Oops! I Did It Again!

The older I am getting, the more I have to watch what I say. Words will literally pop out of my mouth like a Jack-in-the-Box when I least expect it. I wonder “Where did that come from?” That whole “think before you speak” quote seems to often be null and void in my life. It’s too late to retract them. I said them. They are out there now and perhaps causing someone to think less of themselves AND me. Lord, please put a gate with a lock over my mouth and only open it when You know my words will be sweet and uplifting. Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

I wonder. Is it because I pay too much attention to social media where the swords have come out and we wonder if they’ll ever be put back in their sheath. By this I mean the cutting statements in Facebook rants, the attack-dog tweets, the opinions launched like grenades at the other side. It’s tempting to run from it all and hide. Or to enter the battle with even bigger bombs. Go nuclear!

But I want neither. I want my “Good Ship Lollipop” days back again. My peers will remember the adorable Shirley Temple singing those lyrics: "On the Good Ship Lollipop. It's a sweet trip to a candy shop. Where bon-bons play. On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay." Oh I know that’s “Fantasy Island” (oh me, I’m being held captive in my memories library!)

But, the reality is we tend to soak up the world’s way-of-thinking like a sponge, and, little-by-little, if we let it, we start taking on the characteristics of those we really do abhor (not the people, for goodness sake, we are people-lovers or so we say when we declare: “We love the Lord with all our hearts and we love our neighbors as we love ourselves).

We see the problems — the issues and the differing opinions, the my-way and their-way, the divides between us. And we think what will make it all better is to fix it all and fix them all. So we focus on the politics, the rancor, the public opinions, Hollywood, the other side of the aisle speakers, and then we slam the door on our way out. We type in all caps and put exclamation points at the end. But, then I hear Jesus still saying: “Love one another” (John 13:34). What if we “fixed” all the problems and looked behind us and saw a war zone scattered with the wounded and the dying? What if I fight so hard and I win, but I am the only one to survive? Is that really a victory?

When we unsheathe our swords, may we use them to fight the real enemy (which is not each other or any human). We really are on the same side. We are part of the same family. Yes, we will and sometimes must disagree. But may we be the ones who stand out. May we “be completely humble and gentle; patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2)

The enemy of our souls is after mass casualties in the Kingdom of God. He wants us to turn on each other and do his work for him. For goodness sake -- let’s not allow this to happen.

I started this blog by admitting my own desire to watch my words. The truth of the matter is our words are not dull butter knives or plastic light sabers swung in the backyard. They are real weapons. We can use them to wound. Or we can fight the darkness together. I choose the latter. I want my words to be so powerful that the enemy and his helpers run in terror when my mouth gate is unlocked and I speak words of life. You, too?

Play the Movie

Since I’m on the road so much, I’ve become an avid audiobook listener. A friend recommended that I listen to Dr. Henry Cloud’s book “9 Things You Simply Must Do….to Succeed in Love and Life”. Dr. Cloud is a Christian psychologist and his audiobook intrigued and inspired me, especially with his principle of “Play the Movie”.

“Playing the Movie,” is the practice of seeing the end before making decisions. It’s like “think before you speak or act”. because the outcome might be good or it can be very, very bad.

Listening to this audiobook, I realized, that on a daily basis, I should be “playing the movie” forward in decisions I’m making, in the “Yes’s or No’s” that I give, the responses that I have when in a conflict, and when making healthy and fitness choices, or not. "Playing the movie" is envisioning the outcome before taking action. It’s also like the law of cause and effect. For example: "I would love to stay up and watch that TV special, but how will it feel tomorrow if I stay up late? Or, "This dress looks great on me, but how will it feel next month when I have to pay the Visa bill?"

What if that individual “played the movie” before he was tempted to steal that item from the store. Maybe "playing the movie" would keep him from making a bad decision that would cause him to go to jail, or even worse, to lose his family and reputation. In the middle of an argument, we may want to blow off steam, but when we "play the movie" we'll ask ourselves "Where will this end up if I say that? Silence is golden. I'll choose silence."

What if that young nursing student who just couldn’t deal with so much studying because she wanted to have more freedom to hang out with her friends, “played the movie”? She saw herself in the movie foregoing “the fun” because she didn’t quit. She saw herself graduating nursing school and scoring that job in a well-known cardiologist’s office and she did so well that she soon became a nurse practitioner and achieved many awards and accolades. Playing that movie would help her to stay the course and press through because it would be worth the sacrifice in the end.

What if we “played the movie” before buying the fishing boat on credit? Maybe the movie showed that they really didn’t have enough time to spend at the lake or the temptations it would be to miss church on the weekends or the extra hours that they would have to work to pay off the boat on credit and the hours away from the family because of those extra hours working?

I'm owning this concept of “playing the movie” because it gives me a reality checkpoint! Just maybe “playing the movie” can be a significant principle that will keep us on track in a positive way and keep us dialed into God's ways that are so much higher than our ways!
Proverbs 21:20-22 “The wise man saves for the future, the foolish man spends whatever he gets. The man who tries to be good, loving and kind finds life, righteousness, and honor.”

Oops, I Did It Again! I Talked Too Much!

Oh, dear Lord! When will I learn to “idle my engine in neutral for a while before I shift to drive”? I’m figuratively speaking about “thinking before I speak”. Sometimes I just talk too much!"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." Proverbs 18:21

The fact is….I have some opinions. I have some thoughts. I have an overabundance of words that beg to be spoken. And if I’m not careful those words can be too much. Maybe you can relate. Unchecked words that come too fast bring with them a rush of trouble. That’s why it’s important for us to consider some important “neutral” things about our words. You know the things to consider before we shift to DRIVE!

Listening should take precedence over speaking. Honestly, I think a lot of relationship troubles could be solved if we made the commitment to listen more than we speak. Oh my goodness – that’s hard to do – especially when I think my two cents worth will add so much to the conversation. All I can focus on is when I’m going to be able to jump in and say what’s screaming in my brain. Later I realize all that focus on my next words prevented me from really listening to what they were trying to say. Please, dear Lord. Help me to NOT interrupt. Please help me to wait for the true pause in the conversation and help me to REALLY HEAR what the other person was REALLY saying and answer with YOUR words, not mine. "To answer before listening — that is folly and shame." Proverbs 18:13.

Our words should be measured. Idle our engines before shifting to drive. In other words, we need to engage our brains before we engage our mouths. Just like when I’m considering a purchase and my bank account, I must consider how words will affect my relationship account. I can do this by thinking about how my words will come across and intentionally asking myself if there are better words that could be used in this conversation?
"Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." Proverbs 18:2

What if it's TOO LATE? I already spoke those words. How can I un-speak them? Did I really say that? Did THOSE words actually come out of my mouth? After all, I really do mean it when I prayed the scripture “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 The fact is, once words come out of my mouth I can’t gather them back in. It’s like once you squeeze too much toothpaste out, you can’t get it back into the tube. I can quickly say “I’m sorry.” I can ask for forgiveness. I can attempt to make the wrong right. But I can’t un-speak my words. "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." Proverbs 18:21
If our greatest desires are to honor the Lord with every word we say and interaction we have, it is crucially important to keep in mind these thoughts. “Mouth. Tongue. Flesh. Shut up (literally)! You’re NOT the boss of me or my thoughts and opinions. God is my Boss and He gives me kind, considerate and thoughtful words to say!" That’s what I pray today. How about you?

Be Sure to Think AND Think Before You Speak

Have you ever said some dumb “something” and so wished you could retract those words, but it was too late? The damage was done. I sincerely wish we had a built-in “pause” button that gave us a delay between what we are thinking and what we are about to speak. Often those hurtful words babble out just too quickly. Just a little “damage control” over our thoughts might have saved us from……damage to someone’s spirit and our relationship with them.

Speaking of “thinking” before we speak that hurts others -- what about the words we speak about ourselves? We need “damage control” over those words, too. I’ve heard people say words so negative about themselves that I want to put my finger to their lips and say "Shh. Don't say that!" They’ll say self-demeaning words like “I’m so stupid", "I just look at a cookie, and I gain weight", "I get a cold this time every year", "I could never do that", "I’ll never be able to afford that", "I’m too old to do that", “I can’t EVER remember names”, etc. And, you know what? They will continue to get what they are saying and thinking.

I am generally an optimistic thinker…AND speaker. I wasn’t born that way, but through conscious effort and repetition, I’ve become that person that sees the glass, not just half full, but FULL. I really do wake up each morning, anticipating a great day, good health and success, good things coming my way and I sincerely believe that I can overcome any difficulty, because of God Who is in me. I consistently pray Psalms 141:3 “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips” and Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD.” It really takes “a village” (Father, Son and Holy Spirit, angels, and saints) to help me because the natural inclination, in myself alone, would to be concerned for what this day and tomorrow could hold. Thanks be to God -- my thinking AND speaking have given me such a full, blessed and joy-filled life.

We really can control and change our thoughts and what we speak. It’s like changing the channel on a TV – we see a program we don’t want to watch, so we change the channel. In the same way, when a negative thought comes to us, rather than continuing to think that negative thought….we can change the channel to something good and positive. Those who think themselves a failure or unworthy of success and live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, will encounter closed doors, being late to appointments and other distractions that will keep them from succeeding.

But, if we make a conscious effort to thinking, speaking, writing, reading and watching the good and positive "stuff of life", eventually, it will be second nature for us to shift any negative focus to positive. If we think positively, expect favorable results, then our situations and circumstances will change. If we persevere, we will transform the way our mind thinks, as well as the beautiful things that will start coming our way.

My thoughts for today for you AND me are: "It's a beautiful day. We are loved. We are blessed. We are favored with good and great things coming our way. We have many friends and are making even more friends. We walk into a room and it brightens up just because we entered it. We can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us. We are healthy and whole. We are lovers. We are givers. SOMETHING GOOD is going to happen to us today!"

Think Before You Speak

Oh, how I want to put my finger to people's lips and say "Shhhh -- don't say that!" when I hear then say things like “I’m so stupid", "I can just look at a cookie, and I gain weight", "I get a cold this time every year", "I could never win at that", "I’ll never be able to afford that", "I’m too old to do that", etc. And, you know what…..they will continue to get what they are saying and thinking.

I am an optimistic and quite experienced, positive thinker. I wasn’t born that way, but through conscious effort and repetition, it's now, my mode of operation. In all seriousness, I anticipate happiness, good health and success, and I sincerely believe that I can overcome any obstacle and difficulty. Optimistic and positive people really do experience happy feelings; their eyes are bright, they're almost always smiling, they have more energy and their whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even their health is affected in a positive way, and they walk tall, their voices are more powerful and their body language shows the way they feel.

Positive thinking is contagious, but so is negative thinking. And, my heart is to inspire others to stop having stickin’ thinkin’. Thinking positively and speaking positively really works. We really can control and change our thoughts. It’s like changing the channel on a TV – we see a program we don’t want to watch, so we change the channel. In the same way, when a negative thought comes to us, rather than continuing to think that negative thought….change the channel to something good and positive. Those who think themselves a failure or unworthy of success and live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, will encounter stumbling blocks, closed doors, being late to appointments because of losing their keys, and other distractions that will keep them from succeeding.

But, if we make a conscious effort to speaking positive, writing positive, reading positive, watching positive and take actions that make us feel positive, eventually, it will be second nature for us to shift any negative focus to positive. It doesn't matter what our circumstances are at the present moment. If we think positively, expect favorable results, then our situations and circumstances will change. If we persevere, we will transform the way our mind thinks, as well as the beautiful things that will start coming our way. So, let’s start “THINKING BEFORE WE SPEAK”. Who knows? Those positive thoughts just might produce the harvest we’ve been believing for!”