The Art and Blessings of Compartmentalizing

I learned the art of compartmentalizing from my husband. I remember when were lying in bed at night, I would bring up something unpleasant or negative and my wise AND romantic husband would say: "Not in this room. Not now. Save it for tomorrow and we'll talk about it then."

My son is a very busy husband, father and business owner. Long ago, I learned how he strategically departmentalized his life. While having his "father" hat on, he is all-in at his boys' games or events. His phone is not his priority. At work, unless its an emergency, he won't be distracted from his business. And, I watch him take his wife out on their date night and he only has eyes for her. He puts aside all other distractions.

I've become skilled in the art of compartmentalizing my life too. When I'm at church, my focus is on worship, praise and serving. When I'm playing a community game with friends, they have my undivided attention. When I'm care-giving my grands, they have my full attention -- well, them and their animals. Last week, I was the speaker at an event. During the day, my thoughts, my actions and attention was on being in-sync with what I would share. No other distractions were allowed.

I've found that compartmentalizing helps me isolate that particular area of my life from all the other issues and/or challenges I might have on my "to do" list or what I happen to be dealing with at the time. My blogging is an essential that I give full attention to. I protect that time with diligence.

Even as a busy, overloaded multi-tasking mom or dad, we can still determine to focus on the one thing at hand, like the drive to school – conversing and making every moment count together in that car ride. At mealtime – giving each other full undivided attention. That’s compartmentalizing.

The point is, there will be an end to a responsibility or project and we can close the chapter on it and proclaim "success". There are always seasons in all of this. Times when family needs more attention, work, ministry, and play need more attention. And, yes, even when we need to get away and be alone for a period of time. But getting things done, over with, is best done with attention to compartments. Right now, I’m in my Facebook and blogging compartment – one of my main compartments in each day. I’ve learned to close one compartment and open another. I’ve learned to say “no” to things that don’t deserve a compartment. I’m getting good at that.

Compartmentalizing is also helpful with stress and worries. That’s one that tries to open up to me in the middle of the night. I don’t welcome that compartment and I do my best to keep it closed and locked up. But when it does open up, I’ve learned the best way to shut it down is to open up my “Think on these good things" compartment from Philippians 4:8 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

It’s amazing the volume and quality of work, play and family and friends' quality time we’re able to have by staying focused on one compartment at a time. We think the notion of multi-tasking is a good thing, but honestly, only “little attention” to the tasks produces little results. Compartmentalizing and giving each relationship and each task our best opens the way for the next success story in the next compartment.

Hospitality at its Finest

Have you ever been a guest at someone’s home and they made you feel like you were royalty? Right away, they offer you a drink and the most comfortable chair. They serve a meal fit for a king or queen and to top it off they bring you into the conversation – wanting to hear about you and your interests. You have their undivided attention. That is hospitality.

Jesus' hospitality was par excellence. He turned water into wine at a wedding. He fed the 5,000 and the 4,000. He cooked up a breakfast of fish for the disciples. A menial job for servants, He washed His disciple's feet. Once again, I pray: "Make me more like You, Jesus, even when it comes to being hospitable!"

What if we lived in a “hospitality” mindset? Not just having people over to our homes – but when we step out of our homes into a world where people are made to feel they are wanted and appreciated. What does that look like? Putting our phones away and giving them our undivided attention, being attentive when we’re speaking to someone (in that moment, that person, not a text message, an email, or a phone call is what is important), using words like “How are you today?” And, I get this one from my granddaughter who works at Chick-Fil-A, saying “It’s my pleasure / I am happy to”.

Christ is always in our midst, and we may be unaware that the stranger sitting next to us in church or the young woman needing assistance with her arms that are so full with her baby and diaper bag, is our opportunity to be Christ’s hands extended in hospitality.

We are the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, and this world needs His hospitality. I remember a message I heard at church. Our pastor was speaking about hospitality in a Spanish church. He talked about Jesus being in their midst. He asked, "Will the real Jesus, please stand up!" To his shock, a man in the middle of the congregation stood up. What the pastor had forgotten, parents in the Spanish culture will oftentimes name their baby boys "Jesus". It was humorous but it's a question we hear Him asking us today: "Will the real Jesus please stand up?" The real Jesus is found in you and me as we reach out and touch others with His love, servitude, and hospitality.

1 Peter 4:8-9 "Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."

Excuse Me! Could I Have Your Undivided Attention, Please?

This photo may look familiar. It should because I was in this very spot two years ago. I’m back in Tulsa for a few days that lead up to my mother-in-law’s 96th birthday on Wednesday. After my home sold two years ago, I stayed at a dear friend’s home for another six weeks because I had speaking engagements and other responsibilities here. I am back in this sweet spot and I get to enjoy this little piece of heaven again. This city holds so many precious memories, precious people, and so many favorite places to go. It’s not a vacay, but it sure is a favorite place to be.

I sat in this very spot each morning for my morning devotions when I was here before. I’d look out across this beautiful pond that my home backed up to. I received so much peace and comfort in this spot. I like to think that God also enjoyed my stay here because He got my undivided attention.

I wonder how God must feel about the lack of our attention because I get a little frustrated when I don’t receive full attention when I’m with someone. I can be having a nice conversation with someone, and then their phone rings or dings and, without even a second thought, they leave me hanging while they answer their phone or text message. Okay! I'll admit it. I've been on both sides....the one singing "All By Myself" while others were heads down in their phones and I've been the one with my head down in MY phone. What in the world? Where did our respect for others go? I'm ashamed of us!! It's time for putting those phones in another room or turning them off so we can get back to what's REALLY important -- being a sincere, caring, and respectful friend and family member.

Even worse is how disrespectful we can be to God. We can be right in the middle of sweet fellowship with Him when our phone dings and we can’t resist checking to see what that text message is all about. After all, it could be the plumber, the friend that we’re meeting later or one of our children or grandchildren who might need us. Right? But, oh so WRONG! We can be fully engaged in conversation with our Heavenly Father and our Savior Who gave His life for us and we allow ourselves to be interrupted. Sound familiar? God must be tapping His fingers on the arm of His royal throne as He tenderly and lovingly says “Excuse Me....could I have your undivided attention, please? I have secrets to reveal and plans to give you for your good.”

Just look at the object in this photo that the enemy of our souls uses to steal our alone time with our Best Friend, our Father, and our CEO? There it is, smack dab in the middle, instead of away from being a distraction to my one-on-one time with my royal guest. Jesus sat the example for us in Mark 1:35-36 "And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, He departed and went out to a DESOLATE PLACE, and there He prayed."

Are We Listening Well?

Hanging out with my grandchildren always gives me inspiration for my daily blog. When I watched “The Lego Movie” with my youngest grandson, I heard Emmett say, "I think I got it, but just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening."

I think I’m too often like Emmett. Listening well hasn’t always been my strong point. I had (and still do have at times) the tendency to be thinking of a response to someone speaking to me instead of “listening well” to them. There were times when I even cut someone off because I thought I needed to insert my experience into the conversation before they even finished sharing their story with me. Oh my goodness. I apologize to those of you who were the recipients of my not “listening well”.

I had a beloved pastor who always made me (and others) feel like I was the only one in the room when we talked. His eyes were on me. He didn’t let others distract him from listening to me. He listened well.

Have you ever had something really important to say to someone but you saw them texting, knowing full well, you didn’t have their undivided attention and weren’t “listening well” to you? Or maybe someone was trying to talk to you and at the same time you were texting, but you said: "I'm listening....go ahead!" In reality, we weren't listening WELL at all.

Imagine what God must feel like when He’s sending us messages all the time and we’re not listening well to His voice. We’re distracted or preoccupied or just maybe, we don’t even want to listen. You know how our children have selective hearing? You can call out their name over and over and they don’t respond, but if you say something like “Ice Cream”, they’ll come running. Just like our kids, we, too, have selective hearing. We listen to what we love. God is communicating with us all the time. He wants us as we want our kids, to "listen well".

So how do we listen well? We listen well by guarding our hearts. It's easy to be sidetracked, especially when we're so busy. We're running here and there, taking care of business and trying to figure out how to do this or that. God is always speaking to us, but our hearts are distracted as we are being controlled by busyness, stress, and anxiety. How many times did we miss a solution or answer to our prayers because we weren't listening well? We must guard our hearts so that when He speaks....we're tuned in to His frequency and can hear Him loud and clear.

Isn't it time we become respectful of others and we pay attention and “listen well” to them? And, above all, isn’t listening well for God’s voice a sure way to make right decisions? He holds the answers to everything we need to live a victorious life, so why would we allow anything to come between our ears AND His voice? Isn't it time for us to start LISTENING WELL?

I'm Getting Engaged in 2016

"I'm Getting Engaged in 2016!"
I heard someone say that yesterday, and I thought "So am I".  Of course, hers meant making a commitment to getting married, but in my case, it's about being less distracted and more on-purpose to give my full attention to those I encounter. It's looking into someone's eyes when they speak to me -- giving them my undivided attention.  My goal is to be engaged and present in a family game or watching a movie together or going to church together or sharing a moment together or just enjoying a meal together without interruption.  To be engaged means capture attention, grip, captivate, absorb, pledge, contract, promise, agree, bind oneself, interlock, unite.

Have you ever "engaged" someone in conversation, only to see them looking away or looking at their watch or phone?   How did it make you feel?  On the other hand, was it you that someone was speaking to, and you didn't seem to care about what they were saying by your body language -- looking away?

While I want to do better in being engaged and in the moment this year,  I want to be "engaged" in listening for God's voice and cultivating my relationship with Him as though I were engaged to marry someone.  When my sweetheart and I were engaged, we spent countless hours on the phone -- we couldn't get enough of "talking and sharing" with each other.  He was ALWAYS on my mind.  My focus was on him -- morning, noon and night.  I was ENGAGED and I acted like it in my thoughts and daily interactions with him.   Remember when Peter had the courage to get out of the boat and walk on the water to Jesus?  He did, but then his eyes looked away at his circumstances, he almost drowned.

Most of all, I want to be ENGAGED in my walk with God --  seeing Him everywhere I turn, keeping my eyes on Him, and listening for His voice.  When I do that, I will see, hear and know the path to walk in.  He is THAT important to me.

In dog obedience training, they put a dog at one end of a room and its master at the other end of the room, with a plate of food in the middle. And then the master calls the dog. If the dog eyes the food, he’s a goner; he’ll go straight for it. So they teach the dog to focus his eyes on the master. If the dog keeps his eyes on the master, he won’t be tempted. Instead of heading for the food, he’ll head straight to the master.

We need to keep our eyes on our Master or we, too, will get distracted. We need to get our minds off our circumstances and our problems, and focus on God’s goodness, His closeness to us in our present and His power to help us in our future

“Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end.”   Hebrews 12:2

Lord, I'm Keeping My Eyes On You

Day 272 of Photo Inspirations -- Lord, I'm Keeping My Eyes On You
I’m home from Seattle, but now on an amazing retreat – no electronics allowed, so my FB posts had to be pre-scheduled.  Hopefully, this one posted for today.

I loved having special one-on-one time with my two youngest grandsons over the last week.  Since we’re only able to see each other every couple of months or so, I often wonder if they’ve grown out of me yet.  You know – the cuddling, hand-holding, games playing, kisses, hugs, telling stories, etc.  But, thankfully, not yet.   At ages 8 and 11, they’re still so lovey dovey and precious.  They still love to cuddle while we watch a movie on TV and have the “usual” -- chocolate shakes and popcorn.
 
Bryson (the 8-year old) is especially tender-hearted and wants undivided attention.  He’ll get right in my face so I completely focus on him.  He wants to be the central focus.

That makes me think about our relationship with God.  It’s so easy to be distracted from focusing on Him – the phone, TV, computer, people, our needs and wants, etc.  Can we possibly imagine how much He wants one-on-one cuddle time with us – where He is the center of our attention?  And when He’s the center of our attention, we focus on what’s good and lovely and the question about whether we do what He wants or not  is easy because we will focus on what He focuses on.

Matthew 22:37 “Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”