The Keys to a Happy, Lifelong Marriage

It’s not often that I would post someone else’s words verbatim, but when I heard these (on audiobook), I knew I had to share them with those I love most. They opened my eyes to my own marriage, the struggles we had early on, the ups and downs we encountered and though our journey became sweeter as the years went by, we would have surely saved ourselves so much angst and been on a faster track by following, applying and living by these beautiful keys. If you’re still blessed to be married, I encourage you to print these out and start living by them – especially when it comes to the bumps in the road along the way. You know – when you’re sleeping on the edge of your bed so you don’t touch your loved one or when you’re giving each other the silent treatment…..again or when the “D” word comes up in your conversation or when you or your loved one’s words become less than praiseworthy. These keys are from Karen Kingsbury’s book, “When We Were Young”. The book is so real, raw and relevant to our day and times. I transcribed them to share with you. Here are “The Keys to a Happy Marriage”:

1) Keep God first. By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible. This makes for a beautiful marriage. Matthew 6:33 -- “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”

2) Divorce is not an option. From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist. Mark 10:9 -- “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

3) Marriage is not 50/50. There will be days when one of you falls short. Make it your goal to give 100% every day. That way, you’re both covered. Everyday forever. Colossians 3:23 -- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

4) Know your spouse’s love language. People speak love in different ways: gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time. Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow. Romans 12:9 -- “Love must be sincere.”

5) Expect the best of each other. Forgive easily. Attitude is everything in marriage. Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse. Keep short accounts. Don’t worry about being right. Ephesians 4:2 -- “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Colossians 3:13 -- “Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

6) Keep dating. Your marriage must be a priority. Seek God first, then your spouse. Never stop dating and pursuing each other. Value and celebrate your love. Song of Solomon 3:2 -- “I must seek the one my soul loves.”

7) Build each other up. Kind words are free. Look for ways to encourage each other. Every day. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 -- “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

8) Laugh often. Find reasons to be silly. Smile and be lighthearted. You’ll laugh about it later so make up your mind to laugh about it today. Proverbs 17:22 -- “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

9) Live within your means. Couples who get in debt, stay stressed. Living within your means can be great fun. Take walks. Play board games. Visit your park. Clip coupons. Hebrews 13:5 -- “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.”

10) Fix yourself. Not your spouse. Work to be kinder and gentler. Be the person your spouse married. Listen well. Be intentional. Matthew 7:3 “ -- Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And my own final words for thought and application to you: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and love
right on into eternity. I did and I do.

The Book-End of Legacy

I've shared before about how our family makes really big deals about each other's birthdays. After all -- that's the day that God presented us to this world for His purpose and pan. It IS a big deal. But on milestone birthdays, it is over-the-top honoring and celebrating. This year it was Alexia Wallace's (my granddaughter) Sweet 16 birthday year. My daughter, Staci, Alexia and I kicked off the month with adventures at Six Flags Over Texas -- the front-side bookend, and yesterday, with Larry and Staci away in Detroit, I was the bookend that finished off the celebrations. Each day leading up to her "16th on the 16th" was marked by a significant word of exhortation to Alexia. There have been family members, friends and mentors who took one of the days to honor our girl and pour into her strategies and principles for success.

I chose LEGACY as my word. In this first photo, is four generations -- my mom, me, Staci and Alexia -- that is legacy. In the second photo, you can see a beautiful shadow box that holds Payton and Alexia's christening clothes. I made Alexia's christening gown. That reminded me of LEGACY that is such a part of her DNA. Alexia is so creative that if she finds an "on sale" pair of pants, skirt or top that she really likes, and is way larger than she needs, she buys it anyway. She would hand-sew the seams to make those items fit perfectly. I was pleased to give her a sewing machine for this birthday gift.

My grandmother and mother sewed. I learned to sew from my mom and in my Home Economics Class in high school. Today, we can shop around and find clothing at far better prices than taking the time to sew, but sewing machines are sure handy for seams, making costumes and home decor' projects. I stopped sewing until my Alexia came along, and I picked up where I left off. I carefully made that christening gown and it represents the love I had and have for her when I see it displayed in their home. Most importantly, it represents the day that her Mom and Dad presented her to God and her church family, like Jesus was presented to God in the temple by His Mom and Dad.

More than talent, trade or personality, the most important value we can pass on to our children is the LEGACY of loving God with all our hearts. These words expressed my heart to Alexia yesterday. I encourage you to pass on the LEGACY of loving God with all their hearts to your children and grandchildren.

"My precious Alexia -- Today is the finale of your Sweet 16 celebrations, but I guarantee you, you will forever be celebrated – each and every day by those who love and adore you on this earth, and even more so, those that have gone on before us and are cheering us on from the grandstands of heaven. You will always be celebrated because of the legacy from your ancestors -- Godly men and women who prayed for you before you ever made your debut on this earth. You come from a long heritage of devoted followers of Christ and they lived this scripture and I, as your Nana, bequeath these words to you to carry on as you have been taught by your loving Mom and Dad. Now it is yours to take up and make them your own for those that you will birth one day -- both biologically and spiritually. How I thank God that you are already living, breathing and experiencing this legacy!

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."