Secret to Marriage Success

Day 21 in this Month of Love -- Secret to Marriage Success
Last week I attended the funeral of a dear man who lived a full and blessed life.  Just two months ago, he and his wife celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary.  Now, that's what I call "stick-to-it-tivness" and "only till death did they part".

What makes for a marriage that stands the test of time -- through thick and thin, ups and downs, highs and lows, tough times and sweet times, smooth and rocky roads?  I'd say listening to those whose marriages have lasted through it all is the first place to go for advice.

A good friend of mine was meeting with some of his clients.  He asked them "What is the secret to your 68 years of marriage?"   The wife went to her refrigerator, removed this handwritten note from its magnet and gave it to my friend to read.  This is what it said:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people that I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can – and the wisdom to know it’s me."

Such wisdom, that if used in marriages and other relationships -- the years, the love, the respect, the joys and the blessings would last a lifetime.

Perhaps this little note could be the wisdom we need to create longevity for the relationships in our lives.  I'm praying "Change ME, Lord!"  How about you?

A Love That Lasts a Lifetime

Day 291 of Photo Insprations -- A Love That Lasts a Lifetime
I had that kind of love with my sweetheart.  We were going to grow old together.  We were already planning a big famly vacation to celebrate our 50th which would have been in 2016.  But my Sweetheart slipped out of this "heaven on earth" to be in the REAL DEAL -- Heaven in Heaven.

So, when I see older couples so devoted to each other, still holding hands, seeing after each other, and still desperately in love with other -- it makes me so proud for them. I often think about "the way we were" and "the way we would have been", but it doesn't take away the sweetness I see in others.

This precious couple, Bob & Coreen Marson, attend my church and if ever there was an example of devotion and love, these two have it.  They've been married 60 years next month.  Bob is Coreen's caregiver.  Several years ago she was diagnosed with dementia, but It only seems to have progressed to not knowing her numbers and some people.  If you didn't know them, you wouldn't know there were any issues at all. I think that's what Bob's tender loving care has done for her.  I see such love in her eyes; she's always smiling, and she loves it when we hug her.  She'll nestle her sweet head right into your shoulder.  And, Bob gives 100% care to her and he does all the cooking -- and that's a really good thing.  He was always the best cook as he handled all the pancake breakfasts, special events and meals by our Men's Ministries group.  He also helps get her dressed  and makes sure all her needs are met.

That's the way they covenanted together 60+ years ago.  For better or worse; in sickness and in health.  A love that has lasted all these years.  I heard someone once say "“Love is not a matter of counting the years, but making the years count.”  And they've done that.  I called Bob to tell him I was writing a blog about them and he told me the secret to their many years together was they have never gone to bed until they've resolved any issues they had.  He said, "It's sure good to get up in the morning and not have any thing wrong between us.  It's just so great to have a clean slate to start a new day together."  

Bob and Coreen have been through thick and thin together; they’ve weathered their share of arguments. It can’t always have been easy, but then, neither life nor love are!   Sticking together, even through the rough patches is a test of character and of the strength of their love.

I agree with the physician that once said, "The best medicine for humans is love." Someone asked. "What if it doesn't work?" He smiled and said, "Increase the dose."