Being a Soul Searcher

I’ve been doing some soul-searching – especially about my attitude during this quarantine. Honestly, not too much in my life changed. Yes, I've missed my Austin and Tulsa family and I was sad about the retreat that was cancelled that we had been working on for months, but I had no special occasions or vacations planned, a job that I depended on, children who were missing their senior year activities, or the loss of a loved one.

Of course I can have a sunny disposition – I haven’t personally been touched with emotional or physical pain as some of you have. But today, I am a Soul Searcher. I think, maybe, my happy-sing-along-with-Donna attitude may have come across as insensitive. So, please, forgive me -- especially to those of you who have suffered loss and are still in a grieving mode. I sincerely mean it. To love you is to help bear your burdens.To love you is to wrap my arms around you (virtually) so you know how much I care and am praying that you will weather this storm with strength and resolve.

Among the recommendations for keeping us safe during the COVID-19 pandemic was to gargle with warm salt water. But, I thought about salt in a different way when I considered where some of my friends are at. I realized that my sunny disposition may not appeal to those who are in misery right now. Lots of disappointments, financial setbacks, dreams squelched, and really severe depression. That is not something to be “sunny” about. The saying goes “It’s like rubbing salt in a wound.

I do know that grief can slip in quietly behind our best defenses. I do know what it is to force thinking about good and hopeful things, but still the darkness won’t go. I also know more about strength and determination in God's timing that sure helps. I think King Solomon understood it when he told us “There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

I’m sure there are those who know that scripture and how seasons like this come and go. But, I also know weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing can all occur in one “up-and-down” day. I've learned it’s okay to have a good cry (like when I was going through old photos of my husband and I last week). I also know "Don't stay there!" I know to move on is to appreciate the beauty of the present. Grief-triggers used to be unwelcome visitors for me. I would refuse to allow myself to go there. But, I’ve learned that it’s okay to grieve -- temporarily – because to those who loved much – miss their loved one much. I embrace those memories as a chance to give thanks for God’s past gifts and to expect His work now and in the future.

Here’s my heart -- I’m so sorry for giving the impression that I don't care about my friends’ needs. I assure you I do care and I want to help you out of despair. Christ is alive so that we don’t have to mourn or grieve as those without Him do. He brings us beauty right in the middle of our hardest days and saddest seasons. And even though His work isn't always an immediate song and dance, He always presents us the opportunity to change: "He grants to those who mourn in Zion -- beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of heaviness." (Isaiah 61:3).

We don’t have to force the joy or avoid the pain. But we do entrust our sorrow and hurts to Jesus because He is a compassionate Savior who knows grief and understands sadness. He cradles us, He heals our brokenness, and He transforms the ashes we bring Him into a crown of beauty that only He can create. The "corona-virus" starts with corona (crown). Let's change clothes, put on the garment of praise and thanksgiving, our crown of beauty and expect the best is yet to come! I love you so much and I'm praying for your change of seasons and that your BEST days are ahead!!

I'm Walking on Sunshine.....Even in the Rain!

Last week my daughter and I were at Panera Bread having a great time of "girl talk". The sun was shining brightly when we went in, but all of a sudden we could see the winds blowing fiercely, dark clouds looming and then a torrential downpour of rain came. Yay! We needed that rain! Here in Texas -- it's been a blistering hot summer, but we've been blessed with the occasional rain shower that has sure helped our thirsty lawns. I've learned not to complain about the heat, the cold or rain, because, here in Texas, it's subject to change daily. We might as well....go with the flow!

Isn't that like our personal "climates", too? One day we are bright with a sunny disposition. Things are going our way -- even the lights are turning green before we get to them. And, another day, it's cloudy, rainy with thunderstorms overtaking us. The thrills of that "shout-hallelujah" victory can be overtaken by that "woe is me" agony of defeat.

It's inevitable that there will be ups and downs in our lives. Country Music singer, Lynn Anderson, made the song "Rose Garden" famous. The lyrics were: “I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there’s got to be a little rain sometime.”

When we read the writings of the Apostle Paul, we might think that he and Lynn Anderson were singing the same song. Paul had plenty of suffering to talk about, but he also talked a lot about the peace of God. He was talking about a calm that comes because of God's love for us. The calm that comes even when the storm clouds gather. Paul even had the audacity to tell us to "rejoice in our sufferings"! He said in Romans 3:3-5 "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Are you kidding me? We're supposed to rejoice in our sufferings -- from being hospitalized because of an illness, to going through a divorce, to face bankruptcy, to dealing with a loved one's death, to losing a job. Really? We are supposed to rejoice in those sufferings? Paul didn't mean for us to go "Hip hip hooray! I've lost my job; my husband passed away; the creditors are taking my car!" No, no, no. Instead, he meant that suffering is a part of life. No matter how many times we complain that life is not fair, Paul wants us to know that suffering (a little rain) is the part of our lives that helps us grow to those hope-filled people of character and determination.

What Paul wanted so desperately for us to know, is that our God loves us so much that He promised never to leave us alone. Yes, the rain comes AND suffering comes, but with God, we'll receive patient endurance. And patience leads to character. And character leads to hope. And hope will not disappoint us. That's a mighty fine recipe for pulling us from the darkest of times, to the sun-shiniest times EVER. That's when we'll be singing "I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)! And don't it feel good!"

Good Morning, Sunshine!

Is that you that we're talking to? Are you a ray of sunshine when you get up in the morning? I make it a point to be, and for those not-so-sunshiny folks, I can be quite annoying with my sunny disposition. The fact is, I don't need an alarm clock -- mine is built-in -- usually, right on time between 6:30 am and 7:00 am. I get up, get my thermal mug of coffee, post my morning blog and FB message, and enjoy a few precious quiet moments at the beginning of the day before the phone starts ringing and my daily routine and responsibilities begin. I taught myself to be this way. It was a decision I made years ago, and it has sure paid off for me.

Most of the time, I start my day in a state of joy and gratitude. I love the feel of a new day, with all the potential of new opportunities and moments to enjoy. Michael Buble sings this song so well: “It’s a new dawn; It’s a new day; It’s a new life, for me, and I’m feeling good!”

It astounds me that people say: "I am not a morning person so don't talk to me until I've had a cup of coffee!" They imply "I'll be in a bad mood until I get my coffee!" Okay, so I'm big on being positive and optimistic, and when I hear someone say that, I think "And, they are getting what they are saying. They will never be a morning person as long as they keep saying that!" If I woke up in a MOOD, my Mama would say: "You got up on the wrong side of the bed. Go get back in, please, and get up on the right side!" My Mama didn't take too well to crankiness and grumpiness (and believe me, she had plenty to be cranky and grumpy about) so she taught me to bring sunshine to our mornings. The fact is, if our family and friends have to deal with our crankiness and grumpiness, just because we had to get up -- it has the potential to dampen even morning persons' spirits.
God loves "morning" people, so that's reason enough to become a "morning" person. Listen to His Word here:

~ "Because of the LORD’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are NEW EVERY MORNING; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

~ "I love them that love Me; and those that seek Me early shall find Me." - Proverbs 8:17

God promises that His great love for us and unfailing compassion (and mercies) are new every morning. So, whether we are a morning songbird getting up at 6, 8 or 10, or a night owl, the point is that everyday is a brand new day with God and joy and gratitude should be our reason for getting up. So, say: "Good-bye YESTERDAY, with all the mistakes and worries and fears, and say "GOOD MORNING, Sunshine! It's gonna' be a GREAT day!"