An Icebreaker Became a Memory Maker

Our interdenominational fellowship group came together in my community on Tuesday night for another pot luck meal and time of fellowship. There is always an entertaining or thought-provoking time after dinner. This week we had five icebreaker questions to discuss at our table. I sat by my cousins and there were two other couples at our table. Naturally, for the couples, they answered the questions with each other in mind. For example, question one was “If stranded on an island, what 3 things (or people) would you want to have with you and why?” Each one of the couples gave as one of their three as each other. Widow Donna came up with a hatchet, water, and a ladder (I need help climbing a tree!). I’ve watched “Survivor” episodes so I know what I'd need on a deserted island.

The one question that gave me pause and introspection was “If you could live one year from your life again, which one would you go back to?” The couples’ answers were beautiful: “Going back to the first church that we pastored in Fayetteville, AR that began in our home and grew exponentially.” Another couple talked about the year that their first child was born, and the other talked about the year when he returned from Vietnam to come home to his wife and baby. Then it was my turn. I had plenty of time to consider it and, without a doubt, it would be the last year of my husband’s life that I would want a do-over.

You see, my sweetheart was a muscle-bound, picture of health and strength, full of the joy of living and sharing God’s love in ministry and counseling. We had traveled a lot and had the thrill of precious times with our children and grandchildren. Life was good. Then, came the day when we received the diagnosis of Stage 4 Kidney Cancer that changed everything. Life came to an all-consuming 24/7 endeavor to get him healed. If it had been God’s will, he would still be around today because with all the treatments, surgeries, interventions, and most of all, the prayers from around the world, it was his time.

This is what I shared with our group. I would have stopped being Martha – doing, doing, doing and I would have stopped to embrace every second that I had with my Love. I would have spent every waking moment laughing about our puppy love romance at ages 12 & 13 and some of the crazy things we did together. I would have talked more about all that God had blessed us with in the past than continuing to figure out that awful disease. We both knew he was in God’s hands and it would have been so much better to have trusted implicitly for the outcome than all the going here and there and everywhere. I would have sat with him patiently at the dinner table and just talked and talked instead of hurrying to get the dishes cleaned up so quickly. I would have thanked God for the ups and downs that we survived and even thrived through. Actually, I’ve added a little more than what I actually said in that group, but what I did say to them, as couples, to live each day as if this were the last with each other. Love each other deeply.

Since we can't do do-overs -- the best way to live life on this side of heaven is to take each day -- one day at a time -- and live it as though it were our last -- living with no regrets -- embracing and loving those around us with intensity, gratitude and gusto. Living in the light of eternity -- helping take as many others with us to heaven. My Love is waiting for me there. I look forward to introducing you to him one day!

Trusting God When It Just Doesn't Make Sense

I sincerely ask God to give me the words I should provide in my daily posts, and today, I was compelled to share these words. Maybe your heart is breaking because of a recent tragedy and you don’t know if you’ll survive the pain and heartbreak. I know some of you who are there right now. You are on my mind.

I heard a speaker share about when his dad was so ill, and in so much pain, that he really thought his dad would take his own life. He called his friend, a Christian psychologist, for advice. His friend said, "We pray that he won’t, but you may be right. He just might. And, it would be heart wrenching and painful for you. But, you will be okay, because you will still trust in God's sovereignty. You will bounce back because you will hold to your faith in God and you will live on with hope and determination. I know you. I know the storms you’ve come through. You will survive.”

That is so true for those of us who have met with a personal crisis, have experienced the loss of a loved one, who knows the tragedy of financial loss, who knows the pain caused from a divorce or broken relationship.....and we carried on. We made it through those times or, we are making it through those times right now. The speaker went on to say that his dad lived beyond that time and, in fact, his last days were filled with sweet times with his family and friends and trusting in God.

Yesterday, after our faith community had prayed months together for a dear 26-year old man who was battling cancer, I received the request for prayer for his beautiful wife (just married in June) and his parents, as his battle with cancer was over. As heart-breaking as that story is, without a doubt, I know there will be loved ones and friends who are already stepping up to give them support and comfort in these very tough times. There will be a healing process and they’ll be desperately looking for answers. But, with God’s abiding faith and love, they will make it. I know it because I know so many tragic events and I know those families survived and are thriving today.

When tragedy comes, we have an Anchor, and if we hold onto that Anchor, we will not go under. Yes, it hurts. But we will be okay because we still trust in our loving Father’s plans and purposes for our lives. We will bounce back because we will hold on to our faith in God and live on with hope and determination. Yes, we will carry on -- that is, those of us who know that this life is just a breath, compared to eternity. We will live another day and rejoice in our ability to stand strong in the face of overwhelming circumstances -- not in our own strength, but in His strength. "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Jesus said, “Never will I leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) One of the most beautiful promises in the Bible is that God “causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him…” (Romans 8:28). On this side of eternity, we don’t always see how He takes the broken pieces and creates something beautiful with them, but we can have peace in knowing that He will redeem the tragedy somehow in His perfect timing. Perhaps some of the good He will bring is to use the pain to bring us closer to Him or bring us into a relationship with Him for the very first time. And at the end of each day, we will still proclaim: "God is good. All the time. And, all the time, God is good!"