The Security of a Teddy Bear

On February 15, 1903, Toy store owner and inventor Morris Michtom placed two stuffed bears in his shop window, and advertised them as Teddy bears. Michtom had earlier petitioned President Theodore Roosevelt for permission to use his nickname, Teddy. The president agreed and, before long, Teddy bears were being made by toy manufacturers everywhere.

I read that in “Vintage” Magazine. Since I’m “vintage”, I thought about the stuffed bears that I have. When my husband was travelling a lot, he gave me a 5-ft, stuffed, grizzly bear "Buxley" to keep me company while he was away. He also gave this adorable Teddy girl for Valentine’s. She sings: “L” is for the way you look at me. “O” is for the only one I see. “V” is very, very, extraordinary. “E” is even more than anyone that you adore. Love is all that I can give to you........"

Be still my heart. And, my little white bear was a gift from my granddaughter. There is a science behind a “Teddy bear”. Yes, it’s a stuffed bear with fur, a sweet face and has sentimental value for us for a long time (i.e., ME!) But, it is much more. It is also a transitional object that provides a sense of security when a baby is separated from his/her mom when she goes to work or takes the baby to a daycare or has a baby sitter. Science has proven that children who have a transitional object, like in the case of my grandchildren who needed their “blankies”. They always handled those moments easier than those without it. The theory is like a mother holding and caring for her baby, the baby cuddles his/her Teddy bear or soft item and associates it with his/her mother. The bear or blankie becomes the security and comfort needed when mother isn't present.

It makes sense, but where am I going with this blog today? Seems like a far-fetched stretch of the imagination to segue to OUR need for a sense of security, no matter how old or how young we are. Everyone experiences insecurity at times. I know what's it's like to feel insecure about myself. I grew up as that girl who was shy and not really feeling safe and secure throughout my childhood. My daddy was very sick and I was a latch-key kid. That's why it's very important for me to feel safe and secure in my life now. The good news is, I learned how NOT to live an insecure life. I know it’s God's will for us to be very secure and not to live in fear. He created us to feel safe, secure, and confident. It's part of our spiritual DNA as believers in Christ. The key to living a secure life is knowing who we are in Him, receiving God's love for us, and basing our worth and value on who God says we are, not on what we do.

I define self esteem as having confidence that I am who God says I am. It’s not dependent on my own abilities, but on knowing that God will equip me for the work He has set out for me to do. I was having one of those “I’m not enough” moments a few days ago, when lo and behold, a friend sent me this text message: “I want you to know how much I love you and am so grateful for the beauty of who God made you to be and all the gifts and talents He has given you. Thank you for loving God the Father so much.” WHAT? How did she know I was having feelings of inadequacy? Oh, I know the answer. She knows my Father and He knows me and her. He nudged her to extend her love to me that was just what I needed that day.

I’m long past having the need to have Teddy bears, though I still love them as mementos. But I’ll never outgrow my need for my Father God Who daily assures me “Donna, you are enough for me and I am enough for you." Maybe today you need to hear those words, too. YOU ARE ENOUGH! God said so!

"And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security." Job 11:18

Happy Valentine’s Day, Old AND Young Lovers!

My word for today is "Valentine’s Day" – a day that St. Valentine gave his life for; recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance around the world

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year because it holds one of my most precious memories. On this day, the cutest dark haired 13-year old boy named Ronnie (aka Ron) Wuerch and me, the lankiest, 12-year old girl had our very first “official” date (chauffeured by Ronnie’s dad) to a Valentine’s Banquet at my church. The photo here is that day – when Ronnie had to stand on the step above me – because I was taller than him. Oh, how I remember the butterflies in my stomach, the sweaty palms, and the pride I had in showing off my “boy friend” to my friends. At thirteen, Ronnie was already an accomplished pianist with an amazing voice. He played the piano and sang at the banquet. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world when my girl friends said, “He sings and looks just like Frankie Avalon!”

It was a complete set-up by my grandmother – of all people. She invited my family to their church where Ronnie’s dad was the pastor. Right from the start, that cute boy kept looking and smiling at me….and I smiled back. A few days later, Grandma called me: “Ronnie Wuerch says he likes you.” And, I replied, “Tell him I like him, too!” And that’s the way we began. Early on, my grandmother and our mothers knew (you know – that woman’s intuition), that we were meant to be. And we were.

This day is about lovers and I like to give credit where credit is due. This is the story of St. Valentine's Day. Valentine was a Christian priest who lived near Rome during the time of Emperor Claudius II, a sworn enemy of the faith. In the beginning, Valentine had won the emperor’s admiration, but lost it – and his life – by trying to convert Claudius to the faith. On February 14th, 278, the emperor was so outraged by Valentine’s unwanted evangelism AND because Valentine was secretly marrying Christian couples against His edict that he had Valentine tortured and beheaded. It is said that just before Valentine was led away to his execution, he wrote a note to the blind daughter of his jailer, whose vision was restored after he prayed for her. According to legend, he signed his note, “from your Valentine.” Hence, the tradition of sending Valentine cards.

I wonder what St. Valentine would make of this day of celebrating love. Would he laugh hilariously at all the chocolate, flowers, hearts and expressions of affection that lovers share, or would he cry at all the expense without a true increase in genuine love -- especially when it would be so beautiful if this day would really increase our love for each other.

Perhaps he would appreciate it all and maybe he would express his feelings by quoting St. Paul, whose wisdom he revered: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9

Thank you, St. Valentine's for reminding us, ABOVE ALL -- to LOVE. I am celebrating love with all of you lovers out there on this beautiful Valentine's Day. I urge you to live in the moments God has given you. Treasure your moments together. Please don’t take those moments for granted.

And for all of you.....can I gently remind you of an important truth? A truth that makes all the difference to me? If we are God’s children, we are involved in the greatest love story ever created. God created us, knows us inside and out, and loves us from the top of our heads to the tips of our toes. We can celebrate love this year just like everyone else, knowing that we have a deeper understanding than anything that’s advertised or on the shelves in a store. GOD LOVES US!

Happy St. Valentine's Day to all my FB friends! God loves you so much AND so do I.......<3 <3 <3

We Love So Much, We Give

Day 16 in this Month of Love -- We Love So Much, We Give

What would a Month of Love, with all the beautiful red hearts, chocolates, balloons, greeting cards and all kinds of things that say "I love you" be, without expressing our gratitude to the GREATEST Lover and Giver of them all -- our Father God -- for His GREATEST Gift -- His Son? "For GOD so loved the world (that's YOU and ME) that He gave His ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have EVERLASTING life." John 3:16. How's that for a LOVER who gave His best gift to you and me?

When I think about so great a love, I can't help but think, "How can we even with the slightest degree love like that? This scripture tells us how: “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loves is born of God, and knows God.” - 1 John 4:7. If we are in the family of God, we know Him, and knowing Him and spending time with Him, we start to take on His character. We start to look and act like Him. I believe that compassion for others is a real good place to start. It is a gentle stream of tenderness and concern for other people's needs. That love compelled Jesus to feed the hungry, comfort the sorrowing, heal the sick, teach the multitude, and raise the dead. I've experenced that flow of love toward someone, and I'll bet you have, too. You couldn't explain it, but your impulse was to do something special for that person. In fact, you just couldn't help yourself. You just HAD to give.

The first step to loving like God loves is to actually TAKE the first step. We start loving by faith and then we follow that flow. It's really becomes God's compassion flowing toward the one in need. The tug of love within us means that He is filling us with Godly compassion and He has chosen us to help that one. Then we simply ask God to flow His tender compassion through us in some way today. Maybe, as we pray, we should ask Him to lay someone on our heart. What if God wants us to be the answer to someone's prayer today? When God leads us to help someone, He will equip us to do it.

After church last Sunday, a friend told me she was led to start volunteering at Clarehouse. It's a loving home environment that provides end-of-life care. She told me that when she reaches out and touches those who are there, she knows they feel her love flowing from her to them. And, in turn, she leaves feeling so loved and blessed. Just think of it....the heart of compassion, the warmth of a touch. This hurting world is hungry for the touch of someone who cares -- who really cares! Through God's LOVE, you and I can be that someone. We are chips off the ole' block -- and our BLOCK gave to us BIG TIME. Let's reach out and touch someone and GIVE what He's given us....TODAY!

Valentine's Day -- February 14, 2004

Day 14 in this Month of Love -- Valentine's Day -- February 14, 2004
As usual on Valentine’s, my husband, Ron, took my Mom the single rose in a vase and her favorite box of chocolates. Mom had been living at the Grace Living Center in Jenks, OK for four and a half months because of a severe fall, which the doctor said was reason enough for her to not live alone anymore. “With her heart condition, this could happen again,” he told us.

It was a daily routine for the Nurse’s Aides to get Mom up each morning, help dress her in one of her coordinated outfits, and take her in her wheelchair to the dining hall for her breakfast, and other meals. But, when we arrived at her room (as was my daily routine anyway, but Ron went with me this morning), Mom was still in bed. Patsy, the South Wing Nurse, was leaning over Mom checking her heart with her stethoscope. Patsy looked up at us and said, “Edna’s not feeling so good today. She threw up quite hard last night. Her false teeth fell out of her mouth and the bottom ones broke!” I immediately replied to Mom, “That’s okay -- I’ll take them on Monday and get them fixed”. Mom didn't want anyone to see her without her dentures, so I knew I would have to make that a “priority” errand on Monday (this was Saturday). I could tell she wasn’t feeling good. She didn’t respond heartily to our greetings, and only gave a “little” smile to Ron as he reached down and kissed her, held out the rose in the vase and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom! Here’s my flower and chocolates for my Sweetheart!”

And, as I leaned in close to her, I assured her that she looked beautiful without those dentures, caressing her face and soothing her with words to comfort the fact that she wasn’t feeling good. I hadn’t seen “my smile” from her yet, so I did my usual coaxing, "Where’s 'my smile'?" To which, she gave a half-hearted little smile and mouthed the words, “I’m okay!” I noticed she had on her red plaid pajamas. “I see you’ve got on your Valentine’s PJs!” Ron then said, kiddingly, “Hey, Mom! Come on. Get up. Let’s go shopping at the Mall. I’ll push you in your silver Cadillac (her wheel-chair)” She always knew when Ron was jesting with her and today was no exception. She responded back to him by her typical sticking-out-her-tongue at him.

Everyone who knew her, knew how she loved to “kid” and “be kidded” by Ron. She and Ron had an unusually close relationship for the 40 years we had been married and five years before that. For many years Mom lived with us when our children were young. Ron would tell everyone, “Mom and I have never had a cross word with one another – well, except for the one time I had to scold her for allowing our 10-year old daughter to coax her into doing her chores (i.e., making her bed, emptying the dishwasher, etc.). Our daughter, Staci, would pay her fifty cents from her allowance.”

Ron’s Mom, Lydia, always came by to see my Mom every Saturday after her weekly hair appointment, which was just a couple of blocks away. This morning was no exception. She came in and greeted her dearest friend of over 45 years. It was these two women who diligently “arranged, prayed, and continued to bless” the relationship of Ron and I since I was twelve, and he was thirteen years old. How appropriate for all of us being together on this Valentine’s Day. It was “Mom” Lydia, and her husband, that drove Ron and I to our first date, which was a church Valentine’s Banquet, 45 years ago. While all of us were together this morning, Mom kept trying to tell me something. I just couldn’t make out the words.

Since I had been through many physical “ups and downs” with Mom over the last few years, I assumed that this morning would be like those from before where I had seen her feeling very low, but would bounce right back in just a matter of time. We all were convinced that Mom had nine lives -- she’d been so close to death several times in the last few years, but would recover and be her full-of-life self, spreading her love and joy to everyone around her once again.

Before leaving her this morning, Ron reached out to Mom in his customary way, joined my hand and his Mother’s hand, and said, “Let’s pray.” He prayed his usual prayer of faith and trusting in God for Mom’s healing, rest and peace. We all took turns reaching down and kissing her and telling her "good-bye". I told her I’d be back after a short while to see her. I guess I had a premonition that Mom needed extra TLC today, so I went to the Nurse’s Station and said to Patsy and the Nurses Aides, “I know you check on Mom regularly, but would you keep an even closer eye on her today, and call me if her condition changes?” They assured me that they would.

We had just gone for a Valentine's breakfast with Ron's Mom, when I got a call from Patsy saying, “Donna, I’m sorry to tell you; your Mother passed away.” Oh, the painful emotion I felt and the questioning ensued -- “Why wasn’t I there? Why did we leave her?” When we got back to the Nursing Home, the Nurses Aides were with her. She was still in the same position as when we left. Nadia, one of the dear Nurses Aides from Russia, immediately told us that she had come in to see if Mother wanted lunch. Being Russian Orthodox in her religious beliefs, Nadia asked Mom if she could pray with her. Mother would always accept an offer for prayer. Nadia recounted her last moments with Mom. She said that she had prayed a simple prayer and said that Mother’s eyes followed her gesture of signing her with the cross. Nadia left her room and after just a few minutes, Nadia came back to check on Mom, and she was gone.

After pondering the events of Mom's final moments of life. I came to believe that with Nadia's gesture of signing Mom with the cross, that Mom, like Jesus Christ said in His final moments, said, “It is finished”, and chose to "go home". Her assignment on this earth was finished.

After someone so close leaves us, we let our imaginations and deepest desires come to mind, hoping to relieve the pain of parting. Ron said, “Papa got his Valentine Sweetheart back today!” (Papa, my Dad and Mother’s husband of 34 years, had preceded Mother in death forty years ago.) My dear Mother-in-Law, Lydia, said, “Donna, remember when Edna was trying to tell you something before we left? I know she was saying, 'He’s coming for me.'" For me, having been a part of this beautiful, precious saint’s life for 56 years, (I deemed her Saint Edna Pearl long ago), who, because of her prayers, steadfastness, strength, true unconditional love for me in all of my growing-up years, caused me to be a the woman I am today. Though I miss her so much, just knowing her daily prayers of going home to be with Jesus and my Dad, were answered, causes me great comfort and joy. I think that my Dad and God had a mutual agreement on this Valentine’s Day, “Let’s bring our “Best Girl and Sweetheart” home!” And, they did.

Happy Valentine’s Day in Heaven, Mom, AND to my Sweetheart! I'm quite sure that you two are having a hay day running around heaven. What a sweet picture that is to me. You're healed, whole and celebrating God's overwhelming love! What a day of rejoicing it is for you there, AND me here!

FB Friends, please indulge me as I share these photo memories with my family and you!

Valentine's "Bah Humbug"

I don't think I explained about my Month of Love posts. It's been very intentional. You see, February 14th has been a precious day for me since I was 12 years old. Well, maybe even before that when we decorated shoe boxes for receiving Valentine cards from our schoolmates. Up till February 14th, 1961, the cards I received from boys were slim-pickens. But from 1961 until 2010, Valentine's meant the world to me. My Sweetheart and I had our first "date" on Valentine's (ages 12 & 13) and every year since then, we made it "our" special day. Since he graduated to heaven, my sweet kids send me "love" cards with precious sentiments, but you "single" girls know what I mean -- it's just not the same. You just wish there wasn't even a day where the emphasis was on love and lovers -- especially if you don't have a significant other.

But this year, I decided to defeat those thoughts as soon as February rolled around. Rather than being wimpy, I purposed to be energized, strong and determined. I decided to embrace this whole month and call it a Month of Love -- focusing my attention on giving out love daily, expressing my appreciation for friends, family and ESPECIALLY, my Father God -- the greatest LOVER of all.

Yesterday, I, along with other ladies from my church, delivered floral arrangements for Toni's Flowers. We do that for Valentine's and Mother's Day, and she is so generous to make a donation to our women's ministires. What a joy it was to see the faces on the recipients of those flowers, and Toni is so giving that she provides us with beautiful long stem roses with bows and packaged beautifully to give to those we just deemed needed a brighter day. One receptionist accepted the beautiful arrangement for a co-worker and asked "Where are these from?" I told her Toni's. She said, "I just knew it. Toni is wonderful. When my husband died, I went into her shop and ordered the arrangement for my husband's funeral, and Toni also put together a beautiful arrangement for my kids to have there. She didn't even charge me." And, I said, "As a matter of fact, Toni's is where the flowers for MY husband's funeral were from and when I found six little glass birds in her shop for my grandchildren's arrangement, she said, "That is my gift to you." Here were two women embracing the love and the memory -- just because I delivered an arrangement to that business.

After that, I took lunch to Mom and then went to the Nursing Home where my dear friend is recuperating from surgery. I spent time with her celebrating "she's still here, so God's not through with her yet" and then I prayed with her and her daughter. When I made it back to home, a dear friend from years' past called. She had no idea of my husband's passing 5 years ago. She was astounded, yet we both rejoiced in his graduation and celebrating our lives today. For nearly two hours we celebrated God's goodness in our lives.

I'm sharing my thoughts with you about "Valentine's NOT being Bah Humbug". I checked my heart on this before this month rolled around. This month, I'm looking for who I can bless. In fact, I've already made a date with my mother-in-law for a Valentine's lunch-out together. We'll be each other's sweethearts. I'm going to take communion to my friend in the nursing home. Instead of waiting to be loved, I'm making the decision to give love. I have so many friends who need to know someone is thinking about them right now. And there are wonderful ministry opportunities to reach out to those in need. There is so much joy to be had when we seek to invest loving acts into others’ lives.

I am NOT going to fall for the "IF ONLY" lie. You know, "IF ONLY my sweetheart was still here, IF ONLY I had a boyfriend, IF ONLY I had a romantic husband." "IF ONLY" can do quite a number on our hearts. That’s why I’m determined to replace my "If onlys" with "I ams". I AM loved by God. I AM so thankful for the people I do have in my life. I AM so happy that I love this LOVE season because I can express love to God and others. 1 John 4:19 explains it this way "We love because He first loved us."