Ready for a Heart Transplant?

Because we were out-of-touch with the world last week while on our fishing trip, I missed two heart-breaking family notifications -- the passing of a dear cousin as well as the passing of the 18-year-old granddaughter of an aunt and uncle.

As I thought about our cousin, who lived a most beautiful long life of service to God and others, but suffered for many years from strokes, I rejoiced that he is where we all desire to be and know that our separation is just temporary. Heaven is where we’ll meet up with him again – sooner than later.

And, for our uncle, aunt and their children whose young 18-year-old daughter passed away, I could only think of heartbreak for a life lived for such a short period of time. I thought about heartbreak, heartache, broken heart and every other type of “heart” condition that needs mending, healing, restoring and I realized a heart transplant is what is needed. Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I know that comfort so well because God gave me a heart transplant when my heart was broken. We’ve all had our heart broken in some way and I would say to anyone that God cares about you and whatever your heart “issues” are. In fact, it is in our pain that God is closest to us. He gives us a heart transplant when we seek Him with our heart “issues”. It’s His specialty.

For the heart that hurts from the passing of a loved one, He gives us a heart of beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3). For a cold, stone heart, He gives us a soft, tender heart of flesh. For a heart that's guilty, He gives us a heart that’s forgiven. For the heart that’s troubled, He gives us a heart of peace. For the heart that’s anxious, He gives us a heart that’s confident. For the heart that’s lonely, He gives us a heart full of love. The heart that’s bitter and angry? He gives us a heart that’s forgiving and loving and generous instead.

So, today, if your spiritual heart is barely beating, I pray you to consider a heart transplant. I mean, go to God’s operating room where He heals the broken-hearted, sets the captive free, restores the years the locusts stole, breathes life back into your lungs, creates beauty where there were only ashes. I, too, knew pain, worry, heartbreak, concern, fear, and sadness. But, because I also knew the power of trusting in God and His great ability to heal and restore me, I reckoned with the lies of the enemy, and I opened my heart to the truth of God’s promises to me. I had a heart transplant.

There are voices in our lives that lie to us and they tell us we’ll never be healed, we’ll never get over the loss, we’ll never forget the past, we’ll never be restored, we’ll never love again. But we must come into agreement with God who makes us new again, restored and healed. We just need a heart transplant and be willing to live again because God makes all things NEW when He gives us a NEW heart and spirit. (Ezekiel 36:26)

His Assets My Pleasure

Last week my trip to Tulsa included a visit with friends in the community I lived in prior to my move to Frisco. Sharon and I joined up for an early morning walk as we did so often when I lived there. We recalled praying for our community on those walks and called our Hyde Park, Holy Property. I’m amazed as I see the once barren land when I built my home, to where there are so many residents and beautiful homes built there today.

We met up with another neighbor, Deborah, whose husband recently passed away and she, like me, understands he completed his earth-assignment and now she knows she has her own assignment to fulfill. I knew a blog was on its way because her story inspired me so much.

Deborah’s dear husband suffered from Alzheimer's for many years which meant Deborah had to quit her full-time job to be at home to give him the care he needed. In that season, she started a home acquisition company where she buys homes, renovates and flips them shortly thereafter. Her acquisition company is called HAMP which is an acronym for “His Assets My Pleasure”. The name of her building and remodeling business is called Honey Bee Homes. She said: “It’s pure and natural.” The meaning of “Deborah” is Honey Bee. She said: “This is a restoration business just like Jesus had.”

Deborah meant it's a home AND people restoration business. “I bought a home in not such a great part of town. It needed a lot of attention, but I acquired it anyway. One day, a man riding a bike stopped by the house and asked if I needed help. She asked, “What is your expertise?” He replied, “I can do anything.” She gave him a tour of the house and all the things that needed to be done. What he couldn’t do, he said: “I have a friend that can do this part and another friend that can do that part.” She hired all three men. Only one had a vehicle – a beat-up truck that kept breaking down. One day it ran out of gas. Deborah got a gas container and took him the gas. The other two men rode bicycles. They helped her She helped them. Deborah said, “I took them crockpot meals, Krispy Kremes and I kept a left-over refrigerator stocked with water for them. I took lunch to them and sometimes I took them out to lunch. You could tell on their faces that they were really impressed – that I would take them to a nice restaurant.” These men had been in jail and with a record, it was difficult to find jobs. The restorer of homes and people, she gifted them with dignity and pride as they were completely willing to put in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay.

Deborah said these men were raised in lifestyles where they had to learn and do everything. All from different descents and different expertise, they worked well together. The house had been abused and in such disrepair that they had to gut most of it -- taking out all the floors and putting in new joist and floors. During the winter it was so cold outside for the 8-mile bicycle rider who lived with his Mom. Deborah set him up with a heater and a bed in the home. It worked out well because in that part of town she needed someone to look over the house anyway.

She added: “I just sold the house last week. I bought it for $40,000 and sold it for $122,000. But I had a $100K in it and I was able to give them work. I loved Deborah’s “ashes to beauty” story. She could have been a widow who refused to live out her destiny. But she didn’t. She gave formerly incarcerated men jobs for the same reasons as everyone else: to support themselves and their loved ones, pursue life goals, and strengthen their communities. God has used her to live on purpose. She yielded to God’s words from Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” She knows those words for herself and for others.

We serve a God of restoration! You, too, may have had some disappointments or unfair things happen in your life; but instead of dwelling on the past and living in defeat, choose to focus on His promises because God wants to restore you with beauty for your ashes. He wants to restore your joy, your peace, your health, and your finances. Draw a line in the sand and say, “I am a child of the Most High God, and I’m not going to live my life in defeat. This is a new day, and I’m taking back what belongs to me!” That’s having a restoration mentality!

Indeed, like Jesus, Deborah is in the restoration business – restoring homes and people’s lives. Maybe that's the business we should all be in -- loving, caring and restoring the lives of God's precious children.

The Great Escape and the Great Wake-Up Call

Since my husband’s “great escape” to heaven, I’ve been invited to several grief support groups. I’ve declined them all because, right up front, I decided to escape from the mindset that I had to grieve and feel sorry for myself. Though I knew I would miss my sweetheart the day he left and every day thereafter, I knew I had a choice to make. I could wallow in tears or be grateful for the years we had together and carry on. Going to a grief support group, I surmised, would only introduce me to other widows and widowers who were still living in their grief beyond, what I thought, was a reasonable "grieving” date. I didn’t want to hang out with those “poor souls”. I had arisen from death to life, taken off my grave clothes and put on a garment of praise and joy. I made a point to smile more than I frowned and to LIVE on

A few weeks ago, I saw that my church has a new “Faith and Grief” Support Group. I dismissed any interest to attend it for the same above reasons. But then I felt a tap, tap, tap on my heart’s door and I started getting those “God” nudges and THAT whisper again. “Donna, be Me!” Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, God? Once again, my Master Coach was impressing upon me to get out of the “It’s all about me” to “It’s about being the hands, feet AND even the mouthpiece of Jesus.”

So, as a full-fledged veteran widow for eight years, I decided to go to the meeting in “stealth” mode. Be undercover, so to speak. If asked, I'd tell my “victory” story, impress others with my warrior-esque persona and show them all how to move on. Then that ever-so-subtle voice whispered in my ears: “Stop, look and listen, Donna! It's about Me!" I expected to see mostly older folks,, but to my surprise, there were many younger widows, widowers, daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers who had lost loved ones. HELLO, Wake-Up Call! Young, in-between, and old die and all ages can experience great loss.

We were all asked to tell who we are and why we were there. At my table, a young wife and mom of two young sons, responded in tears “The only thing I can get out today is my 40-year-old husband, without any warning, died suddenly last month." She is now having to hold it all together for her young family. There were others – all ages with their own set of circumstances that didn’t need to hear “Time to move on!" They needed tender love and sensitivity, and in the process, realize they are so much wiser than they realize and they are still here for a reason and God has a plan for them.

Because I heeded the nudge of God to go, be and do, I learned that all of our journeys are not the same. I learned we all heal differently. I learned that some pick themselves up by the bootstraps and in spite of the pain, they carry on. I’ve also learned from the Ecclesiastes 3:4 “There’s a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” We don’t all have to fit in the same mold. Some will take longer to recover. For those, Lord, help me to sincerely be your hands extended, reaching out in love and comfort. You said in Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” My hand is raised to be more loving and understanding and to comfort those who mourn and walk with them hand-in-hand until they are able to trade their ashes for beauty and receive the oil of joy instead of the spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61:3)

I learned to never judge someone else’s grief or their life or the time it takes for them to heal. In the meantime, I will pray for helping hands to help the single mom or the single dad that is raising their children alone now. I will pray for a mom or dad to show up for the daughter or son who lost one or both of their parents. And, if it’s for me to respond, may I jump up with great joy and enthusiasm and say “Pick me! Pick me!” By the way, I’m now on the Faith and Grief Team. Who knew why I waited so long to give others what I’ve received? Oh, I know. God did!

Blast From the Past – REDEEMING S&H Green Stamps

Most of you youngsters won't remember S&H Green Stamps, but my peers will remember when we’d receive them at the check-out counter of supermarkets, department stores and gasoline stations. S&H Green Stamps were used as reward programs at merchants from the 1930s to late 1980s. I well remember collecting as many books of 1200 stamps as possible because that would mean a new appliance or household item that we selected from a catalog and REDEEM our books for the item that we worked diligently to get.

REDEEM: to buy back, to get or win back, to free from captivity by payment of a ransom, to release from debt, to remove the obligation of payment, to exchange for something of value.

I heard the story of a young woman who found herself suddenly “un-engaged” three weeks before her engagement pictures were scheduled to be taken. It was too late to cancel the photography session, so she went ahead and had a solo shoot done at Disneyland and the photos were published and went viral. But even more remarkable than the photos, was her attitude. She described the day: "It honestly couldn't have been a more beautiful experience, and I was filled with the peace and comfort that only comes from above. I'm so glad I decided to go through with the photos, and more importantly, I'm so grateful for the smallest acts of daily kindness that make all the difference in a broken world." She REDEEMED her pain for beauty and gratitude.

That story reminded me of my own daughter’s heartbreak in her early 20s after a broken relationship. As difficult that it was for her in that season, all of the tragedy was REDEEMED and used for good because it turned her heart to faith in God and service to others as she established her “Cinderella” ministries. She recorded “Cinderella: Dreams Do Come True” song that touched so many lives. I’ll give you the link at the end of this post. She created the Pledge for Purity program that taught the beauty of chastity before marriage and went across the U.S. and Canada speaking to young people about the beauty of purity. There was further REDEMPTION, as she later wore that gorgeous dress, with the addition of North Carolina’s state flower, the flowering dogwood, in the Mrs. America Pageant as Mrs. North Carolina.

Isaiah 61:3 says, "I will give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." Isn't it beautiful that God says He will give us beauty for ashes? There is a redemption plan here. We give Him our ashes and in return, He gives us His beauty. Everybody has wounds; everybody has ashes--and all kinds of them. Those ashes look like rejection, a job loss, a miscarriage, a divorce, an illness, a loss of a loved one, and as my friends in South Texas -- the loss of a home. Ashes happen every place and to everyone.

In both of the girl's testimonies I mentioned above, it is obvious that tragedy can be REDEEMED for beauty AND I personally know that we grow from our experiences – good and bad. That’s WHY God REDEEMS challenges – by using them to show us our need of Him. In that way, we can count ourselves blessed when we face challenges. Jesus taught us “Blessed are those who know their need of God.” (Matthew 5:3).

Whatever it is that is overwhelming in your life today, gather it all up and put it in a safe place of remembrance, because, I assure you – REDEMPTION Day is coming where you’ll trade it in for beauty. Hold on, my child, joy WILL come in the morning!

http://staciwallace.com/cinderella/

Is This Christmas a FIRST For You?

My heart goes out to anyone that this is their first Christmas without their loved one(s). The memories seem more vivid and the love we had for them is even greater during this beautiful season. Pictured here is our last Christmas with Papa (my sweetheart) who always read the Christmas Story to the grandkids before opening presents on Christmas Eve. He was hilarious -- making the sounds of the animals and the innkeeper and Joseph. Such sweet memories. And, quite honestly, there's this yearning to be with them -- after all, what Christmas could compare to a Christmas in heaven?

My Sweetheart (husband of 44 years) graduated to heaven on November 16th, 2010. That “Christmas in heaven” mindset brought such comfort to me. When my daughter and I were in the mall a couple of weeks after his funeral, we were singing along with the mall’s Christmas music playlist. By then, we had heard every rendition possible of “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” and we started to sing along with it, when we both caught the words we were singing…..and we said to each other, almost simultaneously, “Oh….no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because you are having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We knew then, and I still know now, there’s just too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for -- to allow myself to be singing “down and out” and “woe is me” words and songs. I am just too blessed.

I know people mean well, but I have always found it amusing AND disconcerting, to hear what they would say to try to bring me comfort. Such remarks as: “I know your Christmases must be so hard on you.” or “Just go ahead and grieve – it’s okay!” That first Christmas without him, people would say "It’s so good you’ll be with your family to help you get through this tough time.” I thought ”Wow, those well-meaning friends need a class in “Bringing Hope, Cheer and Joy: 101”

Oh, yes, there are those times when I think about the sweetness of our 44-year love story, and I start to shed a few tears because I still do miss him so much. But then, almost immediately, the tears turn to rejoicing! I think, “These tears will do me no good…except for messing up my make-up”, and then, a profound sense of thanksgiving and praise begins to take over.

There’s several lessons I’ve learned about making it through the holidays: 1) Psalm 16:11 “…..in His presence is fullness of joy” – His presence will always be sensed when I take my eyes off ME, and turn them to Him; 2) Psalm 22:3 “He inhabits the praises of His people” – He is there with me when I praise Him; 3) He promised to be my Shepherd in Psalm 23, therefore, I shall not want because He leads me and He guides me. Why should I be surprised when He provides just what I need?

My Journey of Faith continues. Yes, there have been course alterations and my life-long companion is no longer holding my hand on this earth, but nevertheless, I am finding that the journey still keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. Tthe more I trust God, the more He gives me “beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61:3. Yes, those are the words I will give to those who are going through a crisis of any kind! It is possible to be full of joy….whenever….and, even at a funeral! Regardless of the season or time of year, God is so faithful, and instead of singing the “I’ll Be Blue Without You” songs, we can always be singing, "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!" Might as well embrace heaven on earth while we're still here!

And He Gives Beauty for Ashes

Day 214 of Photo Inspirations -- And He Gives Beauty for Ashes
#TBT -- Photos of the Previous Home's Front Porch in Ashes and the New Front Porch in Beauty and Blessings.

At our Life Group Meeting last Tuesday night, Freda Gordon​, one of our precious members, reminded us that it had been 3 years, since the August 3rd-4th, 2012 devastating wild fires raged out of control in Mannford, OK -- just a few miles west of Tulsa -- where 400 families, including Freda, lost their homes. They called it a fire storm.  A fire storm is an intense and destructive fire in which strong currents of air are drawn into the blaze, making it burn more fiercely.

Freda's husband of 43 years, had passed away just 3 months before and her grief was compounded by the unthinkable taking place -- a fire that was so out of control, she was left homeless.

Before the fires made it to her home, Freda said that the Lord was telling her: "Get your stuff and follow Me."  She obeyed that voice and retrieved her quilts and family pictures, a few papers, 3 or 4 days worth of clothes and then went to her daughter's home in Jenks.  She said, "I am no hero and wasn't waiting for it to go from bad to worse. Besides...the Lord was really nagging me to GO!!"  And she did.  Thank God, she heeded His voice and was able to get a few of her most precious treasures out.  She was still reeling from the death of her husband, and was in shock and disbelief at the loss and devastation all around her.

At that time, Freda could have retreated, gone under-cover (bed covers), and refused to carry on.  She could have allowed the ashes of depression and despondency to overtake her. But, instead, she refused to give up and her catastrophes turned into her blessings.  She was able to have a new home built in a new location where she has been such a blessing to her neighbors. The most beautiful part of her story -- is that she didn't let her past dicate her future.   She feels purpose, knows she was led to her present community, and is a blessing to everyone who knows her....including our Life Group, and ME.  What a blessing to know her and see the crown of beauty she wears -- instead of the ashes, the oil of joy, instead of mourning, a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:3.

Without a doubt, Freda turned her sorrows into a beautiful, living witness of God's grace and abiding love in the midst of the storm (fire storm, that is).  She is always encouraging others to "quit fighting it, and start living the life God intends for you to live.  It will be worth all of it."  

Freda also says:  "We all have gone through "fire storms". Maybe not in the literal sense like this, but we have all had those times that we feel we are being attacked from all sides and have no way out. God gives us an escape plan."

I love that.  "God gives us an escape plan".  Perhaps, today, you are reeling from storms or life situations that have devastated your world.  Take heart.  God has an escape plan for you.  He knows right where you are and His plans and purposes are to bring you to a safe place.  "For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11