lives.

I learned character from a young age. I remember when I was just a little tot finding some wrapped candy on the floor in the grocery store and slipping it in my pocket. My Mom marched me back to the store to apologize for the error of my ways. That day, I understood the value of honesty. So much so, that as a grown woman, I will still give back change if the cashier gives me too much.

VALUES are those specifics that define who we are and are the absolute non-negotiables in our lives. When God made us, He planted within us certain things that we value deeply. They’re hardwired in our heart. Through our life experiences – from the environment we are raised in, the schools we go to, the friends we associate with, and the religious foundation we receive, God made them clear to us. These are the things that we would be willing to die for. They explain how we come by our personal priorities. If our values are on the side of the 10 Commandments, God’s Word and God’s love….I’d say, like Bishop Konderla said, “We’re making this world a better place.” What if we could see into the future as to where our children would land? Would that vision help us with being the examples of strength, integrity and honor to them? What if we were the only measure of rule they knew? Perhaps it’s time for us to look inside our 4 walls instead of peeking into others and judging them.

Love begins at home. It's not how much we do, but how much love we put into that action. -- Mother Teresa

Character is Doing the Right Thing

Day 256 of Photo Inspirations -- Character is Doing the Right Thing

When I was just a little girl, my Mom and I were at the grocery store and I saw a wrapped candy bar on the floor at the cashier’s check-out stand.  I snuck it into my pocket.  I figured “Finders Keepers”! But as we walked out of the store, my Mom saw my hidden “stash”, and she turned me around and marched me back into the store to admit the error of my ways.  That day I learned such a valuable lesson in honesty and it has stuck with me to this day – so much so, that if the cashier gives me too much change back, I’ll quickly let her know.

And then, there’s the grocery cart dilemma.  Do I go ALL THE WAY to the grocery cart corral and put my grocery cart where it belongs, or do I just slip it in-between some cars or on a curb?   If I wasn’t parked close to the corral, that’s what I would do.  But then the day came when I was walking away from leaving my grocery cart in one of those care-less locations, and when I turned to walk away, I saw it rolling quickly toward a car.  Thankfully, I recovered it before it hit.  That day I learned the values of integrity and character.

J.C. Watts, former politician, said, “Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught”.  And that is so very true.  Character is the one thing no one can take from us. It is what we hold dear to us.  It is a non-negotiable core value.

Some folks pay little attention to doing the “right thing”.  They tell their kids to tell a caller “I’m NOT home.”  It’s okay for a little white lie here and there.  It’s okay to put something they’ve changed their mind about in another location in a store (i.e., a head of lettuce in the laundry detergent aisle).  It’s okay to “fudge” on their income taxes.  It’s okay to take office supplies home from their place of employment.  They rationalize that they’re not getting paid what they deserve anyway.

Never has it been clearer to me, that character should take the highest priority when it comes to being trustworthy and credible to our children, our peers, our neighbors, our constituents……but most of all….to God.  He has a front row seat in our lives. Our actions DO speak louder than words.  It makes Dad so proud of His kids when He sees them “doing the right thing when no one is looking."

Fact is – DAD is ALWAYS looking.  And even if there were no consequences, no laws, no fear of any reprisals for our actions, when we do the RIGHT THING in any situation, I expect that He beams from ear to ear with pride and joy about His kids!

Proverbs 20:7 “The one who lives with integrity is righteous; his children who come after him will be happy.”